Disclaimer: Crisis Core is Square Enix's.

A Moment of Courtesy

"Why me?" Cloud muttered as he stared at the glossy envelope with the words Shin-Ra Agency under his door.

Sure, he auditioned for the part but he wasn't actually expecting to get it!

Hesitantly, Cloud reached for his phone and speed-dialed Zack.

" 'Sup, Spike?"

"Zack, I… I got the part." Cloud sighed.

"That's great!" There was a pause. "What part?"

Cloud sighed even louder.

–––––

Hours later, the two ACTORs met up in Seventh Heaven to discuss Cloud's predicament over a few shots.

A feeew shots.

Unfortunately, the phrase a few shots didn't exist in Zack's vocabulary, not that he even had one, though.

It wasn't midnight yet but they were already completely wasted.

"Y'know, Zack, it's not like I dun' like 'im," Cloud slurred. "I actually love 'ephiroth, y'know?"

Instantly, Zack sobered up. Then he choked on his drink.

"You WHAT?"

That was drunk talk… wasn't it?

"I looove Sephiroth! (hiccup) I'mma marry 'im som'day (hiccup) and we'll start a family!"

Zack gaped.

Oookay, so his bestfriend, the love of his life, wanted to marry one of his friends and start a family of their own. That's. Just. Great.

And to think that he wanted to introduce Sephiroth to Cloud! So. Not. Happening.

The sound of Cloud dry-heaving brought him back to his senses but before he knew it, the barmaid had thrown them out.

Zack had to carry Cloud all the way back to the Shin-Ra building. He didn't mind, though. The blond was light and he used the time to ponder the things Cloud confessed to him.

Zack's mind had barely enough time to register the Shin-Ra building entering his line of sight when, all of a sudden, Cloud leapt off his back and dashed (Dash Materia be damned) to the nearest potted plant. He clutched the pot with his hands and threw his head down so violently Zack was surprised his face didn't get buried in the soil.

And then he vomited.

Zack rubbed soothing circles on his friend's back, not noticing when the Shin-Ra building doors opened and out stepped Sephiroth.

The 1st Class ACTOR, often referred to as General in recognition of his prowess, crossed the street and stood behind Zack.

"Angeal has been looking for you, Zack," Sephiroth declared, frightening Zack out of his skin because it was around midnight, damnit, causing the latter to yank Cloud back by his shirt.

The back of Cloud's head met the pavement and he groaned in joy.

"Whoa, Cloud, buddy. Sorry," Zack helped the blond up, deciding that the best course of action right now would be to get the intoxicated Cloud the hell outta here and awaaay from Sephiroth.

The General's eyes fell upon the familiar golden locks and blue eyes. Zack followed his catlike gaze and realized that, to his horror, Sephiroth was staring at Cloud.

"This is Cloud," he explained, motioning to the unmoving lump in his arms "my bestfriend."

Take that, Sephiroth!

He wishes it was something more, though.

"I know. 3rd Class Cloud Strife. He is my partner for my next project." Sephiroth almost looked… smug.

Zack winced inwardly. Rub it in my face, will ya?

"I'll, uh, be taking Cloud back to my apartment now." Zack made a move to bridal style-carry the blond. "See ya, Sephiroth."

The blond, however, had other plans.

At the mention of his idol's name, Cloud pushed himself away from Zack and sashayed towards Sephiroth, still very much drunk.

How he managed to stay smelling pleasant even after just throwing up, Zack was dying to know.

"C-Cloud?" Zack swallowed nervously.

Oh no.

"Cloud," he tried again, louder this time.

Hell no.

Zack made a mad grab for Cloud but the blond shoved him away. Zack landed on his butt.

Gaia above no.

Cloud stopped in front of the General, his hair and clothes disheveled as he swayed slightly.

And then he righted himself and in all seriousness said to Sephiroth,

"Sephiroth, I'm Cloud. I love you. I want to have your babies."

A Moment of Courtesy

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