There's nothing lonelier than being alone after being with someone.

It was almost easier before. I was alone then, but I always knew I would be. I didn't expect anyone in the arena to be my friend. But that was before I met Katniss.

I knew she would be different. I could tell immediately, even though she looked similar to everyone else. Her eyes were hard all through training, just like the Careers' eyes. They were hungry for victory, desperate for survival. Her aim was deadly and I knew she wouldn't hesitate if her life were on the line.

But her mouth was different. It wasn't set in the fierce line of someone who who thrived on competition. It didn't sneer in contempt for anyone weaker than she was. Her lips were soft, pliable, slowly curling into a smile when she noticed me in the rafters. Her mouth pulled at the corners with the ease of someone who knew what it was like to love someone else.

And I knew I'd be able to trust her.

I was still careful when I followed her. She didn't know how to trust yet, and I saw her jaw lock firmly when she first saw Peeta with the Careers. Betrayal was something she understood. I'd have to be cautious to earn her trust.

After I helped her with the tracker jacker nest, I grew bolder. I still moved stealthily, but I let her see me, not as a threat, but for who I was: young and vulnerable. I heard the words before I could see her mouth: "You know, they're not the only ones who can form alliances," she said.

I peeked around the tree then, and I could see her mouth. It was tender. And so I let myself lean into her strength.

We had a good plan. I was to set the decoy fires; she was to blow up the food. I heard it earlier, an explosion, coming from the direction of the lake. I want to go find her, but the voices earlier held me back. I'm perched high in the tree, near the spot of the third fire. I never had a chance to light it because it's too close to where the Careers are searching for Katniss.

I know I'm safe here for the night, but I'm lonelier than I've ever been.

Is she okay? Will she know I'm okay?

Now that I've experienced friendship, trust, love in the arena, I'm no longer as scared. Tomorrow, I'll find her. I imagine how she'll tell me the story of how she blew up the Careers' supplies. I'll tell her about lighting the decoy fires and being treed by their pursuit. She'll shoot a groosling, and I'll gather berries. We'll celebrate over a feast and wrap together for warmth when the sun goes down.

And soon, somehow, in the midst of a miracle, we'll find a way to the other side, as victors of the Hunger Games.

I just need to hold on until tomorrow.