He wanted to go i nthere and tell his husband that everything was okay. That they would get past this and their family would be okay. That two years wasn't all they could have as a married couple. He wanted to let Steve know that Stephanie and Avery weren't going to lose their father at the young age of two years and some odd days old, or that Kameron wouldn't loose his father when he wasn't even one yet. He wanted to tell Steve that for once, things were going to go their way.
He couldn't though.
Sadly, Tango was used to this. He was used to things going badly for them. Maybe it had been a sign when Steve tried to leave him maybe a day or two after they started dating. Maybe every time after that he threatened to leave was like an omen from the gods, telling them to end it now before things went too far. Neither of them were very smart though, neither of them could know something would go wrong. Their heads were clouded with bliss, with the feeling of having eachother, and having a family.
His dark, chocolate eyes followed the doctor down the hall. He slowly moved after him, not making a sound. His hair was tousled and his clothing was crinkled. His cheeks were red, as were his eyes, and there were water streaks that indicated that he had been crying. Everytime Tango tried to wipe them off though, nothing happened. The breaths he took in were shallow, were hardly there. The white paper in the male's hand infront of him wrinkled as the doctor tightened his fingers on it, taking a deep breath before he pushed into Mr. Gonsalves-Tango's room. He slipped in before the door could close, staying near it as the older gentlemen went over to his husband's bed, shaking his shoulder gently. "Mr. Tango, you need to wake up."
The only thing in his mind was that HE should be the one waking up Steve. That it should be HIS face that was the first thing the male saw. HIS voice the first thing that his baby heard. Griding his teeth together, he rolled his shoulders, watching as Steve slowly started to stir, blinking his eyes rapidly.
"Mm, yeah? 'M up" The words were mumbled, and Tango knew it would still be five more minutes or so before he was actually conscious, it always was. He knew everything about Steve. He knew how he slept, always on his left side, his right leg over Tango's. He knew that in the morning before work, no matter what time it was, he had to have waffles. How he would do anything for his twins, even putting on Steph's little tiara when she asked.
A little sniffle went through the quiet room before the doctor spoke, but no payed it much mind. That was okay, it wasn't something that had to be awknowledged. "Mr. Tango, you got through the surgery perfectly. Your vitals are already looking better than before. I think it's safe to say that you'll make a perfect recovery."
The words, though they were supposed to be a comfort, obviously didn't do what they were supposed to do. Tango watched silently in his corner as Steve looked around the room, his brow steadily growing more furrowed with the realization of what was missing. He knew that the male put the two things together quickly - he was healing, he had the surgery.. but Tango was missing. He watched as his husband's eyes instantly got glassy, his jaw clenching before he let it go. "W-where's Dave? Can you send him in here please? I need to see him."
He waited silently, still, as the doctor shifted where he stood, his eyes going down to his hand and the paper in it. Even as the male held out his hand, he didn't say a word. "Sir, I ask that you read this, and call the nurse when you're done. I'll be back when you're done."
That was all, and it made Tango want to scream. He knew Steve could already guess what happened, where he was. Maybe even what the paper said, but the doctor couldn't even say it? "Fucking chicken." The words slipped out as the door closed behind the male. He finally moved, quietly going forward to stand beside Steve's bed as he stared at the paper. Tango could see his hand shaking, and he wanted nothing more than to reach out and grab it. To steady it, to hold the paper open for him, but he couldn't. His own eyes were filled with the sensation of tears, of needing to cry, but nothing came. It was just a rememberence of the feeling, not actually happening. He watched as the paper got unfolded, shaking in Steve's hand as he read.
"'And I'd fight for you, I'd lie, it's true. Give my life for you, you know I'd always come for you.' I love you, baby, don't forget that. Don't forget our song, okay? Remember the words, because it's not just a song. It was always a promise between us. I would always come for you, I would do anything for you. I knew you for seven years, but for me, life started when I met you. It was like all the time before that, it meant nothing. Nothing did without you. All my fears, my goals, they revolved around you and our family. I know you told me to promise, but Steve, I had to. The twins, Kam, they both need you. It isn't fair to you, god I know that. You don't deserve to wake up every day hurting. I couldn't wake up, though, knowing that I could have saved the one person that I had ever loved. You have to promise me you won't be stupid, now. You have to take care of yourself. Of the twins. You have to keep fighting, and let yourself heal. Get married, baby, fall in love. You deserve it, you deserve everything and more. I'll never leave you. I'm always watching, and I'll be there with you every step of the way. When you wake up, I'll be there to say Good Morning and Good Night when you go to sleep. I'll be there to tell you I Love You, and if you get married, I'll smile and stand next to you when you say I Do. I love you, Steve. You're strong. Just don't forget me. Remember our song."
He carefully sat down next to Steve, wrapping an arm around him. He pressed a kiss to the top of his head, and tried with all his might to let Steve knew that he was here. That while he was gone physically, he would always stand by him. He refused to move on until he knew the male would be okay. The tears that fell from his husband, every single one, tore his heart apart. It was going to be hard, he knew that, and he felt horrbile for putting him through this, but he had to. At least he was alive, that is what mattered.
"Damn it, Tango..." He winced, and the sensation of crying, of sobbing, wracked his body. He wanted to do it, to just cry and hold Steve and say things would be okay. He laid next to the male, resting his head on Steve's shoulder. He couldn't comfort him though. A hand slipped up, resting above Steve's heart. He felt the pounding of it under his hand, and it jumped slightly when his hand rested there. It seemed the tears eased just for a moment. That is why he had chosen to stay here after it was all said and done. Steve knew he wouldn't lie. That he would be here for him every day. Maybe he could feel him, Tango didn't know, but he had to try. It was hard to stay there as Steve cried, curling onto his side as good as he could thanks to the machines hooked up to him, finding his way into an awkward balled up position.
The entire time he stayed, running his hand along the male's side. The tears never eased, but he knew they wouldn't. Even as he fell back asleep, never having called the doctor back in, the tears fell silently in his dreams... or nightmares, now. Tango never moved, though. He wouldn't move. Not until Steve was okay.
It was a promise. He would do anything for him. Even give up his own life. His rights on the earth and to call Steve his own. And as screwed up as it was, he really wished Steve would move on, faster than would seem right, and find someone that could help him heal.
Leaning down, he pressed his lips to Steve's temple, sighing out gently as the male's breath hitched in his throat.
"I love you, Steve."