Shrinking down, crumpling on the cobble stone walkway, I felt like I was drowning in my own misery and guilt. Misery that Bella, my beautiful, fragile, human Bella, was gone. Gone forever and I couldn't save her this time. Guilt that it was my fault, guilt because she'd killed herself because of me. She had been miserable enough to take her own life away.

My fault, Bella gone. My fault, Bella gone.

I groaned loudly, making the happy people along the sunny streets jump a little. My tearless sobs were putting a damper on the thought that I could be with her soon, and if I couldn't… well then I would have to endure it. I'd caused this, and I deserved hell after what I'd done. What time was it now? Quarter past eleven.

Fifteen minutes then. Fifteen minutes that I could think about Bella, and everything we had shared, and everything she hadn't been conscious for it to be shared.

The blue van rushing towards her, me saving her life. Watching her sleep, hearing her breath my name countless times. Telling her the truth about what I am. Annoyance when I couldn't hear what she was thinking. Bella, telling me that she wanted me. And then that she loved me. Our first kiss – and her irrational reaction. James, in the field and at the Ballet studio, agony watching the blood spill over her mangled body. Saving her, taking her to the prom, every kiss, and every touch; memories of what could no longer be. I shuddered as I pictured Bella's lifeless, bloody body in the ballet studio. I saw it again with her sinking and gasping for air at the bottom of the ocean…

Since I only had a few minutes left to live, I decided to focus on the good memories, and pretend that she was still with me, that I could hold her in my arms. I fell into a dreamlike trance, watching Bella sleep and replaying every loving moment between us. If I could just stroke her sea weed hair one more time, if I could only see her blush, the warm blood spreading to her face, causing her to look at her feet.

It was hard to believe that only a year ago, I was a bitter, lonely vampire, who had no reason for anything. Now so much had happened. I'd experienced real love, I'd felt emotions that I thought were gone forever.

And now I was back to where I started. The only reason for anything had been ripped out from under my feet. Why, why had she taken her life? Hadn't she promised to keep herself safe? To keep herself out of harm's way? But hadn't I made a promise to never hurt her? And wasn't that the reason for her jumping off… I couldn't bring myself to say it.

So I made my conclusion. Bella's death was most definitely one hundred percently my fault. Not that it would change my decision if it wasn't, but it just made it worse.

I looked up at the sun that I'd once hated for imprisoning me in the shadows, now was my life preserver, in a sense. The sun would help me on my quest to death, and that in itself was more than I could ever wish to come from the sun.

I stood, waiting for my last two minutes of life to come to its end. I could see Felix and Demitri waiting in the shadows opposite me, their black cloaks flowing at their sides. As much as I hated them and their guard, I had to give thanks to them, also. They, too were bringing death to me. I could hear them over the roar of the crowd, impatiently waiting for me to expose myself – but I tuned them out.

I pictured Bella's face in my mind, and tried to suppress the surrounding noises from the festival. Without conjuring it, I heard her voice, screaming my name, over and over again. I smiled. I was so at ease, with her, Bella in my presence, calling my name. Edward, this is stupid, and wrong. Stop it right now, just go back to Carlisle, you need to stop, Edward. Just because I'm gone doesn't mean you can't stay. You knew this would happen… someday…

I'd heard her voice tell me the same thing over and over as I'd planned my destruction. It was a perfect memory inside my head, there was no way to bury it inside of myself even if I wanted to. She was the only thing for me, without her, my existence didn't matter. I could hear the distant sound of her cries closer now, and I could hear the sound of her heart pumping, a sound that wasn't really there. Was she calling for me? I didn't look, because I knew the only place I would find her was in death.

Don't worry, love, we will be together soon, I promise.

I heard her voice reach up an octave, and her breathing was staggered, her heart was pumping faster than normal. Maybe that was a result of death, did it really matter anyway?

"No! Edward, look at me!" Her voice was stressed, and I wondered why. I am looking at you, Bella. It was true, her beautiful face and her laugh swirled in my head like the heroin I'd described to her so long ago.

I stood, took my last breath, and stepped out into the blazing sun.

But something hit me. It wasn't enough to throw me back, as I thought it might. If the two dark shapes across the way had intended to push me back, it wouldn't have felt like it did. However, I had no idea what they had planned for me, so I opened my eyes to see what had hit me.

The clock struck again, and my eyes widened as I looked at what small creature was in my arms. Bella was absolutely beautiful. She was in my arms. We were together, and she was here, she was really here. It wasn't a hallucination this time, I could feel the heat of her skin and I could feel the fire erupt in my throat, a feeling I never thought I'd miss. Finally, my heart was whole, she had filled the gap that had been a part of me for too long. But she still looked sick. She was thinner than I'd remembered, her cheeks were shallower, and she was pale enough to pass as a vampire. Of course, I reminded myself, that is what happens to bodies once they no longer work. There were deep circles under her dark, glistening eyes, which were wide with fear. What did she have to fear in this place? Oh, that's right, me.

No matter the reason for her appearance, she was still stunning, and dazzling as she'd once called me. It was odd, that I was really here with her. Really here with her in my arms, her scent in my nose and her face in my eyes. "Amazing, Carlisle was right."

She was pushing against my chest, I think, it was hard to tell. It didn't feel like much pushing, but since when had Bella been army strong?

Bella opened her mouth and choked out a gasp, "Edward, you've got to get back to the shadows. You have to move!"

I smiled down at her, so beautiful. What she said didn't register. Silly Bella, always worrying, but we didn't have to worry now. We were safe, and we could be together. I caressed her cheek lightly, wondering if she was still breakable here in the afterlife. She looked fragile, she felt fragile. She was a small porcelain doll that could be crushed at the slightest touch.

She body crunched against mine, felt wet, her legs were slopping wet. I remembered that she'd drowned in death. That was interesting. I wondered if I looked at all dismembered to her? Or did I seem fiery? Was I burning in any way?

For a brief moment, her face was alit, she was glowing, and she looked healthier with a small smile that flashed across her face. Good. She was happy too.

"I can't believe how quick it was. I didn't feel a thing- they're very good," and they were. I didn't feel anything at all, except for the small push that had shoved Bella into my arms.

Beautiful Bella. My memories of her were perfect in my steel trap mind, but seeing her here, I felt like I'd been missing so many details. "Death that hath sucked the honey from thy breath, hath no power yet upon thy beauty."

I sucked in a breath, her delicious scent swirled in my head, and it still raked at the back of my throat with burning flames. "So maybe this is hell. I don't care. I'll take it." I would have taken a thousand deaths of being burned at the stake before I would lived- or not lived- without her for another minute.

The skin between her brows mashed together, wiping away the momentary peaceful look on her face. "I'm not dead, and neither are you!" that was strange. "Please, Edward, we have to move. They can't be far away!" They? What need would we have to move? I was content to stay here forever. No more deadlines or clocks to worry about… no more schedules, we had all the time in the world.

"What was that?" I smiled down at her, curious at the reasoning of her distress.

"We're not dead, not yet! But we have to get out of here before the Volturi-" Suddenly everything fit together. The deep voices in the back of my head were getting clearer.

Who is that? Is that the human girl?

Good, I'm starving. Smells good too.

Patience, Felix, Aro gave us instructions.

Bella was alive. I was alive. We weren't in heaven, but we were together. Together in Volterra with two members of the guard coming for us. I suppressed a hiss and threw Bella against the ally wall- with as little force as I could manage- and tossed my arms out in front of her, making sure that the two black hooded figures gliding toward us couldn't get to her.

This must be Bella. But she's so plain! How could Edward want his mortality, everything really, taken away because this stupid, frail human was left out of this world?

That's funny. Kind of ironic, how just as we were about to kill him, this stupid human girl comes and saves him. God damnt.

The stepped just to the edge of the shadows, completely covered in their dark cloaks. The sun did not touch their skin.

"Greetings, gentlemen, I don't think I'll be requiring your services today. I would appreciate it very much, however, if you would send my thanks to your masters."

Like he could get off that easily! And now we've got the girl… Aro will want to know everything. How did this happen? Sometimes things get so strange around here.

"Shall we take this conversation to a more appropriate venue?" Felix asked, his breath seething through his teeth.

No.

"I don't believe that will be necessary." I said firmly, stretching my arms closer to Bella, making sure they weren't about to try anything.

He thinks he can just leave? Ha! We have instructions, and we will follow them. Mmmm, the human does smell good, doesn't she?

Back the hell off.

"I know your instructions, Felix. I haven't broken any rules."

"Felix merely meant to point out the proximity of the sun, let us seek better cover."

I could feel Bella shaking gently between the wall and my arms, yet she clung to me like a life preserver. "I'll be right behind you, Bella, why don't you go back to the square and enjoy the festival?"

But I didn't want her to go. I did, but I didn't. It felt like it would kill me to be separated from her now – which it would, that was exactly what they had planned for me – but if she was going to live through this, she needed to get away. I couldn't be responsible for her death twice. And I couldn't go through her death twice either.

How could she have gotten here, to Volterra, of all places in the world for her to be? If she weren't dead, I would expect her to be in Forks, or Jacksonville with Renné. But I was so sure, I'd even called her home, and it wasn't her or her father that had answered. Rose had told me exactly what Alice saw… Someone in my family was probably somewhere trying to catch up. How else would she have gotten here?

"No, bring the girl," I fought back a snarl, if I was going to keep this clean, I needed to work on my temper with Felix.

"I don't think so." I said firmly, as I adjusted my body into a more feasible position for fighting.

"No," The whisper came from behind me, Bella. Her voice shook and her body quaked, why would she have thrown herself into this mess if she were still alive? I needed answers, and I needed them soon, I hated being in the unknown. But Bella came first,

"Shhh," I murmured for her. She shouldn't be worrying about me.

"Felix, not here, Aro would simply like to speak with you again, if you have decided not to force out hand after all."

Not here. The intentions were clear in Felix's thoughts. They were dead set on killing us both. "Certainly," It was a struggle trying to keep my voice at a reasonable tone, and yet it was still icy cold. "But the girl goes free."

Demetri's voice was hard. "I'm afraid that's not possible, we do have rules to obey." And that girl does smell delicious… shut up, he can hear you, stupid idiot.

"Then I'm afraid that I'll be unable to accept Aro's invitation, Demetri."

"That's just fine," Felix purred.

"Aro will be disappointed," Demetri heaved a sigh. He's not going to be very happy… We're done for if they get out. But of course they won't, no one ever has. And if we bring them to Caius… well that'll just be peachy.

"I'm sure he'll survive the letdown," I retorted. How stupid were they? Yesterday I'd asked to die because of this "stupid human girl", and they just expected me to let her into their hands? I wondered if age affected their brains as it did humans.

We stood glowering at each other for a moment, but then I heard Alice's thoughts. Of course it was Alice, who else would defy me and go to Bella? Who else would drag the innocent girl to the most dangerous city in the world, for me? Well, I could think of a few, but to the first, only Alice. Edward, I'm sorry. I had to try to save you. She wanted to help, and I just had to try. You wouldn't have believed me if I'd told you myself. I'm so sorry.

Her thoughts immediately returned to some promise to Jasper that may not be fulfilled. Despite the absolute fury I felt towards her for dragging Bella here, I had to thank her for this, even if we may die.

"Let's behave ourselves, shall we? There are ladies present." She acted completely at ease as she swung her arms lightly around her.

Damnt, knew there would be more of them.

What the hell?

They didn't like the even numbers. I hid the inappropriate smirk.

"We're not alone," Alice reminded them. A large family was chatting to their neighbors about the scary people in the corner. It wouldn't be very good for the guard if we broke out into a fight in the middle of a festival.

"Please, Edward, let's be reasonable," Demitri asked quietly, in a hushed voice.

Fine.

"Let's, and we'll leave quietly now, with no one the wiser." My voice was still monotone. I had to get Bella out of here.

Bella.

Bella, Bella, Bella.

"At least let us discuss this more privately." Demitri reasoned.

I saw it then in his mind, the fact that he'd been trying to conceal even if the other thoughts weren't as well hidden. They had orders to bring me- and Bella- to the massacre room. The room that they slaughtered innocent humans in every day…

My teeth clamped together.

"No." Felix's thoughts were euphoric, anticipating a grueling fight to the death, and then an afternoon snack.

Oh yes.

Unexpectedly, I heard a new voice rush into the bunched up cloud of thoughts in our little group. It was a female voice.

Damnt,

Jane wafted into our group, a smile upon her face. Everyone relaxed immediately, and I followed their casual stance changes. Except I was the only one changing position because of resignation. "Jane," the little girl was like something from the horror movies Emmett had enjoyed a few years back… It's always the little girl, the little girl on the swing set and a doll in her hand. He had repeated to me during one of the many times I'd let him persuade me into sitting through one of the many haunted movies in the world.

"Follow me," Jane's soprano voice filled the small alley space.

Felix motioned for us to follow first. Alice moved ahead of me, walking plenty of paces behind the small vampire.

I wrapped my arm around Bella's waist – she didn't seem to mind, but I still wondered if the close proximity bothered her, after all, I had given her the impression that I didn't want her anymore – towing her up so that we were next to Alice. I wanted to know what was happening.

"Well, Alice, I suppose I shouldn't be surprised to see you here."

"It was my mistake," and I'm sorry, sorry, sorry, so sorry, Edward. You have no idea! I shouldn't have said a word to Rose, you know how she is. But I had to check on her, I swear I saw it, and I just wanted to help Charlie. If I'd known this would happen, that she was still there, I wouldn't have gone back. "It was my job to set it right."

"What happened?"

"It's a long story. In summary, she did jump off a cliff, but she wasn't trying to kill herself. Bella's all about the extreme sports these days."

So she hadn't jumped off the cliff because, or for, me? She'd jumped off a cliff for fun? The idea made me sick in more than one way. Selfishly, I'd felt a sense of rightness, because she wanted to be with me as much as I needed her. And second because given her track record, how could she not get hurt during an incident like that?

You see, she's best pals with a werewolf now. That Jacob Black kid from La Push, There's a whole pack of them now! Seems that when vampires are near it sets of some kind of chain reaction. Anyway, she's been hanging out with him a lot- and he's very young. He promised to take her cliff diving, but his pack needed him the day he'd promised. Apparently she absolutely needed to jump off in the pouring rain in the middle of the storm. I guess I can't see the werewolves, because Jacob jumped in and saved her when he'd heard her scream. Also, Laurent came back- don't freak out- he came as a favor to Victoria.

I had to try my very, very hardest not to burst right there. Victoria? The name was like venom on the tip of my tongue. She'd come back, and Bella was left alone? What had I done?

Bella was hiking alone in the woods- the place you took her. Laurent was hunting, and nearly killed her there. Calm? Okay, then the wolves came out and killed him. Victoria has been trying to get to her, dancing around the edges, really. She wants Bella dead because you killed James. Mate for mate. I don't think our leaving did her much good. Maybe she was safer with us around… Honestly Edward, it hasn't been pretty. When she came home and saw me, she was a mess. Charlie said she's been screaming in her sleep, that she hasn't really been alive since we left.

"Hm." I absorbed this new information. Werewolf best friends, Laurent, Victoria, cliff diving, hiking in the middle of the woods to our meadow… lingering on that thought for a moment. She went to the place I took her, to our secret meadow. Sigh.

I stopped walking as Alice jumped down a hole in the alley. Bella was frozen at my side. "It's okay, Bella, Alice will catch you." I whispered for her. She stared for a moment, then sat by the edge, swinging her feet like a small child on a swing.

"Alice?" Ah, it was so good to hear her voice. Her real voice, anyways, not my hallucinations.

"I'm right here, Bella," Alice called up. I took Bella's wrists gently, as gently as I could so that her hands wouldn't crumble to dust in my stone grasp. I lowered her slightly,

"Ready?" I asked in a low voice.

"Drop her." Alice called up again.

Bella's teeth clamped shut audibly as I released her hands, and she fell. I could hear her land in Alice's arms with a huff. I followed after in a second, and walked to her and Alice, taking Bella into my arms again. I needed her there.

I walked with her forward, and it was only a few steps till Bella through her arms around my waist. My silent heart throbbed.

I didn't notice much of our surroundings, only picking thoughts out of Demetri and Felix's heads in a piece of my brain. I was mostly concentrating on Bella, her grip on me tightening minutely with every step we took. I held her face in my hands, tracing her perfect, rosy lips with my thumb, and pressing my lips and face to her, to kiss her hair lightly in the dark.

I missed her too much. It felt absolutely right, holding her in my arms- it was the best thing that could have happened to me in all my years. I listened to her heartbeat, it was uneven and slightly off, but I couldn't blame her. She must be so frightened.

Bella's teeth began chattering, her entire body was rattling in my arms. I hated to let her go, but I had to keep her warm. I clung to her hand only. "N-n-no," She shook, throwing her arms around me again, and I couldn't resist her. If she needed me, I would be there for her.

We'd reached the end of the underground tunnel slowly, and that factor had made Felix extremely impatient, I'd almost hissed at him. If he heaved a sigh one more time… I tensed myself for the next thing to come as the door opened slowly.