Disclaimer. I own nothing! I do not own the Twilight series, or The song "I write sons not Tragedies" by Panic at the Disco
(Mental note: The legally changed their name so that there was no !)
This story was inspired by two things, me hearing the song, and S.M. telling the, oh just huge, B.D. spoiler. Edward and Bella get married. OH?! Really?! I never would have guessed since he proposed, and then she was all engaged and everything. So I just got bored, and wanted to write this. Weird one shot. T for the cursing in the song.
I Write Sins Not Tragedies (A Twilight Song-fic)
EPOV
"Oh,
well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I
can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of
words."
I was walking up and down the corridors of the church as Bella changed into her outfit for the honeymoon. And out of the blue I heard a conversation coming from some open doors. I walked over to them and was about to walk in, but I heard Jessica and Lauren talking. Alice had forced Bella to make Jessica a bridesmaid saying that she should have more people from school, so Jessica Stanly and Angela Webber had stood up there next to Alice and Rosalie as we said our vows. As for Lauren, well she needed a job, and Alice so sweetly gave her a watering job.
"What
a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a
bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a
shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
I stopped because I heard Jessica complementing the wedding.
"What a gorgeous wedding! Such beautiful decorations!" Jessica said.
"Yeah, it was, but isn't a shame that gorgeous Edward's bride is such a whore?"
"Yes it is. I heard that she and that Jacob Black from La Push hooked up when Edward was gone."
"Well,
I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing
the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these
kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime
in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn
door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
with a sense of..."
I was about to walk though the door and say the words that I was thinking which were, "Didn't you people ever think of closing this God d door?!" No! I thought. It's much better to handle these things with a sense of poise, and rationality
But instead Edward later got Alice and Rosalie to "take care of the problem" and a week later Jessica and Lauren returned to school, with many injures including, a broken arm, a broken leg, a fractured hip, and split lips. Along with many bumps and bruises
And everyone, except for Jessica, Lauren and Mike, lived happily ever after!
THE END!
Well, what did you think?! I couldn't figure how to end it along with the song, so I just went with the ending I liked.
I was really bored by the way.
Review! Thanks!!
Credits:
Edward Cullen as himself
Jessica Stanley as herself
Lauren (Don't remember her last name) as herself
Alice Cullen as herself
Rosalie Hale as herself
"Oh,
well imagine; as I'm pacing the pews in a church corridor,
and I
can't help but to hear, no I can't help but to hear an exchanging of
words."
"What
a beautiful wedding!, What a beautiful wedding!" says a
bridesmaid to a waiter.
"Oh yes, but what a shame, what a
shame, the poor groom's bride is a whore."
"Well, I'd chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard
of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face
these kinds of things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd
chime in "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn
door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things
with a sense of..."
"Oh,
well in fact, well I'll look at it this way, I mean technically our
marriage is saved I'd
chime in with a "Haven't you people ever heard of closing the
god damn door?!" Again... I'd chime in
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!" Again..."
Well this calls for, a toast so, pour the
champagne,
Oh! Well in fact, well I'll look at it this way,
I
mean technically our marriage is saved
Well this calls for a
toast, so pour the champagne, pour the champagne...(dun dunnnn)
No, it's much better to face these kinds of
things with a sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in with a
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's much better to face these kinds of things with a sense
of poise and rationality...
No.
It's much better to face these kinds of things with a
sense of poise and rationality.
I'd chime in "Haven't you
people ever heard of closing the god damn door?!"
No, it's
much better to face these kinds of things with a sense of poise and
rationality.