A/N: So Nico and Percy first I guess. Or well the second Nico and Percy one. Its like I have my own little collection of one shots omf.
So I've spent my entire day doing brain exercises and studying, let's do this!
(All translations are in the Author's Note at the end of the story)
Disclaimer: I don't own Rick Riordan, but I do own my wonderful plot.
Nico walked along the mast of the Argo fixing up the ropes. He wished they were black. They would be so much better if they were black.
While trying to pull down the rope, Nico ended up pulling himself up the rope. He hoped he wouldn't slide down. Rope burn hurt. And he wouldn't be able to hold his books.
"Hey, Nico," a voice said behind him. A male voice. His voice.
Nico slid down the rope in surprise, effectively getting rug burn.
"Shi— oh hello, Percy, what brings you to this side of the ship, hmm?" Nico asked, trying to sound casual, but his heart was beating really fast and he was getting really nervous.
"Uh, all the bedrooms are that way..." Percy responded, looking at Nico oddly. Nico squirmed under his gaze. It was so intense...
"Uh yeah, uh yes, uh of course, uh wouldn't you, uh, like to, uh, be, uh, going, uh, there?" Percy looked at him blankly. "Uhhhhhhh." Nico tried to speak but that's all that came out. He could feel his cheeks heating up in embarrassment.
"Are you okay?" Percy asked, eyeing him skeptically. Nico couldn't blame him. He had been stuttering a lot.
"I'm fine," Nico assured. "I've just got to finish pulling down these ropes." He gestured to the ropes he had begun pulling down.
"Do you need any help?" Percy asked. Nico was about to tell him, repeatedly that no, he did not need any help from him, and that he'd like him to leave so he could finish in peace, but all that came out was, "uhhhhhhh."
Percy obviously took this as a yes because he starting pulling down the rope furthest from Nico.
Nico grew horrified. Horrified that Percy would stay, alone, in his presence and for what he might do. He had to get him to leave.
Nico stumbled across the deck, trying not to look awkward and instead pull off that incredibly sexy Son of Hades look, but he tripped over his shoelace and fell face first into the hard wooden floor.
Oh and did he mention he felt and heard his nose crack?
Percy was immediately standing over him and asking if he was all right. Nico just stayed on the floor, wishing he could disappear into oblivion and thinking that anything would have been a better option to this terrifyingly humiliating moment.
Percy began shaking him, probably thinking he was unconscious. Nico scooted away from him like an inch worm, probably looking like the incredible fool he was.
"Nico, are you okay?" Percy asked slowly.
Nico wasn't going to respond, but upon its own— and incredibly embarrassing— accord, his mouth said, "No. Leave me to die." Nico internally slapped himself. Don't tell the enemy your weaknesses!
"Do you need some nectar or ambrosia?" Percy asked, obviously ignoring Nico's last statement.
"Okay," Nico said. "Leave it on a plate next to me. Then leave." Nico felt awkward talking to the floor. Especially because wood chips were getting to his mouth and he was pretty sure he was getting tongue splinters.
"We're out," Percy told him after a few minutes. In those few seconds, Nico highly considered jumping over the ship ledge. Could he catch a break?
"Dat's doatay, Percy, I'm perfedly fide," Nico said, or well, tried too. He was horrified to hear that he seriously did get tongue splinters from the wood.
This doesn't normally happen, Nico thought to himself. No one is this awkward around their... well... Anyway, the gods must really hate me!
"Are you sure you're okay?" Percy asked. Nico wasn't okay. He really wasn't. And he'd be so much better if Percy were to just leave.
"Fid ad a diddle," Nico responded, cursing his swollen and punctured tongue, wishing to the gods he were someone else, anyone else. Even being Frank would be a better option.
"Are you sure you don't need any help?" Percy asked.
Yes, Nico thought. I certainly do need help getting you to leave!
"Doatay, Percy, dat's bit! Dive deen daidinb badiendlb dor bou do leab and dive bad dit! Cand bou jusd leab be adonb? Bo bou beadize dat di dab a cruth bon bou dan bou're madinb dis darder ond meh dan id aldeady wad?" Nico shouted, satisfied at having finally gotten his feelings out. He sat up, facing away from Percy and started pulling the splinters out of his sore tongue.
Percy started at him blankly. "What?"
Nico snapped. "For the love of all things Doctor Who! I asked you to leave me the Hades alone and to continue on your happy and blackless life filled with sunshine and rainbows and no young adult romance!"
Percy looked more confused than hurt. "Alright then," he said. "I'll see you around." Nico heard his footsteps fade into the distance.
Nico reached up and touched his nose. He could feel it intense swelling. It was probably plum colored by now too.
Nico sulked towards the bathroom, hoping he could maybe find some ambrosia to make his nose better.
But who should be standing in front of the bathroom? Oh one Mr. Percy Jackson of course.
At this strange yet extremely obvious turn of events, Nico abruptly turned towards the wall and started banging his head against it.
"What—" bang! "do—" bang! "the—" bang! "gods—" bang! "have—" bang! "against me?" bang!
After finishing his complaint, Nico rested his throbbing head against the wooden wall.
"Is there something wrong?" Percy asked him, looking at him in shock as he breathed heavily against the wall.
Leo came out of the bathroom, spraying water everywhere as he shook out his wet hair.
"Okay, Death Boy," Leo said, "I understand you'd like to use the latrine, but there's no need to scare a man in the shower like that. Next time knock with your hand instead of your head!" He stomped off leaving Nico confused. How had he known it was his head?
Nico took one look at Percy who was looking confused and rather se— no. He could not afford to think like that.
"Okay I'm done," he decided, walking off toward the crow's nest. It was time for some well deserved relaxation with a nice book. Maybe The Lightning Thief this time.
Annabeth walked up to Percy. "What was all that noise about?" she asked. Percy scratched the top of his head, his face still scrunched up in confusion.
"I think he asked if he could lick my cat in Russian but I'm not really sure," Percy responded.
And then a book hit him in the head. A book that may or may not have been titled, "How to Speak Russian."
*One Week Later*
A huge turkey dinner was on the table, and around it sat eight demigods and a Saytr.
"I don't understand what this meal is for," Frank said, looking extremely confused.
"Well you see, a long time ago the—" Annabeth began, but she was cut off by Percy saying, "Это благодарения, дорогой Фрэнк. Это благодарения."
The table sat in silence until Frank finally said, "But Thanksgiving was last month."
A/N: Okay the end was weird. It only went together with the other end because of the Russian. And I started this about three weeks ago. I've finally finished. Be proud of me. I've watched so much Doctor Who.
And I've probably read every Eleven/Rose fanfiction out there so yeah, I've accomplished a lot.
Oh and in translation to what Nico said with his splintered tongue:
Dat's doatay, Percy, I'm perfedly fide
That's okay, Percy, I'm perfectly fine.
Fid ad a diddle
Fit as a fiddle
Doatay, Percy, dat's bit! Dive deen daidinb badiendlb dor bou do leab and dive bad dit! Cand bou jusd leab be adonb? Bo bou beadize dat di dab a cruth bon bou dan bou're madinb dis darder ond meh dan id aldeady wad?
Okay, Percy, that's it! I've been waiting patiently for you to leave and I've had it! Can you just leave me alone? Do you realize that I have a crush on you and you're making this harder on me than it already was?
And for the Russian, it roughly translates to: It is Thanksgiving, dear Frank. It is Thanksgiving.
Happy Thanksgiving to all Americans!
Next up: Nico and Frank have an overly intense Mythomagic match.