A/N: So apparently my TalaxBryan stories are the most popular of all the ones I've written o.O so I guess ill stick with that pairing for this story. Yes? Yes? Good.

Warnings: Shounen-Ai

Disclaimer: Contrary to popular belief I do own Bryan. He lives in my closet and I bring him muffins and juice once a day…….NOT. I wish I owned Bryan. That would be the shiznit.

So I Wish

So I wish I had a panda.

You know what else I wish I had?

Tala in my pants.

But that's not going to happen.

So I'm wishing for something more realistic.

A panda.

I want one.

Like…right now.

Fer serious-face.

Why?

Because pandas are fluffy

Like Tala

Because pandas are cute

Like Tala

Because pandas love me

..Not like Tala

And I'm okay with that….I think.

Anyway.

My name's Bryan and if you couldn't tell already, I want a panda.

I know most people are like "aww I want a puppy!"

Fuck no.

I want a fucking panda.

I don't know when I decided I liked pandas. I think it was a fairly random decision. It was one of those days were I was just sitting around by myself and, with nothing better to do until my sexy sexy teammate returned, I decided to make a list of all of my favorite animals. I was really bored okay? So sue me.

Anyway, grabbing a random piece of paper I listed all the animals that I thought were fucking fantastic.

Snakes

Horses

Bears

Koalas

Kitties

Pandas

The list, might I add, was fairly easy to narrow down with a little help from Ian.

Snakes. Ian said they're too slithery and they can eat your feet. I agreed, crossing snakes off my list.

Horses. For as much as I think horses are awesome, Ian mentioned that they can kill people. And while I do love killing people, I would rather not get maimed by a four legged monster.

Bears. CLAW CLAW SHRED RAAWWWWR. Enough said.

Koalas. What the fuck do Koalas do? Nothing, according to Ian.

Kitties. If I said kitties were my favorite animal I think Tala would shoot me in the head with a paint ball gun. That or Kai would chase me around the house with a knife for stealing his favorite animal.

Pandas. Vicious creatures (no. seriously. They're bitchy, PMSing little things). Yet cute. A surprise attack.

Perfection.

And so, I announced that night when Tala returned that I wanted a panda.

And you know what the little shithead said?

"You'd have a better chance of fucking Kai than getting a panda."

Jerkfacey douchewaffle.

I will have my panda.

And nobody can stop me.

HAHA.

…

So did you know it's illegal to have pandas?

Yeah. I tried ordering one off the internet. Guess I wont be getting that panda I wanted.

- - - - - - -Tala's POV- - - - - - - - - -

Pandas.

What the fuck is so great about pandas?

Seriously?

I'm ten times better than any panda.

Bryan's been sulking around for three days now because he can't have a panda.

So me, being the kind, loving soul that I am (not to mention the fact that at this rate, if I don't make him happy soon I'll never get the chance to rape him..uh..I mean, date him) I put together a plan. An ingenious one.

And he'd never see it coming.

Infact, as expected, he never saw it coming.

I mean really, who would?

Because when you open your bedroom door on any given random tuesday you don't generally expect to find a Russian sitting on your bed in a rented panda suit. (Unless you're weird or the author of this story)

Lets just say, Bryan finally shut up and got his panda.

And me?

I got to rape hi-…uh…hug him.

Right. I got to hug him.

A/N: I don't know where this story came from. I just know I wanted to write about pandas and Tala. So…YES! Please read and review or I'll eat your mom.