I don't think I have anything to say. I haven't played a Mario Party game since I was in the 'special' school, but I read about them all the time. This, clearly, isn't a Mario Party but Count Bleck desperately wants it to be. See how he takes an unruly party and turns it into something to be proud of… or not. Flowerstar's party fic is better so far. I'm almost done composing my review.

I'd also like to say that the subplot with Dimentio is something I really, really wish I had thought of when I started this.

Count Bleck and Tippi had spent the day by the seaside. It was very romantic, as you can well imagine. They had a picnic lunch and played dodge-the-waves, listened to the ocean in the seashells and talked about nothing in particular. It was just about the most perfect day you can imagine, spent with the one you love most.

So, of course, they came home to total chaos.

When they got back, the castle was overwhelmed with creatures from all over the world. From several worlds, in fact. Either someone had brought everyone here or someone had tapped into the Exor Rift (a cut in time and space that allowed anyone to travel through dimensions, provided they knew where it was and didn't care where they ended up.)

"Who are all these people, Count Bleck wondered aloud. I don't remember inviting anybody."

"Perhaps one of your minions did?"

"No… if you combined all four of them I can't imagine them having this many friends."

"Blumiere!"

"I'm merely stating a fact," he told her. "If I said it in front of one of them, that would make it rude."

Count Bleck pushed through a mob of people out front. They were all acting rambunctiously, so when the Count bumped somebody's shoulders, he wasn't even noticed.

"What an unruly crowd," Count Bleck commented. "Stay close to me, Timpani."

Inside, it was worse than outside. There were just as many creatures, crammed in the halls of Castle Bleck. Someone apparently had been feeding them, because there were discarded plates and cups and crumbs all over, as well as people shouting with their mouths full. It was really quite rude. Inside, Bleck could feel the distinctive pulse of heavy metal or techno music- something he did not allow in his castle- coming through the floors and walls.

The noise was getting uncomfortable. It was mainly the loudness of voices, but they all blended together until it became impossible to pick out any single conversation. Finally, Count Bleck reached out, located Nastasia, and teleported to her.

He found her locked in the Chuckola Cola cellar, behind a rack of vintage colas the Count had collected. She was going over some papers and frowning heavily. The pulse was stronger down here, but all other noise was muffled significantly.

"Nastasia." Count Bleck nodded.

"Oh, yeah, hi." She didn't look up.

"Have you been upstairs?" asked Count Bleck.

"I'm gonna get right on that," she explained. "Yeah, but first I have to finish something else. I promise, it's in my in-box on the top of my to-do pile."

"Where are my minions?"

"Hiding, I suppose, or else in the party."

"Why is there a party in Bleck's Castle?"

Nastasia paused, and then sucked in some air. "Yeah, it's a long story."

"It can't be too long if it's important."

"Hm. Well, yeah, that's true. So, anyway, it seems that some of your enemies have found you."

"Bleck has enemies?"

"Like K. Man Koopa. You know, small-time, big vengence? Yeah, so, they hunted you down and found your castle, prepared to fight you to the ends of the world. But nobody was home, though, so they just started hanging out. Yeah, and they decided to have some fun, and they were having so much fun that they went and got their friends, and then their friends got more friends, and… it kinda just got out of hand."

"So… they came seeking vengeance… and threw a party?"

"Revenge of the worst kind; property damage."

Tippi gasped. "How horrible!"

"You are being sarcastic, am I right?"

"Half and half," she replied.

"So we're gonna need an action plan, 'k?" Nastasia continued. "Yeah, 'cause I really can't do anything on my own."

"Hm."

Meanwhile, Mimi, O'Chunks, and Mr. L were having a secret meeting in the fort Mimi built out of blankets in her room. She was shining a flashlight under her face and addressing the other three as if she was some sort of tribal leader.

"Okay, guys," she said. "I've called this meeting to talk about something really, really important. It's about Dimentio."

"Why, what'd he do?"

"Okay, like, remember how Count Bleck came to find all of us way back when he came back after all that yucky stuff we all did?"

"Um… you mean the first time we saw him, like, post-void?"

"Yeah."

"Ey, Mimi, there ain't much air under 'ere, is 'ere? Why don't we do this out in the open?"

"'Cause, dummy, I don't want Dimentio to hear us!"

"Ah. 'Scuse me, then, I just thought it was a blanket fort. Didn't realize it was a soundproof fortress."

Mimi smacked in his direction, but couldn't reach. Then she put her grip firmly back on the flashlight. "As I was saying! So, like, do you guys remember when we first found Dimentio then?"

Mr. L pondered that for a moment. "If I remember right, he was just kind of at our first meeting."

"Yeah! And, like, we all thought he was dead until then, right?"

"Yeah…"

"So! What if he, like, really was dead?"

"… I don't follow."

"What if Dimentio's a ghost and he's been haunting this castle the whole time!" She looked at them expectantly. "I mean, it all adds up, doesn't it? He would have blown up right there in the meeting room, right where we found him. What if he never left!"

Mr. L and O'Chunks looked at each other, trying to decide of she was off her rocker or full of insight.

"Ah, it don't add up, lass," O'Chunks said finally. "Sure, what yeh said is true… but 'asn't 'e left the castle since that? A lot, even."

"Well, he's not, like, trapped in here. Not all ghosts are. But what if he really is a ghost?"

Mr. L pulled his hat down as far as he could. "Ohmanohmanohman, don't even joke about that," he said. "If you're gonna be bringing up ghosts you'd better be 100% serious, I swear."

"I am!" She leaned in closely, looked left and right quickly, and whispered, "Dimentio is a ghost and he's going to haunt us until we get rid of him!"

Just then, someone tapped on one of the chairs that was holding up the blanket fort.

At least one of them screamed. They all jumped and scrambled to hide.

"Pardon me, interrupted Count Bleck. May I have a word with you?"

Count Bleck was waiting outside the fort. He had tapped with the jewel of his staff, and now he was waiting patiently with his arms folded as usual.

"Oh." Mimi panted and put her hand over her chest. "Oh, good. We thought you were Dimentio."

"That happens all the time."

"So, what's up?"

"Well," said Count Bleck, "I was wondering if you knew that there was apparently a rave going on downstairs."

"Oh, yeah, I heard that."

"And, may I ask, why you did not give these trespassers the boot when they first arrived here in the castle?"

Dead silence.

"Well, we were having this meeting, you see, and… um… you want us to get rid of them now, right?"

Count Bleck put his finger above his mouth- normally this would be a touching your nose gesture, but he had no nose to speak of. Then he glided out of the room.

He met up with Dimentio just outside the hallway. "Good afternoon," said Count Bleck.

"I was resting in my room," said Dimentio, "when my ears started to burn like bad ointment upon sensitive skin. May I ask what it was about?"

"You may ask anything you like," replied Count Bleck. "I don't know what they were discussing, however, although I have the utmost confidence you'll be able to squeeze it out of Miss Mimi with a bit of effort."

Dimentio nodded and floated into the room. As soon as he entered the room, he saw three forms duck under the blanket fort. He thought for a moment, and then tapped on the door.

"Is that Nastasia?" called Mr. L.

"No," said Dimentio in a partially-disguised voice.

There was a mad scrambling on the other side of the door. Dimentio heard the thud of a heavy object falling down and the rush of fabric moving quickly.

"Ain't nobody in here but us bedroom furniture pieces!" Mr. L called after the rustle.

"Ah. I must have been mistaken. After a brief conversation with our beloved Count, I was under the impression that there was a blockhead convention taking place within a fort in Mimi's room."

"Who's a blockhead?"

"Go away, ghost!"

Dimentio tugged on his poncho right over his chest and debated whether or not he wanted to be having this conversation. He decided that his time would be better spent investigating downstairs.

"Dude, somebody toss me a shell!"

"Hey, I'm wearin' that one!"

"Oh, man, look! Johnson's not wearing a shell!"

"Come on, guys, this is embarrassing!"

"Shell fight!"

The main parlor was a flurry of koopa shells as they were tossed around the room like water balloons. Count Bleck was hovering in an upper corner of the room. The only reason he had not been noticed at this point was because the crowd was too self-absorbed.

"This is not how respectable people have a party," he said to the air beside him. He did a double-take, and then looked to his other side. Then he stuck his head through the wall and pulled it back. Tippi appeared in the air he had been speaking to.

"Sorry," she said. "I was delayed. What did I miss?"

A red shell came two inches from Count Bleck's face, but he hit it away with his staff.

"This is not how respectable people have a party," he repeated.

"Oh." She looked over the crowd. One koopa had been knocked onto his shell, and the shell-less koopas around him were spinning him around. The poor thing looked about as green as his shell, but he seemed to be having a good time.

"Why are they naked?" asked Tippi.

"They aren't naked, they're wearing undershirts and shoes."

The steady music pulse abruptly changed. It was clear that a song had ended, and another began. Count Bleck clenched his muscles.

"I detest that noise," he said. "The first thing I shall do is hunt it down and put a stop to it. So says Count Bleck!"

A goomba on the ground, who was busy dodging feet and trying not to be stepped on, suddenly heard and noticed Count Bleck.

"Dude!" he said. "It's the dude! The dude we were looking for, dudes!"

"Dude, you have got to try this thing I found in the fridge!" his goomba friend called to him, holding a platter of cheeses on his head.

"Dude!" the goomba promptly forgot about Count Bleck and went off to eat more of the Count's food.

Count Bleck shook his head.