"Brendan, I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know?" Ste yelled, terrified.
"How did ye NOT know? How is that not just common sense?" Brendan screamed, his eyes mad.
"I'm sorry, I was stupid, I'm sorry!" Ste yelled, tears in his eyes.
"I know you were stupid Steven, it just seems like you've been a little too stupid lately!" Brendan advanced.
Ste was up against the wall now, head pushed right back and his neck exposed.
"Brendan... Please..." Ste whimpered, shaking as Brendan's hands slowly reached out...
Brendan sat in the chair next to Ste's hospital bed, his head in his hands.
He lifted it a little, his eyes red and watery.
He reached out a hand to hold Ste's, a gesture of comfort.
But then he remembered the last time his hands had touched Ste's...
His fingers fixed around Ste's neck with a slow and concentrated malice.
"Brendan, please... I... Please let go..." Ste cried as his breathing became laboured.
"Make me!" Brendan said cruelly.
"Brendan! Please..." Ste struggled against Brendan's hand.
"Say it again!" Brendan said through gritted teeth.
"Please... Brendan... I love you... Please..." Ste choked, his face reddening as Brendans hands tightened even more.
"I want you to BEG, Steven." Brendan growled, his face close to Ste's.
"Brendan... I can't..." Ste sobbed, barely able to breathe let alone speak.
"BEG!" Brendan roared.
"Oh my God, what happened?" Cheryl gasped as she hurried into the room, taking in Ste's motionless body, Brendans's hand on Ste's and her brothers puffy eyes.
Cheryl fussed over both of them.
"What's wrong with him, why's he asleep, what're all these machines he's hooked up to?" Cheryl worried.
"When he was strangled, it stopped a lot of the blood flow to his head, he's unconscious. There's a lot of blood clotting around his brain." Brendan said.
"Well, what's gonna happen, will he be ok?" Cheryl was shocked.
"I don't know Chez." he muttered.
Cheryl could be ignorant sometimes, but she wasn't today.
She took in the finger shaped bruises on Ste's kneck.
She took in Brendan's dazed features.
She took in the way Brendan's hand was holding Ste's and yet he didn't seem comfortable, kept moving it as though...
As though the last time it had touched Ste, it had caused pain, not care.
"Brendan... It wasn't you, was it? You... You didn't do this, did you?" Cheryl said, panicing.
Yes, thought Brendan, just say yes. Admit to what ye did, like a man. Like the man you thought you were when you shoved Ste up against that wall and strangled him.
Brendan looked at Cheryl.
"No."
"I said beg Steven! If ye've got breath enough to say ye love me, you've got enough to beg me to let go of ye!" Brendan had a sick twisted smile on his face as he watched Ste struggle.
He released his hold on Ste's neck a little to let Ste get the words out.
"Brendan... you promised it'd be different, you promised you wouldn't hurt me, please... I know you don't wanna do this... let go." Ste croaked, stroking Brendan's face.
Brendan nodded and then glared madly at Ste.
"Wrong answer." Brendan grinned psychotically.
"No." Ste sobbed as his face crumpled.
Brendan lifted Ste off his feet.
Ste's dangling feet kicked out as his face reddened, his hands scraping at Brendan's, his eyes pleading.
Blackness clouded Ste's vision and finally, his feet became still.
Cheryl had stepped out for a minute and Brendan was left alone with nothing but Ste and his thoughts.
Seeing as Ste was in most of these thoughts, the two sort of blended together.
He looked at Ste.
He'd heard somewhere that if you talked to people in a coma, they could hear you and sometimes wake up.
Mind you, it wasn't a coma really.
He hadn't been hit by a car or had a blow to the head.
But, worth a try.
He took Ste's cold hand in his own, playing with the long fingers, trying to ignore the bruises on Ste's wrist.
"It's me Steven. I don't know if ye can hear me... Probably not, since ye aren't trying to shove me away." Brendan grinned a little and then went back to playing with Ste's fingers.
"Ye should, y'know. Shove me away. I'm bad for ye Steven. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have kept making ye take me back. I'm damaged Steven. Maybe that's why ye kept coming back, coming back, coming back." he jerked his head toward towards the door at every 'coming back'.
"Ye thought ye could fix me Steven. Ye tried to make us both the same. Both fixed. But I just made us both damaged instead. I hurt ye Steven. For the life of me, I don't know why!" Brendan grinned without humour.
"Ye need to stay away. But I don't think I can stay away." Brendan admitted, holding Ste's hand up and letting it fall.
He remembered the start of the argument that caused all this.
"How could ye be so stupid Steven?" Brendan yelled.
"How was I meant to know?" Ste retorted angrily.
"Why, why, why would you tell ANYONE about that?" Brendan shouted.
"Amy has a right to know! She is the mother of my children and therefore the mother of your step-children!" Ste replied.
"Hey, they're not my step-children yet!" Brendan warned.
"And what's that supposed to mean? Just because we haven't tied the knot yet they mean nothing to you?" Ste replied, offended.
"I... I didn't say that, I-" Brendan protested.
"Well you did as good as! What, so I took Declan out the other week, and I sent Paddy a birthday present in July but when it comes to MY kids, they're not getting a look in until it's all on paper!" Ste shouted.
"Hey, don't you speak to me like that!" Brendan warned.
"Oh, so it's ok for you to speak to me like that but not the other way 'round?" Ste shoved Brendan a little.
Suddenly, Ste was against the wall, his arm shoved painfully up his back.
"That's right Steven. Now don't you ever talk to me like that. Right?" Brendan said furiously.
Ste nodded, shaking as Brendan let him go.
Brendan began to pace agitatedly.
Growling, Brendan, grabbed a chair and threw it at the wall.
"Brendan, I'm sorry! How was I supposed to know?" Ste yelled, terrified.
"Sometimes couples need to spend more time together to mend their relationships. Sometimes they need to spend time apart to heal their own wounds before they try and heal the ones they made together. And sometimes... Sometimes it's best for both of them if one just walks away." Brendan smiled ruefully, leaning forward to kiss Ste's icy forehead.
Brendan left the room just as Cheryl finished speaking to the doctor.
"Well, his injuries are pretty bad, but they say he-" Cheryl paused as she saw Brendan's agitated face. "Are you alright, love? You look a bit pale."
Brendan just muttered a little, unsure of how to tell her.
"Oh come here, love. It's not your fault. Whatever bastard did this to Ste - well let's just hope he gets put behind bars eh?" Cheryl hugged her brother and then held him at arms length, smiling.
"Actually, Chez... it was my fault. Yeah. I... lost my temper and, I... I strangled him Chez." Brendan said, but this time he wasn't grinning or hiding behind anger.
He looked upset and scared.
"What... why? What could he POSSIBLY do that made you do that Brendan!" yelled Cheryl, quickly turning from shock to anger.
"He told Amy Barnes I had cancer." Brendan said shortly.
"Wait... what?" Cheryl said, shaking her head in disbelief.
"See ya Chez." Brendan said and he walked away.
"Brendan? Don't you dare walk away from me, I want answers! You have cancer? Brendan!" Cheryl yelled in despair, sinking into a chair as Brendan left the hospital.
Brendan walked across the square, flashbacks of after he'd strangled Ste pounding his head.
"Ste? Ste talk to me! I'm sorry." he grabbed his phone and dialled. "Yes ambulance please, there's a guy who's been strangled."
The ambulance screeched to a halt outside Chez Chez - but the sound of police sirens, now common-place in Hollyoaks, also screamed down the street.
The police wanted to interview Brendan about what had happened, but he refused to leave Ste's side.
It was only in the ambulance that Brendan let tears fall.
He swiped at them angrily - he hadn't cried since he was ten and he'd been trapped in the supply cupboard at school for two hours in the dark - but they kept falling.
He grasped Ste's hand in his own, blanching at how cold it was compared to his.
"You should try talking to him. It might help." a paramedic advised.
"It's ok Ste." he muttered so the paramedic couldn't hear. "I'll fix it."
When they reached hospital, the paramedics tried to shoo him away from Ste, saying it was medical staff only.
He kicked up such a fuss that other staff came running - including Lynsey.
She took one look at Brendan, one look at the bright bruises on Ste's pale neck and realised what had happened.
She gasped and the staff managed to whip Ste away while Brendan was distracted.
He took a step towards Lynsey, his emotions still raw and unprotected.
"Lyns." he sobbed like a scared child. "Don't tell 'em what I did!"
He entered the police station and walked up to the desk.
"I have some evidence towards the strangling of Steven Hay." Brendan said. "It was me. I did it."
FIVE MONTHS LATER
Brendan picked up the prison phone and dialled.
He had been saving up his prison allowance for five months for this phone call.
He would make it count.
The person on the other line picked up.
"Foxy. I need a favour."
Brendan was sat in his cell; he was jumpy and his eyes were twitching about.
Five men entered the room.
"So, Foxy sent ye then? I knew he'd come through for his old pal, eh? Not that he'd pass up on such an opportunity. Me asking for him to send people to beat me to death!" Brendan laughed madly. "He must find this hilarious. But it doesn't matter. I'm doing it for Steven. I need to hurt as much as I hurt him. So..."
Brendan stood up rubbing his hands together.
"Come on then lads! Hold nothing back! Make what's the last few moments of my life a living hell - to prepare me for what's coming soon after." Brendan smiled manically.
As the men advanced, Brendan tried to keep Ste in his mind, but it was hard to keep the memories positive.
With every punch in his gut, he thought of all the time's he'd punched Ste.
With every kick in his face, he thought of all the times he'd kicked Ste.
With every blow to the head, he thought of how many blows he'd given Ste.
But with his very last moments he saw all the good he and Ste had had.
He saw the life they could have had.
Kisses.
Cuddles.
Their wedding.
Their kids - their own and the ones they could have had together.
Christmases.
Birthdays.
Anniversaries.
A life filled with love.
In his last moments, Brendan Brady saw what could have been.
And it was good.