Alejandro's tongue had been incredibly long. Almost freakishly so. It wound around Heather's entire month, causing her cheeks to bulge in way not unlike a chipmunk's, and made her to wonder if somewhere in all that Latin blood, he was part snake.
It was strange for Heather to be thinking about something as trivial as Alejandro's tongue at a time like this. Fire rained from the heavens, and she narrowly missed being crushed by a bolder that plummeted from the sky. Once again, Chris's poor planning and desperate need for theatrics was about to kill them all. Heather knew that Total Drama had Drama in the name for a reason, but it should be basic reality show hosting 101 that if the contestants are killed, there will be no show. ( And subsequently no golden hot tub for Chris.)
Heather snorted, coughing and sputtering when she realized that she was indeed in the ocean, and not on the high mountaintop (as she thought she was) from where she could judge the world and their atrocious haircuts.
Speaking of all things atrocious, Courtney was now passing Heather, trying ( unsuccessfully) to contact her lawyers with her clearly broken PDA, and at the same time swim for her life. Hair stuck up in odd places, and clothes ripped, she looked a mess.( But they again, when didn't she? Heather internally scoffed. That girl had some serious issues when it came to lip gloss.) Completely frazzled, the C.I.T. zoomed by Heather, and almost didn't acknowledge her presence. Almost. At the last moment though, Courtney paused, as if she forgot something. Then, she turned back around to give Heather the Death Glare.
Usually reversed for Gwen, Courtney's Death Glare (patent pending) was something strong and unstoppable, that said to the receiver I will tear you into little pieces, and then eat each piece slowly with a smile on my face. It was a look that was better suited for serial killers that ate their victims and then wore their skins as coats, and it burrowed through Heather, catching her completely off guard. What the hell did I ever do to her (today)? thought Heather. She couldn't fathom how she deserved the Death Glare at this moment, considering she hadn't spoken two words to Courtney since she was voted off, which had been weeks ago. But then, after Courtney had turned back around, did Heather remember.
Alejandro. And the kiss. The wet, sloppy, slimy, snake kiss.
And then around and around did Heather's thoughts go, spinning like teacups, from the kiss, to betrayal, to Courtney's Glare, to Chris and his stupidity, to finally the million dollars that Heather was sure she probably wasn't going to get ( Who puts an actual million dollars next to a volcano!), and back again.
They bounced across her head like pinballs, and Heather's metaphorical sweaty grip couldn't hold on to them.
The whole season, wasted!
Ugh, why am I even on this stupid loser show!
Can't Courtney just wake the hell up and see that Alejandro is being a manipulative ass to her!
… Wait, Courtney still can't see that? Wow he is good!
Stop it, Stop it, Stop it!
Why was Heather thinking about him! She couldn't believe that Alejandro had the audacity to invade her thoughts, even when there were more pressing matters like looking out for that flaming ball of death!
The Queen Bee swerved violently to the side as a rather large flaming rock just narrowly missed her. Did Alejandro want her to die? Is that why he was distracting her so? Turning back to the shore Heather looked to see the man himself, running around screaming, looking like a charred piece of bacon, twisted, with his maroon shirt blackened. The offending tongue lolled out to the side, and it suddenly reminded Heather of a dog.
Though shuddering at the comparison of kissing a dog tongue, some little long forgotten girly part of Heather, the one that smiled just slightly when she saw a rainbow (not that she would ever tell anyone), found the whole scene just the tiniest bit endearing. She had always wanted a dog.
Sighing, the Queen Bee turned her back on him. It wasn't like she was going to give in to the girly part of her, swim back through the falling lava, run up the shore, wind in her hair and a shine in her eyes, to kiss and make up with Bacon Alejandro on the beach. ( No matter how much the fan girls want it.)
Though as she swam away, Heather couldn't help but think that she had kissed worse then a dog before. Snakes on the other hand, were a different story.
A/N: This takes place in Heather's version of Hawaiian Punch, if you couldn't tell. I wrote this just to tie up some lose ends the show left me. Even though I kind of liked it, the this whole episode was just so strange! It kind of left me going but nothing was resolved! How can I go on! What have you done Total Drama writers!