The others don't know what it's like. They have no idea how it is to spend every minute of every day with your mind crushed by layers of monochrome hissing, with the words you never needed to hear swirling amidst the ceaseless rush. They will never know. No one will ever know.

I splayed myself across the hard cot, not caring to remove clothes or shoes. Who cared? Why bother? The snarl of thoughts and snaketongue roiled through my skull. Did it have to be like this?

"Stop that," Emily whispered, slick scales rippling around my neck.

"Stop what?" I spat back at her.

"You know what. Stop being so angsty." She coiled down my shoulder, rough and cold as hard-packed snow, and came to rest wrapped around my forearm.

"What, so it's my fault I'm a goddamned freak?" I growled, forgetting to be quiet.

"I'm not saying that," Emily said soothingly, pulling herself tighter around my wrist.

"Like hell you aren't," I muttered. I sat up and pulled my knees in to my chest, ignoring the solid weight of her on one hand. She writhed against my skin, head twitching back and forth across my knuckles. "I wish I could just leave."

"You know you can't do that." She bit my thumb lightly, not quite enough to draw blood. "Calm down. Would you rather be where you were before?"

"At this point, yes!" I cried, losing all semblance of decency. "At least they said it to my face! At least they didn't sneak around behind my back and think I didn't know! At least–" She cut me off with a snarl.

"I said calm down. Who called you a freak?"

"I don't know. One of the second-tier members. I never bothered to learn their names. They're all scared of me anyways." I flopped back down, eyes burning.

"Go tell Joker. He'll deal with it."

"How much of a coward would I look then? 'Oh, Mama, someone called me a bad name!' As if."

"Well, are you doing any good sitting here sulking?"

"Just leave me alone, would you?" I yelled, flinging her off my arm and across the room. She thumped into the curtain wall, slid to the dirt-packed floor, and slithered off with an affronted hiss. I stood up, disregarding the serpents flooding away from my feet as I stalked outside.

Scents filled the camp. Rain dampening the misty air, trampled grass, musty canvas, thick waxy makeup, Beast's heavy spice perfume, her tigers, Doll's roses. I wrinkled my nose at the onslaught and hurried outside the camp, where all I could smell was rain and wind and leaves.

Cold afternoon sunlight sliced through the light fog, affording me a good view through the dense forest. I scrambled my way up a tree, perching on one of the low branches with all my limbs wrapped around the rippled bark. I pressed my cheek to the wood, eyes stinging. Just from the cold, I told myself. A puddle had formed below me in last night's downpour, and its mirrored surface afforded me all too good a view of my face. Jade scales tattooed my cheekbones and eyes in unsightly, haphazard blotches that extended all the way down into the neckline of my shirt. I looked like a victim of some comical sort of pox.

I ran a hand roughly over my face, momentarily obscuring the spectre that stared back at me from ten feet below. Why was it like this? Couldn't I be, well, normal? I took that thought back almost immediately. Normal would mean I had to leave the circus.

An interruption in the commotion of noise running through my head stopped my thoughts for an instant. A more familiar voice rang out above the mutterings of the forest's scaled denizens.

"Wilde?" I called, voice cracking.

"Yes," came the gruff response.

"How did you find me?"

"Humans leave scents. You of all people ought to know that."

"Don't remind me," I said, keeping my voice deliberately low.

"I apologize, but that was only a minor reason. I know how you think. We're kin, after all. What did Emily do to you, that you would do that to her?"

"Is she alright?" I asked, suddenly concerned that I'd done more than irritate her.

"Sulking in a corner. Uninjured, if that's your worry." I relaxed.

"It was. Why did you come find me?"

"Is unease regarding your tantrum not a good enough reason?" I remained silent. "Joker just got back. There's been a big uproar. I assumed you'd want to hear about it."

"What's going on?" I finally managed to pinpoint Wilde's dusky silhouette at the base of my tree, and began manoeuvring my way down towards it.

"I don't know exactly. I heard," he paused dramatically, and I could almost feel the smugness in his voice. I resolved not to give in. "I heard that there might be someone new joining."

At that moment, I lost my grip on a patch of wet bark and plummeted the three yards straight into a puddle, fracturing my offending reflection into a million glassy shards. I struggled to my feet, not caring that I was thoroughly drenched and the white stripes on my shirt had turned murky mud-brown. "What?"

"You heard me." If snakes could preen, Wilde was.

I forgot my resolution almost immediately and sprinted to follow the winding serpent through short grass back to the camp. The clamour was audible from far away. Once I got closer, I began picking out words from it. Joker's usually deep voice was going thin with shouting for quiet, which was apparently not very successful. The general bedlam continued despite his and, I could now hear, Dagger and Beast's protesting. I wondered why such pandemonium. The arrival of a new performer, though it had never happened after my own appearance, did not seem a cause for this amount of disorder. I certainly did not remember it from my joining.

I thought ahead far enough to duck into my tent before facing everyone in my state of general disrepair. My only other clothes were a plain, loose white shirt and black trousers, not nearly as dramatic as the striped performance costume I wore then. It would have to do. I slipped the baggy clothes on, glad that they covered more of my scales.

Critically, I examined myself in the mirror. Mud caked all my visible skin. I rubbed it off as best I could, and turned away, unable to face the gemstone green patterning my face for more than a few moments. I stooped to collect a dozen of my snakes, raising my arms to allow them to conceal themselves in my clothes. "Emily?" I called softly.

"What do you want?" she said sullenly.

"Come meet the new kid with me. Please?"

"Why should I?"

"You and Wilde and Webster and the others are always with me. Whoever the new kid is, they should meet you all. And I mean all, including you. Come on." She dangled limply from my fingers as I picked her up and curled her around my neck with Wilde.

"Fine," she grumbled, settling into the hollow between my collarbones. I pushed the makeshift fabric doors out of my way and stepped out, blinking in the sudden, rainy brightness. A crowd had gathered down to my left. I walked towards it, suddenly nervous.

Dagger was first to notice me. He grinned, making the ever-present dots under his eyes crinkle into tiny crescent moons. "Hey, Snake! Come meet the new girl!"

Girl? I thought, growing more anxious by the minute. The girls in our audiences were frightened by me, screamed if I came to close to the edge of the ring. I hoped this one wouldn't be the same. I couldn't stand any more of that.

Just then, I reached the edge of the group. The outside second-tier performers flinched away from me, leaving a path that closed together in back of me. Stuck behind Freckles, who refused to budge, I peered over her shoulder.

At first all I could make out was Joker, Dagger, and Beast in the centre of the cluster, huddled protectively around someone else. They'd given up yelling and were simply standing there, waiting for the others to calm down. I looked closer at the small figure hunched in between them.

The noise eventually died down around me, leaving a ghastly sort of silence. Finally, the tiny presence in the middle of the circle looked up, eyes wide.

"Alright, then, everyone, could I ask you to leave now? No, Emma, that was not a question. We have a performance tonight. Go practice. Jumbo, Wendy, Peter, keep an eye on them," Joker ordered, back to the crowd. I turned to leave with the second-tier members. First-tier I might be, but no one wanted me around. "No, Snake, stay here," said Joker, still facing away from me. "Rachel, you need to meet the circus."

"Are they gone?" came a weak voice.

"Yes. Now, come on," Dagger answered. He knelt down, and stood back up with the form of a child limp in his arms. She looked up, but did not meet anyone's eyes. "This is Rachel. She's joining us." I realized why the girl had never stood up. One of her legs, like Beast's, was missing all the way to the hip, as was one of her arms. Instead of drawing away in disgust, our circle moved in closer. "Welcome to the Noah's Ark Circus. Everyone, introduce yourselves to Rachel."

I hid myself shyly behind Doll, not wanting to be seen. Introductions drifted around the circle, finally coming to Doll and I. "I'm Doll, but mostly I go by Freckles. I walk tightrope. This is Snake." I shrank back. "He's the snake charmer, and he's actually half snake." Only Doll could sound excited by that, I thought.

There was a faint gasp from Rachel. I removed myself from behind Doll, braced for a scream. Her only response was a curious, "Does it talk?"

Action stormed around me. Emily and Wilde lashed out of my sleeves, giving me barely a moment to restrain them. Joker arranged himself in front of me with lightning speed, blocking my view of the girl. Beast pinned my arms behind me. I shrugged her off. Mutterings began in my head. I transmitted them in a monotone. "It's a valid question. Says Bronte. Move, Joker. Says Oscar." I looked at the offending creature, huddled in Dagger's arms, and found it impossible to be angry with her. Emily murmured something philosophical at me. "Just remember, if he's half snake, then he's half human too. Says Emily."

There was silence from the girl. "Snake, perhaps you ought to talk normally," suggested Doll.

"Fine. For now." I paused for a moment. "Emily says, 'We all have opinions too, though!'" I looked at Doll. "Sorry, but I have to let them speak."

"Snake is telling us what his snakes are saying," Joker translated for Rachel. "You'll get used to it eventually." The aforementioned serpents poked their heads out my sleeves, introducing themselves one by one. I relayed their words quietly, blushing slightly when Emily found an opportune moment to start flirting with Dagger, who stifled a grin. Whether at my discomfiture or at the snake, I wasn't sure.

"That's quite interesting, actually," Rachel commented. I inspected her carefully, realizing that diminutive as she was, she was much older than I had thought. Her voice was low, but soft, matching the deep bluish slate of her eyes. She had to be at least my age, but from what I could see of her, would scarcely come up to my shoulder. Her hair had been unevenly chopped off at ear length, but I could imagine it having once been far longer. She was pretty, I decided, although not really my type. I cut that line of thought off immediately. I didn't want to think of what had happened last time I'd fallen in love. "My name is Rachel. I'm sixteen." No other information appeared to be forthcoming.

"Alright. Rachel, do you want dinner with us, or should I find you somewhere to rest?" Joker asked her gently.

"Somewhere to rest. Please," she responded, equally quiet. Wordlessly, Joker reached around her and lifted her away from Dagger. She flinched at the touch of his skeletal prosthetic, and then went uncomfortably still.

"Dagger, can I put her in your tent for the afternoon? I'll figure out permanent assignments later," Joker said, and walked off without waiting for a response.

"Sure," Dagger called after his retreating back, and then to us, "Who wants food? I'm starving."

A chorus of affirmative responses rang out, and we proceeded towards our makeshift dining hall. I lagged slightly behind, stooping to release a series of snakes from my clothes. They could go catch their own mice. People tended to get upset when I brought them to the dinner table.

Dinner remained, as per usual, a simple affair. I ate the offered food without tasting it or really noticing what it was. It was too early for me to be really hungry. On performance nights we ate at four, hours before the show would start. I excused myself from the table before everyone else, and went to go collect my snakes so we could practice. If it could be called practicing. We mainly argued about my showmanship, or general lack thereof.

It was an amazing summer night outside, the sky vibrant in a way that turned the whole world to a painting. A slight breeze wafted the scents of the camp away from me, replacing them with the chirping crickets of oncoming night. I called out to my partners in a hiss, the human part of me listening to the strangled sound and wondering how this was language.

"What was that?" A bleary voice materialized in the silent air. I recognized it only as Rachel poked her head out of one of the tents. "Oh, it's you. What were you doing?" She walked outside, limping heavily on the new false leg she wore.

I carefully arranged my vocal cords into human speech. "Calling my snakes. They were out getting food for themselves." As if on cue, Goethe and Wordsworth twined themselves around my legs. I knelt down to allow Emily, Wilde, Oscar, and the rest into my sleeves.

"Hello, Rachel. Says Oscar." I relaxed into the comfortable rhythm of speaking for the snakes, leaving myself silent.

"I've been wanting to talk to you," Rachel announced.

"About what? Says Goethe."

"I'm not saying unless you actually speak to me. Sorry, but I don't need to talk to snakes."

"I suppose you don't want to talk to me, either, then," I said bitterly, ignoring Emily and Wilde's constant commentary.

"That's not what I meant!" she protested.

"What did you mean, then? Says Wordsworth."

"Is it so hard to just have a conversation with me? All I want to do is apologize."

"Continue, then. Says Emily."

"I won't if you talk in snakes all the time. I want to hear what you, not they, have to say."

"Fine. Continue." Angry hisses rolled through my head. "Emily! Goethe! Oscar! Quiet!" I dropped out of English to reprimand them. "You can keep talking after I'm done with this." I switched back into a language my human companion would understand, pointedly ignoring the stunned look on Rachel's face. "Sorry about that. Go on."

She stuttered. "I-I just wanted t-to say sorry. F-for treating you l-like an animal."

"It's no worse than what many do." I stared at her for a minute, then smirked and added, "And you don't have to be scared of me, either."

"I'm not!" she cried angrily.

"You're shaking and can't speak clearly. You won't meet my eyes. And you reek of terror. Don't tell me you're not frightened. You can't lie to me."

"Alright, then! I'm petrified. Are you satisfied?"

"At least you admit it. Leave us alone. Says Webster." I walked away, leaving her staring blankly ahead at me. Usually it felt good to take out my anger on someone, but this just left me weak and empty and guilty. I knew who I was furious with, and it wasn't her. It was myself.

I took my mind away from the loathing by practicing my act, which was rather boring to my own eyes. All I had to do was teach the snakes to do this on that command, whether it was a strike when I raised one hand or a swaying dance as I played the flute. They knew what to do already, so rehearsal occupied us only long enough to run though the performance once. I wondered how the audience found this so enthralling.

I realized moments after finishing that my circus outfit, which I had been wearing when I fell out of the tree, was still covered with mud. Pulling it off the ground, I examined the damage, swearing under my breath and wondering how quickly I could wash and dry it.

"Knock, knock," someone called from outside the tent.

"Come in, Doll. Says Keats." She pushed one of the tent flaps open, making me wince and blink in the sudden light. The sun had still not set, leaving fiery light glowing across the whole landscape.

"I wish you wouldn't do that, Snake. I know you can talk, yourself, if you want to."

"Perhaps we have more to say. Says Wilde."

"Sure, sure." She caught sight of my dismayed glaring at the clothes spread across the floor. "Do you need some help with that?"

"Would you? We don't know what to do. Says Emily."

"Here, it's easy enough to wash it off, and if it doesn't air dry soon enough then I think we could iron the water out." She picked up the shirt, brushing mud off of its front. "And the boots are easy enough, just get the dirt off and a bit of polish will do just fine."

"Should we do that? Says Wordsworth."

"Sure. I think Joker probably has some polish. Go get it from his tent." I shoved my way out the heavy cloth doors, once more into the ruby sunset.

Author's Note: So, this is my first fanfiction. I kind of love Snake, so I figured he'd be a good first protagonist. I'm trying not to go too out of character with any of this, but sorry if I do. Anyways, about the story. I am aware this chapter at least certainly does not deserve a teen rating, but it will get more mature soon. I think. For the next chapter at least, which will be a bit of yaoi, so if you're terribly homophobic or something then skip it. I am also aware that this story seems kind of plotless and boring at this point, but I hope it'll get more interesting soon. So yeah. Author out.