A/N: This is another VMars one shot! It's basically Veronica's thought (what I think they would have been) when she came upon the crash scene in the second ep. of season 2. Uh, that's about it. R&R! Thanks! -Mac
Disclaimer: I don't own Veronica Mars. Like that's a surprise.
Things Happen
Everyone has heard the phrase 'everything happens for a reason.' It comes tumbling from the lips of everyone around you when bad things happen. It's an excuse. It's a justification. And I think it's complete bullshit.
Things happen, yes, but do they happen for a reason? Do they really have some divine purpose for occurring? Is our pain, our guilt, our heartbreak for a reason? If it was, why can't anyone tell me what that reason is?
I don't believe it. I can't. I know things happen--they happen everyday. Some times they're bad, sometimes they're good. When they are bad people are just trying to explain the unexplainable. They need someone--or something--to blame. So blame the invisible force. Blame fate. I'd rather not. Things just happen sometimes.
Things happen. They happen a lot around me. I've fournd that explaining them away only makes things worse. If I'm going to justify this thing that has happened I would rather find the one responsible than blame it on something I can't see or touch. I want tangible justice. But that's jus me, Veronica Mars. I'm like that. I was like that when Lillly was murdered. I'm still like that today. Thought, that's not much of a surprise. It's become one of my prominant character traits...or is that flaws?
Either way things happen. Buses crash. People die. People see figments of their dead best friends and miss buses. Others don't. People are rich enough to rent limos to avoid smelly buses. People ride the buses to avoid ex-boyfriends and their new girlfriends. People are too poor to find other rides. It happens. Increasingly, these bad things happen to me.
Things happen whether we like them or not. Things will happen regardless of how guilty we may feel about them. We can feel guilty, ashamed, terrified when things happen, but they happen either way. I hate it.
I hate having no control. The little control we have seems to slip away when bad things happen. We're either too late or we don't try hard enough, I don't know what it is, but it doesn't stop things from happening. I hate feeling helpless, like everything is out of my hands. Like I have nothing to hold onto. Tragedy is like that. It makes you feel like everything in your life will be decided for you and you have no say in it.
Standing out on that cliff a chill went through me that I had only felt a few times in my life. When I saw Lilly that first time by the pool, broken and bloody. When I stood with Logan in the hotel lobby as he sobbed over the loss of his mother--it changed how I saw him, it affected how I look at death. When I lay locked in a refrigerator box, the smell of gas suffocating me and the smoke filling my lungs--I had a genuine fear that I was going to die that night. And I felt it again here.
It was tragedy, plain and simple. Not that I haven't gotten used to it. Tragedy is common in Neptune. As I watched the ripples fade in the water and debris floated to the surface, I had the overwhelming sense come over me that this wouldn't end here. That it would consume me--like Lilly's murder did. It scared me. But I would have to accept it, just like everything else that happened.
It's out of control. Out of my control. It's a wild force that nothing and nobody can explain. I let Duncan pull me closer, as I realized everything in life is that way.