Bane of Anguish

Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter or anything affiliated with it. It belongs to J.K. Rowling and WB, etc.

ooo

The battle was done, over. The pain was still fresh on his mind, a bleeding wound that would never be healed. At least to Remus, that was how it felt.

It had been months since the Final Battle and he was still suffering from night-terrors and haunting memories. Losing his wife was a blow that he felt he would never recover from. Even worse, he had an infant son who still depended on him, needed him for everything. He was reminded of how he walked out on Tonks when she had told him of her pregnancy, and again, close to the birth of his son. Thank God for Harry, who helped him come to terms with everything, time and time again.

It wasn't fair. He should be the adult. He should be the one dead, not his wife. It just wasn't fair!

He heard screaming coming from the cot in the nursery and got up to tend to his child. Teddy still needed him and he wasn't about to cause the small child any more pain in his life. When he reached the open doorway, he saw Teddy being rocked in Harry's arms, who was cooing softly to the whimpering child.

"Was he wet?" Remus whispered to Harry. "No," he replied, "He was hungry. I'm heating up a bottle now. Do you want to give it to him?" Rather than answer, he nodded his head and grabbed the bottle before sitting in the comfortable chair in the corner. Harry brought him the baby and stood beside him, silently watching for a few minutes. After Teddy was burped and quiet again, Remus laid him back in his cot and followed Harry out of the room.

They walked to the sitting room on the same floor in companionable silence. Once sitting next to each other on a sofa, Harry looked to Remus. "Hey. Are you okay?" Remus started to open his mouth and reply that yes, everything was just great, when he thought better of it and told his would-be godchild the truth.

"No. Nothing has been all-right in a while."

"I know what you mean, Remus. All of it is … just too much. I'm not sure … "He trailed off, his voice getting softer with each word. "You're not … you're not thing about-" Remus was cut off by Harry's firm voice before he could finish what he was going to insinuate. "NO. No, Remus. I wouldn't. You and Teddy, you need me. Actually, I think we all need each other."

Remus was shocked into silence because of how true it was. After the battle, Harry had come with Remus, mostly to be able to mourn in peace, away from nosy reporters and Ministry officials who wanted way too much from Harry, way too soon. He had helped take care of Teddy, and Remus, too, to some degree. They had come to rely on each other in the last few months.

After realizing how cramped it was in the cottage where Remus and Tonks had been hiding, they had packed up and went to Grimmauld Place in London. Kreature had disappeared and no one had gone to look for him, not caring if he was alive or not. After some heavy charm work and elbow grease, the house as presentable and less gloomy. However, the memories stayed, and nothing but time would wash them away.

Remus was floored by how mature Harry was being- he had suffered his own losses in that war, his wounds were still as fresh as his own. He needed to stop acting like a child. Harry needed him to step up his game and take charge for once.

"Harry, I am so sorry. I've pushed all of this on you and you're only a child. You've been raising my son more than I have, for Gods' sake! You suffered losses too – he died the same night as Tonks!" Remus continued on until Harry cut him off. He said that of course he was taking care of Teddy- that's what godparents were for! He wasn't quite ready to talk about his loss yet. The Weasley's had invited him over many times, but he couldn't bare to look at them yet, after all, it was his fault one of their sons was dead! How could they not see it?

They continued talking into the early morning (not much of an accomplishment, seeing that Teddy's feeding had been at three), only going to bed once Teddy had been fed again at six. Around noon, when Remus woke up again, he had a clearer head and a half-formed plan in his mind. It would take some planning, but he could pull it off. Harry and Teddy needed to come first, and he was just starting to realize that. With a smile on his face, he went downstairs to the kitchen to find his boys.

ooo

This is chapter 1 of BoA. Please review if you liked it- I'm not sure if I should continue. The story gets better from here and picks up quick. Moving, names, other s- *Author said too much already*