Step One
Disclaimer: This is a purely fan-made piece that is using the world and characters from Masashi Kishimoto's Naruto and is made entirely for enjoyment. No financial gain has been made in the making of this piece
Summery: Kakashi has a plan
Author's Note: Written for Klepto. Possible out-of-characterness
Constructive Criticism is always welcomed
Published: 14 February 2008
Rating: T
Today was the day.
Today, Hatake Kakashi, the great Copy Ninja of Konohagekure, was going to make his move. He had waited and planned and plotted the best way to go about this, but he was fairly sure he had finally figured it out.
Today, he was going to make his move on Umino Iruka, the fiery Mission Room worker.
It was going to be good. The man officially fuelled more fantasies thanIcha Icha did now. Kakashi's eye took on a slightly glazed look as he stared at the page in front of him. Iruka would either be the type who would throw Kakashi down and take him so hard and long Kakashi wouldn't be able to walk straight for a week, or he'd be a bottom who'd be greedy, bossy, and loud, expecting Kakashi's performance to live up to his very high expectations.
Both were very, very, very appealing options.
And today, Kakashi planned to finally to take steps to find out which Iruka was.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Kakashi had that weird look on his face again. It had been happening a lot in the Mission Room recently and Iruka mentally made a note to drop a discrete comment into the proper channels to get Kakashi checked out. It couldn't be healthy for any of Konoha's ninjas to have such a distant and glassy expression on their face.
He also made a note to make sure that when he reported Kakashi's condition that he didn't do it in front of Ayama. The woman had a serious crush on the Copy Ninja and as far as she was concerned, he could do no wrong. She hadn't spoken to him for a week after his…vocal disagreement over Team 7's Chunin Exam nomination. Work that week had been a nightmare and Iruka learned to keep his mouth shut around her.
When Kakashi didn't come up to the desk and hand in his report and juststood there, glassy look pasted on his face, Iruka cleared his throat. He might have to be dropping that comment a lot sooner than he originally anticipated.
Kakashi was too good of a ninja to start, but the blue eye suddenly lost its faraway sheen at the noise. Casually, Kakashi tucked his bright book into his hip pouch and sauntered over. Ayama sat up straighter and Iruka saw her tug slightly on the bottom of her shirt so it would sink a little lower and show off more cleavage.
Kakashi didn't go over to her side and only handed Iruka his slightly rumpled report, fingers lightly brushing the back of Iruka's hand. "Mm, so, Iruka-sensei," he drawled lazily as the tan chunin looked over the report, "have any big plans for Valentine's Day?"
"No, of course not." Iruka wondered when the Copy Ninja had ever been interested in his daily schedules. It was a bit personal, even for small talk.
"I don't have a date or anything; can you believe it?" Ayama heaved a big sigh, leaning forwards on her elbows, making sure that there were as few things as possible blocking Kakashi's view of her from the waist up.
The lone blue flickered slightly over to her and Kakashi made a small non-committal noise. It suddenly clicked into place in Iruka's head; Kakashi only asked about him so Ayama could have a clear and easy in. It was about time the man noticed her interest.
Iruka glanced up and found himself looking Hatake Kakashi straight in the eye.
There was a short pause and then the eye crinkled. "Well, you should keep your options open."
Iruka had nothing to say to that, so he stamped the report. "Thank you for all your hard work." He managed to get out, angry at himself for blushing.
Kakashi waved lazily as he walked out the room. Ayama started to squeal the moment the door shut behind him. "Did you see that? Did you hear him?" She gushed joyously. "He told me to keep my options open!"
As Ayama generally made an annoying nuisance of herself, Iruka wondered why Kakashi felt it was necessary to take such a subtle route. Didn't he know that women liked it when men were direct? Maybe all of his 'underneath the underneath' mantras had officially addled his genius brain.
Maybe Kakashi was scared of rejection—but with Ayama, that was a silly fear. The woman worshipped the ground he walked on.
Iruka mentally shrugged, absently rubbing the spot that the jounin had touched earlier. It probably was a bad idea to try and figure out the Copy Ninja's motives or reasons; someone as famous and skilled as Kakashi must have his reasons for doing things the way that he did.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Kakashi thought—overall—that step one had been a success.
xXxXxXxXxXx
"That was your big move." Pakkun stared at him. "That was it. A lousy 'keep your options open'?"
"It wasn't lousy," Kakashi said, a bit stung. "Iruka-sensei's a good ninja; he'll look underneath the underneath and he'll know."
"And how is this supposed to translate to 'meet me at eight on Valentine's Day so I can buy you dinner and then get into your pants'?" The dog demanded, eyes narrow.
"That's not what it means!" Kakashi hoped he sounded as righteously indignant as he felt. "It meant that he should expect me—another man—to ask him out and this way, it won't be out of blue. He'll have some time digest and anticipate my proposition before I officially make it."
Pakkun shook his head. "You're going to get certified by Ibiki-san before that point. This is proof you haven't taken any of your vacations in the last ten years. You don't even know how to ask someone out properly any more! Wait, I don't think you even know how to in the first point, an even bigger indicator that you don't get away from work enough!"
"I do too!" Kakashi bristled. "And I'm not having this conversation with you! You're a dog! Your idea of courtship is to sniff and lick their butts and then to climb on their back and hump them!"
"Sad that I'm better at this stuff than you are, isn't it?" The pug shot back.
Kakashi decided that this argument was over and promptly dispelled the ninkin.
xXxXxXxXxXx
Iruka found Ayama crying in the file room the next day. It took him a little bit, but he eventually got the entire story hiccupped out. Feeling righteously angry on her behalf, he stormed off to find that rotten and assholish copy ninja the moment his shift ended.
Famous or no, it didn't give him the right to string people along like that.
xXxXxXxXxXx
"Kakashi-san."
Kakashi blinked and looked down to see Iruka standing below him, angry clearly radiating off of him.
DAMN Iruka looked hot.
"Hello, Iruka-sensei!" Kakashi smiled as cheerfully as he could and prayed to the gods above that he didn't leer or appear too lecherous. He carefully dropped off of the branch he had been doing curl ups on, hoping that Iruka didn't mind the smell of sweat and dirt. "How may I be of service to you?" And how can I service you?
Iruka glared at him. "What kind of sick and twisted game are you playing with Ayama-san?" He snapped.
The jounin blinked. Who the hell was…oh, right. One of the other mission room chunins. The annoying one. "I'm not playing any games with her." But if you want to play, I'll be there in a heartbeat!
"Not playing…" The chunin twitched. "You've strung her along formonths now and when she finally gets up the nerve to ask you out, you turn her down?! Forgive me for not seeing how that's not a game!"
Kakashi felt taken aback. "I haven't been stringing her along. I didn't even know she was interested in me until she asked me out this afternoon. I thought I told her that I wasn't interested in her in a very nice way." He explained as fast as he could; he absolutely could not lose Iruka's interest because some stupid tart had the hots for him and was feeling slighted because Kakashi didn't return the attraction. Now, if we were talking about returning…'attractions' with Iruka…
"What kind of ninja are you?!" Iruka exploded. "How can you not have noticed her attraction to you? She makes a six-year-old look subtle! And you didn't help! For someone who's claiming not to be stringing her along, you certainly had everyone fooled! You showed up for just about everyone of her shifts in the Mission Room—and I should know, I worked most of them with her!—you constantly dropped little flirty comments, and then to do that whole thing about 'keeping your options open' and not expecting her to respond is just plain stupidity!"
Mmm, angry Iruka using Big, Bad Teacher Voice…
Kakashi jerked his mind away from that thought. "It might be considered stringing her along, but you've overlooked some important things that I can point out that proves I'm not." I can show you the most important one right now, if you want!
"Oh? Pray, do enlighten me!"
I'll light you, light you up like a—
Kakashi stomped on the thought before he could start to drool. "I didn't show up for her shifts. She just happened to be there." Want me to 'happen to be there' in your pants, Sensei
"Don't give me that crap! You've been showing up…during…my…"
Kakashi could pinpoint the exact moment that Iruka began to put things together correctly. The big brown eyes stared at him, wide and shocked.
"I…you…that is…I mean…you…" Iruka was ridiculously adorable as he verbally flailed.
Kakashi decided now was as good a time as any. "Iruka-sensei, would you like to join me for dinner on Valentine's Day?" And maybe some extra-credit work afterwards?
Iruka opened and closed his mouth a few times. "Is this a joke?" He finally asked, clearly knowing that it wasn't, but still desperately hoping that it was.
Kakashi took a careful step forwards. "I would think, that after five months, you know that I wouldn't joke about this." Sex with you is WAY too high on my 'To Do' list to make a joke about it
A surge of fuzzy hope shot through Kakashi when he saw a hint of interested attraction in those sweet eyes. He hadn't completely screwed things up! Now, if only some real screwing could happen…
"But what about Ayama-san?" Iruka finally said, not moving as Kakashi took another step forwards.
"Set her up with someone else." Kakashi slowly pulled Iruka's deliciously hard body towards him. "If she had been paying even the slightest amount of attention, she would have noticed that I only talked to you and only handed in my reports to you."
"I haven't said that I would go out with you yet," Iruka mumbled a few moments later, arms casually falling on the jounin's shoulders.
"You should." We both agree it will be…'fun'
"What's in it for me?"
Kakashi felt his brain break with the possible answers.
It wasn't until Iruka started laughing that he snapped back to reality.
"Would you like a little…demonstration?" He leered. One on one and maybe even two on one!
"I don't know. Will it be worth an angry and hurt co-worker?"
Kakashi's lecherous grin got bigger. "Well, let's go find out now, shall we?" He smirked and teleported them to his room.
xXxXxXxXxXx
"Yes."
"Hmm?" Kakashi craned his head slightly.
"Yes, I'll join you for dinner."
Kakashi felt a stupid grin cover his face. It was even better than he had thought because now he knew which one Iruka was.
Mission: Success
x Fin x