Title: Do You Hear Me?
Summary: Dr. Beckett thinks back on what made he decide to be a doctor.
Paring: None
Disclaimer: Stargate Atlantis is not mine and neither is the song. The song 'Do You Hear Me' belongs to Adema.
Note: Like with Teyla I know nothing of Beckett's family, I'm just making it up. If it's wrong I'm sorry.
"What made you decide to be a Doctor?"
At the time Rodney's question, to Dr. Carson Beckett, had seemed innocent enough and Carson had even given him the clichéd answer of doing it because he wanted to save lives and that kind of thing, but know that the question was in his head Carson couldn't help but think back to the real reason he'd become a doctor.
Yes he'd become a doctor because he wanted to save lives, but there was more to it than just that. When Carson had been a kid his mother had been diagnosed with cancer and he along with his dad, older sister, and little brother had all had to watch, as she got sicker and sicker and then eventually pass away.
Are you looking down on me right now
I feel your presence beam down
Watching you get ill it changed our lives
Your hand went limp and we cried
I didn't realize you had to go
Emotionless overflow
I wish I had the chance to tell you
I'm so sorry...
Do you here me
Praying to you
Carson was only six years old when she was diagnosed and eight years old when she finally passed away, it had been a hard two years on the whole family. They had spent more time in hospitals than out.
Carson could remember how at the funeral everyone had been saying how sorry they were and that at least she wasn't in any pain any more. He also remembered thinking that if those stupid doctors had done their jobs she wouldn't have been in any pain in the first place, what was the point in sending her to a hospital if the doctors weren't going to even help her?
Carson had made himself and his mother a promise that day that he would one day be a doctor and work in a hospital, but he would actually help his patients and make them better. And that's just what he did.
Do you here me
Praying to you
I know that you are in a better place Work harder for nothing
Somewhere you can escape
I'm looking for a sign from up above
That you still care and have love
I was really young and didn't know
I wish I had the chance to tell you
I'm so sorry
To come up I'm fading
Work harder for nothing at all
To find you you're nowhere
Now that he was older and had seen the kinds of things doctors had to deal with all the time, he understood that you couldn't always save a patient, that sometimes it didn't matter how hard you tried they still died in the end.
But just because he knew that didn't mean he took his promise any less serious. Every patient he treated, no matter how serious, he treated as if there was a chance for them, even if he knew there would be nothing he could do for them in the end, he still tried.
And Carson felt that, that was what made him a good doctor or at least good enough that he was chosen to be the CMO for an expedition going to an entirely new galaxy. With all this in mind Carson decided that maybe Rodney deserved a better answer than a cliché and so set out to find his friend and tell him the truth.