Seven months. It's been seven months since the best fighter pilot was expelled for disciplinary issues. Seven months since Lance became fighter pilot. Seven months since his life became a bit duller. Lance himself was still bursting with life, but it hasn't been the same. Seven months of pushing aside the thoughts of him. But, alas, thoughts can only be pushed to the side for so long before they pile up and become much more than just a few thoughts.
Lance stares up into the seemingly endless void hanging over him as he tries to sleep. Thoughts swirl around his head. His pain refuses to quiet down. Anxiety pokes his sides along with Self Doubt and Loss. Regret speaks to him about what he can't change and Loneliness lays silently next to him, and damn, is this silence deafening, almost like they're trying to see if there's a way to silence someone into death.
Lance sighs deeply and sits up. As quietly as humanly possible, Lance puts on some shoes and grabs his jacket without waking his snoring friend. He slowly closes the door and sneaks throughout the empty, silent halls of Garrison. Lance eventually finds his way up to the roof. He walks out into the darkness illuminated by the moon and stars. All around the academy, nothing but empty desert and canyons. Lance walks over to the railing and leans against it.
He looks up at the sky dotted with constellations then out to the horizon where the sky and land touch.
"Hey there, Keith, what's it like expelled from Garrison?"
Lance receives only the quiet humming of the academy's generators and the small noises of the night.
"Hey there Keith, it's been a long time since I've seen you, but I know you're kicking ass and being cool at whatever it was that was so much more important to you then being our generation's top fighter pilot. I'm sure better than this place, right? A change of pace."
The stars seem to continue dimming and brightening.
"Hey there, Keith, do you ever think about me like how I keep thinking about you? I know we have our differences, but you made this place interesting. With my favourite rival gone, I feel lonely. Yeah, I have Hunk, my best friend who is one hell of a cook, and Pidge, who just finished building their own computer from nothing but scraps that they found down in the garbage shoot, don't tell anyone, but I was the one who helped retrieve said tech scraps, but, nothing is the same here since you left, Keith."
Lance looks out to the horizon for any sign of movement.
Lance sighs shakily. "I actually miss you and your stupid mullet." He snickers to himself. "Like, Keith, buddy. Mullets are so 1980's. But, damn, I think you look good with long hair. I will admit, you are one of the few people who can pull it off, and don't you dare tell anyone I said that, Mullet."
A breeze flows through the midnight air. Lance shivers and continues.
"Hey there, Keith, I really miss you. I miss our rivalry. It was interesting. Even though I was extremely jealous of your ace piloting skills, you pushed me to do better. You were just so amazing. I wanted to show you that maybe I could be great too. Hey, maybe it's just me, and it probably is, but more than once, I had thought you looked at me with maybe hope after landing the hover crafts during all the field training tests. Like, as if you were looking for my approval. And at the time, of course I didn't notice because I was too busy going on about what a show off you are. Heh heh."
A few moments of lonely silence pass. "Hey there, Keith, I know there's no way you'll hear me, but I'll always talk to you because it makes me feel like you're near me, though you're not… not like you ever cared about me… Hey there, Keith, why'd you always look right through me. I know I'm not good at stuff. Like I know I'll never be a good pilot, Iverson knows it too, he won't let me forget. I know I'll never be as cool as you. I know I'm not good at anything, really. I remember trying to initiate conversation with you and all you would do is glare and walk away. I remember that's what happened the first three times you and I interacted. After the first time, I got kind of angry, and decided you would be my rival. We really were neck and neck, but you were always just within arms reach, yet too far head for me to actually beat you. Aside from your coolness and your kickass piloting skills, no one knew shit about you except for some of the older students that said you were Shiro's younger brother. You're such a mystery. I made it my personal mission to find out more about the brooding mystery that is you. Now I can't. I miss my mystery. I miss my stupid mystery. I miss our stupid rivalry. I miss your stupid mullet. I miss your glare. I miss your stupid brooding. I miss our exchanging of stares while the other wasn't paying attention. I miss your stupid dark violet eyes. I miss your stupid freckles. I miss you. It's stupid, I know. I know I'm not the sharpest tool in the shed and that I probably over think things and try to make things out of nothing, but all that I know is that I miss you. And it's stupid, I know. I'm stupid."
Silence takes its space for a long while. A few tears have made their way down the Cuban's face.
"Hey there, Keith, there's something….not right here. Like there's something terribly wrong. Like, this feeling has alway been here, but it's only grown since you left. It feels weird here in the Garrison. I feel stuck here. I think there's something not quite right, but you knew that didn't you? And they knew that you were clever and they took care of that, how cruel. Please come back soon."
A star shoots across the sky.
"Hey there, Keith, you're isolated out there, probably lost and alone. I wish you'd just come back. Maybe they'll take you back if you apologize. I wish you'd come back so I could make you not feel alone. Or maybe It's just me."
Lance chokes down a few sobs. He tries his best to wipe away his tears and clear his vision. His sight is blurring together through his tears.
"Hey there, Keith, my thoughts are everywhere and it's all because of you, you're gone and now I've made it in your place. All my friends, they all will joke with me and I'll just laugh along but I can't stop thinking of your glaring face. God. Keith, all those things I had said to you when you actually gave me your attention, I can promise you none of it was true, and now I'll never get to tell you. You left and I'm stuck here."
Lance just leans against the railing as he sinks down, crying as silent sobs wrack his body. He sits and tries to look at the stars with blurry eyes. He's letting months of pent up emotions and pushed aside thoughts out and, damn, it hurts like hell.
"H-Hey th-there, Kei-Keith." Lance breathes in shakily. "I-...I miss you."