A/N: Please note that the italic print is a flashback.
Oneshot
Clary POV
There are a lot of memories I look back on. Times I wish I could relive again but tomorrow always comes, and you have to say goodbye to today. So here I am, back in the little town in New York, where I grew up in. The place where all good things happened and where it all ended too. It never really changed. The coffee shops I used to go to every morning were still there. The high school had few renovations but it still looked the same. The town had the same memories from five years ago.
I was sitting on the park bench in the campus of St. Xavier High School. Freshman year was not starting out too well. Let alone being a new student. It was only the first day. My eyes were on the ground and I ignored all the chatter from passing students.
"You know, the sky is more interesting than the ground." I turned to my side to see a boy sitting next to me. He had blond hair and gold eyes. His whole body resembled the stereotypical jock that every girl fell for. I turned my head to look at the sky. He was right, the sky was more interesting than the ground.
I shrugged. "Sometimes it's easier to look down than up." He laughed and from the corner of my eye he nodded.
"I guess…." he paused and stared at me. I felt my cheeks slowly begin to burn. His stare was intense that I had to turn away. "You're new here." I nodded slightly. "I'm Jace." the bell rang and all students began to walk to their classes. "Don't be a stranger, I'll see you around…."
"Clary, my name's Clary."
He smiled and picked up his belongings. "See you around, Clary." I watched him leave. His golden hair blowing slightly in the wind. I smiled and looked at the time on my phone. I quickly got up to grab my things and walked to class. That was my first time I was late to class but I didn't really care.
I entered a coffee shop and sat down at a table I used to sit at in high school. Not many people were in the shop today. It felt weird to be where I would be five years ago.
"Hello, can I get your order?" a waitress said as she approached me. I smiled at her. She was a high school student by the looks of it.
"I'll just have a black coffee." I told her and she walked toward the counter to grab my order. As she placed the cup before me, I couldn't help but remember another memory.
I was walking into the lunchroom. People were talking and the room was crowded. I could see Jace at a table with his friends. They were dressed in their football jerseys for the big homecoming game tonight. I smiled at him as he looked at me from across the room. He waved slightly and went back to the conversations with his friends.
As I tried to find Simon and Maia, my first friends in this school, through the crowd, I felt a body slam into mine. I gasped as I felt hot liquid burn me through my shirt. I looked down and saw a large coffee stain on me. The girl who I bumped into looked so embarrassed and guilty.
"I'm so sorry!" she said as she scrambled to get some napkins to help me out. "I wasn't looking." I laughed slightly.
"It's okay. I should have been paying attention too." I realized how quiet the room got and saw people's eyes on me. My cheeks turned red from all the attention. I could see Jace staring at me with an amused expression. I looked away quickly. "I've got it. You're fine." I said and grabbed some napkins before I walked towards the bathroom. I let out a sigh and began to clean up the mess as much as I could. I was too busy getting the coffee off me that I didn't notice the door open. I felt a hand on my shoulder. Jace stood behind me with his sweatshirt in one hand.
"Here, I didn't think you had an extra shirt." he handed me his black sweater. I smiled embarrassingly at him.
"This is a girl's restroom, you know?" I spoke and gratefully took the sweatshirt. He shrugged.
"Oh well, keep it." He said gesturing to the sweatshirt around me. "It looks good on you." he walked out the bathroom. I took in a shaky breath. The sweatshirt was huge on me but I had to agree with him. It did look good and not because his football number, 27, and his last name, Herondale, was on it.
"Clary?" I turned to where the sound of my name had come from. Isabelle Lightwood, Jace's sister, stood at my table. "It's been so long!" she said. I stood up to give her a hug.
"I know. I got back two days ago." I said. "It's good to see you, Izzy." she laughed as we both took a seat. "I didn't know you still lived here."
"Oh yeah, I have been for years. Graduated college in the big cities but I missed the small town, so went back here." she said with a shrug. "What about you?"
I frowned slightly but kept a happy look on my face. "Well, I went to Chicago for college like I said I would but after I graduated, my life didn't take off like I thought it would." she nodded understandingly.
"Well, I'm married now. Started a fashion line and things have been pretty great." she said with a smile. I smiled back at her.
"Who's the lucky guy?"
She laughed and shook her head. "You'd never believe me."
I looked her dead in the eye with a playful grin on my face. "Try me."
"Simon Lewis." she stated simply and my jaw dropped.
"As in, the Simon Lewis?! The nerd from high school? My best friend?" I felt like I missed out on so much ever since I left everyone behind to start my own dream. She nodded with a genuine smile. Her eyes told me how much she loved him. I relaxed and gave her my best happy look. "I'm happy for you….both of you."
"I would have invited you but we couldn't find you, Clary. After high school you said your goodbyes and left it all behind you." she whispered. The mood had suddenly changed. I took a sip from my coffee.
"I know and I'm sorry for that, but I just….had things to do, people to prove wrong." I replied with a hush voice.
"We knew. We all knew but you should have let us help you." I knew she was right but everything that had happened forced me to do things I regretted.
My mom sat across from me with her head down. We didn't say a thing to each other. Dad was storming around the house trying to grab every belonging he owned.
"This family was bound to fall apart!" he screamed. His bags and cases were messily thrown at the front door. "I'm done! I don't know why I tried!" my parents have argued about so many things and most of it was money. "A woman who can't even help me pay off the bills and a child who can't do anything right!" I flinched at his words. Mom's face was stoic and she made no movement. "How did I get so unlucky?" he whispered harshly and slammed the front door. He took all his things and left.
I held back my tears and went after him. He was putting everything in his car.
"Dad! Don't leave us, we still need you." I begged and he ignored every word I said. He turned to look at me. When he saw my tears his eyes softened.
"I'm sure you'll figure it out." he said and pushed past me. The engine to the car started and he drove off. I stared after him in shock. After all the family arguments we've had, none of them ended this way. I felt so useless. My mom was standing at the doorway watching me with hurt eyes.
One month later, mom and I got a letter. A divorce letter. He gave all custody of me to my mom and left us with nothing. She signed the papers without a second thought and after that I've always felt like I had to prove myself to everyone. That I'm not useless and that I have a purpose. I just didn't think I'd get so lost in that goal that I'd leave everything else behind.
"I still haven't proved anything." I said to her. She had a sorrowful look on her face that snapped me out of my sob story. "Let's stop talking about that!" I said and put on a happy smile. "What about Magnus and Alec, or Maia and Jordan?"
She smiled slightly, still clearly concerned about me. "They're okay. Alec and Magnus are living in New York City together. Maia and Jordan had a kid two years ago. She's the cutest little thing ever." I smiled at the thought of having a little Jordan and Maia running around. I missed out on so much. "They actually named her Clare, after a special redhead." I laughed.
"They shouldn't have."
She paused. "It was actually Jace who named her that….Maia and Jordan just fell in love with the name." I sucked in a deep breath. This was the part of the conversation that I wanted to avoid.
"How is he?" I asked softly.
"He's doing well. Went off to teach in St. Xavier and is coaching the football team." she spoke and I nodded.
"He always wanted to be a teacher."
"Yeah, he's well known and loved by a lot of his students. He's helped them out with personal issues but he's also strict in his teaching." I looked out the window of the coffee shop. It was fall and mid October. His favorite season.
"I hope he's okay." I whispered, more to myself than Izzy.
"He is." she laughed a little. "Jace is still the same Jace but he's matured a lot. Ever since you left, he's been driven by his goals. Sometimes I can't recognize him."
He and I had so many memories together. The more memories we had kept making me want more moments together. Even after all these years I feel like I still remember everything about him.
It was late at night and my mom wasn't home, so I took a walk. I sat on the bench at the school, the bench where I met Jace. It was quiet and dark, but for some reason I wasn't afraid. Dad left three weeks ago and felt like I was reliving his words in my head.
'...a child who can't do anything right.'
"It's late for a girl like you to be alone." I smiled but didn't look up. I knew whose voice it was. Jace took seat beside me.
"I'm not alone now." I said back at him. He chuckled and nodded. He threw his head back to look at the sky. I followed his vision and was met by dozens of stars twinkling in the night.
"What's troubling you?" he asked without looking at me. I sighed and leaned back against the bench.
"A lot of things." I whispered. "Too many things."
"Maybe I can help?" he said. Although we haven't talked much in school, I felt like I knew him closely. He put an arm around me. I felt a shiver come through me at the contact of our skin. "If you don't want to talk about it we can talk about something else." he thought for a moment. "I'll tell you one thing about me if you tell me one thing about you."
I finally met his eyes and smiled up at him. "Sure, you first."
Jace thought quietly for a second. "I'm adopted." I gave him a confused and shocked look. "The Lightwoods adopted me when I was ten. That's why I don't look like Alec or Izzy." I nodded. I always thought Jace took different genes from his parents but now it made sense. I wanted to ask more about it but held off.
"My turn." I spoke. "I had an older brother once. He died when he was twenty, car accident. I was only eight. After that my family kind of fell apart."
He nodded and we both looked back up at the stars. They seemed to dance above us and some were brighter than others. After our talk, we both fell into a comfortable silence. His arm was still around me and we made no move to change the way we were sitting. It was nice being close to him and for some reason, it comforted me.
After minutes of silence he finally spoke up, "The homecoming dance is coming soon, I still need a date." I looked at him with big eyes. I didn't plan on going to the dance but it seemed like I was being pushed to. "Will you be my date?" I smiled at him.
"Of course."
"He misses you." Izzy said. "You should see him while you're here."
"I think he's moved on." I whispered but it hurt to say those words. Imagining him moving on with someone else kind of hurt to think about. Ever since I left I haven't even thought about dating. All the guys who showed interest in me, I just waved off. Thinking about it now, I haven't moved on since Jace.
"You'd be surprised, Clary." she said and looked at the time. "I better get going. It's been nice seeing you around. I hope you stay longer." she said and threw a ten dollar bill on the table to pay for the both of us. Before she walked out the door she turned to me. "There's a football game tonight. Jace will be there. If you want to see him, Clary, you should go." I nodded and watched her leave the shop. My head was racing with thoughts about Jace. I wondered if his appearance changed or if he still looks like the popular high schooler I knew.
It was finally senior year and I was sitting on the balcony of the Lightwood's house instead of being inside with everyone else. We were celebrating graduation today but I had another thing on my mind. In my hand was an acceptance letter from School of the Art Institute of Chicago.
This was my chance to prove myself to my mom, dad, and everyone in my life, but mostly to myself. I knew that if I was going to take this, I had to say goodbye to everyone and I didn't want to. Jace and I had been together for all the years of high school. We were the couple everyone talked about but we paid no attention to the whispers we heard. We were happy together and sometimes we had our moments, but we always worked through them. Now I don't know if we could work through this one.
I felt two arms go around my waist. Jace stood behind me with a smile on his face. "Why aren't you inside?"
"I'm just thinking." I said and turned around to kiss him. He kissed me back with the same intensity he always had. I never got tired of being around him, of being with him. I pulled away and stared into his eyes. With a little sigh, I handed him the letter. His eyes had a curious look. He gently took it and he stared to read the words printed on the paper. His face grew into a huge smile.
"This is awesome." he said and hugged me tightly. I laughed as he spun me around. "You made it!"
I frowned at him. "You know what this means, right? I'll be leaving New York." he dropped his smile and nodded.
"I know but you've always wanted this." Jace held me closer to him. "It doesn't mean that our relationship has to end." I closed my eyes. He took in a deep breath. "Clary…."
"I don't think I'll ever come back to New York." I whispered to him and opened my eyes. I saw the pain and sadness on his face. "I don't think I could ever come back to this life and I know you've always wanted to go to NYU. You've always wanted to teach here and I'm not going to get in the way of that." I caressed his cheek. "Our lives are branching off, Jace, and I don't know if we could ever follow each other."
"When do you leave?" he asked with an emotionless voice.
"Next month, mom is coming with me." I said. "We've gotten all the details figured out and all we have to do is leave."
He sighed and placed his forehead on mine. "Then go." his voice was so soft I could barely hear him. "Just remember you'll always have me." I nodded and fought off the tears that threatened to fall. He smiled at me. "Don't cry, Clare." he hushed me and held me so close that nothing could ever fit in between us.
"I love you, Jace." I said for the first time. The words fell naturally off my lips and they felt like the belonged to him.
He smiled. "I love you too."
I sat on the bleachers watching the football game. The crowd was loudly screaming for St. Xavier. I smiled when I saw a familiar face. Jace stood on the field talking to his team. The game had one minute left and St. Xavier was winning. There was no doubt that they were going to win this game. I studied Jace carefully and tried to make out any changes to him. His body was still in a good build and he grew a little taller. I could tell he hadn't really stopped working out. His hair was darker but still had the blond color to it. Other than that, nothing really changed.
When the game ended, the team was congratulating each other with high-fives and hugs. I smiled at how Jace bonded with his team. With each passing second, I realized that it was getting closer to seeing him in person. I felt the need to back out but something told me not to. He was laughing at something a boy said.
I walked off the bleachers and onto the field. The boys rushed over to the locker rooms and it was only him and his co-coach left. His co-coach spotted me standing several feet away. He said something to Jace which caused him to turn around to face me. I smiled as his eyes locked on mine. They were still gold and still the same eyes I knew. I guess Izzy was right, he hadn't changed much.
He walked toward me slowly with a small smile on his face. I took a deep breath as the butterflies began to flutter in my stomach. This moment made me feel like a teenager again. He stopped a few feet away from me but he was close enough to touch.
"Hey." he whispered and observed me. He was trying to pick out any changes that happened to me while we were apart.
"Hi." I said back. "I ran into Izzy earlier. She said you'd be here, so I thought I'd stop by."
He nodded. "I didn't think you'd come back." his voice was a little deeper but I still thought it had the sexy tone to it.
"I missed this place….so I thought it'd be nice to visit." I said and tried to escape his gaze. I looked down at the ground to avoid his eyes. I heard him chuckle.
"The sky is more interesting than the ground." he stated. I laughed at the familiar words and let myself look up at him.
"Well, I'm not looking at the sky." I said to him. "The man in front of me is a lot more interesting." he smiled and came a little closer to me.
"Maybe we can catch up tomorrow?" he asked, "or better yet, homecoming is tomorrow and I still need a date to the dance." I always thought he had moved on with his life but looking into his eyes now, I can still see that same look he gave me all those years ago. He wasn't the only one who still felt the same way about each other. I smiled at him and put my arms around his neck. The feeling I left behind years ago came running back and every memory was being relived in this moment. This time I never wanted to let go of him.
All my life I've tried to prove to myself that I can be extraordinary and that my dad would regret leaving us. I left everything behind because of it but I never once considered who made me feel good enough. I forgot about who really mattered to me because I wanted to matter to everyone else, and being here with Jace was enough to satisfy me. I was just too blind to see it.
"Of course." I said with a small laugh. He leaned forward to catch my lips but cheers from behind him pulled us away. We looked at the football team clapping and laughing at us. My cheeks reddened but I kept smiling. Jace rolled his eyes and broke away from me.
"Yeah, yeah, don't make me add an extra workout on Monday." he said and that shut everyone up. I laughed. "Cock-blockers." he mumbled and all the boys chuckled. I smiled at Jace.
"This time….I'm here to stay." I whispered so that the two of us can only hear. He smiled down at me.
He bent down to whisper in my ear. "Good because I don't think I'll be able to let go this time." I didn't want him to.
A/N: WHOA! I'm back! Well, kind of. I'm still working on some fanfics that aren't ready yet but I am still posting. School just started and, let me tell you, I'm not ready. It's already stressful. I've gotten a little better at writing so I hope that reading the things I write are enjoyable. I've also changed throughout the year and I've healed from the painful things that had happened last year. So I hope you guys enjoyed this oneshot. I loved writing it.