Note: A little late for Halloween but anyway, enjoy!
With Me
Blood.
That's the only thing he could see.
Tainting the air, the ground, his face…
Warm, powerful blood.
But it wasn't his blood, no.
It was…
A soft knock echoed in the silent room, followed by an even softer call. Allen moaned, turning around and burring his face on his lover's lap.
"Five more minutes." – he mumbled, like the child he still was even if most chose to forget that.
"You've been saying that for the last half hour, Moyashi." – a deep chuckle. Long fingers started caressing his hair, untangling the white strains with expertise.
"Hum…keep that up and I'll sleep the rest of the year." – Allen purred contently.
"Baka Moyashi." – a soft kiss in his hair – "Just go already. "
"I can't. We're cuddling." – Allen couldn't bring himself to say what he really wanted to but the arms that tightened around Kanda's waist delivered the message just fine.
"We can cuddle once we get back. "
"Promise?" – raising his head, gray eyes met cobalt. After all this time it still surprises the younger how much emotion those usual cold orbs could portrait.
"I promise, Moyashi. Now get up. Lenalee is getting worried and we don't want her kicking the door. "
Sighing Allen untangled himself from the samurai and stood, careful to stretch before moving too much. As comfortable as Kanda's lap may be they had stuck with this position during the whole night, making his bones more than a little grumpy.
"Hey, Yuu?" – looking back one more time, hand already on the doorknob, Allen couldn't help but smile. Like always, the samurai was standing proud, uniform clean to a fault, Mugen ready on his waist.
"Hn?"
"I love you. "
Kanda smiled softly.
"Baka Moyashi. "
Chuckling at the oh so common exchange Allen finally opened the door. Indeed, he met a worried Lenalee ready to kick the poor piece of wood into pieces but that didn't faze him. Even the confusion in her eyes didn't bother him a bit. So the white haired exorcist just smiled and passed her, walking down the Black Order's corridors like in any other day.
Blinking, the girl hesitated a bit before closing his friend's bedroom door and following.
"So Tiedoll used that to make Yuu pose for hours…. "– Lavi's happy voice could be heard in the whole cafeteria, dragging looks and laughs here and there.
"Baka Usague! Don't call me Yuu!" – Allen could head the Japanese complaining and risked a small peek. Kanda was sitting beside him but with his back to the table, elbows resting on the wooden surface. He had been staring somewhere in the cafeteria during the whole breakfast but now his neck was twisted so he could give Lavi a death glare.
The redhead stops talking, green eye slowly looking at the other side of the table. He shivers and looks away, a heavy silence falling upon the presents.
Allen hides his smile. When his friends would learn?
"This is stupid. "
"Che. It's a mission, what did you expect?" – beside him Kanda growls, just as pissed.
They were in a…well, the best words to describe would be a ghost town. Apparently after so many attacks and obviously lacking the money to rebuild people from this town had finally decided move was the best way to ensure a longer life. Unfortunately they also seem to have done it in a hurry, leaving the place a mess. Allen could recall at least half a dozen horror stories that could use such lame background.
Ironically the thing they were looking for was no other than a ghost.
They entered a house, finding it empty just like the others. Allen groaned in frustration.
"This is so stupid! Ghosts don't exist!"
At this Kanda stopped, dark eyebrow raised.
"You realize you can see ghosts, right?" – the samurai pointed out, clearly thinking his lover was insane. Or insaner.
"No, I see Akuma's souls. It's different."
"Really?" – Kanda still looked skeptical.
"Look, a soul is the principle of conscious life. It's like our heart, full of emotions and life, just not attached to the physical body." – gray eyes met cobalt and Allen raised his head a little higher, so the stubborn samurai would notice he was being serious – "A ghost is just something stupid created to keep children from entering dangerous places like abandoned houses and the like. "
"Hn. I have to say that didn't sound completely lame, Moyashi." – looking around so they could finish this already, Kanda started to walk to the next block of houses – "But I don't buy it. They are all dead, right? So they are all the same."
"Oh please! Don't tell me the bad ass Kanda Yuu believe in ghosts." – Allen teased as he followed. It was getting cold and he inched closer to his lover.
"No. I believe in stubborn people." – reaching out Kanda brought the smaller to his chest – "Especially in stubborn Moyashis. "
"Moyashi. Singular." – the white haired was quick to correct – "There's only one of me, BaKanda. "
"Che. Thank God to that."
"Hey!"
But before Allen could complain a finder approached, calling his name.
"Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas!"
"Merry Christmas!"
Allen sighed, seeing his friends celebrating the holyday. It was nice to see even with all the war and chaos they could still take a couple hours to pretend everything was fine.
Still he missed something.
"Happy Birthday."
The white haired boy smiled, feeling arms hug him from behind. It was a good thing everybody was distracted with Komui's poorly attempts to banish the traditional mistletoes spread over every entrance.
"Thank you." – turning on the embrace, Allen rested his head on the strong chest of his lover – "Present? "
"Che. Didn't I give you one already?"
"You're supposed to do it every year, you know?" – the younger chuckled, despite his best efforts to be serious. Not that he was demanding a present, far from that. Both knew it was the intention that counts – "Besides, today is also our anniversary. "
"One year, hun?" – Kanda smirked, his hug tightening – "Time flies. "
"It does." – Allen embraced the samurai as well, enjoying this moment to the fullest. One year may not look much but when you can die the very next day it definitely felt like a whole life of love – "But every time I look at you I wish time could stop forever."
"Baka Moyashi. Don't get all mushy over me now." – the older growled. The younger could almost feel the blue eyes rolling.
"Then give me my present." – raising his head, Allen gave his lover his tongue, not at all bothered about his bratty behavior. It was his birthday after all.
"Fine." – with a shock of his head Kanda finally consented – "My room. Top drawer."
"Top? Why top?" – Allen pouted. It's not that he was short, course not. It's just he has some…unfair disadvantages reaching that drawer.
But Kanda just shrugged.
"Didn't have time to move it."
Deciding the excuse didn't really matter Allen quickly checked and, seeing his friends still trying to calm a livid Komui (apparently Bak tried to kiss Lenalee or something) he gave Kanda a peek in the lips and run off.
Music was flowing effortlessly from the white piano, filling the room with calmness only an angel could provide. Usually this calmness would be just a façade, a disguise to hide the sadness and pain of the musician's heart but not today. Today the small musician was really calm and happy, just letting his fingers touch the keyboard and seeing what would come out.
The result was too much to be ever put in words.
Still that didn't mean Allen was ready to be praised.
"Did I ever told you how beautiful your songs are?"
The fingers slip, falling against the poor keys like a clumsy avalanche. The whole melody crashes, burning to ashes and leaving nothing but the untuned screams of the keys to die in the white room.
Staring at the floor the musician saw a person sitting there, back resting on the piano bench, eyes closed in bliss. Allen couldn't believe this was happening.
"What? "
"Kanda, are you feeling well?" – reaching out he touched the samurai's forehead, unsure if he should feel relieved or worried when he didn't feel any fever.
"Che. Can't I be nice once in a while?" – opening his eyes, Kanda stared straight into gray pools, eyebrow raised.
"If you make it once in an eternity. Otherwise I'm pretty sure the world will stop turning." – Allen pointed out, trying to decide if he should drag his lover to the medical wing. Sure this song was his gift to Kanda but to have it so openly admired…
"Baka Moyashi." – the samurai rose to sit on the bench as well – "I see you found my gift."
"I did." – looking down to the necklace he was wearing, the younger couldn't help but blush.
Once he finally managed to reach the top drawer of Kanda's wardrobe (and promptly fall on his butt on the process) he found a black sack. Inside was the most beautiful thing Allen had even seen: a pendant of a small yet carefully detailed silver snowflake, tied in a black, extremely soft piece of velvet that seemed oddly familiar. He could swear his lover had a hair band just like that.
However, no matter how beautiful his present, the white haired exorcist still had to ask.
"Why a snowflake?" – due the color of his hair 'snow' was the first thing people use to think when seeing him. To know Kanda thought the same was almost disappointing.
The older boy blushed. It was palpable the effort he was doing not to turn his head or look somewhere else.
"I heard the Usague saying every snowflake is unique." – the samurai finally admitted in a shy voice – "I'm not sure this is true but you are unique, Moyashi. At least to me."
Tears rolled down Allen's face and a shaken yet bright smile was formed. Before he had time to say anything though a finger was laid on his lips.
"Enough with the drama, Moyashi. Keep playing. "
And Allen did, the melody echoing on the white room once again. This time however it was even more happy and beautiful than before, the joyful cry of an innocent heart.
Especially after Kanda laid on the bench, eyes closed and head resting on Allen's lap.
Perfection.
The exorcists keep exiting the room, faces serious like never before. It would be a massive attack, a final and desperate attempt to bring the Earl down.
Allen was the last to leave the office, heart heavy in more ways than one. He closed the heavy door but found he couldn't give another step. Letting his body rest against the cold surface, gray eyes closed.
This is it. Last chance to save everybody. The Akuma, the Noah, the Black Order...It all ends now. One way or another.
But he couldn't do it. Not yet.
Opening his eyes, Allen realized someone was resting on the wall just beside him. A figure he knew all too well. That person wasn't called to the reunion, wasn't given a part of the mission or any orders but they both knew it didn't matter anymore.
"You…you don't have to came, you know." – the silver exorcist couldn't believe his own words but he keep on saying them anyway. He could never forgive himself if he didn't – "It's…this whole mission is…"
"Suicide. I know." – Kanda stared at him, cobalt eyes unwavering – "Wherever you go, Moyashi. "
Allen smiled. Not a full force, happy bubbly smile but a sad, resigned smile.
It doesn't matter how much his heart hurts, he was ready now.
The plan was doomed. They all knew that from the start. With the Akumas outnumbering them ten to one plus the remaining Noahs and the Earl, everyone could see the exorcists needed a miracle to win, let along survive.
Yet for some reason Allen was peaceful.
It could be the fact it would all end here. The fact that, even if he fails, he would finally be able to rest for the eternity. It could be the fact his dear friends would also rest, or the hope they could remain friends in the afterlife or whatever.
Or maybe it was just Kanda's presence.
"Left!" – the samurai warned and Allen raised his sword, just in time to block a level 4. Using the proximity, the small exorcist lashed out with all he had, cutting the damn creature in half and freeing its soul.
Allen was about to turn and thank his beloved when something moved on the corner of his eyes. It was too late to react, though. A huge Akuma slammed against him full force. Bracing himself (and knowing the ground was full of wreckage by now) he tried to be ready for the impact as much as anyone that had just taken a big hit could.
Only he didn't feel a thing.
Scratch that. Allen felt a thing. Two warm, protective things to be precise.
"Kanda?" – the white exorcist whispered, still a little dizzy. On the background he could hear someone screaming his name but he couldn't tell who. Maybe Lenalee?
"Baka Moyashi! Focus!" – releasing the other from the embrace, Kanda put his lover back on his feet – "I can't protect you forever!"
With a thankful nod Allen threw himself on the battle again, even more ferocious than before. He would end this now.
So Kanda would never have to worry again.
Never before had Allen felt so in tune with a person than he did with his beloved during that last battle.
It wasn't just the warnings, the way Kanda would scream to look left or right or even above. It wasn't the way he would touch his shoulder when Allen was dizzy, putting the tired pierrot in the right direction again. Heck! It wasn't even the way Kanda would help him grab Crown Clow every time the sword threatened to slip his grasp or how he would demand Allen to breath when his lungs started to fail and his heart hurt with every beat.
It was just the presence, the sensation someone was with you in each and every step of the way. Every move Allen made he felt the samurai was there, with him. It was like their bond had evolved, becoming even stronger than before.
Allen had no idea how Kanda managed to do this with all the chaos running loose around them but he couldn't care less. He knew he could never make it any other way.
And it paid off.
The fight against the Earl was hard. The harder the small exorcist ever had. But Kanda was there, keeping him together. He would whisper words, sweet words of encouragement and strength so close to his ear Allen would shiver despite the whole mess they were in.
'Hang on, Moyashi!'
'There's a flaw somewhere. We just have to find it.'
'Almost there! Don't you dare give up now!'
'You can do it, Moyashi!'
'Allen! Now!'
After those last words everything was light and Allen felt himself falling. He fell and fell, weightless like a leaf, floating softly until he touched the ground.
But Kanda was still there. Allen could feel it.
Just like he promised.
Smiling, the white exorcist finally allowed himself to relax. The war was over, the world was safe. He could take a nap.
Gray eyes opened to see a crystal clear sky. Blinking, Allen took a while to comprehend he wasn't hearing shouts and cries but the song of birds and the whisper of the wind.
"Took you long enough, Moyashi. "
Looking at his side, the small exorcist saw Kanda sitting on the ground, eyes lost somewhere in the sky above.
"We did it, hun?" – sitting up, Allen took a good look around. They were still in the remains of the battlefield but the whole atmosphere was a lot more peaceful, even with all the debris and blood.
"Che. Did you ever doubted, Moyashi?" – the samurai smirked, eyes moving to fall over his lover.
"Didn't you?" – the younger teased even if it was the truth. Somewhere along the way they all had doubted, losing faith in themselves and their beliefs. But that didn't stop them from trying with all their might, helping each other to rise again when the world screamed to let go.
Now, they had won.
"Guess this is our happy ending." – as on cue Allen could hear the others calling for him, their voices worried but with the unmistakable lightness only true happiness can bring – "Let's go."
But the moment the younger was back on his feet was the moment he felt a hand hold his arm.
"Kanda?"
"Don't go." – the samurai spoke in a low, tired voice, eyes hidden behind a black wall of hair.
Allen blinked, more than a little confused. Still he tried to ignore the cold sensation bubbling on the pit of his stomach.
"What do you mean don't go? Those are our friends. They are calling to us. "
"They are calling you, not me." – Kanda corrected, a little too harsh – "They haven't called me for a long time now."
"That's because you threatened to kill them all if they called you Yuu." – the younger pointed out, even if he knew that wasn't the reason. Still what other reason could be?
The samurai's silent 'no' was more than enough answer.
"They can't see me." – Kanda confessed, sounding more tired than Allen ever remember seeing him – "And now they can't see you."
"W-what do you mean?" – the coldness in his stomach had grown and now the white exorcist found himself struggling against blind panic. He twisted his arm, trying to break free but Kanda didn't relented – "Let go, Yuu! "Please! They're calling me!
"No." – the samurai finally got up, cobalt eyes meeting gray for the first time during the whole conversation – "It will only make you sad."
"What? Sad?" – Allen couldn't believe it. The hell was going on? – "Kanda, it's Lavi and Lenalee! Our friends!"
"It doesn't matter."
"Doesn't matter? Doesn't matter!" – the younger was getting angry now, although it was probably just a cover for the irrational fear he was feeling – "They are our friends! Of course they matter! Now let go of me!"
"No."
"Bastard! Stop being a jerk and let me go already!" – Allen couldn't tell when he formed his fist or when he drove it straight to Kanda's face. However, instead of snapping his lover out of it the small one felt like he was the one waking from a dream.
Because Kanda was fine. Not just the punch didn't make any damage but even after all the fighting the brunette was just fine, not a single scratch marking his pale skin. Even his clothes were impeccable.
But it was impossible.
Seeing the first signs of understanding shining shyly on the gray eyes the samurai pushed a little.
"Told you can see ghosts."
"No. It can't be. You…you were right there! All the time!" – Allen shakes his head, desperate to get rid of the thoughts. This couldn't be happening!
"Was I?" – Kanda approached, hugging the younger tight. It hurts so much to see his Moyashi like this but there was no other choice. It was better to tell him now than watch him trying to touch their friends or anyone else for that matter – "Think. When was the last time you saw me eating? Or sleeping? Or on a mission?"
"Stop!" – Allen tried to push the other away but his mind was spinning. Part of him screamed it was a big fat lie, that his beloved just couldn't die but the other part…a dark part was whispering Allen knew all along.
"Why would I let your present in the top drawer?" – Kanda's grip got painful. He was so tired of this and Moyashi's denial wasn't helping a bit! – "Fuck! How do you think I entered the Ark by my own?"
And that did it. Gray eyes wide, tears started to fall. But deep on those orbs the truth could be seen. The ugly, bloody truth Allen had fought so hard to forget.
"M-mission…five mo-months ago…" – the arms that once pushed away were now holding closer, just as painful as Kanda was holding him. On the back of both of their minds, memories of that cursed day played like a movie – "Tik-ky…"
"The wound was too much, even for me. I…"– a deep breath. God how it hurts! To remember his beloved face on those damn moments! Why couldn't he forget at least that? – "I couldn't heal in time."
"You protect-ed me." – a sharp intake of breath. Yes, Allen remembers now. Kanda throwing himself between him and Tikky, the Noah's hand going through his beloved chest, the blood…so much blood.
"Che. Like I would let him put his dirty hands on you." – the samurai growled possessively – "Besides, I got him back."
Allen couldn't help but chuckle, even if his cries made it sound like a strangled gasp. He still remembers Tikky incredulous look when Kanda swung Mugen for the last time, the blade catching the Noah straight on the neck.
"I also made a promise that day. I told you about it a week later when I finally manage to understand what happened and find you. "
The younger nodded. Now that he thought about it he remembers lock himself on his room for a long time. Even Lenalee couldn't convince him to get out. At least until he woke up one day to see Kanda sitting on the bed, staring at him with a sad smile.
"But how can I touch you?" – Allen tilted his head to the side, more than a little confuse – "I mean, before. No one else could right?"
"I'm not sure. Probably because you knew I was there." – the samurai mused – "Other than you the only one that noticed me was the baka Usague, and that was only when I was angry."
So that's why he shivered so much. – sweat dropping a little Allen took a deep breath before moving away, staring straight into cobalt eyes.
"Yuu, I need your help."
"Anything."
Lenalee didn't remember a time she felt so tired, or so happy. She wasn't really sure what exactly happened but the Earl was dead, along with the Noahs and Akumas. All the rest could be figured later, preferably when they were all rested and patched up.
All except one thing.
Because his friend was still missing.
That's why she was here, walking around the still warm battlefield, Lavi hot on her wheels instead of receiving medical treatment (or more medical treatment. She needed some stitches before starting her search, same for the redhead). Now if they could only find Allen before falling from exhaustion and blood loss that would officially make this the best day ever.
A hand on her shoulder made her turn around.
"Lena." – Lavi spoke in a soft voice, too soft to be just tiredness – "I think I found him."
Indeed, when Lenalee managed to focus her eyes on the direction his friend was pointing she could see a white spot between the wreckage.
"No." – she gasped before going there as fast as she could, not even hearing Lavi's desperate calls for other's help. She cursed herself when her legs refused to run and were almst giving up on walking all together but still she continued. By the time she reached the pile of wreckage she was already crying.
Still, not all the pain and tears of the world could prepare her for that sight.
Allen was laying just before the pile but not yet over it. His chest was facing the sky, the black vest and the dry blood helping to cover the lethal wound on it. His limbs were relaxed, hands open as if to finally let go. One of them at least. Allen's innocence arm was no more, the limb covered by the same coral-like structure that covers all the innocences one the wielder dies. The most shocking thing however was the boy's face. With the white hair spread like a halo, the face pale and untouched by all the blood and the soft, peaceful smile Allen Walker looked like a kid sleeping a blissful, well deserved sleep.
But no matter how beautiful the image was, that didn't change the fact that boy would never wake up.
Lenalee fell on her knees, covering her face with her hands as the mourning took over the remains of her heart.
That's the image Lavi found once he finally reached his Chinese friend. However, be it from experience in dealing with loses, his work as a Bookman or just dumb look, the green eye caught a detail Lenalee had missed so far.
All this time, he was with me. – Lavi read aloud – Now it's my turn to be with him. Please, don't be sad. I'm happy now.
Raising her tear marked face from her hands, Lenalee stared at the redhead before following his gaze, noticing the few words written in dry blood.
"He was with me… "– the girl echoed, mind trying to make sense of those parting words even if she could feel her heart lighter already – "Does it means?"
"We thought he was in denial but maybe Kanda was really there." – coming closer, Lavi took something from Allen's cold hand. The pendant Kanda brought for Allen during a mission in Russia.
The same pendant the samurai never had a chance to give.
"Maybe they fought together till the end. "
"Happy now, Moyashi?"
"Very." – Allen smiled, leaning on Kanda's embrace as they both watched their friend from afar – "They will be fine, won't they?"
"Don't worry. She will protect him. "
"Or Komui will kill Lavi." – the younger pointed out.
"Whatever. It's not our problem anymore." – the boys started to leave the battle ground or, more likely, Kanda dragged his Moyashi away.
"So?" – Allen smiled cutely.
"So what?" – Kanda raised an eyebrow. He knew that smile too well.
"Will you start calling me Allen now? "
"Che. In your dreams, Moyashi. "
Resting his head on Kanda's shoulder, gray eyes faced the horizon with a new hope.
"Yeah. World turning, all good."