Hello dear readers! And welcome to the last part of this story!
This scene is the longest, nearly half of the original 44 pages. It was also my favorite to write! Yue and Touya; do you get more kawaii than that?
)o(
Yue didn't fly far. He wasn't in the mood for a fly, simply to be alone for a while. Though he knew his solitude would be short lived…
Only a minute's fly from the temple there was the ruins of an old fountain. The crumbled marble basin was once to be the centerpiece of a courtyard, but for whatever reason, the project had been abandoned, leaving behind the mossy fountain, surrounded on all sides by unkempt trees and overgrown shrubbery.
Yue liked it here. No one ever came here; no one even knew it was there. He came here often since the Judgment, when he needed time to be Yue, and not Yukito. When he needed to stretch his wings, feel the moonlight on HIS skin, through HIS hair, and not by proxy through his false form. Feeling such things through Yukito was like looking through a strangers photograph album; you might recognize the places and objects, and might bring to mind similar memories, but you didn't know them personally.
He'd won.
He wasn't too surprised. Sakura-Sama's powers had grown alarmingly fast, and so strong that even the grudging Moon Guardian had to admit it. But when it came to a battle of skill and knowledge, rather than heart and self-belief, even with her own Cards she was at a disadvantage.
She knew the Cards in a way that only the Master could know them; could sense them, was intuitive about them. But the cards, like Yue, like Kerberos, were in absolute submission to whomever controlled them, and the Cards had to be directed, instructed. One couldn't direct them and command them if one was unaware of their most basic powers.
He had won, though he was sure he wouldn't be able to claim too many more victories against the Mistress. Soon she'd know all there was to the cards, how to word her attacks, learn under which heavenly body they were ruled, and then Yue would have no more advantages, no more means through which to get the upper hand.
And deep down, he knew; it wasn't his skill that won the fight, but his Mistress's lack of information. He'd be no match for her soon…
The full moon was behind him; he could feel it, cool like silk running over him, across his hair, over his skin, staining his white robes with the palest blue light. The moon; his namesake…
"I'd thought your name was just a pretty word when I first heard it."
Yue had not heard nor sensed Touya come up behind him through the dense thicket, he was so engrossed in his thoughts. Had it not been for the moon angel's naturally calm disposition, he could have jumped at the sudden voice so close to him.
Touya was already taller than Yue, but standing just beside the pale young man, whilst he himself sat on the mossy ground with his knees pulled up made the Mistress's brother seem all the taller.
"But after I learned what it meant, it made perfect sense," he continued, following a train of thought Yue didn't seem to have a ticket for. "Yue. Moon. Tsuki. It all seems to fit together, doesn't it?"
"Why are you saying this to me?" was the Guardians only stoic reply, trying with all his will not to watch fro the corner of his eye as Touya sat beside him, stretching his long legs out before him.
Touya shrugged casually, trying to portray an act of cool indifference and comfort, when all the while the absurdity and excitement of the situation had him feeling anything but.
"I dunno. It's just an observation. I mean, you look just like the moon personified,"
"Perhaps because I AM the moon personified," Yue interrupted scathingly, his chilling voice more harsh then he had intended.
Touya stiffened slightly, feeling, in the presence of a being so much worldlier than himself, that he had just been scolded. "Er, right…Well, what I was getting at is, you're just like the moon, obviously, but…you're just like Yukito too."
Yue sighed softly, making no more noise than his symbol would, rising in the East every night.
"So I've been told," he acknowledged simply. "More than once. But why bring this up now? Surely you didn't spy on us and then follow me here just to bring that up again. Yes," he added almost wryly to Touya's widened eyes and shame-flushed cheeks. "I know you were there. I could sense you almost as soon as I could sense Sakura-Sama."
Touya's brow furrowed gently, either in the oddity of hearing his sister addressed in such an honorable way, or by knowing that he wasn't as well covered as he had thought. Or, most likely, both.
"Oh…I see…" This wasn't Touya at all, and the both knew it. Broken speech and a loss for words was a rarity for wise-cracking, hot tempered and intelligent Touya. He was never this way around Yuki, and Yuki and Yue were the same, right? Touya could see more similarities between the two than he could almost anyone else. And yet…more differences then anyone else. Where Yukito was warm, handsome and contagiously cheerful, Yue was cool, ethereally beautiful and enchantingly unreachable, like his namesake. Distant but so…so…right THERE. Close enough to…to touch…not that he would, of course…Yue was like a priceless piece of the finest art; look, wonder, but don't even think about…
Yue could not read minds, but he didn't need that sort of power to know how awkward the Mistress's brother was, and to know that he was part of, if not the sole cause of his discomfort.
With an emotion brewing inside him closely akin to regret, Yue dipped his head, shadowing hurt violet eyes behind a blessed curtain of silver hair.
"Perhaps you would be more comfortable talking to Yukito, Touya-Sama…"
"Touya-WHAT?!" he mimicked, not even trying to hide the outright shock in his voice. "What did you call me?" But he had more pressing issues a hand as Yue's downy white wings began to encircle him, glowing faintly.
"Yue, stop," he requested softly, just loud enough to get the guardian's attention. "I don't want to talk to Yukito right now."
Yue's wings immediately unfurled, ruffling slightly as he dared to peak through his barrier of platimun strands. "N-nani?"
"I said, I don't want to talk to Yukito. I…I want to talk to you," Touya clarified, wondering vaguely if he had ever seen more emotion pass across Yue's lilac-colored eyes. Not that he could discern much of it. Surprise? Bewilderment? Maybe even…guarded hope?
But all of it was quickly packed away and locked safely behind impenetrable doors welded from iron and steel and ice. His posture went prim and rigid once more, his wings folding stiffly, his jaw set, facing straight forward.
"And why would you want to speak with me?" he wanted to know, though his tone implied falsely that he couldn't care less.
"Eh, eh! No fair. Answer my question first." At the slightest arc of one slender white eyebrow, Touya added, "Why did you just call me Touya-Sama?"
"Because. You are the Mistresses beloved brother and I owe my very life to you. It is only proper that I show you due respect." His tone was one that implied recitation and a powerful feeling of practiced memorization and submission. Self imposed, if what the stuffed to and the Kaijuu said about that Reed guy was true. Didn't seem like the controlling and dominant type.
Touya shook his head decisively. "Don't call me that," he asked simply. "I don't like it. And Sakura doesn't care much for it either."
"Sakura-Sama is my Mistress. I called Clow by the same title. Now," he switched subjects before Touya could argue further with him. "I answered your question., now answer mine; why did you follow the Mistress? Why did you follow ME?"
Because you're beautiful and enchanting and I wanted to see you, ran through Touya's brain, but steered clear of his tongue.
"I, um...I was curious, I suppose," he half-lied. "I just wanted to see what Sakura was up to,"
"You already know about her magic, Touya-Sama. You needn't sneak behind her if you wanted to see what she does." Cautiously, he snuck a quick glance at Touya, one violet eye flicking over his tanned features before adding, "And that still doesn't explain why you followed me here."
Again, Touya had to tread lightly around his chosen words, try not to blab everything to Yue, but not flat out lie either. He had a feeling he could tell…
He leaned back against the springy moss his hands supporting him as he reclined back slightly. "I dunno. I just had this feeling that you might want company."
"I don't need company." Yue all but growled under his breath.
'But you wanted it," Touya countered smugly, to which Yue had no rebuttal. "I may not have my magic anymore, but I have my intuition. And I'm not stupid."
"I never said you were," Yue murmured, his eyes widening slightly as he realized he'd said that out loud. But Touya-Sama, bless him, chose to ignore it.
"I don't know much about you, Yue, but I can tell you hold your Master's up higher than anything."
Touya couldn't be sure, in the weak moonlight, but he could almost swear he saw Yue's skin tinge pink as he muttered something about it being his nature to do so.
"-So it's obvious you didn't want to fight my sister so you could beat her and gloat about it," Touya remarked, his story thoughts starting to meld together. "And you wouldn't fight her because you wanted to hurt her, so it had to be something else."
"How very deductive of you." Yue said lightly, feeling suddenly bare and vulnerable, with Touya having read him like a book, with almost as much thought and calculation s his brother would have. He shifted ever so slightly, pulling the long length or white clothe more snugly over his shoulder and around his arm, as though to cover himself. "And just what have you decided that 'something else' is?"
Touya smiled gently, surprised at how he was beginning to relax. Yue felt his pale skin flush warmly, seeing Touya smile like that…
"See, that's where you come in!" he laughed gently, not even thinking about how odd one would find it, laughing in he presence of such a staunchy and proper creation. But the more Touya watched him, the more he saw him blush and fidget and avoid looking him in the eyes, the more it became evident; there was more to him than that. Yue, just like the moon, had his dark side, the shadowed well of mysteries he portrayed to the world, and the bright side, which…well, Touya hadn't quite found yet… "I'm good, but not that good. I can't read your mind, Yue, so you're gonna have to fill me in here."
Once, when Yue was younger, soon after Clow had brought him into being, Yue had laid his head against he magicians chest one evening, letting him stroke through his hair. With no other sound in the room apart from the crackling fire and his Onii-Chan's snoring, Yue became aware of a steady, rumbly thumping which Clow told him was his heart beating.
"Do I have one?" a naive Yue had asked, straining to hear the thump-humping in his own chest.
Smiling kindly, his blue eyes crinkling at he corners, Clow had old him yes, with a most reassuring certainty.
And never before had Yue been more ware of his own heart beating, thumping madly against his chest, so loudly, it seemed, that he had no doubt that Touya could hear it. Was…was it just his own imagination, or was To-ya sitting a might bit closer to him than when he first sat down?
"What…what makes you think there is any particular reason, Touya-Sama?" Yue asked monotonously, striving to recapture his composure from his embarrassing display of emotions.
"Oh, I dunno," Touya said offhandedly, the trace of a smirk playing across his tanned features. "Perhaps by the way you're sitting more stiffly than usual or the way you won't look me in the eye or the fact that you're blushing maroon-"
"Well don't you just feel pleased with yourself," Yue ground out, almost growling. But his face held a softer look to it; almost…almost vulnerable…
With a deep, gusty sigh, Yue pulled one leg up, wrapped his arms around it and hugging it to his chest. He spoke more to the ground than he did Touya. "You've learned basic astronomy in your studies, haven't you?" he finally asked.
Touya cocked one eyebrow, wondering how they got on this track, but nodded. "Yeah…"
"Then you know the fundamentals of the solar system. Nine planets all orbiting around the sun, each with its own moons, spinning eternally around them."
"Yue, where're you going with-" but the soft, melancholy sound of the angel's voice cut him off, as he began to recite;
"Though the Earth is mighty and powerful and full of the wonders of life, it is the Sun whose heart burns the brightest. It is the mighty Sun which provides the light and warmth of the world to the Earth and the glow to the Moon, for the Moon is everything the Sun and Earth are not. The Moon, beautiful maiden, holds tightly to the Earth, clinging desperately to it, lest she should be wisped away into the vast void beyond. The Moon, enchanting orb, shines only when the Sun should take upon itself to make it so. Where the Sun shines brightly, the Moon only shines when the all powerful Sun allows it. Where the Earth is steady and provides the water the air and the life for all upon its face, the Moon provides nothing for itself, surviving purely on the good humor of the dominant Earth and the fiery Sun…"
Touya listened to the beautifully quoted words, hearing the emotionless tone of Yue's voice quiver with feelings he couldn't articulate in any other way. Distant longing, a hopelessness and even a distant spite…
"I…I don't think I really understand," Touya said finally, admitting it a little ashamedly. It was obvious that poem meant something, a great something to Yue, and he flt rerrible that he couldn't see it himself.
And Yue smiled sadly.
"It is a poem Clow-Sama use to recite to my brother and I," he explained in the lowest whisper, his mouth smiling but his eyes sorrowful, as though he couldn't decide if his master reading that poem to him should be a joyful or mournful memory. "He created Kerberos and I after the description in that poem." Briefly, a genuine, if not wry smile flashed across his face. "I don't know which line to be more offended about; 'clinging desperately' or 'beautiful maiden.'"
Touya chuckled, trying to imagine the look in Yue's eyes when he realized his Master had considered making him female.
"He dismissed that idea, thankfully," Yue continued, and Touya noted his smile was fading. "But he kept all the others. 'The Moon is everything the Sun and Earth are not.' Do you know what is meant by that, Touya-Sama?"
Touya studied Yue's profile, pale, porcelain skin framed by long silver strands of hair, as delicate as spider's silk, and thought.
"It means…that the Earth and the Sun can support themselves, but…"
"But the Moon depends on the larger satellites for its existence." Yue finished for him. Touya had never heard Yue speak with such passionate distaste, as though speaking such words left a bitter tinge on his tongue. "The moon needs the earth to keep it in orbit and the sun to give it light. And so I was made."
Touya ground his fist against his forehead, trying to decipher Yue's cryptic rants.
"Clow-Sama is the Earth," Yue sighed, trying to clarify what he already knew." He gave us life, he created us. He is centered between us and he is the most powerful, as the Earth is. Kerberos is the Sun. He is completely independent of Clow's magic, because he creates his own, like you create warmth. And I am the Moon…"
"And the Moon doesn't make its own light; it only reflects the Sun's."
Yue nodded solemnly, turning his head a fraction so that he was talking more to Touya now than the ground. "And so I'm dependant on my brother. If anything were to happen to Kerberos, I wouldn't be able to use my powers. I would still be here, but I would be little more than mortal."
"And then the Earth…the Earth's gravity keeps the Moon in orbit. The Moon needs the Earth to keep it from disappearing…" Touya began putting two and two together. "Clow and now Sakura are the Earth, and if their "gravity" isn't strong enough to keep you here…"
"I would disappear." He murmured, his eyes closing, pale lashes fluttering against his skin. "And, thus, I am dependant on my Master."
Touya wanted so much to take the angel into his arms, he looked so broken and despondent. Beautiful, glowing skin suddenly looked sickly pale and a slender frame frail and delicate.
It hardly seemed fair to Touya; no wonder Yue was so silent, so emotionless. He would be too, he thought. And it seemed almost selfish of Clow, to create his Guardian to be entirely dependent on him, on his magic…not that he would dare say such a thing to Yue. He would probably clam up for another few centuries if he said such a thing, though, by the pain in his voice, Touya suspected that he felt the same way, on some level.
"nd that's why I was so anxious to fight the Mistress," Yue broke through th silence, and Touya startled slightly. He'd forgotten the whole reason he was talking to yue about all of this. He looked softly at him, waiting to elaborate, and for the first time, Yue dared to meet his gaze fully.
"I've been alive for 250 years, Touya. I was with Clow for barely more than half a century, yet it was enough to instill the way he created me. I needed him, Touya, like I need Sakura-Sama. Perhaps even more so…" he blushed softly pink at his slip, and began to avert his eyes once more, facing the ground.
But Touya needed to hear, and Yue needed to speak. With more guts than he thought he had, he reached out gently, placing his fingers just under Yue's chin, pressing softly to bring his face, his cat-like eyes, up to meet his own cerulean ones.
"Touya! I-"
"You really loved Clow, didn't you?" Touya broke in, causing the slighter man to stiffen and pale, if such moon-like skin could be any paler. Touya guessed he was approximately 4 seconds away from taking flight, so he tried a different tactic.
Smiling warmly, his fingertips just grazing Yue's cheek, he said, "I can tell. You loved him, more than anything. More than your brother, more than Sakura, even more than yourself. And you…" the blocks all starting falling into place as Touya pieced them together. "And you're afraid it wasn't REALLY love, what you felt for him. You're afraid…that the attraction you had for him…was only your dependence on him, the pull he had on you like the earth to the moon…"
Yue had his eyes closed tightly, as though hiding heir violet windows from Touya would keep him from seeing inside, from seeing more, from seeing that everything he said was truth…half of him screamed to wrench from his grasp and take to the sky, to get as far away as possible. And the other part longed for him to stay, for BOH of them to sty exactly how they were, Touya's warm fingertips pressed so gently against his jaw and cheek, his face just a hands length away from his…
Touya had no more magic thrumming through his veins than your average mutt, but his instincts, his intuition was all still his, still as much a part of him as his own blood. He could feel all the muscles in Yue's writhe body tensing, stiffening, only to relax to the point of melting every time Touya spoke, every time his breath blew aside Yue's long hair. And it griped him, forcing all the breath from his lungs, bringing color to his own cheeks.
Yue wasn't the superior, all-knowing and judgmental being he would assume the beautiful Judge to be. He wasn't a sacred, untouchable being; he may have the wings of an angel and the eyes of a wild tiger, but past the feathers and the platinum strands and the purple eyes, Yue had a human's heart.
And sometimes human hearts broke.
"It scares me, Touya, how you can seem to know everything boiling inside me as though I were an emotional flood," he said finally. The corners of his mouth curved ever so slightly, as though secretly glad Touya could read him so well. Perhaps it was nice to have someone else know him that well, besides an overgrown lion-beast with a pudding addiction. He was so engrossed in that revelation that he hadn't noticed how close Touya was to him until he felt his arm brush up against his own.
"But you're right," he admitted, almost more to himself than Touya. Tucking hair behind his ears that refused to stay woven, he dared to meet his deep azure eyes. "All through my existence I was under the understanding that I am of a subordinate nature. Clow never uttered such words, of course," he clarified to Touya's outraged expression. "It was something I knew deeper than that. My…my first thought, the first corporeal idea I had after my "birth" was that Clow was my Master and I was to serve him. He never treated me in such a way; I wasn't a servant to him. I was a friend, a companion, a child in my early years, later, a-" he stopped himself, his face filling with color. Swallowing thickly, he went on.
"Clow never gave any indication that I was below him, but on some level, he had that in mind. Why else would he have made me as I am? To have to depend on a Master? On my brother? I love Sakura-Sama and Onii-Chan, and I loved Clow, and I know they care for me, but…I can't help but always feel as though no matter what I do, I am nothing without them. I could easily BECOME nothing without them."
"And so you fought Sakura so fiercely to prove to yourself that you COULD be something without being under her mastery."
Yue turned his feline eyes curiously on Touya. "I find it queer, Touya, that you seem able to sort through a web of gnarled vines and brambles to find answers even I have long thought impossible to acquire."
"And I find it queer, Yue, that you can spill your guts to me, showing more emotion than I'm sure you've displayed in a dozen decades, yet you still speak so formally to me," the dark hired boy quipped, chuckling at Yue's bewildered look.
"It isn't that hard, Yue. You just have to know how to read it. You hide it well, but there's just little, subtle things I noticed. You won't make eyes contact if you feel that someone know something. Your wings flare out when you sense something's wrong."
For the first time, it occurred to Yue just how much Touya could see from him. For so long, he'd become accustomed to the security of hiding behind himself. Hiding came naturally to him, be it behind Yukito's cheerful personality, his carefully arranged impassive features or even, when he was younger and felt as though he'd done something shameful, simply retreating behind the curtain of his own coiling hair.
And now, to think that all his trials and work had been in vain, that Touya could see through him like gossamer, was disconcerting…
And yet, it was unexplainably comforting…
"And just for the record, you AREN'T nothing, Yue…"
What does one say to that? Thank you? I know? You're wrong? I AM nothing?
Perhaps it's easier not to say anything…
But he wanted to say something SO badly…wanted to tell Touya how long it had been since something said something so kind to him. Tell him how many years it had been since someone spoke so kindly to him, sat so near him, brushed their fingers against his pale cheek…
Tell him that he almost believed him when he said he wasn't nothing. Though no one had ever le him to believe such a thing, Yue's mind, preoccupied with submission and servitude and pleasing his superiors had never had room to harbor the idea that he mattered beyond his role of servant and Guardian.
But the way Touya-Sama held his face so tenderly in his tanned, calloused hand, the way his sapphire eyes refused to break away from Yue's sparkling amethysts screamed something completely different.
Touya's eyes were like Clow's; deep, endless blue in color. It made sense of course, considering Touya-Sama was the son of his reincarnation.
But they weren't his. Where his Maser's had been mischievous and always teasing, Touya-Sama's held a solemn serious more becoming on Yue's stoic features that Touya's. Touya's deep blue irises didn't hold the infinite and sometimes burdensome wisdom of the world. They didn't shimmer with the magic that once thrummed through his veins as Clow's had, so long ago…perhaps Touya didn't resemble Clow as much as Yue had originally thought…
But then why did Yue long to be near him as he did his Master?
Human emotions were so bothersome.
"Yue?" Touya prompted softly, his arm brushing dangerously close to Yue's own, cuausing the feathers on his wings to ruffle in a mixture of anxiety and elation.
"Nani?"
He reached his slender hand upward and Yue held his breath as he brushed aside his barrier of silvery hair, tucking it ever-so-lovingly behind his ear and causing his heart to nearly burst.
"Can I ask something of you?" Touya innocently inquired, to which Yue nodded almost imperceptibility.
"Will you please not call me Touya-Sama?" he requested, smiling gently at Yue's raised brow. "It makes me feel old and staunchy. I know you feel like you need to show me respect, but I'd much rather you not call me that. Is that alright?"
With Touya sitting right up next to him, his fingertips ghosting over loose strands of hair, following them almost tauntingly past his shoulders, down his back to his first hair tie. He could hate Touya right then for torturing him so…
If he didn't love him so desperately.
The realization popped into his head with such force that Yue's wings fluttered instinctively, his feline eyes widening while his pupils thinned.
Love? Touya? Love him as he did Clow?
Did he?
COULD he?
Clow made his heart run wild when he was near. Like Touya. Made his feathers rustle and his skin redden and had him dreaming fervently of every brush of skin and hair and breath…
"…Yue?" Touya asked concerned, resting his palm on Yue's shoulder, running his fingers over the smooth, cool silk of the angel's robes.
Could that explain the fleeting resemblance he saw between Clow and the young man beside him? Not physical similarities, but a similar reaction evoked in the younger guardian? Was his…love…for Touya what made him appear so much like his first Master?
"I…" Yue struggled to find his voice amongst the clutter this epiphany was scattering round his brain.
Love.
Yukito loved Touya. More than he found possible to love anyone else. Was this only his false-forms affection that had him spell-bound? Or perhaps it was only gratitude for the man who saved his life? But would affection-by-proxy or misplaced thankfulness cause the breath to catch in his chest?
"I…I am fine, To-ya."
He hadn't been aware that he'd used Yukito's sweet et name for his company till moments after his mouth formed the words past his lips. No one called Touya that, save Yuki. It was a gross breach of respect to go from calling him Touya-Sama to To-ya.
Yue flared his wings suddenly, their soft downy appearance finally giving way to their true strength with taught, powerful muscles and rapid, graceful arcs as he tried to escape. To most, saying such a thing would be shameful, no doubt, but they would hang their heads and apologize profusely.
But Yue wasn't most. He'd been diminutive to someone of a higher stature than himself, and the mortification was overwhelming. Every string of sinew in his writhe body was willing him into the sky, unable to face the man beside him, unable to see the shock he knew would be present in his cerulean eyes…
He didn't expect to feel the hand of his Mistress's brother grab a hold of his cloak, tugging sharply. He didn't expect that a mortal boy with human strength could overpower his wings and his magic, pulling him back down to he earth with much more force than wretched gravity would have done on its own.
"Aia!"
"Oof!"
The two were, for a moment, a tangle of limbs and silk and feathers as they found themselves in a knotted heap on the mossy grass. Hands were caught and pinned under struggled feet, elbows found their ways into stomachs and ribs and the bottom tie in Yue's hair had snagged, making t heir task next to impossible, having to pull aside and untwist more than 2 yards of fine, silvery strands. Touya, though he couldn't see the angel through his own sweater having somehow migrated from his chest to over his head could hear him swearing rapidly in English. Neither really knew which way was up anymore; the air was thick with downy fluff and fuzz from Touya's wool sweater.
"Go-gomen nesai!" Yue moaned pitifully, either to having just knocked his new dance partner upside the mouth with the large sapphire on his cuffs or to the situation in general.
Touya was too preoccupied with unsnaking Yue's hair from his sleeve to do more than mumble a dismissive "s'ok."
"I'm sorry for being so clumsy Touya!" he apologized profusely, blushing furiously in shame. With his eyes clenched shut, the thought of looking Touya in the eyes enough to end his immortal life he failed to notice that Touya, who'd ended up atop the angel in their bedlam, was nearly through unwinding Yue's cloak from around his throat but yet had made a move to stand. "I-I'm sorry for saying something so disrespectful!"
"Yue," Touya tried to get his attention. Unlike the guardian, HE noticed the somewhat odd position they had ended in. Yue's wings were spread to their full span, feathers stretching out as far as they could reach, and his now loose hair fanned out around him from the one inadequate tie still in place, completely obscuring the grass below him. Touya's legs akimbo on either side of Yue's, his chest hovering just an inch above the lark's…
Yue refused to listen, or didn't hear. "I promise it won't happen again, Touya-Sama. I was not thinking properly-"
"Yue!" Touya raised his voice, dipping his head lower, closer to his ear, the one adorned with the icy blue gem. He had one arm holding him up at the elbow as he brought the other up, almost unconsciously to wrap around Yue's wrist.
Touya didn't think he'd ever heard such a tone from Yue; in the hour he'd sent with him that evening, he'd heard monotonous narration fade into hesitant admittance, melancholy remembrance and passionate admittance. But never had he heard the pleading, the desperate edge of humiliation. Such overwhelming panic didn't suit him…
He couldn't understand a word Yue said now, as he was rambling in Chinese with intermittent English. The knotted platinum eyebrows and pained expressing marring his placid features indicated, better than a neon sign that he was still begging the Kinomoto boy to forgive him.
Words weren't going to get through to him; it was like he'd been stocking up on emotion for a couple centuries before deciding he couldn't fit anymore in that queer little head of his and it was all spouting out at once.
But Touya knew one way to shut him up…
He leaned forward, pressing his broad chest against the more slender of the two, cool satin chilling the skin were his sweater STILL hadn't found it's way back to. The warm and sudden weight stopped Yue mid sentence (one which sounded vaguely Spanish) and his lavender eyes shot open, his pupils thinning to thread-width.
"Touya! I-"
But whatever words were on the ti of his tongue were lost as Touya sealed his lips over the moon angel's. He felt every muscle in Yue's body coil, could feel the slightest intake of breath stealing the air from his own lungs and he prayed Yue didn't act on the impulse to shove him off him and take flight.
His lips were soft and cool under his own. He brushed the tip of his tongue against his lip, so gently Yue was hardly aware. He was too busy taking in the big picture. Touya-sama? To-ya? Laying atop him, one hand holding his wrist possessively, the other sneaking through his hair to claim the back of his neck? Touya kissing him, craggy lips brushing roughly against his? Had he gone mad? Sure, it was late, and the moon was beginning to set but surely Touya realized that he wasn't Yukito? The wings HAD to be a giveaway…
But Touya knew exactly who it was he lay atop of. Not Yukito, his lover. At least, not technically. Yuki was in there somewhere, sleeping soundly, completely unaware that his boyfriend was making out with his Other Half…
Making out. Such crude words to use, Touya thought offhandedly. He felt the rigidity begin to leave Yue's frame, felt his hand rest hesitantly on Touya's forearm. Felt his pale mouth part ever so slightly…
How long had it been since Yue had kissed somebody? The guardian wan't sure if he could answer that. Before Clow died, of course, but after 2 centuries locked away in a dark book some memories became hazy. Was it by the fireside as Yue wished his Master a good night, or the following morning after they'd BOTH hd a good night? Was it out in the garden as the snow flew, causing Kerberos to moan loudly about all that romance making him sick.
Was it before he was sealed away? Was it as he knelt in the middle of the golden circle, bound by magic into its loop as tears streamed unrelentingly down his face and he screamed and begged for Clow not to do this, not to leave them? Did Clow step across the circle Yue couldn't near to kiss him goodbye?
Yue couldn't remember.
In fact, at the moment, Yue was doing good to remember his own name. He was a little distracted, after all.
Yue knew Touya was dominant; having seen years through Yukito's eyes, he knew just about everything about Touya. Touya was undoubtedly the more aggressive one between he and Yukito. Never rough, never controlling and never harsh. There was a difference between dominance and dictatorship.
Clow was a dominant man.
Yue, with enough courtesy to know better had put himself to sleep whenever his other half began to be intimate with Touya. But his selfish half convinced him to stay awake while things were still innocent enough. If he tried, he could toe that fine line between his being and Yukitos, putting his consciousness right next to his, so close that a stumble would have them changing control over the body they shared. At this point, it was easy to pretend it was HIM Touya held so possessively, HIM that he was kissing, his hand he held tenderly in his own…
And never did he think it actually WOULD be him.
But, despite the moon's reputation for inducing lunacy, Yue had not lost his mind. Touya knew exactly who it was he was kissing and it wasn't stopping him. The knowledge that it was Yue and not Yukito under him didn't deter him from running his tongue along his top lip or grasping at the most delicate hair at the nape of Yue's neck.
Touya was a dominant man and Yue, like Yukito, was more than willing to play the opposite role that came naturally to them. So it rather surprised Yue when he felt himself nipping daringly on To-ya's bottom lip, his slender hand resting on his broad shoulder.
To-ya sighed gently, opening his eyes slightly. Yue's eyes were closed gently, his porcelain features having lost their burrowed worry lines and pained eyes. He looked as if you could tell him Kero was watching and laughing his yellow tail off and he wouldn't give a care at all.
They broke apart gasping, cheeks red and eyes wide and hazy as they locked into each other.
It was amethysts that were sparkling under Touya's gaze, and not amber orbs. The fistful of hair was a shimmery silvery-white, not a thick, smoku grey and the flushed skin was flawless ivory. It was hrd to believe that Yukito lay sleeping in their somewhere.
"To-ya…I…" Yue started awkwardly, his feline eyes displaying a softness Touya doubted he'd displayed in 200 years. "I…um…"
Yue cursed himself inwardly; since when did he have to search and struggle to gind word? It was rather shameful to him, truth be told. He'd always prided himself on his calm demeanor, on how words came naturally to him, letting through only enough information to appease his Mistress or brother but still keep what he really thought safely locked away. Never once did he slip. Never once did he blurt out more than he intended. Every word that left his mouth was carefully weighed.
But all the rules seemed to have been screwed already.
"To-ya, aishiteru!" he blurted before he could stop himself.
Did he WANT to stop himself?
He didn't know.
Aishiteru. I love you. How many times had Yukito giggled those words in the dark? How many times had Touya growled low in Yukito's ear, Aishitereu?
Was it horrid of him to say such a thing? A kiss, Yue had learned watching to much high school drama unfold while Yukito was in control, did not mean love. It often meant nothing more than casual fun or primal need.
He had no right, he thought, to think that Touya kissing him meant he was attracted to him. More likely he simply got caught up in a moment. Or felt sorry for him…
He began t panic, his complex of always doing things wrong flaring with the sudden instinct to run. He tensed, his wings bristling, trying to figure out how to get from Under Touya. Yue was strong, but Touya was stronger.
So when Touya leaned forward once more, azure eyes sparkling behind choppy brown bangs and kissed Yue softly on the cheek, he was shocked into stillness.
He could feel To-ya's breath whisp against his ear as he whispered, so softly, as though he wanted only Yue to hear. As though he had a secret to tell that he wanted not even Yukito to hear.
"Aishiteru, Yue."
Touya felt something clench painfully in his chest, watching the angel's reaction to the words. Lavender eyes widened to an almost perfect roundness. Pale pink lips fell slack in disbelief and Touya could feel his heat hammering even through the layers of fabric he wore.
Was he really that surprised? Was a telling of love something so unexpected he didn't know how to react?
Of course, it isn't as though Yue had a fiery love life all those years shut away in a dusty old book. He loved Clow. He loved his Master. Now that he thought about it, Clow was more than likely the only constant human in the lives of the two Guardians. The first thing they knew was Clow and they knew nothing after until a few short years ago…
"How?"
"Nani?" Touya cocked his head, gazing down t the vision below him as he spoke.
"How?" he repeated sorrowfully. "How can you love me? Love someone who pretended to be someone they're not for years? How can you say you love me when it's Yukito that you love?"
The pain in his chest nearly engulfed him then. So he really was that shocked..
"Yue, you baka, you ARE Yuki." He murmured affectionately, a tone that sounded so foreign to Yue. Smiling softly he leaned on one arm and used the other to gently brush back the moon's pale hair, which hid his face so well. "Or at least, a part of him. Or he's a part of you…or something…"
"It is complicated." Yue sighed wearily, as though trying to sort through his multiple personalities was giving him a headache.
"I've noticed," he greed wryly, smiling in that way that made Yue's breath hitch. "However the heck that works between you two, I don't care. It doesn't matter. What DOES matter is that I love you, Yue."
"You don't even know me," he argued softly, his right hand resting delicately on Touya's forearm, a cool, comforting weight,
"I do too. I didn't know it at first, but I do kow you."
"You're being contradictory again, Touya," Yue mumbled, though not coldly. To-ya had the infuriating habit of not following the same train of though everyone else was on.
"I've loved Yukito for years," he tried to explain, thinking only briefly of how odd it was, having this conversation lying atop a surly angel. "I loved everything about Yuki; his smile, his optimism, his contagious cheerfulness. And I loved something else about him, something I could never put a name to. This…calm, quiet side of Yukito. No one else ever really seemed to notice it; Yuki was always the happy-go-lucky guy without a care in the world. And he never acted any differently. But…"
"But you could see a part of Yukito that no one else could." Yue whispered breathily. "You could see me."
Touya nodded slowly, and swallowed thickly. "I could see you, Yue. When it was you shining through Yuki, I could never picture what it was. It was like describing color to a man born blind, or teaching a deaf man to sing. I would almost have it, and then…you'd disappear."
Yue had all but abandoned trying to keep his face impassive. It did no good around this Kinomoto; what good was it to construct a steel wall when one could walk right through he door, easy as anything?
Yue opened his mouth to speak, his mind struggling to make words, noises, anything.
"T-Touya, I…I am not Yukito. You say that Yukito and I…you say our hearts are not so far apart but you are wrong. You know of me, but you don't know me. You know my presence, my demeanor, my aura. But I've been breathing for 250 years, Touya. You cannot know who I have been for those centuries."
"Perhaps not," Touya purred in his ear, sending a brilliant scarlet to Yue's cheeks. "But I'd like to learn."
He'd like to…he'd like to learn? Learn about Yue? About him, the surly, intimidating Moon Guardian with an unhealthy obsession for the past? To whom laughter was antiquity, who rarely spoke…
But he'd said quite a lot that evenong. He opened up to To-ya like he would have Clow…how many evenings had he sat at Clow's side, speaking softly of what was on his mind, what was worrying him. In his 'childhood' his questions were innocent and naive. What am I? Why do I look different from Onii-Chan? Why is my hair white where yours is black? Where does my moon go during the day?
It wasn't till he was older that questions of love and of men and women were brought upon his Master, at first in simple curiosity, later in burning frustration at a lack of understanding why he has started to blush and stammer in Clow's presence and not Kerberos.
Even then, he'd been tentative, afraid that his inquiries would make Clow upset with him, or he would find them silly.
And yet it had taken only an hour to spill his inner most pressing worries on Touya. Granted, he'd known To-ya for years through Yukito's eyes, but…but…
Oh helll. He couldn't even think of a valid excuse to argue with himself with! Words could only go so far, Clow use to say. Actions spoke so much louder.
He hesitated for a long moment, a dozen parts of his brain pulling him in dozen directions. But one part was just a little stronger than the other…
Still cushioned between the soft grass and To-ya's warm chest, Yue reached up with one blue-cuffed hand and wove his fingers through To-ya's thick, choppy hair, tangling them at the nape of his neck and giving a gentle tug.
Touya felt himself being brought forward suddenly, surprised by this unexpected move.
Yue surprised himself as well; creatures of submission don't often make such bold moves, fterall, and he waas taken aback by his own actions. It wasn't in his nature to…
'I'm a 250 year old angel. Screw nature,' he found himself thinking in an inner voice that hadn't spoken to him in decades.
Despite his brash advances, this kiss was softer, just the faintest brush of lips as Yue rested his hand fondly at Touya's neck, feeling his partners own hand on his chest, fingertips catching in the soft fabric of his robes.
When Yue pulled away finally, he was…well, Touya wouldn't call it smiling. More like a teasing pout, pink lips parted ever so slightly and Touya felt himself cursing Clow, deceitful, batty old magician. Create the perfect image of purity and innocence, dress him in the most modest robes, keep his hair plaited demurely and make him a frickin' tease!
His hand still reluctant to leave To-ya's neck, and reluctant to have To-ya move whatsoever, more like, Yue's violet eyes sparkled with the moon hanging overhead as his breathy voice blew warmly against To-ya's ear…
"I'd like to learn, too."
)o(
Holy Macaroni! Do you guys have any idea how long this story turned out to be?? 44 pages! And to think, this was suppose to be a one-shot!
Thank you to all those who have read my story and I hope you have enjoyed it as much as I have!
The poem quoted is not a real poem. It is mine.
Lottsa love,
LLC