I picked up and hung up the phone three times before I actually went through with it. When Seth answered I was relieved and feeling very guilty at the same time. "Hi Seth, it's Bella. I was wondering if you could do me a huge favor?"

Seth laughed "Sure Bella, what do you need, oh wait let me guess, you want me to track Jacob?!"

"Well actually Seth, I was wondering if you could pass him a message from me? Please don't judge me, but I really need to see him. Could you tell him that. Could you tell him I am getting married in 2 days and I need to see him before then. I know it is selfish of me, but trust me Seth I am not doing this to hurt him."

"I don't know Bella, he is not the same kid. He has made it perfectly clear that he doesn't want to come back."

"Please Seth , I am begging you."

"Alright Bella, but I am going to be raked over the coals for this you know. They are going to be really mad at me. Oh well they'll get over it."

"Seth, Thank you, thank you, thank you. I owe you big time."

"I'll go now and get it over with, talk to you soon Bella."

I sat there at the kitchen table shaking. What was I doing? What was I thinking, Jacob will never be able to look at me again, no matter how much he loves me. I am so glad Edward and his family are hunting this weekend, I don't think I could look them in the eyes.

In my past experiences with Jacob, he was always been right there when I needed him, I can't get used to the fact he may never be there for me again. I can't get him out of my head, he consumes my dreams and my thoughts everyday all day. Thank Goodness it is late enough to go to bed, that way I don't have to be fully responsible for my thoughts. I looked out my window for a little bit before I settled into bed. I caught myself squinting and searching for that giant shape of Jacob. Of course I didn't see it, no matter how hard I tried, it wasn't out there.

I climbed into bed and gradually started to nod off. As I thought about Jacob, it was amazing how his woodsy smell filled my senses. I loved that smell as much as Edward hated it. I breathed deep to fill myself up with Jacob, again and again, I breathed My Jacob, sending me into dreamland, where we were together again.

As I relax into my dream of Jacob, it amazes me how it seems so real. Him holding me close as the heat from his body warms me, a warmth I haven't been able to find in months. The feeling of eternal sunshine that runs through my body, as sweet as honey, automatically brings a smile to my face. I can't stop smiling when we are like this. So close in everyway. We are walking through the trees, he is carrying me and I am clinging to him, my face is nestled into his neck breathing him in. I whisper "My Jacob", he sighs "My Bella" . He strokes the back of my hair and then gently tangles his fingers into it. He pulls my face away from his neck, so we are eye to eye. He leans down and brushes his lips on mine. Only in my dreams do I let myself, only in my dreams do I stop resisting.

I brush my lips on his, his body relaxes as he feels me giving him permission. He starts slowly kissing me, it's not like before where he forced it on me. It's now very tender, his skin burning my body, his breath burning my mouth. His gentleness begins to slowly turn into passion as his hands roam my body, leaving finger scorches on my skin where he touches, it makes me feel alive. Before I realize it, he is laying over me on the forest floor. He is exploring every inch of me and I am exploring every inch of him. Kissing and touching and doing all the things I want to do in real life, I let myself go.

As he kisses my neck I am telling him how much I love him. How much I want him to keep me warm forever. I tell him I have made a huge mistake and that I want him, forever. He kisses me harder and I can feel how much he wants me. Do I let it go that far? It is a dream! So I tell him to take me. "Are you sure Bella? You can't turn back once we do this. There is no redo, it will always be. You can't give this to anyone else." I have never experienced so much dialog in my dreams, this is kind of weird. As much as I want to do this, I am now freaked out that my dream Jacob is questioning my decisions.

I try to wake myself, but Jacob is staring down at me with fire in his eyes. Its so hard to let go of this feeling. I try again, but my eyes are already open and Jacob is still there. I shake my head a few times and look again, Jacob is staring at me like I have two heads. "What's wrong Bella?" Jacob asks me, concerned. Then I realize, I am not dreaming. He is really here.

The warmth, the smell, the passion, its all here and real. I jump into Jacobs arms and kiss him with as much love as I can expel. "You're really here and I really want you to be the one. Please don't ever leave me again, Jacob. Take me away, take me far away from here and keep me forever." I whispered in between breaths as I kissed him.

Jacob scooped me up and started running. He ran so fast and far I was suddenly surrounded by unrecognizable scenery. He brought me to his camp. The camp he had been living at since he left forks. He brought me into his shelter, a cave in the mountainside, and lay me on his

homemade version of a bed. "I can't believe you chose me Bella, I thought I lost you forever. I promise to love you, keep you, and protect you forever, you are all I want and all I will ever need. Thank you." Jacob was breathless as he finished, tears were streaming down both of our faces, tears of happiness, of joy. "I want you, Jacob. Please take me now, no turning back."

Jacob's hands were shaking as he started to undress me……