"Idiot!"
The hissed word cut through the haze of Jasmine's embarrassment. The patient was glaring at her in utter disgust, and she dropped the IV needle onto the floor as sheer panic took over her system. Meeting Morven's eye, she jerked her head towards the woman before turning on her heel and sprinting for the ward doors.
It would be one thing if Ms Campbell was still here, and she could turn into her office and seek advice. But even that door was closed to her now, now that she had gone on an extended leave. And Ms. Wolfe was not an option to speak with, either, seeing as how she had rightfully taken Ms. Campbell's side.
Swiping away tears, she made for the lift and blindly stepped inside, pressing the button for the top floor and then trying to make herself as small as possible in the corner of the car. As the lift continued upwards, she tried to keep her sniffles quiet, not wanting to add grist to the hospital rumor mill. And then, a large, warm, hand was resting itself on her shoulder, and she was looking up into the entirely too kind eyes of Mister Hanssen.
"Doctor Burrows, are you on your way to the roof?" he asked lowly, and she gave a small nod before looking away from him. She had treated him badly before, and wasn't certain how to act around him now. "Would you mind if I joined you?"
Jasmine darted her eyes back up to his face, trying to suss out if he was being serious. There was no trace of mockery or derision on his face, and so she felt free to shake her head. "I think I might like that," she murmured lowly before pulling away from him slightly, trying to ignore the fact that tears were still rolling down her cheeks.
Ever the gentleman, he pulled out a handkerchief and handed it over. Jasmine hesitated before using it, gazing at the snow white linen square, seeing the faint HH stitched into one corner. Taking a closer look, she realized that the entire piece had been stitched by hand, the spacing between stitches almost inhumanely perfect. "They're made to be used, Doctor Burrows."
"This is too fine to ruin with my tears," she whispered, worrying the soft fabric between her fingers. "I ruin everything, you know. It's just who I am."
The elevator doors slid open, and she let out a squeak of surprise when Mister Hanssen spread his hand out on her shoulder blade to guide her from the elevator and over to the stairwell to complete their journey to the roof. It was only when they were taking a seat on the ledge that he removed his hand and began to speak. "You give your demons entirely too much power over you when you believe those lies, Doctor Burrows."
"What if it's true, though? I didn't use my best level of care with Elinor, and look what happened. I destroyed her." She wasn't really certain which her she was referring to, and it didn't surprise her when she started crying once more. "I'm just an idiot girl who thought she could make her mother proud by being exactly like her golden child sister." Delicately, she dabbed at her cheeks with the handkerchief, breathing in the comforting scent of his cologne.
"Words have the tendency to cut us much more sharply than a sword, Doctor Burrows."
"Jasmine. I mean, we're up here, where no one can hear us. It feels weird to have you address me that way."
"Why?"
"Because I don't feel like a doctor. Not anymore."
She watched from the corner of her eye as his hand reached out and hovered above her knee. Jasmine nodded a little, giving him a brief smile, and then his hand was resting on her knee almost respectfully. Which didn't help things, it just made her cry all the harder. And then, and then, she was stupidly leaning against his chest, sobbing her heart out. "Jasmine," he said softly as he awkwardly settled his arm around her, letting her huddle in close to him as she sobbed.
"She's dead, and Ms Campbell hates me, and I've been making mistake after mistake. I almost destroyed your career, and Mister Griffin's, and I'm so tired. Do you know how hard it is to paste on a fake cheery façade every day?"
"No, because I am allowed to be taciturn and severe." She nodded as she went to rub her cheek against his suit coat, only to check herself at the last moment, not wanting to get makeup on the obviously expensive fabric. "And Ms Campbell is deep in grief, what you think she feels about you might not be the truest."
"Don't lie to me."
"I try not to lie, Jasmine. Now, I know that you were kind to Jason once, and I have something that needs to be delivered to him at the house. Would you kindly do me the favour of dropping it by?"
"Why me?"
"Because sometimes, we need to face our fears and realise that the giants in our minds are mere figurines in reality. And because Jason needs someone else besides me checking in on him. I don't want to order you to do this, but I will, if I must."
Jasmine drew in a deep breath as she sat up to look into his eyes. "I suppose. I do owe you, after all." He shook his head. "I do. And I always repay my debts." He gave her a small nod before standing and extending his hand to her. She clasped it firmly, allowing him to lead her down to his office.
It was a silent journey, and then she was accepting the small stack of magazines from his hand. She went to give the handkerchief back, but he shook his head a little. "Keep it."
She gave a sharp nod before heading out to the lift and waiting for it. Thankfully, there was no one else waiting, and she was able to scoot down to AAU and get changed without having to speak to anyone. Then, she was out in the car park and climbing behind the wheel of her old vehicle, starting it up and heading out.
It was only when she was underway that she realized she had no idea where Ms Campbell lived. Once more, she was in luck, as Mister Hanssen had texted her the address at almost her exact moment of need. Tapping on it, she let her GPS guide her the fifteen miles. And listening to the directions also allowed her to not think about the confrontation certain to come.
It was only when she parked outside the veritable mansion that her supervisor called home that nerves started to flutter at her chest. However, she was certain Mister Hanssen would know she had decided to don a yellow feather, and so Jasmine took a deep breath and climbed out of her car, slowly walking to the door.
Still, it took her few moments to knock on the door and then she was left waiting. It was only when she heard the familiar cadence of Ms Campbell approaching her that she wondered what she would say when the door was open. And then, the door was opening, and a tear streaked face was staring at her, anger and grief warring for dominance. "What are you doing here?"
Jasmine was barely prepared for those words, and she held the magazines out as a peace offering. "I've come to see Jason. And apologise." Ms Campbell's face softened for a moment before she nodded and moved aside, letting Jasmine in and without thinking, she reached out for the woman's hand, squeezing tightly as if she didn't want to ever let go.