Marian has an epiphany after agreeing to be Gisbournes' wife. RM.
Disclaimer: I don't own Robin Hood the BBC does. And that fact totally concretes my decision to move to England. :o).
AN: This is a Marian POV for right after that heartbreaking scene in Episode 7. I cried. You cried. We all cried lets not be ashamed of it and just wallow in the angst.
The Truth to Hate
"I hate Robin Hood."
They were four very simple words. Words she said to keep Gisbourne from hurting her, hurting her father. The choice was simple. So were the words. So why was her heart burning so painfully? Her eyes kept blurring with pushed down tears and her throat was closing so tightly it was all she could do to keep sucking down air much less talk. I. Hate. Robin. Hood.
So she let Gisbourne tell her father of their engagement. Watched as he apologized for the slap, which, as Gisbourne explained away, was not so uncalled for and really what were a few harsh words between soon to be family. And as her future husband happily talked of the future she could feel Edwards eyes piercing her cheek, saw as he distracted Guy with a passing mare as a cold tear slipped down her cheek. Everything seemed cold at the moment.
I hate Robin Hood. How was it that four was so different than three?
She had said it before. I hate Robin. Said it so long ago to a mother she barely remembered. I hate Robin. He had pushed her down while they were playing, always so careless. He had wanted to go hunting with his father and upset at being left behind had taken his pain out on her. So she had cried. And said it. Those words.
Later on she had said it too her nanny. Hardly a nanny but still someone to take care of her while her father ran Nottingham. Ran away from her and the memory of the mother she resembled. The girl was only a few years older but still seemed at the time—at least to Marian. I hate Robin.This time she had caught him kissing Sara from Nettlestone during May Day. May Day! As if Sara would be more pleasant than her to kiss and go a-maying with. That time she had yelled it.
The third time had been after he had told her he was going to the Crusades. Going to be a man. Or become one or any such stupid idea. As if leaving for glory and a land hundreds of miles away would make him anything other than gone. She had yelled it right to his face that time. With real hate in her voice and tears in her eyes and a ring that would soon mean nothing on her finger. A ring that would be off her finger by the time that fight was over. I hate you.
Once she had whispered it to herself. I hate Robin. Said it while she lay in bed after her first adventure as the Nightwatchman. Her back ached from carrying the loaves she had delivered and she didn't know why she said it. Because he was gone and if he hadn't it would be him? Him out in the woods avoiding outlaws and traveling, each venture between towns a chance to be caught? Or maybe she said it because if he had been there she could have gone with him, instead of alone. But that time she couldn't say it loud so her tone didn't quite match her words. That's what she told herself anyway.
This time was different. This time there were four words and that made it different. That was all. Just that extra word. Because while the words were meant for Guy of Gisbourne they were told to Robin of Locksley. So she smiled faintly at Gisbourne and listened as Robin's boots scramble down the roof. The tears in her eyes echoed the ones she had seen on Robins face and she didn't care, even as her father gestured at her frantically to wipe them. She knew why the words were different this time. She had always intended for the words to be the truth in the past. This time—they were a lie. "I hate Robin Hood."
I love Robin Hood.
AN: I love Robin Hood too! For like forever. So please, please tell me what you think about this fic. Please review!