/Jade/

It wasn't by any means new to me to sit alone at lunch. People had always been a bit hesitant to be around me, especially when I felt as cranky as I did today. It was still sort of strange, I hadn't realized how accustomed I had become to having company. Glancing over to Beck, Tori and André sitting across the Asphalt Café, I pierced my lasagna with just a bit too much force and half of it flew all over the table. It had been a week since Beck and I broke up after Sinjin's joke of a gameshow and I wasn't surprised everyone had chosen Beck over me. It had been inevitable. I had never been as much a part of the group as he was.

I was so caught up in my thoughts that I nearly jumped when Cat appeared beside me as bubbly as ever.

"Hi Jade!" she babbled, and seeing the messy table she added: "Wow what happened here?" At least the little redhead still spoke to me. I knew she felt uncomfortable picking between me and Beck like all the others had done. I simply shrugged as she sat down next to me.

"Did you see the casting for Sikowitz's play?" Cat asked cheerfully. I had always wondered if Cat was able to feel anything but joy, she was always so happy. It kind of made me sick.

"Yeah. Tori got the lead, didn't she?" I sneered, "No surprises there." The redhead smiled faintly not knowing what to say, so she started blabbering on about her brother's turtle and my brain zoned out in the matter of seconds. The play. Yet again, Tori had robbed the lead role from me. At this point I couldn't make myself care anymore, clearly she was the superior one of us, at least in Sikowitz's mind. Little miss perfect Tori Vega.

Both Beck and Tori were laughing together a few tables over which made me want kill something, other than the lasagna I was eating.

"Bye Cat", I said cutting off the girl's sentence and stormed back inside the school. I really wanted to go home but I knew my mom would probably chop off my fingers if I skipped school, and I had grown quite fond of my fingers, I'd rather keep them. To amuse myself for the rest of the day I broke in to Beck's locker and took his shirt. It wasn't not hard, he hadn't changed the combination since we broke up. I pulled the scissors from my boot and leaving Beck's locker wide open, I headed off and in a few moments the shirt was history and my mind had relaxed a bit.

I loved driving the car. It was the one moment when I got to be completely alone despite the crowds of people all around me. I could blast some music at max and sing along like there was no tomorrow. I was able to remember many nights when I had been grateful to have this escape. There were countless nights when I had driven the car up to the national forest simply to get away from the world, just for a while. When Beck and I fought, when my mother became unbearable. Driving was just a perfect way to forget everything.

So, when I drove home from school I was able to forget the way Beck's eyebrows had pulled together when he'd found his completely destroyed shirt in the dumpster. I didn't remember Tori's hand on his shoulder or the accusing looks they had given me. There was only the road, the music and the beaming sun of Los Angeles but it didn't last long enough. Before I knew it, I had pulled up to my driveway. There was just one more thing to do to keep my mind focused on something other than Beck, or Tori. Or anyone. So, I let my feet lead me inside the house and towards the basement. I noticed the used plates on the kitchen counter and a jacket left in the coat rack beside the basement door. I signed, knowing my mother would be down there but I opened the door anyway. The sound of my boots echoed in the staircase as I climbed down just to witness the bloody mess a woman I call mother, had made. Once again. The floor was nearly flooded with blood and she'd even managed to get it on the walls and all over the counter.

"Mom! Why do you always have to make such a mess?" I grunted with a sigh of irritation, annoyed when I saw the basement because I knew I'd to have to clean it all up. The woman before me seemed taken aback. Her dark hair was a mess around her face and the dim light made her look even paler than she really was. "I must have gotten a bit carried away", she mumbled and started wiping the weapon in her hand clean.

"You always do." I rolled my eyes grabbing a small cage from the top shelf. The squirrel inside it squeaked trying furiously to escape but it had become too weak. I smirked knowing it's thread of life was in my hands. Meanwhile mother had started to sort out her knife collection. "So, what did he do?" I asked nodding in the direction of a man hanging on the wall upside down. Knowing my mother, he probably said something sexist to her so she seduced him to get him here and tie him to the wall. It had happened multiple times in the past anyway. My mother had her own way of viewing the world and her own ideals on how to make it a better place.

Her eyes narrowed at my question and she hissed: "Well, I hired him a few months ago and he's been bugging me ever since. Asking my number, going on a date. At first it was kind of fun." She rolled her eyes annoyed, "When I wouldn't have sex with him, this little asshat got pissed and as a revenge he went and lost half a million dollars to my company and we can't have that, now can we", she continued, now talking to the barely conscious man who had started to groan in pain. "Also, he's a republican and honestly that's the only reason I need."

"You know, this is exactly why dad left", I snapped grabbing my squirrel and quickly finishing it off with a quick snap of it's neck. I wasn't quite as fond of blood as my mother was.

"Your father was such a pathetic man."

"I don't really understand why you married him in the first place", I said as I started carefully carving out the eyes of the squirrel. "It was a summer romance, surely I've told you before. It was all fun and games until we realized I was pregnant with you and we decided to get married", she explained with a frown. Her dark eyes seemed to look straight into my soul. I couldn't remember the last time we'd talked to each other like this, usually I tried to avoid her. She liked to talk about herself a lot and I didn't really care. She never asked me how my day was or how I was doing. I was sure she didn't know Beck and I had broken up, if she'd even realized I'd had a boyfriend in the first place.

"So, what you're saying is that I'm the reason you were miserable for nine years?" I claimed looking directly into her eyes, and she stared right back not bothered in the slightest. "I'm not saying that. You might have been a bit of an inconvenience but I still loved you."

"Gee, thanks mom." I nearly punctured the eye of the squirrel in aggravation and I felt even crankier than I did in the morning which I hadn't thought was possible.

"Now, be a good girl and go wake up your brother", mother signed turning back to the man who'd lost so much blood he was unconscious now.

"Can't you see I'm in the middle of something?" I snapped back at her dropping the first eye in a small jar.

"Just do it. He's been sleeping for the whole day." The meat knife in her hand and the madness in her eyes got me to lock my squirrel back in its cage and get up.

"The whole day?" Usually mother woke up my nine-year-old brother before dawn broke.

"He had a rough day yesterday, I gave him the permission to him stay home for the day."

"Yet, I couldn't stay home the time I got hit by that moped", I murmured quietly as I stomped back up leaving the gory basement behind me. Just before I slammed the basement door shut I could hear a slit of a throat and blood pouring onto the floor.

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