#1 ALWAYS REMAIN QUIET DURING A MISSION
Ironhide, Jazz, and I were on a mission
We were hiding behind a stack of energon cubes, waiting for the 'cons to show up so we we could sneak attack them
I got tired of waiting
So I yelled, "ATTETION DECEPTICONS! PLEASE COME OUT WITH YOUR SERVOS OVER YOUR HELMS SO WE MAY KICK YOUR TAILPIPE!"
Which earned me a big "SHHHHH!" from Jazz and Ironhide
Which caused the Decepticons to find us
Let's just say the mission was not a success
Er...whoops?

#2 SPACE SLUGS ARE ALLIES, NOT PETS
I was lonely
So I decided to get a space slug
Those suckers can be MEAN and NASTY
Yeah...
DID NOT go over too well
Ratchet was not too happy when he heard how I got injured

#3 NO TRYING JET JUDO
I'd heard someone had done it before
I wanted to try it
So, I waited for a seeker to come along
Drove along side it
Flew over a ramp
Then transformed and jumped on its back
That guy was not very happy
He flipped over, causing me to fall off
Unfortunatley, there was a dark energon spike
I landed on it
It hurt
*sniff* a lot

#4 SARCASM IS NOT APPRECIATED DURING GRAVE SITUAITONS
"Optimus: Bumblebee, we're locked in an enemy fortress with enemies all around us who want to destroy us
Bumblebee: So you're saying that's bad?
Me: No, Bumblebee, it's wonderful! Possibly the best thing that's ever happened to us!"
I received a lot of glares
Mainly from Bumblebee
"Bumblebee: Recycling? That doesn't seem so bad
Sideswipe: Yeah? What do you think they're recycling?
Me: *coughing on fumes* It's certainly not air fresheners, I know that!"
Apparently, the 'cons do not like the smell of their prison beinga insulted
"Bumblebee: What is THAT?
Me: Your DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!"
I got a very long lecture after we finished that mission
"Ironhide: Bah weep grohna weep ninny gon
Warpath: What is that?
Me: He just said your femme parental unit eats lugnuts in another language"
XD
Whoo boy!
The fight that broke out after that one!
"Megatron: Not bad for a LIBRARIAN! Maybe you should've spent more time in the PIT!
Optimus: Maybe you should've spent more time in the LIBRARY!
Me: UG! WHY WON'T YOU TWO JUST LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE?! HE *points to Optimus* WANTS TO READ DATA PADS! HE *points to Megatron* WANTS TO GO IN A PLACE THAT SMELLS BAD! JUST LEAVE EACH OTHER ALONE!"
Megatron was not happy
Well, neither was Optimus but at least he didn't shoot his cannon at me
I have learned my lesson
I don't use sarcasm anymore (*sarcasm*)

#5 STYLE IS NOT EVERYTHING
Jazz
You should know this by now
He nearly killed me when he tried to find a stylish way to take out that destroyer
"Me: JUST SHOOT HIM ALREADY!
Jazz: Hold on, I almost have the perfect shot lined up...
Destroyer: RAWR! *snatches me up*
Me: AAAAAHHHHH!
Destroyer: *tries to snap me in half*
Me: SWEET MERCY! SHOOT HIM JAZZ, SHOOT HIM!
Jazz: I'm tryin'! I'm tryin'!"
That episode did not end well
Style is not everything
Surviving is

#6 DO NOT COVER YOURSELF IN ENERGON AND PRETEND TO BE OFFLINED
I dumped a whole cube on myself
I then dampened my energy signature and made it to where you couldn't feel my spark
I screamed as loud as I could and collapsed to the floor
Pretending to be offlined
Ratchet, Ironhide, Jazz, and Prime came in quick (the others were on a mission)
I think they all nearly had a sparkattack
Ya shoulda seen the look on Doc-bot's faceplates!
XD
The lecture I got afterwords though...

#7 ALWAYS SCOUT THE AREA FIRST
I was on a solo mission
I had to shut down a power core
I ran into it, helm first
Aaaaaaand got attacked by two seekers
It kinda went like this:
Seekers: Die, Autobot!
Me: OH SLAG! *warms up blasters* SEEKERS! *shoots blindly*
They kicked my sorry little tailpipe

#8 SNIPERS ARE TO BE SILENT AND DEADLY, NOT LOUD AND RANDOM
The big boss decided it was time I tried to be a sniper
ME?
A SNIPER?
I know, crazy!
But he thought it was a good idea for me to try new things
...that and he couldn't find any more snipers (and believe me, he tried)
So I was going to give it a whirl
I was doing pretty well at first
But the Decepticons kept MOVING!
I couldn't get a good lock on them
So I, throughly frustrated, yelled at them, "Why wouldn't ya'll be still?! So FRUSTRATING!"
I lost it and chucked the sniper blaster at the 'con
It took one guy out but do you think the 'bots cared?
Nooooooooo
Ungrateful Autobots...

#9 NO REPAINTING YOURSELF TO LOOK LIKE A DECEPTICON
Not my fault!
*points to Sideswipe* HE did it!
It was just a prank
But still
The 'bots can't take any chances
So I was seriously beginning to regret the day Sideswipe was protoformed when Omega Supreme mistook me for a Decepticon and nearly squashed me
After the Autobots had established it was me beyond a shadow of doubt (although what 'con would pretend to be me?) I chased Sideswipe around yelling some not-so-nice things
One solar cycle I will get you, Swiper, one solar cycle...

#10 DO THE THING YOUR ENEMY LEAST EXPECTS YOU TO DO
Unfortunately for me, I am a very random femme so it"s hard to do something my enemies wouldn't expect me to do
So when the Decepticons captured me, I had to compute fast
I had done every weird thing in the datapad to catch the Decepticons off guard
Which meant there was only ONE thing left to do
I did something I would never do in my right mind
BEGGED FOR MERCY
I know, revolting, right?
The Decepricons were stunned
I was also shocked at how convincing I sounded
Sideswipe: Maybe that's because you really WERE begging-
Me: *tackles him* QUIET!
Sideswipe: -for merc-
Me: *smacks servo over his mouth* Pay no attetion to what this crazy mech says!