Warnings: This particular fic deals with mature themes later on in the fic, and bad language. So, erm, yeah. You have been warned. I'll change the rating if you guys think it's necessary.

Chimerical Perceptions

"Masquerade…
Paper faces on parade…
Masquerade…
Hide your face,
so the world will
never find you…"

-Masquerade, Phantom of the Opera

Hatred…is a funny thing.

It starts out slow, beginning with the smallest hints of dislike. It slides forward then, crawling, slithering circles around your heart, fickle in the form of anger yet enduring as it becomes a grudge.

It can take on many shapes as it seeps into your soul: the smile on your face as you speak –spiteful even when the words you utter are kind –, your delighted laughter as bad things happen to those around you, the venomous expressions that leak out of your mouth when referring to other people, the way you take pleasure in watching others squirm. Hate has taught you how to mask your weaknesses. It has molded you, shaped the way you are until it is what defines you.

And one day, when you want to take it all back, when you want to revert to the person you used to be –the one with the genuine smiles and sincere words –, you find that you have nothing left to go back to.

Because you've forgotten who it was that you were in the first place.

Yes.

Hatred…is fucking hilarious.

Chapter 1: Apotheosis

"Drama and I- we've been over for a while now.

She just tends to stalk my every step."

When she was a little girl, she used to love climbing up the stairs to the roof so she could feel the wind on her face. The cold cleared her head and made it easier to think. There was also something incredibly attractive about the blue skies. Her father, who at the time had been level headed and kind, loved to tell her that she had been born a bird in her previous life and that that was the reason why she had always loved the sky. And since she was innocent, she believed him.

However, as she grew older and it became harder and harder to trust in fairy tales and happy endings, she could hardly bear to look at it.

Now, when she wanted to think, she went to the bathroom and lay back against the cool fiberglass of the bathtub. Now, when she wanted to think, she would stare at the ceiling and wonder when she had been placed inside a cage from which she could not escape.

"Go to hell, dad!"

"Don't you ever talk to me like that again! Hey, get the fuck back here!"

"Screw you!"

The door to the bathroom rattled as another was slammed. Nanoha stared at the ceiling.

The paint was cracking at the edges.

XxX

"So, what are you doing Saturday night?"

Nanoha crossed her legs and looked up from observing her hands.

"I don't know. Are there any parties coming up?"

Alicia smirked in her seat.

"There's Chrono's party. And he's hot."

The brown haired girl rolled her eyes. She looked back at her nails. She'd have to paint them again soon.

"You know, Nanoha, you could afford to put more enthusiasm in your replies. I mean, I love you and everything, but your mood's getting me down."

"Do I look like I care?" She asked dryly.

"Well, no, but-"

"Then shut up already."

Alicia's mouth twitched in irritation but she kept quiet. She watched as the brown haired girl took out a mirror and studied her reflection before putting it away and shifting so she was facing the front of the class. The teacher had just walked inside, holding a stack of papers and frowning so horribly that it could only mean bad news. The blonde girl looked down at her notebook and sighed as she remembered something. She'd forgotten to copy Fate's homework the night before.

As the professor began his tirade towards her class, Nanoha studied the wrinkles on her blouse. She had decided earlier that morning that she would boycott her red, black, and white blazer for the rest of the week. She wasn't sure why she wanted to do it, although it probably had something to do with the fact that she hated it. She fingered the tie that hung loosely around her neck. His name was written there and she smiled.

She hated him.

XxX

The back of her neck itched. Perspiration lightly covered the area.

Nanoha forced herself to stand up, snapping at one of her classmates when he offered to help her. She dusted off her gym uniform and started walking, ignoring her teacher's furious whistles when she refused to run.

"That's it, Takamachi!" She shouted, red faced, "I'm sick of your attitude! Detention after school!"

Privately, she rolled her eyes.

"Yes sir."

The woman gritted her teeth and pointed towards the bleachers repetitively with short, stabbing motions. Her mouth barely formed the word, 'Now.' before she turned away and back to the other students. The brown haired girl dragged herself over to the stone benches and found an area shaded by a tree. She stretched out so she was lying along its length and crossed her arm over her face in order to cover her eyes.

"…Testarossa go! She's so fast!"

"I know! She's…!"

Nanoha moved her arm and opened an eye in time to see two girls jogging past her on the track. They were chatting animatedly and making wild hand gestures, all the while looking at the side opposite them. She followed the direction of their gazes, hoping to see Alicia finally beating her sister to a pulp in a race. Her eyes caught a glimpse of golden hair tied back with a black ribbon. Long legs moving so quickly she could barely see them.

Nanoha scowled and flipped onto her side, facing away from Alicia's obvious defeat. She closed her eyes.

The other Testarossa was winning again.

XxX

"Nanoha, why don't you come up this time?"

She blinked and wearily stared at her math teacher. Did she look like she was paying attention and wanted to answer the question?

She looked at herself.

Her tie was crooked and she was splayed on top of her desk, head resting in the palm of her hand.

No. She didn't think so.

"No thanks." She refused, resting her head against her palm again.

"It wasn't a question."

Stupid, stupid math teacher.

"God dammit…" She muttered under her breath, grimacing.

She stood and reluctantly walked to the chalkboard. She stared at the problem for about five seconds before looking at her professor.

"I have no idea what I'm supposed to do here." She stated.

"We'll help you." He responded, smiling pleasantly.

Bastard.

She picked up the only piece of chalk there was and began by jotting down the formula. She then proceeded to bullshit her way through the problem.

"That's wrong, Nanoha. Try again."

She erased what she had done and dropped the chalk.

"Fuck this." She breathed to herself. Out loud, she spat, "You do it."

She moved towards her seat. As he glowered at her, someone very blonde and very tall blocked her way. A pianist's hand took her own and tugged her back towards the chalkboard.

Nanoha scowled.

It was the person she had been trying to ignore before the teacher had called on her.

"This is what you do, Takamachi."

She stood still, glaring rigidly as the other Testarossa took the piece of chalk and began solving the problem. She could see her mistakes. It irritated her. Immensely.

"Very good, Fate. Take your seats." The bastard was smiling at the blonde genuinely.

Damn them. Damn them both.

She glowered at the burgundy eyed young woman as they took their seats. She ignored the teacher's stiff scowl as he looked at her.

"Oh, by the way, Nanoha…" Fate murmured as she jotted down what the professor was now starting to say; eyes like wine turned to look at her even as her hand moved quietly along the page. "You've got double detention after school."

Her glower worsened. Fate didn't even flinch.

"Why?" She spoke the word through clenched teeth, feeling rather irked.

Fate smiled at her and Nanoha could hear the sharp intakes of breath from the people seated around them.

Stupid, stupid Testarossa fan club.

"You left your blazer today."

And with that, she turned back to her notes.

The bitch.

XxX

The final bell had rung when Nanoha met up with Alicia again. They walked through the crowded halls, trying to make their way past the lockers and into the courtyard.

"So, do you think you can make it?" Alicia asked hopefully, hefting her books onto her right hand.

"I have double detention thanks to your bitch of a sister."

Alicia groaned.

"You're kidding me, right? She knew we were going out today…" She fished her cell phone from her breast pocket and flipped it open, "Wait a second. Let me try talking to her…"

Her blonde friend speed dialed Fate's number. She almost immediately growled into the speaker.

"Fate…"

Nanoha tuned her out. She had heard so many of the Testarossa twins' arguments that it wasn't even funny anymore when Alicia practically snarled at her sister.

As the burgundy eyed twin trailed behind her, she walked through the double doors and out into the deserted courtyard. Sunlight filtered through the clouds and she suddenly felt as though she were standing in a spotlight with no one there to see her. She closed her eyes and began making her way to the tree in the center of the square. Her every step echoed against her ears.

Something wet hit her face. The light was suddenly shut out. Thunder crackled in the distance.

She paused and opened her eyes, standing still as it began to rain. Lips quirked into a dry smile. It figured that it would start raining when she wanted sunlight. She moved toward one of the stone benches and lay across it, eyes wide open to see it all.

"What the fuck are you doing, Nanoha?! Get back inside!"

She waved airily at Alicia. Let her think what she wanted. Quite frankly, she didn't care.

"Come on! Yuuno's looking for you!"

"Tell him I already left! Make something up!" She shouted back, rolling onto her side to face the bench.

She heard Alicia screech in annoyance.

"Fine! Be that way! I'm leaving!"

She took notice of the sound of the door slamming shut.

"Whatever." She muttered, and wrapped her arms around herself.

XxX

And she wasn't sure how long she stayed there, curled on the bench, shivering as the cold caught up to her. She was unaware of anything outside of her own mind, beyond the shouts echoing in her ears. Waking dreams drifted, fogging up her eyes, sometimes making her inhale sharply at the jagged flashes of longing they made her feel. Her nails dug deeply into her skin as she shifted, closing her eyes against the incoming raindrops. She smiled numbly as they slid down her face, chilling her to the bone.

And then suddenly, the rain stopped.

She exhaled harshly and opened her eyes. A black umbrella blocked the rain from her. A steady, ivory skinned pianist's hand held it up, long fingers curled around the base. Her own clenched reflexively as her blue eyes met those of dark wine, devoid of any emotion except a morbid sort of amusement. The other Testarossa was soaked, blonde hair golden against her pale complexion. She smiled a crooked smile, the one Nanoha knew made the idiots from the Testarossa fan club swoon and trip over their words like the bunch of morons they were.

"You have detention now, Nanoha."

If anything about the girl had ever been attractive to her, it was her voice. And still, Nanoha rolled her eyes and smiled mockingly, eyes connected to Fate's through some magnetic force.

"Thanks for stating the obvious, teacher's pet." She smiled blandly. "Now that your message has been delivered, why don't you run along?"

The blonde smiled back. But when she spoke, her voice had an edge to it that had not been there before.

"You'll be serving your detention by cleaning up the homerooms. Guess who your supervisor is?"

Her smile fell.

"You're kidding me."

"The feeling's mutual."

"Bitch."

"I'm not the one snapping at everyone for no reason."

She sat up, glaring at the girl who only shrugged and smiled cheerfully, eyes dark and careful. Fate reached down and tugged gently on the tie around her neck, trying to pull her up. She complied. They stared at each other, a foot apart, the blonde's hand still holding her tie.

"Do I have to drag you all the way there?" Her voice was teasing.

Nanoha's lips twitched in irritation. She took the girl's hand in hers and pried it away before she was tempted to choke her. And much to her increasing dismay, the skin she held between her fingers was the softest she had felt in a while. Her burgundy gaze bore into her and Nanoha could feel the tension between them rising almost imperceptibly.

She seized the moment and gripped Fate's collar, pulling her towards her and pressing her lips flush against hers. She nibbled on the girl's bottom lip, so lightly they could both hardly feel it, and pulled away slowly, dragging her fingers gently down the sides of her arms.

She was pretty sure the shiver that ran down Fate's spine had nothing to do with the cold.

Then, she turned on her heels and walked towards the doors. When the blonde didn't follow, she smirked and looked over her shoulder. The girl was walking towards her unhurriedly, long blonde lashes casting shadows against her skin.

"I thought you hated me." Her voice was a soft murmur, lower than usual and all the more attractive.

"I do." She replied, opening the door for her and letting her go inside first. "I just thought that you're as broken as I am, so we'd make a nice pair of fuck buddies."

Burgundy eyes flashed as she stepped through the doorway.

"You assume too much, Takamachi."

"Do I?" Slate blue shone with amusement. "You're not as perfect as everyone makes you out to be."

"I never pretended to be."

"So then what is it that you hide beneath that mask?"

"What do you hide behind yours?"

"None of your business."

"Then I'm glad we understand each other." Her words were cold.

Nanoha smiled.

"I really hate you."

Fate smiled back. "How touching. I hate you too."

"We have a lot in common."

"Yes, we do. So how about that detention?"

"You just had to ruin my mood, didn't you, you bitch?"

A crooked smile was her answer.

A/N: I have no idea why I'm posting this now, since it's been ready and waiting for weeks now. But whatever.

IMPORTANT MESSAGE:

Arigatou Sheitarou's in the hospital. She's not quitting. She's just having a hard time. I'll try and keep you all posted, but I'm warning you. I'm a sporadic updater.