I want to be Lori Baxter
By Eric
No Copyright infringement intended. The Characters belong
to Big Wolf Production.
LORI
I had noticed her from time to time. She was a quiet new girl,
rather short and dumpy looking. I was surprised when she
came up to me and as bold as anything and asked me how it
felt to be so pretty and popular. I think my mouth dropped.
What the hell do you say to something like this anyway?
"I never thought about it!" I finally said.
She looked skeptical. She was about 5' tall and as I say
dumpy, flat chested with reddish hair and rather uncool in
her clothes. She said her name was Alice.
"Just be yourself," I said.
ALICE.
Step 12 completed. I had studied her for the whole semester
after deciding she was the one. Aside from the fact she was
gorgeous and popular (things I never would be) Lori was
dating the real hunk of the School - Tommy the starting
quarter back on the football team! I had fallen for him from
the first time I laid eyes on him. Of course he never noticed
me! I checked items off my list. I knew the combination to
her locker, who all her friends were. Lori was really
beautiful and popular, on the student council was a good
athlete – all the things I was not. At least now I was not. But
that would soon change!
It's amazing what a few dollars will buy. I even bugged her
house and knew her relationship with her parents (who were
very well off – another Plus!) I learned kickboxing and
tennis – her two major sports. I wasn't nearly as good as her,
but that would soon change!
Why should I be myself? Who would want to be me –
especially when I could be the beautiful and popular Lori
Baxter! It would be tough on her being me, but she didn't
deserve her good fortune. I did. I had found an old book in a
musty old store. Funny I could never find it again. The guy
in a bathrobe that sold to me claimed to be a wizard. Get
real! He told me it would forever change my life. The book
had a mystical Latin title that translated into "Black Magic
for Dummies!" It had five spells.
Now to meet her friends and boyfriend and not only check
them out but convince them that Alice was an obsessive nut!
I gushed all over them. Major heavy breathing - that Tommy
is a so dreamy! His friend and hanger on Merton is a Goth
jerk, and his hair in spikes is weird. He went up to speak to a
girl and spilled an extra large frosty freeze on her. Man did
she know some cuss words. Then she punched him in the
eye. I find this is not untypical. I wonder why Tommy and
Lori hang around with such a loser! Speaking of Tommy -
wow but is he a hunk! He is so cute! I can't wait for him to
be mine! Right now he finds me unattractive, but that's OK.
That will work to my advantage later. He is really yummy!
I took pictures of Lori everywhere. The picture is the mirror
of the soul.
LORI
I can't believe what a pest Alice is! She even snooped in on
me when I was accessing E-mail. She took a picture and
knows my password. She's really crazy! I try not to punch
her lights out! Later I talk to Tommy about it.
"Tommy, Alice is driving me nuts!"
Tommy shrugged and grinned. "She reminds me of Merton."
"What? He's your best friend!"
"I know, but - well he became my best friend by doing the
things Alice is doing. He followed me everywhere and
latched on and before I knew he was part of my life."
That sends chills up and down my spine! "Alice isn't going
to be part of mine! "
He grinned. Tommy is so cute! I am lucky to have him for
my boyfriend. No only is he a hunk but he is so damn nice! I
feel a stab of guilt. He's nicer than I am. I know I have a
terrible temper. I guess its what kept him a rare good
werewolf. I know I would have been a evil one.
"No, you're tougher than I am and have a wicked temper. I'm
pretty easy going – except when I wolf out!"
I grin and kissed him. Damn here comes Merton again. He's
always a third wheel! Well I'm not the kind of girl who
isolates her boyfriend from his oldest friend – sometimes I
wish I were! Merton is far more trouble than he's worth!
Damn he knocks over a chair again and bumps into someone
again. What a deeb. He would knock over something in the
Sahara desert!
ALICE
I am trying to curb my impatience, but I can't wait to be Lori
Baxter! I've memorized her diary and her mannerisms and
know all her friends by name and face. My schoolwork has
gone down the drain, but who cares. That soon won't be MY
problems. I laugh. Am I mean?
Taking a clue from 'Single White Female' I find a wig that
looks a little like Lori's hair and I spied what she was
wearing and changed into a duplicate outfit.
Tommy comes up and is startled. Good. Lori of course
freaks out big time. I can see steam coming out of her ears.
"Tommy, could I speak to Alice alone?"
He is only too glad to let the two females cat it out!
Lori goes into some rigmarole, which I will also use later.
.
She is so beautiful. Soon I will be! I can't wait any longer. I
grab her hands and recite the spell. A moment of blackness
and then I am looking down on a short plump girl with no
tits wearing a ridiculous looking blond wig! It worked! I
smile broadly. Lori of course looks puzzled. I play with my
beautiful hair and open MY locker and stare into the mirror.
The beautiful, sexy, and popular Lori Baxter stares out! Life
will be wonderful now.
"Alice, why do you look like me?" she finally says in my old
voice.
"I don't only look like you, but I am YOU! " With my
superior size and strength I drag her to the mirror. "And now
you are ME!"
"You'll never get away with it!" she sputters.
Just then one of Lori's best girl friends walks by and says
"Hi, Lori" to ME. I smile Lori's smile and wave Lori's wave.
Lori's mouth drops. My god how could I stand being so
unattractive when I was in that pathetic body?
"Good Luck, ALICE" I say as I walk away with Lori's
confident stride. God, I feel so strong, my body is so lean
and limber! I feel so self assured being so beautiful. Now
Tommy is MINE! I better get to him and the jerk Merton
first and set the stage!
LORI
I can't believe it. It's horrible watching MY body walking
away from me. I am now Alice, short, fat and ugly! Well she
wont get away with it! I need to find Tommy and Merton!
They'll help me get my body back! And when I do I'm going
to pound Alice into strawberry jelly!
ALICE
It's GREAT being Lori! People NOTICE me! They smile
and say hello! Ah there's MY boyfriend and his Goth hanger
on. As soon as I can arrange it Merton has got to go! I hate
freaky people! I rush up to them. Be Lori, I think.
"That freak Alice is gone crazy! She thinks she's me! Do we
call for the white coats or ignore her?"
Tommy looks startled. Merton a usual looks puzzled. Lori –
no 'Alice' – I'm Lori NOW! Comes running up in that
pathetic body.
"Don't listen to her!"
She tries to win them over but I exploded her attempts by
pointing out that she has MY Diary! My plan is working
beautifully! I rush off with Tommy following me. Cool! I've
done it. I am now Lori Baxter!
LORI
Tommy doesn't believe me! He hurries after Alice in my
body!
"Merton, you believe me don't you?"
I'm so relived. He does. I take back all the bad thoughts I had
about him. He's going put me on his cable show and we will
expose the body thief and maybe find someone who can help
me.
ALICE
Tommy comforts me! It's great to in his arms. I smile with
satisfaction. A lifetime of being the desirable Lori Baxter!
I go to my classes and teachers treat me with respect. I know
Lori's schedule of course. Later on in the gym I am amazed
how fast and strong my body is. This is too cool.
'Alice' comes up to me. Poor plain, plump girl.
"Hi Alice, I hope you got over this fantasy of being me?" I
say.
Her plain face turns read.
"You wont get away with this! "
"Look, Alice you have two choices. You can accept who you
are and make the best of it. Be yourself, isn't that what you
once told me. Or things can get worse – they put insane
people away you know."
She refuses to listen. "I'm going on Merton's cable TV show
and will expose you, Alice!"
I smile with superiority and push her out of my way. She
staggers. I am so much stronger than her now! I look up
Merton to find out what's going on. It's too cool! He's going
to expose her as a nut and make fun of her!
I place a call to the probation board; they put me on hold and
I giggle, now Lori is the one with a record! Great, they going
to have someone at the show and see if 'Alice' shows any
violent tendencies. I laugh this is going great!
I spend sometime in front of the mirror turning this way and
that! I smile. It is wonderful being so beautiful!
I watch the show. It's great! The new Alice is playing right
into my hands! She goes ballistic when Merton makes fun of
her and tells the audience she is really Alice! She starts
strangling him.
"This wont look good on your record, 'Alice' " I think,
smiling.
I put my arm through my boyfriends later and we hang out
together. Merton brings over some drinks, its cherry,
normally I don't like cheery but in my new body I do.
Tommy doesn't think I am not acting normally. Lori is very
self-reliant. I have to watch myself.
Merton is laughing about how Alice was arrested and carted
away by the cops. I explain that she has a long history of
stalking and disturbed behavior. Poor Alice, I think. She
made her choice – now's she's in for it.
That night Tommy and I necked for the longest time. It's
great feeling so sexy! I have him all befuddled. Soon he
won't know if up is down and he will accept me totally as
Lori Baxter.
I love my home! My new room is twice the size of my old
and my parents love me! Being Lori is great!
The next day after school I decide to visit 'Alice' in jail. It's
the least I can do. I smile. This is going to be good. I make
sure I wear a really sexy outfit. I sigh with satisfaction in
front of the mirror. Great tits and ass! No wonder my
Tommy loves me!
'Alice' turns red in the face when she sees me! She sputters. I
say sweetly.
"I'm sorry for your problems, Alice; but I had a great time
last time, making out with MY boyfriend Tommy!"
She starts banging on the glass and they drag her away. Poor
delusional girl!
LORI
This is a HORRIBLE nightmare! I'm stuck in this horrible
body! Nobody will believe me. Then Alice shows up and
tells me that she and Tommy are making out! Death is too
good for her. But I've got to control my temper. I think
coolly. If I go on saying I'm Lori I will be put a loony bin
and will never get out! I groan I am going to have to pretend
to be the bitch! I am sentenced to 30 days in a correctional
facility for violating 'my' parole, stalking (a complaint by
Lori Baxter! I will kill the bitch!) AND violent behavior on a
TV shows strangling that idiot Merton. Just great! Along
with Alice's pathetic, short body I have her criminal record.
This just keeps getting better and better!
If I behave myself I will be paroled in the custom of 'MY'
parents' God, Alice's parents are a bunch of losers! The jail
doors clang behind me! It's going to be a long month! I'm in
jail and the real Alice is in my body, living my life, making
out with Tommy and being beautiful and popular. Life sucks
big time!
I have visitors. I hope it's not 'my' whining parents. No, it's
the fake Lori and Tommy together. What can the bitch be up
to? Watch yourself, Lori. Keep your cool. Tommy has his
arm around Alice! God does she look smug.
"Lori, I have to tell you something," Tommy says.
My jaw drops. "You know and believe me now?"
"Yes. But I like Alice better than you!"
"What!!" I find myself screaming.
The bitch kisses him with my lips!
"Yes, Alice gives me sex anytime I ask. So as far as I am
concerned she is the real Lori Baxter now."
"Have a nice life," says 'Lori' with a smug smile.
This is a nightmare! I scream. I wake up. Thank god it WAS
a nightmare. But I can't go back to sleep on my
uncomfortable cot. I rattle the bars. Much good that does me.
I can't help wondering what Alice is doing with my body!
Face, it Lori, I tell myself. In thirty days there is no way
anyone will believe you! The new Lori will have adjusted by
then and everyone will accept her. You're on your own.
Well if I am going to have to live in this poor excuse for a
bod I am going to at least get it in shape! I start exercising!
It is not easy going as this body is in terrible condition.
ALICE
Poor 'Alice' got thirty days of jail time in Juvenile! Such a
pity! Snicker
It's too cool! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT Tommy is a
werewolf! My boyfriend is a werewolf! And I am a body
stealer. We are such soul mates. Its great having such a hunk
all mine! Poor Alice could never have gotten such a
boyfriend. Captain of school football team an all city
quarterback! But I'm the beautiful, popular Lori Baxter! I can
get any guy I want! One day I will make a make a beautiful
bride. I love fighting monsters with him and Merton. I now
know karate and kick boxing. Boy can I kick ass how! Life is
wonderful!
I am successful in explaining any changes in behavior due to
Alice's weirdness. My parents are very understanding.
Fortunately, Merton is so weird he makes everyone else
normal by comparison. It was really freaky one day though,
with my former parents coming over and apologizing for
their daughter's bad behavior. God my – I mean Alice's
parents are just pathetic! I look down on them, cool and
composed. After all I am the beautiful Lori Baxter now! I
smile graciously and say:
"It's OK, I just hope poor Alice can get help."
"Miss Baxter, thank you for being so understanding!" says
Alice's dad.
"I can see why my poor daughter would envy you, Miss
Baxter – you're so beautiful!" Says Alice's mom.
"Thank you, Mrs. Krump," I say pleasantly. I giggle inside.
Poor woman if only she knew how happy her former
daughter is now!
Quietly searching my new house I found old scrapbooks and
older diaries. I'll have to thank 'Alice' for leaving these
around. I visit her from time to time and its great to see her
burn! Now I'm the beautiful, popular Lori Baxter and she the
plain, short Alice Krump and that's the way it's going to stay!
She can't say or do anything now or it's off to a comfortable
padded cell. She never will get away from being Alice as of
course I've destroyed the Magic Spell Book. No sense taking
any chances of losing this great body and life!
LORI
The thirty days seemed like 90. Maybe worse even than
being locked up is all the time I have to spend listening to a
shrink trying to get me 'comfortable' with 'myself'. Gag me!
I must control myself. I do so with great effort. The desire to
strangle him is almost irresistible.
"Thank you Dr. Hamerslogger, I realize that my envy of Lori
Baxter is unhealthy and absurd. I am Alice Krump and will
just be myself from now on!" I say sweetly with a smile
fixed on my face. God I would love to murder him and jump
on the remains! He so invincibly stupid and self-righteous
I am released but it's made clear to me that another act of
violence or stalking – especially against 'that nice Lori
Baxter' and I will be tried and sentenced as an adult! My – I
mean Alice's parents pick me up. To top it all off I have to
back to school and watch Alice living my life! "The body
snatcher must be destroyed!" as they say in Merton's
Frankenstein movies! – But how? The only thing I can think
of is to search her house when I get home to see how she did
it. I spend a week at it - Nothing so far. The answer just got
to be here. It's just got to be here. I can't live the rest of
myself as Alice!
I hate my first day back in school. In someway I would
rather be back in Prison. Everyone looks at me like I have
two heads. Nobody but the Goths will talk to me. Damn here
comes 'Lori Baxter' all smiles. She is hanging on Tommy's
arm. She is dressed sexier than I used to – showing off her –
I mean my great legs in Mini skirt and boots. Tommy is lost
her beautiful eyes. That used to be me! She looks at me and I
can feel her gloating. I will kill the bitch!
Gym class is terrible. I've got a long way to go to get this
body in shape! 'Lori' goes up ropes and does sports while I
puff! Skinning alive is too good for her. When no one else is
around she say things like:
"Just be yourself, Alice." Or "I can't believe how nice it is to
be pretty and popular" or "Tommy and I are going to make
out point!"
Life sucks!
ALICE
Lori being Alice and her abject misery makes my happiness
complete! I've made every school team I've gone out for.
Tommy just adores me and we are seeing no one else. I am
called into the councilor's office. I grin - better and better. I
can't wait to tell 'Alice'!
"Oh, Alice " I say sweetly. Her envious eyes make me feel
great. I will never forget the first day back in school when
she had to say 'Lori, I am sorry I stalked you' Right in front
of the entire school or get sent back to jail! Life was never
sweeter than at that moment. From then on I WAS Lori and
she Alice!
"Yes, 'Lori'?"
She has to call me by MY name or back to jail she goes!
"I thought you would like to know. I've been accepted to my
favorite University!" I show her the letter. She turns white.
"To bad you will have to repeat a year because of your
'problems'". I laugh and move away.
Tommy and I go out and celebrate tonight! What a night!
LORI
The only people who accept me at school are the Goths!
They think its cool that I am a dangerous criminal! A
beginning of a plan forms. I need a power base. No sense
talking to that fool Tommy. Alice in my beautiful body has
him wrapped around her finger – not to mention other places
if the rumors are true! I replace poor Merton as the President
of the Goth's. Poor, desperate Merton even begs me to go
out. He's just pathetic! I think his longest relationship was
like 60 seconds! If it weren't for Tommy's friendship he
would be one of the most unpopular kid in school – what a
geek. Even the other Goths try to avoid him. Nothing he does
turns out right. My folks wonder why I have no 'normal'
friends'! What a laugh. I spend as much time as possible
everyday searching the house. The answer to my body thief
has just got to be here. It has just got to be. I can't the rest of
my time in Alice's pathetic body with the real Alice living
my wonderful life and rubbing it in every chance she gets!
Give it up, Lori – or should I say 'Alice'! I had just finished
the last part of the house – the attic – there's nothing here!
Then, as I am walking in out of the attic which I've torn apart
when I hear a floor bell creak under my foot. With hope I
drop down. What's this - a loose board? Underneath is a
book in Latin. This is it! This must be it. I translate it. Black
Magic for Dummies. Thank god Alice neither burned it or
took it with her! What a break. (Somewhere, did an old man
in a robe smile?)
I pretend to be sick that day and stay home alone to study it.
The book has six spells. I look at the last one. I'm sure glad
the bitch didn't use this one on me!
There's the spell I will need to make a potion out of her and
my hair. OK. Then I need to say a few magic words grasp
both arms. Then we will switch. Looks easy and I remember
her mutter something just before everything went black.
Shit! This is no good. She will just switch us back right
away! Also, how will I get close enough or have her not on
guard when I approach. She's not going to be a sucker like
me and just stand there to have her body stolen! I go to bed. I
wake up the next morning with a plan. Its brilliant if I do say
so myself.
I steal into 'Lori's' Locker. She was too arrogant to change
the compo and get some of her hair. Now there someone else
I need to talk to.
That went well. Lori – I mean Alice you're going down but
good!
ALICE
Merton comes up to me in his usual clumsy way.
"Lori if I tell you something about Tommy will you promise
not to tell him I told you?"
I'm dying of curiosity. "OK." So I will meet him after school
at the lair.
Later I look at him. "Well!"
"He's seeing another girl!"
Red fury boils up within me. How could he do this to me,
Lori Baxter? I've been so nice to him and I'm the prettiest,
sexy girl in school!
"I'm sorry, Lori," he says taking both my hands.
I'm in shock. Then I hear him mumble some words. I try and
pull away. Then it is too late! There is darkness and then
light. Then I am staring at myself Lori Baxter and I'm in
Merton J Hingle's unpopular, insignificant MALE body. I
grab for what used to be my arms, but Merton the evil body
thief whirls and kicks me right in the balls. I crumple in
agony. I see Alice coming. She has a vile. Oh, no they're in
this together! My former body punches me in the stomach
and I gasp for air. Between them they force a potion down
my throat. I faint.
When I come to I am looking at two girls. One is a very
pretty, blond with a terrific figure. The other is shorter, and a
little plum and plain – she's wearing Goth clothes and has a
Goth haircut. I feel I should know them, but I can't
remember. With fear I can't remember who I am!
"Who am I?" I ask.
The beautiful girl smiles. "You are Merton J Dingle. I am
Lori Baxter. This is your girl friend Alice."
Alice smiles and hugs me. "Yes, you adore me! And will do
anything for me!"
"I do? I will?" I look in the mirror. Yuck, I guess I am a real
freak. I'm lucky to have ANY girl friend.
The beautiful Lori Baxter smiles and says" I guess I will
leave you two lovebirds alone. Alice, you will fill Morton in
on himself, won't you?"
Alice nods vigorously, "You bet!" She says and knocks over
a table.
I don't feel right somehow. AM – I really this Merton?
Somehow, it doesn't feel right?
But my girl friend Alice shows me videos of myself when I
had a TV show – Damn! I have as much charisma as a sack
of wet mice. Then I see home videos of me, my best friend
Tommy and the beautiful Lori Baxter. I must have been
obsessed with myself because there's scrapbooks with a
detailed history of my pitifully life with photos. What a
geek! I am lucky to have Alice for a girlfriend. She tells me
this too. I feel lost and lonely and feel so grateful when she
takes me into the bedroom and we have sex.
LORI
It's so great to be me again! I look in the mirror and smile.
Hello Lori Baxter! I throw my arms up wildly in the air and
dance. I sing a song I heard in a movie " Happy days are here
again!" Same old lousy voice, but who cares I am Lori
Baxter again. I will approach my good fortune better now, I
assure myself! It's great to go home to my real parents. How
I missed them! They are surprised to get warm hugs from
me.
"I missed you both!"
"You saw us this morning, dear." Says my puzzled Mom.
Once again I look in the mirror. Welcome back, body!
There's no place like home!
Tommy comes over. I don't know whether to forgive him or
not for not noticing the difference between me and that
monster Alice! But I guess I will, after all he is only a man!
On the way to school the next morning I have a big grin on
MY face. My plan worked beautifully! Merton was eager to
help. He is so tired of being a nobody. As Alice he would be
leader of the Goths and almost everybody in school would be
afraid of him, the vileont criminal Alice Krump. Before even
the mice sneered and old librarians bullied him. Also, he
could then get laid. I talked him into a body swap and then
swapped with an unsuspecting Alice in my body. I knew I
could get her off guard in Merton's body and telling her the
fable of Tommy seeing another girl.
She's being punished big time now. Now only does she have
no memory, but thinks she is Merton! She will have to go
through life as him. A fate worse than death? I see 'Alice'
ordering a hen picked 'Merton' around all day. A stunned
'Merton' keeps saying. 'Yes, dear.' After classes I see 'Alice'
come up to me all smiles.
"Thanks, Lori! I finally got laid last night! I know it was as a
girl and the real Alice as me – but hey no relationship is
perfect! By the way would you like to contribute some
money to the M.B.E. fund?"
"I know I'm going to hate myself for asking - but what is the
MBE fund?"
Merton smiles winningly with Alice's former face. "It's My
Breast Enlargement fund!"
I should have known!
Epilog
About a month later.
LORI
Tommy squirms uncomfortably. "Look, Lori, I am sorry I
didn't believe you when you told me about the body switch!
Please! Can I have my body back? I feel weird and sick to
my stomach."
I grin. "I'll think about it." I want to make him sweat. "If I
think you've learned your lesson I will change you back in a
week – right after my period is over!"
He turns white. "Period?" he says weakly. I hand him a box
of Tampons. Tommy looks at them as is they might explode!
This is so cool. At last a man will learn what women go
through every month! Harsh? Maybe. But punishing a
boyfriend is a girl's god given right! Of course I'll swap back.
I love being myself and I am not a thief like Alice but no
need to tell him that!
"Well I'm off to football practice," I say with a bright smile.
At last I will get to play football!
Tommy groans and looks at the box of tampons again.
The end?
By Eric
No Copyright infringement intended. The Characters belong
to Big Wolf Production.
LORI
I had noticed her from time to time. She was a quiet new girl,
rather short and dumpy looking. I was surprised when she
came up to me and as bold as anything and asked me how it
felt to be so pretty and popular. I think my mouth dropped.
What the hell do you say to something like this anyway?
"I never thought about it!" I finally said.
She looked skeptical. She was about 5' tall and as I say
dumpy, flat chested with reddish hair and rather uncool in
her clothes. She said her name was Alice.
"Just be yourself," I said.
ALICE.
Step 12 completed. I had studied her for the whole semester
after deciding she was the one. Aside from the fact she was
gorgeous and popular (things I never would be) Lori was
dating the real hunk of the School - Tommy the starting
quarter back on the football team! I had fallen for him from
the first time I laid eyes on him. Of course he never noticed
me! I checked items off my list. I knew the combination to
her locker, who all her friends were. Lori was really
beautiful and popular, on the student council was a good
athlete – all the things I was not. At least now I was not. But
that would soon change!
It's amazing what a few dollars will buy. I even bugged her
house and knew her relationship with her parents (who were
very well off – another Plus!) I learned kickboxing and
tennis – her two major sports. I wasn't nearly as good as her,
but that would soon change!
Why should I be myself? Who would want to be me –
especially when I could be the beautiful and popular Lori
Baxter! It would be tough on her being me, but she didn't
deserve her good fortune. I did. I had found an old book in a
musty old store. Funny I could never find it again. The guy
in a bathrobe that sold to me claimed to be a wizard. Get
real! He told me it would forever change my life. The book
had a mystical Latin title that translated into "Black Magic
for Dummies!" It had five spells.
Now to meet her friends and boyfriend and not only check
them out but convince them that Alice was an obsessive nut!
I gushed all over them. Major heavy breathing - that Tommy
is a so dreamy! His friend and hanger on Merton is a Goth
jerk, and his hair in spikes is weird. He went up to speak to a
girl and spilled an extra large frosty freeze on her. Man did
she know some cuss words. Then she punched him in the
eye. I find this is not untypical. I wonder why Tommy and
Lori hang around with such a loser! Speaking of Tommy -
wow but is he a hunk! He is so cute! I can't wait for him to
be mine! Right now he finds me unattractive, but that's OK.
That will work to my advantage later. He is really yummy!
I took pictures of Lori everywhere. The picture is the mirror
of the soul.
LORI
I can't believe what a pest Alice is! She even snooped in on
me when I was accessing E-mail. She took a picture and
knows my password. She's really crazy! I try not to punch
her lights out! Later I talk to Tommy about it.
"Tommy, Alice is driving me nuts!"
Tommy shrugged and grinned. "She reminds me of Merton."
"What? He's your best friend!"
"I know, but - well he became my best friend by doing the
things Alice is doing. He followed me everywhere and
latched on and before I knew he was part of my life."
That sends chills up and down my spine! "Alice isn't going
to be part of mine! "
He grinned. Tommy is so cute! I am lucky to have him for
my boyfriend. No only is he a hunk but he is so damn nice! I
feel a stab of guilt. He's nicer than I am. I know I have a
terrible temper. I guess its what kept him a rare good
werewolf. I know I would have been a evil one.
"No, you're tougher than I am and have a wicked temper. I'm
pretty easy going – except when I wolf out!"
I grin and kissed him. Damn here comes Merton again. He's
always a third wheel! Well I'm not the kind of girl who
isolates her boyfriend from his oldest friend – sometimes I
wish I were! Merton is far more trouble than he's worth!
Damn he knocks over a chair again and bumps into someone
again. What a deeb. He would knock over something in the
Sahara desert!
ALICE
I am trying to curb my impatience, but I can't wait to be Lori
Baxter! I've memorized her diary and her mannerisms and
know all her friends by name and face. My schoolwork has
gone down the drain, but who cares. That soon won't be MY
problems. I laugh. Am I mean?
Taking a clue from 'Single White Female' I find a wig that
looks a little like Lori's hair and I spied what she was
wearing and changed into a duplicate outfit.
Tommy comes up and is startled. Good. Lori of course
freaks out big time. I can see steam coming out of her ears.
"Tommy, could I speak to Alice alone?"
He is only too glad to let the two females cat it out!
Lori goes into some rigmarole, which I will also use later.
.
She is so beautiful. Soon I will be! I can't wait any longer. I
grab her hands and recite the spell. A moment of blackness
and then I am looking down on a short plump girl with no
tits wearing a ridiculous looking blond wig! It worked! I
smile broadly. Lori of course looks puzzled. I play with my
beautiful hair and open MY locker and stare into the mirror.
The beautiful, sexy, and popular Lori Baxter stares out! Life
will be wonderful now.
"Alice, why do you look like me?" she finally says in my old
voice.
"I don't only look like you, but I am YOU! " With my
superior size and strength I drag her to the mirror. "And now
you are ME!"
"You'll never get away with it!" she sputters.
Just then one of Lori's best girl friends walks by and says
"Hi, Lori" to ME. I smile Lori's smile and wave Lori's wave.
Lori's mouth drops. My god how could I stand being so
unattractive when I was in that pathetic body?
"Good Luck, ALICE" I say as I walk away with Lori's
confident stride. God, I feel so strong, my body is so lean
and limber! I feel so self assured being so beautiful. Now
Tommy is MINE! I better get to him and the jerk Merton
first and set the stage!
LORI
I can't believe it. It's horrible watching MY body walking
away from me. I am now Alice, short, fat and ugly! Well she
wont get away with it! I need to find Tommy and Merton!
They'll help me get my body back! And when I do I'm going
to pound Alice into strawberry jelly!
ALICE
It's GREAT being Lori! People NOTICE me! They smile
and say hello! Ah there's MY boyfriend and his Goth hanger
on. As soon as I can arrange it Merton has got to go! I hate
freaky people! I rush up to them. Be Lori, I think.
"That freak Alice is gone crazy! She thinks she's me! Do we
call for the white coats or ignore her?"
Tommy looks startled. Merton a usual looks puzzled. Lori –
no 'Alice' – I'm Lori NOW! Comes running up in that
pathetic body.
"Don't listen to her!"
She tries to win them over but I exploded her attempts by
pointing out that she has MY Diary! My plan is working
beautifully! I rush off with Tommy following me. Cool! I've
done it. I am now Lori Baxter!
LORI
Tommy doesn't believe me! He hurries after Alice in my
body!
"Merton, you believe me don't you?"
I'm so relived. He does. I take back all the bad thoughts I had
about him. He's going put me on his cable show and we will
expose the body thief and maybe find someone who can help
me.
ALICE
Tommy comforts me! It's great to in his arms. I smile with
satisfaction. A lifetime of being the desirable Lori Baxter!
I go to my classes and teachers treat me with respect. I know
Lori's schedule of course. Later on in the gym I am amazed
how fast and strong my body is. This is too cool.
'Alice' comes up to me. Poor plain, plump girl.
"Hi Alice, I hope you got over this fantasy of being me?" I
say.
Her plain face turns read.
"You wont get away with this! "
"Look, Alice you have two choices. You can accept who you
are and make the best of it. Be yourself, isn't that what you
once told me. Or things can get worse – they put insane
people away you know."
She refuses to listen. "I'm going on Merton's cable TV show
and will expose you, Alice!"
I smile with superiority and push her out of my way. She
staggers. I am so much stronger than her now! I look up
Merton to find out what's going on. It's too cool! He's going
to expose her as a nut and make fun of her!
I place a call to the probation board; they put me on hold and
I giggle, now Lori is the one with a record! Great, they going
to have someone at the show and see if 'Alice' shows any
violent tendencies. I laugh this is going great!
I spend sometime in front of the mirror turning this way and
that! I smile. It is wonderful being so beautiful!
I watch the show. It's great! The new Alice is playing right
into my hands! She goes ballistic when Merton makes fun of
her and tells the audience she is really Alice! She starts
strangling him.
"This wont look good on your record, 'Alice' " I think,
smiling.
I put my arm through my boyfriends later and we hang out
together. Merton brings over some drinks, its cherry,
normally I don't like cheery but in my new body I do.
Tommy doesn't think I am not acting normally. Lori is very
self-reliant. I have to watch myself.
Merton is laughing about how Alice was arrested and carted
away by the cops. I explain that she has a long history of
stalking and disturbed behavior. Poor Alice, I think. She
made her choice – now's she's in for it.
That night Tommy and I necked for the longest time. It's
great feeling so sexy! I have him all befuddled. Soon he
won't know if up is down and he will accept me totally as
Lori Baxter.
I love my home! My new room is twice the size of my old
and my parents love me! Being Lori is great!
The next day after school I decide to visit 'Alice' in jail. It's
the least I can do. I smile. This is going to be good. I make
sure I wear a really sexy outfit. I sigh with satisfaction in
front of the mirror. Great tits and ass! No wonder my
Tommy loves me!
'Alice' turns red in the face when she sees me! She sputters. I
say sweetly.
"I'm sorry for your problems, Alice; but I had a great time
last time, making out with MY boyfriend Tommy!"
She starts banging on the glass and they drag her away. Poor
delusional girl!
LORI
This is a HORRIBLE nightmare! I'm stuck in this horrible
body! Nobody will believe me. Then Alice shows up and
tells me that she and Tommy are making out! Death is too
good for her. But I've got to control my temper. I think
coolly. If I go on saying I'm Lori I will be put a loony bin
and will never get out! I groan I am going to have to pretend
to be the bitch! I am sentenced to 30 days in a correctional
facility for violating 'my' parole, stalking (a complaint by
Lori Baxter! I will kill the bitch!) AND violent behavior on a
TV shows strangling that idiot Merton. Just great! Along
with Alice's pathetic, short body I have her criminal record.
This just keeps getting better and better!
If I behave myself I will be paroled in the custom of 'MY'
parents' God, Alice's parents are a bunch of losers! The jail
doors clang behind me! It's going to be a long month! I'm in
jail and the real Alice is in my body, living my life, making
out with Tommy and being beautiful and popular. Life sucks
big time!
I have visitors. I hope it's not 'my' whining parents. No, it's
the fake Lori and Tommy together. What can the bitch be up
to? Watch yourself, Lori. Keep your cool. Tommy has his
arm around Alice! God does she look smug.
"Lori, I have to tell you something," Tommy says.
My jaw drops. "You know and believe me now?"
"Yes. But I like Alice better than you!"
"What!!" I find myself screaming.
The bitch kisses him with my lips!
"Yes, Alice gives me sex anytime I ask. So as far as I am
concerned she is the real Lori Baxter now."
"Have a nice life," says 'Lori' with a smug smile.
This is a nightmare! I scream. I wake up. Thank god it WAS
a nightmare. But I can't go back to sleep on my
uncomfortable cot. I rattle the bars. Much good that does me.
I can't help wondering what Alice is doing with my body!
Face, it Lori, I tell myself. In thirty days there is no way
anyone will believe you! The new Lori will have adjusted by
then and everyone will accept her. You're on your own.
Well if I am going to have to live in this poor excuse for a
bod I am going to at least get it in shape! I start exercising!
It is not easy going as this body is in terrible condition.
ALICE
Poor 'Alice' got thirty days of jail time in Juvenile! Such a
pity! Snicker
It's too cool! I JUST FOUND OUT THAT Tommy is a
werewolf! My boyfriend is a werewolf! And I am a body
stealer. We are such soul mates. Its great having such a hunk
all mine! Poor Alice could never have gotten such a
boyfriend. Captain of school football team an all city
quarterback! But I'm the beautiful, popular Lori Baxter! I can
get any guy I want! One day I will make a make a beautiful
bride. I love fighting monsters with him and Merton. I now
know karate and kick boxing. Boy can I kick ass how! Life is
wonderful!
I am successful in explaining any changes in behavior due to
Alice's weirdness. My parents are very understanding.
Fortunately, Merton is so weird he makes everyone else
normal by comparison. It was really freaky one day though,
with my former parents coming over and apologizing for
their daughter's bad behavior. God my – I mean Alice's
parents are just pathetic! I look down on them, cool and
composed. After all I am the beautiful Lori Baxter now! I
smile graciously and say:
"It's OK, I just hope poor Alice can get help."
"Miss Baxter, thank you for being so understanding!" says
Alice's dad.
"I can see why my poor daughter would envy you, Miss
Baxter – you're so beautiful!" Says Alice's mom.
"Thank you, Mrs. Krump," I say pleasantly. I giggle inside.
Poor woman if only she knew how happy her former
daughter is now!
Quietly searching my new house I found old scrapbooks and
older diaries. I'll have to thank 'Alice' for leaving these
around. I visit her from time to time and its great to see her
burn! Now I'm the beautiful, popular Lori Baxter and she the
plain, short Alice Krump and that's the way it's going to stay!
She can't say or do anything now or it's off to a comfortable
padded cell. She never will get away from being Alice as of
course I've destroyed the Magic Spell Book. No sense taking
any chances of losing this great body and life!
LORI
The thirty days seemed like 90. Maybe worse even than
being locked up is all the time I have to spend listening to a
shrink trying to get me 'comfortable' with 'myself'. Gag me!
I must control myself. I do so with great effort. The desire to
strangle him is almost irresistible.
"Thank you Dr. Hamerslogger, I realize that my envy of Lori
Baxter is unhealthy and absurd. I am Alice Krump and will
just be myself from now on!" I say sweetly with a smile
fixed on my face. God I would love to murder him and jump
on the remains! He so invincibly stupid and self-righteous
I am released but it's made clear to me that another act of
violence or stalking – especially against 'that nice Lori
Baxter' and I will be tried and sentenced as an adult! My – I
mean Alice's parents pick me up. To top it all off I have to
back to school and watch Alice living my life! "The body
snatcher must be destroyed!" as they say in Merton's
Frankenstein movies! – But how? The only thing I can think
of is to search her house when I get home to see how she did
it. I spend a week at it - Nothing so far. The answer just got
to be here. It's just got to be here. I can't live the rest of
myself as Alice!
I hate my first day back in school. In someway I would
rather be back in Prison. Everyone looks at me like I have
two heads. Nobody but the Goths will talk to me. Damn here
comes 'Lori Baxter' all smiles. She is hanging on Tommy's
arm. She is dressed sexier than I used to – showing off her –
I mean my great legs in Mini skirt and boots. Tommy is lost
her beautiful eyes. That used to be me! She looks at me and I
can feel her gloating. I will kill the bitch!
Gym class is terrible. I've got a long way to go to get this
body in shape! 'Lori' goes up ropes and does sports while I
puff! Skinning alive is too good for her. When no one else is
around she say things like:
"Just be yourself, Alice." Or "I can't believe how nice it is to
be pretty and popular" or "Tommy and I are going to make
out point!"
Life sucks!
ALICE
Lori being Alice and her abject misery makes my happiness
complete! I've made every school team I've gone out for.
Tommy just adores me and we are seeing no one else. I am
called into the councilor's office. I grin - better and better. I
can't wait to tell 'Alice'!
"Oh, Alice " I say sweetly. Her envious eyes make me feel
great. I will never forget the first day back in school when
she had to say 'Lori, I am sorry I stalked you' Right in front
of the entire school or get sent back to jail! Life was never
sweeter than at that moment. From then on I WAS Lori and
she Alice!
"Yes, 'Lori'?"
She has to call me by MY name or back to jail she goes!
"I thought you would like to know. I've been accepted to my
favorite University!" I show her the letter. She turns white.
"To bad you will have to repeat a year because of your
'problems'". I laugh and move away.
Tommy and I go out and celebrate tonight! What a night!
LORI
The only people who accept me at school are the Goths!
They think its cool that I am a dangerous criminal! A
beginning of a plan forms. I need a power base. No sense
talking to that fool Tommy. Alice in my beautiful body has
him wrapped around her finger – not to mention other places
if the rumors are true! I replace poor Merton as the President
of the Goth's. Poor, desperate Merton even begs me to go
out. He's just pathetic! I think his longest relationship was
like 60 seconds! If it weren't for Tommy's friendship he
would be one of the most unpopular kid in school – what a
geek. Even the other Goths try to avoid him. Nothing he does
turns out right. My folks wonder why I have no 'normal'
friends'! What a laugh. I spend as much time as possible
everyday searching the house. The answer to my body thief
has just got to be here. It has just got to be. I can't the rest of
my time in Alice's pathetic body with the real Alice living
my wonderful life and rubbing it in every chance she gets!
Give it up, Lori – or should I say 'Alice'! I had just finished
the last part of the house – the attic – there's nothing here!
Then, as I am walking in out of the attic which I've torn apart
when I hear a floor bell creak under my foot. With hope I
drop down. What's this - a loose board? Underneath is a
book in Latin. This is it! This must be it. I translate it. Black
Magic for Dummies. Thank god Alice neither burned it or
took it with her! What a break. (Somewhere, did an old man
in a robe smile?)
I pretend to be sick that day and stay home alone to study it.
The book has six spells. I look at the last one. I'm sure glad
the bitch didn't use this one on me!
There's the spell I will need to make a potion out of her and
my hair. OK. Then I need to say a few magic words grasp
both arms. Then we will switch. Looks easy and I remember
her mutter something just before everything went black.
Shit! This is no good. She will just switch us back right
away! Also, how will I get close enough or have her not on
guard when I approach. She's not going to be a sucker like
me and just stand there to have her body stolen! I go to bed. I
wake up the next morning with a plan. Its brilliant if I do say
so myself.
I steal into 'Lori's' Locker. She was too arrogant to change
the compo and get some of her hair. Now there someone else
I need to talk to.
That went well. Lori – I mean Alice you're going down but
good!
ALICE
Merton comes up to me in his usual clumsy way.
"Lori if I tell you something about Tommy will you promise
not to tell him I told you?"
I'm dying of curiosity. "OK." So I will meet him after school
at the lair.
Later I look at him. "Well!"
"He's seeing another girl!"
Red fury boils up within me. How could he do this to me,
Lori Baxter? I've been so nice to him and I'm the prettiest,
sexy girl in school!
"I'm sorry, Lori," he says taking both my hands.
I'm in shock. Then I hear him mumble some words. I try and
pull away. Then it is too late! There is darkness and then
light. Then I am staring at myself Lori Baxter and I'm in
Merton J Hingle's unpopular, insignificant MALE body. I
grab for what used to be my arms, but Merton the evil body
thief whirls and kicks me right in the balls. I crumple in
agony. I see Alice coming. She has a vile. Oh, no they're in
this together! My former body punches me in the stomach
and I gasp for air. Between them they force a potion down
my throat. I faint.
When I come to I am looking at two girls. One is a very
pretty, blond with a terrific figure. The other is shorter, and a
little plum and plain – she's wearing Goth clothes and has a
Goth haircut. I feel I should know them, but I can't
remember. With fear I can't remember who I am!
"Who am I?" I ask.
The beautiful girl smiles. "You are Merton J Dingle. I am
Lori Baxter. This is your girl friend Alice."
Alice smiles and hugs me. "Yes, you adore me! And will do
anything for me!"
"I do? I will?" I look in the mirror. Yuck, I guess I am a real
freak. I'm lucky to have ANY girl friend.
The beautiful Lori Baxter smiles and says" I guess I will
leave you two lovebirds alone. Alice, you will fill Morton in
on himself, won't you?"
Alice nods vigorously, "You bet!" She says and knocks over
a table.
I don't feel right somehow. AM – I really this Merton?
Somehow, it doesn't feel right?
But my girl friend Alice shows me videos of myself when I
had a TV show – Damn! I have as much charisma as a sack
of wet mice. Then I see home videos of me, my best friend
Tommy and the beautiful Lori Baxter. I must have been
obsessed with myself because there's scrapbooks with a
detailed history of my pitifully life with photos. What a
geek! I am lucky to have Alice for a girlfriend. She tells me
this too. I feel lost and lonely and feel so grateful when she
takes me into the bedroom and we have sex.
LORI
It's so great to be me again! I look in the mirror and smile.
Hello Lori Baxter! I throw my arms up wildly in the air and
dance. I sing a song I heard in a movie " Happy days are here
again!" Same old lousy voice, but who cares I am Lori
Baxter again. I will approach my good fortune better now, I
assure myself! It's great to go home to my real parents. How
I missed them! They are surprised to get warm hugs from
me.
"I missed you both!"
"You saw us this morning, dear." Says my puzzled Mom.
Once again I look in the mirror. Welcome back, body!
There's no place like home!
Tommy comes over. I don't know whether to forgive him or
not for not noticing the difference between me and that
monster Alice! But I guess I will, after all he is only a man!
On the way to school the next morning I have a big grin on
MY face. My plan worked beautifully! Merton was eager to
help. He is so tired of being a nobody. As Alice he would be
leader of the Goths and almost everybody in school would be
afraid of him, the vileont criminal Alice Krump. Before even
the mice sneered and old librarians bullied him. Also, he
could then get laid. I talked him into a body swap and then
swapped with an unsuspecting Alice in my body. I knew I
could get her off guard in Merton's body and telling her the
fable of Tommy seeing another girl.
She's being punished big time now. Now only does she have
no memory, but thinks she is Merton! She will have to go
through life as him. A fate worse than death? I see 'Alice'
ordering a hen picked 'Merton' around all day. A stunned
'Merton' keeps saying. 'Yes, dear.' After classes I see 'Alice'
come up to me all smiles.
"Thanks, Lori! I finally got laid last night! I know it was as a
girl and the real Alice as me – but hey no relationship is
perfect! By the way would you like to contribute some
money to the M.B.E. fund?"
"I know I'm going to hate myself for asking - but what is the
MBE fund?"
Merton smiles winningly with Alice's former face. "It's My
Breast Enlargement fund!"
I should have known!
Epilog
About a month later.
LORI
Tommy squirms uncomfortably. "Look, Lori, I am sorry I
didn't believe you when you told me about the body switch!
Please! Can I have my body back? I feel weird and sick to
my stomach."
I grin. "I'll think about it." I want to make him sweat. "If I
think you've learned your lesson I will change you back in a
week – right after my period is over!"
He turns white. "Period?" he says weakly. I hand him a box
of Tampons. Tommy looks at them as is they might explode!
This is so cool. At last a man will learn what women go
through every month! Harsh? Maybe. But punishing a
boyfriend is a girl's god given right! Of course I'll swap back.
I love being myself and I am not a thief like Alice but no
need to tell him that!
"Well I'm off to football practice," I say with a bright smile.
At last I will get to play football!
Tommy groans and looks at the box of tampons again.
The end?