Ya'aburnee {n.} "you bury me."
A declaration of one's hope that they'll die before another person, because of how difficult it would be to live without them.

1.

Aang remembers very clearly. It's the kind of conversation he isn't able to forget. The words were pressed gently, fiercely into the core of his soul. And when Zuko confessed, there was this fatal guilt in his eyes which broke Aang's heart. To love, to be loved – of course Aang isn't going to be angry, or upset, but overjoyed.

Lately, the love Zuko has felt for Katara has been obvious.

They grew up. Aang and Katara, so embodied in their work, simply saw less of each other. The birth of Republic City is frantically approaching. To have time for each other – it was impossible. Although Aang is the adventurous sort, Katara can't sit still. She's everywhere, searching for potential Benders to teach, passing on her wisdom, discovering more about the beauty of manipulating water.

When they were children, young teenagers, he and Katara were inseparable. As a child, it is devastatingly easy to feel attached to another human being. The worry of loyalty, time, intimacy – they're just myths. At the age of twenty-three, Aang understands how their love waded. What he feels for her now is still just as intense, but calmer. A mutual feeling they share. He had to let her go, let her live without him trailing behind.

Zuko was always there, from the start. Aang noticed him. Aang noticed the looks he gave her, the rare smiles, that kind of sweeping agony in his chest, desperate to burst with the overwhelming amount he felt for this girl. After all, Aang had been there too. Loving Katara is soft, warm, and like drowning. Kicking and shoving the thick water, gasping, panicking, needing oxygen, and yet constantly being swept into the surf.

So, when Zuko had to stop their game of Pai Sho, Aang looked at him.

There was a brief pause while Zuko tried to find the correct words, and just as he held his breath to speak, Aang raised his hand. And, he smiles: 'I know,' he says. 'Don't worry, Zuko. I've known maybe before you knew.'

For a second, Zuko allows himself to feel relieved. 'But – what about you?'

'I still love her. I don't think I'll ever stop loving her. I–' Aang lowers his shoulders, and ponders whether he shouldn't reveal too much. He glances at Zuko, who watches him with a mixture of sympathy and understanding. An apology dangerously approaching his lips. 'I want my friends to be happy. If you make Katara happy, and if she makes you happy, then that makes me happy.'

'You're not mad?'

'Zuko, what would be the point? I would gain nothing. I may have feelings for her, but we've realised we just – aren't. I'm not right for her. Maybe I'm not right for anybody. I don't know if Avatars are supposed to fall in love, or marry somebody, or have children. I think I just wasn't supposed to be with her. Whatever it is, that isn't your fault, so, no, I'm not mad. I'm pleased, actually! To see you two move on together, it's a good thing.'

It will always astonish Zuko how a person like Aang exists.

Living his whole life scorned and criticised, Zuko doesn't know how to react. Aang isn't angry. He isn't upset. He is happy for him. And that is exactly the kind of person Aang is: simply loving. His best, and yet most fatal fault. An emotional creature, too emotional, incapable of managing them; and, so, therefore, he just hides.

Zuko isn't a fool. To watch Katara walk away with another man – nobody with a heart wouldn't feel something.

So he waits, patiently – waits for Aang to change his mind. Speak. Point his finger at him, and yell, and scream, and cry, and how fucking dare you do this to me? But Aang smiles again, sincere as ever, and continues their game of Pai Sho.

Of course, the memory stays. Aang remembers every syllable shared between them. How Zuko looked at him. How for the remainder of their game, he was able to ignore what the problem was. Because, yes, he is happy, so happy for his two best friends. Because who is Aang kidding? They should have been together. It was always Zuko.

Avatars aren't meant to belong – that's as much as Aang can fathom.

On the rare occasion, a raid is necessary in order to not just locate a criminal, but to ensure they're behind bars. A man of justice, Aang is willing to help. The police are fans of the Avatar, and upon hearing he will be lending a hand, excitement flutters between each of them. However, to their disgruntlement, the Avatar only requires one police officer to assist him on this mission, and his request is specific.

Nobody dares make a remark towards Toph Beifong. The Earthbender has achieved a significant rank already at her young age, and they know better than to antagonise her. Besides, she's not exactly over the moon that Aang chose her either. In fact, not really to Aang's surprise, he is met with a scowl.

'Really?'

'For old time's sake,' he grins.

He swears he hears her mutter pathetic, before reluctantly leaving alongside him. Neither have seen each other in several months – which isn't anything unusual. Toph prefers her own company. So he can't help but feel extra happy to be around her. Although Toph is severely skilled in wearing a mask of complete disinterestedness and exaggerated grumpiness, he has a hunch she, somewhere in that steel heart of hers, feels the same.

The plan is simple. The man they're after is a chi-blocker, who has hidden himself away further north. While his exact location isn't known, Toph and Aang are pretty adept in discovering another man's whereabouts. Earthbending has its uses. For Toph especially, it is ridiculously easy to identify somebody by the sound of their feet, and walking pattern. She can use her seismic senses for miles, too, which is an added bonus.

Wisely, he keeps talk brief until they're there. The land is vast, mainly grass and hillsides, which they use to their advantage. From where they are, they won't be spotted, and it allows Toph to sense their target's whereabouts. All it takes now is to wait, and, sometimes, waiting can be a long time. Aang makes himself comfortable.

There is a cool breeze in the air, and he shudders a little. Glancing at Toph, he wonders how much warmth her clothes keep in. The uniform provided is smart, flexible, and yet the slight armour owes as decent protection. It still throws him at times to witness her dressed this way. As a child, Toph was very laid back on her appearance, mostly due to her eagerness to be the exact opposite of what her parents raised her to be.

Now, Toph has grown out of that behaviour, far more focussed on her work than anything else. Aang can't help but find her terribly similar to Katara in that regard.

'How have you been anyway?'

Toph sighs loudly. 'I really am not in the mood for small-talk, sweetpea.'

Aang pulls a face at the name. 'Right. Well, I'm fine, thank you for asking.'

'Trying to care,' Toph pauses, 'Nah, just can't hack it, sorry.'

He has missed her sarcasm. 'By the way, I was meaning to tell you this later on, but I have a proposition for you.'

'Oh, yeah?'

'As you know, Republic City is already forming well. I've visited a few times – actually, I was hoping you might visit too. Obviously I need the city to be protected, from Benders and non-Benders, and I don't know anybody else who would do the job better than you.' He swallows, now beginning to feel nervous. Toph hasn't reacted at all. In fact, he's not sure if she's stopped listening. 'I want you to be my Chief of Police.'

'Ah,' she mutters, 'Y'know, you could've started with that, Twinkletoes.'

'Will you? Honestly, I can't think of anybody else.'

Toph laughs quietly. 'What if I refused, then? You'd be fucked.'

'True.' She nearly hates him for not denying it. 'Come on, Toph. I know you want this opportunity. You love your job, and I think you would love it even more if you were given sole responsibility over your officers. You're an efficient leader, you're powerful, you're intelligent, and you're also–'

'Look, as flattered as I am, you can quit the babbling – it's annoying.'

'Oh. Sorry.'

Inhaling contentedly, Toph leans back, 'All right. I'll visit.'

Aang immediately beams ear-to-ear. 'You will? Thank you! Oh, you're going to love it there, Toph. And the views!' He stops short. '... well, not the views, I guess…'

'This is excruciating. Aang, I've already told you that I'll come along. So drop it, okay?'

'Okay.'

It falls silent again. To the point of Aang having to twiddle his thumbs. Maybe this is why Toph was so reluctant to join him. She knew he would start rambling on about every thought in his mind, until she eventually told him to just stop. On a raid, too. And raids demand patience, quick intuitive, and, most importantly, quiet.

The wind drops when night occurs. Toph remains focussed on the job, waiting. Aang hasn't let down his guard either, but he is mildly distracted by the stars. It was something Katara and he used to do when they were younger: stargaze. Figure out what shapes the stars were creating together. If they meant anything.

He lies down into the grass, hands behind his head, and loses himself in it all. Is this what Zuko would want to do with Katara as well? Watch the stars? Aang frowns. To be honest, he's never considered Zuko the romantic type, but Zuko has never once failed to surprise him. Really, the man is soft at heart, so maybe he does enjoy watching the stars as well.

There's a sharp sting. Aang feels it deeply. Something instant, jabbing at him. The sort of pain which oozes from his heart, across his lungs, to the rest of his body. What makes him want to keel over and wail out.

The sort of hurt he endured when he discovered everybody he ever loved was dead.

'Aang?'

'Yeah?' No answer. Aang turns his head, 'What is it?'

'Nothing. I was just checking you hadn't fallen asleep.'

'I haven't,' Aang replies. 'I'm watching the stars.' Again, no answer. 'Want to join?'

'Do I really need to state the obvious?'

Aang chuckles. 'You don't have to watch the stars just to be with me, Toph. I meant I–I just… Won't you come and lie with me?'

'I'm working.'

'So am I.'

'Pft, yeah.'

Aang shrugs. 'All right, then. I won't push you.'

One minute passes where they're silent again. He can't really focus on the stars anymore, more concerned about the fact Toph won't come over to join him, and maybe, just maybe, he insulted her. Sometimes, it is difficult to tell.

Then, to his astonishment, Toph says, 'I know,' and walks over to where he lays.

A smile reaches his lips when she lies beside him, a hand resting on her stomach, the other on the ground. 'Thanks,' he says. Sighing, he faces the sky again, and almost instinctively, points towards an array of stars, 'Doesn't that look like a Dragon Moose?'

'For fuck's sake.'

'I know, sorry, I – sorry.'

She shakes her head briefly. 'It's okay. If anything, it's kinda nice.'

'What do you mean?'

'Eh,' she shrugs. 'Sometimes, my blindness is all people see, so… they tend to avoid me, in the hopes they can avoid, well–' she gestures to her face, '–this. It doesn't happen as much anymore, but when I first started out as an officer – I dunno, I guess it's hard for people to understand. The fact you forget is just refreshing.'

Rolling onto his stomach, Aang props himself on one elbow. 'I'm sorry. I – I guess I forget too much. I know you don't want to make a big deal of it, but I suppose it can get frustrating.'

'Not with you,' she allows. Aang blinks. 'Can we change the topic?'

'Sure.'

'Why'd she dump you?'

Aang needs a moment to comprehend what she just asked. His hand falls, and he's stunned. 'How did you know?'

'I know,' Toph mutters. 'You're an open book, Twinkletoes. Especially with me.'

'Heh.' He pulls at the grass. 'Katara and I had grown distant somewhat. We're still best friends. But…' Aang pauses. '... I had to let her go. I don't think I deserved her in the end. She was – I know how this sounds, but she was my dream.' He blinks, raises a brow, pulls at another strand of grass. Does everything he can to avoid Toph's expression. 'I really… I really loved her. But I don't know if Avatars are supposed to feel–' so much.

'You do feel a lot.'

'Oh.'

Toph sits upright. Aang thinks she's lost interest, but he realises she's carefully trying to pick the right words. 'Give yourself some credit, Twinkletoes. You were kids back then. And, as far as I know, I don't think it's a bad thing for you to feel emotions. Eh, whatever. Emotions are a human thing. We've all got them, just some of us feel them more intensely than others. That doesn't make you any less deserving of being – uh, loved, I guess.'

'At the time, she was all I wanted.'

'Is that still the case?'

'... I can't let it. Thinking about her, just her face – it hurts.'

'Don't take this the wrong way, but if the thought of her causes you pain, then maybe parting ways for a while wasn't a bad idea.'

Aang considers this. He raises himself, looks at her. 'You're right.' Even so, he doesn't feel any better. 'I told Zuko I was happy for them, and I am. I'm really happy, but–'

'Bullshit,' Toph cuts through. 'The whole time I've been with you, you've not been happy at all. At least spare what dignity you've got left, and admit it.'

'Toph, it's not that easy.'

'Yes, it is.'

'Is it? So, when was the last time you were in love?' Aang nearly hits himself. Of all things to say, why that? 'I'm sorry, I–'

'Hey, don't beat yourself up. You've never asked, so I've never told.'

'... have you been in love…?'

Toph snorts, and stands to her feet. 'This is boring.' She walks past him, and Aang is frozen in place, uncertain what to think or feel. 'Anyway, I think it's time to get back to work. Our friend is not too far away now.' Slightly relieved they have something else to focus on, Aang shoots to his feet, and joins her. 'Let's make this quick, Twinkletoes. I'll capture him. You just do what you're good at, and look pretty. Or whatever it is you're supposed to be doing.'

'Very funny,' Aang sighs. 'By the way, we're twenty-three now, Toph. Do you think you can stop with the nicknames?'

'Afraid not.'

'Hang on–' Toph tightens the metal a little too viciously, causing their target to yell out in pain, '–aren't you technically one hundred and twenty three?'

'Easy, Toph.' Once the metal has been loosened, he replies: 'That makes it worse, actually.'

Once their target is safely handcuffed, on the ground, and ready to be transferred to a prison cell, Aang has to admit: that was swiftly done. He and Toph have always been a good team, but he can't recall the last time they worked so perfectly together. It didn't take them long to take down their target at all. With a skilled Earthbender, and the Avatar himself, it was easy.

He places a hand on her shoulder. 'You're right: I am that old. So… you don't still think that, maybe, perhaps, possibly, you could stop calling me Twinkletoes?'

'That's just not gonna happen. I'd say I'm sorry, but I would be lying.'

'Very well.' He grabs the target, and hoists him to his feet. 'Shouldn't be too long of a journey back. Are you coming?'

'Right behind ya. Twinkletoes.'

He pouts at her grin. But, as he drags their target along, Toph sticking to her word, and following – there's something familiar in his stomach. A warmth he's felt before, but a while ago. A familiar sensation to what home once felt like.

While it has mostly been in silence, his time with Toph has been a relief.

The Avatar is welcomed back with open arms. The target taken away. Toph won't admit they did a good job, nor will she compliment him like everybody else, but she doesn't demand he leave immediately. And that's something.

All that is left to do is the paperwork. Being blind, Toph can only vocally state what occurred on the field, and it gives Aang an idea. There must be a way for Toph to read and write. Or, at least, read. So, in what little amount of time he has left, he finds a chunk of metal, and using Waterbending, indents a few letters into the metal.

When he's finished, he places the metal onto her desk. 'Try this.'

'For what?'

'Just try.' Unconvinced, Toph slowly pulls the metal towards her. At first, she presses her palm across, feeling the indented letters beneath. That's when she slowly trails her fingertips over each letter. 'I know you can't read, or figure out what these letters means, but I can teach you – if you like. It might help in your career.'

As if the metal has sent an electric shock through her, Toph retreats from the metal. She pushes it back to him. 'You're wasting your time. Anyway, don't you have somewhere to be now? It's late.' She frowns. 'And, please, don't tell me you've got nowhere else to be.'

'No, don't worry,' he chuckles. 'I'll go. I just wanted to say good bye.'

'Okay. Then say it.'

He tries not to feel the harshness of her tone. And, inevitably, fails. Rounding the desk, he places a hand on her shoulder, and suddenly, time stills. It's the worst kind of feeling which makes Toph so tense, she's almost certain her lungs have caved in.

Maybe Aang feels it too, she isn't sure; she doesn't want to know.

Then he squeezes, tenderly, affectionately – as if to plead, I'll stay if you ask.

'Good bye,' he says.

'See ya.'

It feels like an eternity until she can't hear his footsteps anymore. And his absence couldn't be any louder.