A/N: So this just kind of popped into my head while I was talking to my Mom and I had to write it. Essentially these are the rules B.A., Face, and Hannibal think Murdock needs to follow to keep their own sanity and the sanity of their clients in one piece. Enjoy, R&R (it makes me happy). Also this is written from the POV of Hannibal.
Rule 1: No accusing anyone of being reincarnations of long dead dictators, tyrants, criminals, or B.A.'s aunt.
Rule 2: If you absolutely must burst into song at random times, please do it when we aren't asleep.
Rule 3: Face doesn't want to be an olympic ice-skater so you are forbidden from asking anymore.
Rule 4: Tomatos are not out to get you so quit staging sneak attacks on them when we're at grocery stores.
Rule 5: Clients really don't want to see you in your straight jacket so we'd all appreciate it if you wouldn't wear it when we meet them.
Rule 6: If B.A. is angry about something for more than two days assume that it's probably something you did and apologize.
Rule 7: The only paper you're allowed to eat is the paper a ticket from a cop is written on, unless B.A.'s already eaten it.
Rule 8a: You aren't a werewolf, quit howling at the full moon.
Rule 8b: Your nickname being "Howlin' Mad" isn't a good argument for why you should be allowed to howl at a full moon.
Rule 9: Proclaiming undying love to a client we've just met does not endear you to them, cut it out.
Rule 10: Scotty isn't going to beam you up, I'm sorry.
Rule 11: Exorcisim is not an organized sport.
Rule 12: B.A. is not to be worshiped as a god.
Rule 13: Five part presentations on why the word "wow" spelt backwards is "wow" is neither wanted or appreciated, it's also forbidden.
Rule 14: No more Tarzan immitations in front of clients, it frightens them.
Rule 15: Telling clients that the only way they can hire the A-Team is if they do the rumba is just plain silly and now forbidden.
Rule 16: Don't try to convince B.A. that a blood tranfusion from you will make him crazy, he usually believes it.
Rule 17: Playing hide and seek in a women's clothing store is officially something you cannot do.
Rule 18: It's called flamable for a reason.
Rule 19: You can't control the force, once again I'm sorry.
Rule 20: No walking your dog Billy at any parks it makes the mothers watching their kids nervous.
Rule 21: Off- limits is not a suggestion.
Rule 22: You aren't allowed to rewrite the dictionary, even if your definitions are more interesting.
Rule 23: B.A.'s hair is not there for your amusement.
Rule 24: You are not Zeus, you are not to tell people you are, you aren't.
Rule 25: Face is a con-man, not a ballerina, not an ice-skater, not a dinosaur, a con-man.
Rule 26: Roller skating on the side walk is allowed, roller skating on a busy street is not.
Rule 27: If we're renting a house and neighbors visit you are not to try to convince them you and the fridge are an "item".
Rule 28: Waiters at fancy restaurants Face takes us to are not napkins.
Rule 29: Laughing until you get the hiccups is your fault not the president's.
Rule 30: You cannot get drunk on milk, if you drink anymore of B.A.'s milk trying then he has my permission to stop you any way he wants.
Rule 31: Making anonymous calls to the police informing them that the sky is falling is not allowed.
Rule 32: B.A. is not the father of your child, that is a pillow stuffed under your shirt, and you are a man.
Rule 33: The eating utensils aren't alive.
Rule 34: While I appreciate the morals of your Golfball Liberation Front, your are not to send letters requesting funds from total strangers.
Rule 35: You aren't allowed to prank call Col. Decker, he's paranoid enough as it is.
Rule 36: Mirrors are not windows to another universe, quit trying to jump through them to get to this supposed universe.
Rule 37: You aren't allowed to stage one man protests against oxygen.
Rule 38: You aren't the belle of the ball.
Rule 39: "Let's roll Kato" is not what you say to B.A. when you get into the van.
Rule 40: You are not allowed to paint Face's Corvette pink.
Rule 41: Nor are you to paint giant smiley faces on the back of B.A.'s van.
Rule 42: While on the subject, you aren't Leonardo da Vinchi.
Rule 43: You watch the T.V., don't use it as a pillow.
Rule 44: While you may speak several languages you are not to make up new languages.
Rule 45: Your left hand isn't taking over you mind.
Rule 46: You can't enter a ballroom dancing competition with a plant as your dancing partner.
Rule 47: The lobster claw isn't alive.
Rule 48: You are not to form a Candy Addicts Anonymous group.
Rule 49: There's a time and place for valet parking, prefferably it isn't in front of the enterance of the mental facility you live in.
Rule 50: You are forbidden from trying to convince B.A.'s mother to adopt you.