We do what we can to survive. It's human nature. Everyone does it differently. Some people run and hide. Some people mask their hurt and their pain and their fear. Some fight hard, to protect what the have left. Some forget the past, and look to the future. And some find solace in others.

None of the above are classified as the wrong way to survive, as there is no right or wrong way to survive. Each person survives in a way that is easiest to them. The technical definition for Survival is: 'The state or fact of continuing to live or exist, typically in spite of an accident, ordeal, or difficult circumstances.'

I use a combination of the above to survive.

I run and hide from my friends when things get too much for me.

I mask my hurt and my pain everyday. Both my physical and my emotional pain.

I fight. I fight hard to stop the forces that are threatening to overtake me each and every day of my existence and I fight to protect my mind.

I block out the past, because that is the cause of all my hurt and pain.

And I have found solace. Solace in someone who I shouldn't have.

It all started so innocently. I remember the day it started, whatever you label it as.

I was sat at Gryffindor, eating my lunch and minding my own business, when it happened. Ron sat down beside me and started to shovel the food into his mouth like there was nothing wrong. But then, there never was for him.

He wasn't grieving. He wasn't even acting like had participated in the war. It was all water off his back, and that really pissed me off.

How could he sit there and act like nothing had ever happened? Like we weren't eating in a hall where hundreds of people had been murdered? It sickened me to my core.

But then, maybe that's my problem. I see things people don't. I still see the bodies of every single person who died in this hall. I see exactly where they fell, exactly where their blood was spilled, exactly where their soul left their body, and it haunts me. Every single night. It haunts me.

And I know it haunts Harry. It's hard to spot, but it's there. You can see there isn't as much light in his eyes as their used to be, like the fire has gone. His hand jerks to his scar occasionally, like he's remembering the past, and he hesitates sometimes before entering the hall.

I notice all these things, but some people don't. He puts on a brave face when people come up and ask him about the war. But he's got Ginny, and thank god he does. I have no one. I tried to turn to Ron, but he left. They always do, so now, I suffer in silence. And alone.

It was particularly bad today. I don't know why, but I think Harry sensed it too. He seemed more on edge and was even flinching to Ginny's light touches.

"Harry" I whispered. He looked at me with a distant expression in his eyes. I jerked my head to the door lightly and he looked to it then back to me before nodding.

I got up, as he did, ignoring the queries from Ginny and Ron and we headed out.

"Are you OK?" I asked.

"I don't know. There's something wrong today" He said.

"I feel it too. It's like there's something in the hall and it's pushing out it's magic" I croaked.

"I'm sure we're just being paranoid" He rationalized. I nodded and we headed back in.

We were sitting back down when something brushed past my neck, like a whisper of wind. I looked behind me, but there was nothing. Must have just been a draft.

A few minutes later it happened again, but this time there was a whisper with it, a manical, bitter whisper.

"Mudblood"

I looked behind me quickly but there was no one there. I was really starting to get scared, but no one seemed to notice anything.

A few more brushes against my neck and then I heard it. Everyone heard it. You couldn't not hear it it was that loud.

A cackle. The cackle of a maniac, of a deranged person who had escaped from somewhere. The type of cackle to make the hairs on your neck stand on end.

And I knew that cackle. It haunted me in my sleep.

I whipped my head furiously around the hall, searching for the source, but it was nowhere to be found. Certain Professors had drawn their wands, they too knew that laugh.

Then again, it rang through the hall, the notes bouncing from wall to wall like a ball.

Candles flickered, the ceiling looked distressed as dark storm clouds rolled in.

Then, from the ground she rose.

Her translucent from, gliding up from the ground. Even in death, she had an evil grace about her.

Before I knew what I was doing, my feet had taken me from my seat and were carrying me out of the hall at a pace I didn't know I was capable of.

"Come back my little Mudblood!" She screamed, followed by her high pitched laugh.

I ran and ran and ran and ran. I ended up in the dungeons, not the best place to hide from a maniac ghost who's hellbent on torturing you.

Hearing noises behind me, I dived into the nearest alcove and covered my ears with my hands and concentrated on my breathing, not the sound of her laugh, or her high voice or the sound of her speaking the words that shattered my world.

Just my breathing.

Then I felt like I was on fire. Every inch of me burned. Like a white heat. Every breath I took scorched my lungs and my mouth and every exhale felt like there was molten lava being spit up my throat.

The burning got worse and worse until every single limb was burning with a pain I had never encountered before. Screaming for help, I clawed at my skin, trying anything to get rid of the burn. Nothing worked, it just got worse the more I clawed at myself. Until suddenly, it was gone.

And there was... nothing. I couldn't feel anything. Not my hands, not my feet, not the ground beneath me or the wall in which I was cowered against. I couldn't even feel my breath come out of my mouth.

It was like heaven.

And I planned to stay here forever.

No more having to deal with Ron, or nightmares, or anything.

Just this weightless feeling of heaven.

.

.

.

.

I must have stayed there for days, if not weeks before my paradise ended and I crashed back to reality and pain.

"Don't move. You'll hurt yourself" A voice crooned.

It was so soothing, like a blanket of silk flowing over me.

"K" I mumbled.

I felt something being poured over me or rubbed into me and it stung. I hissed and the silk voice apologised.

"Where am I?"

"You're safe"

I accepted that and more stinging hit me. I hissed again and once again, he apologised.

With every sting, I was being pulled further and further towards consciousness and I started to grasp harder at it when things started happening.

First, there were the sounds.

Breathing, so light it was nearly undetectable, but in the silence of wherever we were, it was noticable. And it wasn't mine. He was breathing in a different time to me.

Next there were tastes. The taste of metal in my mouth, that reminded me of copper.

Then the touches. I twitched my fingers and moved my hands a little bit and found the surface beneath me soft to touch, like cashmere and velvet. And cushiony, like a bed. I must have been on a bed.

I pried my eyes open a tiny bit and looked at my surroundings.

Deep blue surrounded me, like the drapes on the beds in Gryffindor tower. But the drapes in Gryffindor tower were all Maroon, not blue. This wasn't Gryffindor tower.

Blue... Blue... Blue.

Ravenclaw tower?

Who out of Ravenclaw would have taken me all the way from the Dungeons up there? That's like 12 floors from here.

"If you think too much you'll hurt your head. It's in a fragile state at the minute"

I whipped my head to my right and regretted it instantly. A very large and very painful throbbing filled my head.

"I told you not to move. Keep your eyes closed and open your mouth"

I obeyed and lay there, waiting for the relief. Thankfully it came quickly.

Carefully and slowly, I opened my eyes and got the shock of my life when I saw Severus Snape sitting before me, reading casually in a chair.

"What are you doing here?" I whispered, scared the fire will creep back up my throat if I raise my voice too much.

"You're in my rooms. I'm allowed here" He explained.

I looked around. Bed. Wardrobe. Drawers.

Oh god!

"This is your bedroom" I said as the realization dawned on me.

"Well deduced Sherlock Holmes" He joked with a roll of his eyes

"Why am I in your room?"

"You don't remember?" He inquired, taking his glasses off and putting his book on the bedside table.

"It wasn't a dream, was it?"

He shook his head silently. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, willing the tears to go away.

"The curse is gone though" He said.

"Curse?"

"Bellatrix cursed you. She knew she could come back as a ghost and she cursed you the night she tortured you. Her curse was that every time you saw her in ghost form, it would bring you the utmost pain, both physically and mentally" He explained.

"Great" I whispered sarcastically.

We stayed in silence for a long time.

"How did you get rid of her?"

"I didn't. Dumbledore dealt with her. When I saw you run, I came after you" He explained. His voice and face both expressed concern.

"They were your footsteps I heard. I dove into the alcove thinking it was her" I confessed.

"I know. I figured you would. But your screams..." He didn't finish that sentence.

"I expect everyone heard then" I said.

"No. Dumbledore made something up to account for you running, and I cast very powerful silencing charms every time I turned a corner. No one heard a thing. They don't even know you're down here, I left through the staff door"

"Thank you... For coming to rescue me" I elaborated.

"I wouldn't wish that pain on anybody"

I smiled lightly and tried to sit up. He stood immediately and pulled the pillows up behind me and helped me into a seating position.

"Thank you Professor"

"How do you feel?" He asked.

"Stiff. My legs and arms hurt the most, but not as much as earlier" I told him. He seemed to take mental note of this.

"Yesterday." He said.

"Pardon?"

"Not as much as yesterday. It's Wednesday" He explained.

"What time?" I enquired.

"8pm"

"I slept for over 24 hours?" I asked, shocked.

"I drained your magic for a bit, don't worry, I put it back! I had to drain you to get rid of the curse, but when I drained you, it exhausted you. I was surprised you slept for only 24 hours. I was expecting more" He said.

"Sir, draining someone's magic is very tiring. Have you slept yourself?" I asked.

"Yes. A little. It wasn't as tiring as I expected. I'm fine"

I let it drop. I was still a little shocked that I was conversing so freely with the bat of the dungeons.

"Something wrong Ms Granger?"

"This is the longest conversation I've had with anyone since last May" I confessed.

"Ah. Well, lets test your knowledge while you're still chatty"

We spent the next hour or so testing my knowledge on all the different subjects.

"I have to ask, why did you run to the dungeons? Why not move through the higher levels of the castle?" He asked.

I shrugged and spent some time contemplating this before I realised why.

"I know why. Your class is the only class Ron doesn't bug me. It's the only class I can get some peace, because he's so scared of you" I said.

"Good. I like that. Would you like something to read? I'm sure you're itching to get your hands on a book" He smirked.

"To be honest, my head hurts too much to read. I think I'd just like to lie here" I sighed.

"Would you like me to get you anything?" He asked.

"Could you give Harry a note for me. I think he might be worried about me" I said.

"Of course. Let me get you some parchment and a quill"

And he disappeared through a door at the foot of the bed. A minute later he returned and I penned my note.

'Harry,

I'm fine. I don't know what Dumbledore told you all about my running off, but I don't really want to talk about it. I think you can figure it out, and if you have told Ron and Ginny about it already, that's OK, but otherwise, please keep it a secret.

I'm still in the castle, but I don't know when I'll be OK enough to leave here, and no, I'm not in the infirmary. Please don't hassle whoever delivers this note about my whereabouts, just know that I'm safe. Also please don't show this note to Ginny and Ron. Right now, you're the only person I can trust about my safety. I'm not trying to keep them in the dark, I just need to be left alone for a bit. So go with the story Dumbledore ran with please.

I promise you I'm safe.

Hermione.'

"All done?" Snape asked. I nodded and handed him the folded parchment.

"Will you be OK on your own for a while? I need to speak to Professor Dumbledore and I'll deliver this note to Potter while I'm out" He said.

"I'll be fine. Could you make sure that only Harry reads this? Thank you Professor" I said. He nodded and swept out of the room.

SNAPE'S POV

Leaving Ms Granger on the bed, I made my way up through the levels of the school, until I was stood at the gargoyle outside Albus' office.

"Gumdrops" I pronounced clearly.

"Ah, Severus. How are you?" Albus asked, jolly and full of joy as usual.

"Good. A bit tired, but good nonetheless."

"How is Ms Granger? Is she awake yet?" He enquired.

"Yes. She woke up at 8. She has sent me with a note for Potter. I think the incident has really shaken her up" I said.

"Really? In what way?" He asked, leaning forward on the desk.

"She isn't as focused as she usually is. Her knowledge of facts and schoolwork is still intact, but it seems she's scared. Very scared"

"You would be too if the woman who ruined your life came back to haunt you"

I nodded and took that into consideration.

"Talk to her." He said, taking me out of my reverie.

"Excuse me?"

"You know better than anyone else the horrors of the world she entered."

I sighed and thought about it.

"Fine, but don't make this one of your projects. And I'm only doing this because if it wasn't for her, I'd be rotting in the boat shed" I snapped.

"Thank you Severus. Now, go to Gryffindor tower. The password is Caput Draconis" He told me. I nodded and left the office.

He always manages to do something like that. Twist whatever I go to tell him into something else for me to do. But I had to admit, that Granger wasn't as vibrant as she used to be. She WAS just a child heading into this war, but she seems to have come out of it worse for wear. She still performs 100% in my class, but I have noticed she doesn't raise her hand half as much as she used to, and she isn't sneaking instructions to Weasley or Potter or Longbottom.

I stood before the Fat Lady, who was giving me a distasteful glare.

"I am here under the request of Albus Dumbledore. Caput Draconis" I said. She glared at me, before opening the door. I strode in and the entire common room froze.

"Potter. Is he here?" I asked.

Potter stood slowly.

"Come with me" I said and I left through the portrait door again.

I heard his footsteps follow me and I stopped and turned to him.

"I... I didn't do anything Professor. I swear" He stuttered. I rolled my eyes.

"I know Potter. I'm not here to give you detention. Ms Granger asked me to give this to you, and she gave me strict instructions to make sure that only you read it. I'm guessing that means no Weasleys" I said, handing him the note.

"Thank you Professor. Is she OK? Where is she? Can I see her?" He asked, firing multiple questions at me.

"Yes she is OK. She's awake. She is at an undisclosed location, but she is safe. And you can't see her yet. She needs more rest. I'll see if she wants you to see her before I make a decision. I suggest you read the note out here before you go in" I explained.

"Thank you again" He said and he made to go.

"One more thing Potter. Is Ms Granger OK? She seems very distant and unfocused" I said.

"You noticed that too? Not many people have. She has nightmares, very bad ones, from the war. And I assume you know the Bellatrix thing" He said. I nodded like I knew.

He obviously seemed very concerned for her welfare.

"What I'm about to tell you stays between you and I. Clear?" I asked. He nodded.

"Bellatrix cursed Ms Granger when they met. Bellatrix knew she would be able to come back as a ghost if she died, so she made it that if she came back, Ms Granger would experience the most excruciating pain anyone can experience. I removed the curse, but she still has memories of it. If she wants to speak about it when she returns, talk to her, but don't bring it up. As far as she's concerned, you don't know what happened" I warned. He nodded furiously.

"Take care of her" He said and he left.

I wandered back down through the levels of the castle and re-entered my quarters.

"How are you feeling?" I asked her as I sat in the chair I had previously occupied.

"Better. The throbbing in my head has calmed a bit. Did you give Harry the note?"

"Yes. I told him to read it before going back into the common room and told him not to let anyone else see it"

She sighed in relief and relaxed against the pillows.

We sat in silence for a bit, before I decided to man up and do what Dumbledore wanted me to do.

"Ms Granger, I have to ask, what did Bellatrix do to you?"

HERMIONE'S POV

"Ms Granger, I have to ask, what did Bellatrix do to you?"

I pulled a shuddering breath through my teeth.

"She... She spent 2 days torturing me. And then, she went and sought out my parents and murdered them in front of me" I confessed, my eyes filling with tears very quickly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. I knew the three of you were captured, but I didn't know what she did, and I definitely didn't know about your parents" He said. I nodded, and a sob filled my throat and echoed throughout the room.

A box of tissues quickly found their way into my lap and I used them well.

"I'm sorry. I know what it's like to lose you parents so young. My father killed my mother when I was in my 5th year" He confessed. I sobered up a bit.

"Why?" I asked, with tears still running down my face.

"I don't know. She was a witch, a pure blood one and he was a Muggle. He hated the way she would use Magic, for anything, even if it was to help us. He tried to beat it out of her, and then me when I manifested my magic" He said, looking to his lap.

I took a tissue out of the box and handed it to him.

"I don't care if you cry, it'll be our secret. I won't tell anyone, promise" I said.

He took the tissue and gave me a small smile, which I took as a thank you.

"What was your Mum like?" I asked.

He smiled, like he was reminiscing.

"She was wonderful. She was tall, and had lovely long brown hair and beautiful blue eyes. She was my world. She was the kindest person in the world." He said.

"She sounds wonderful. Sounds like my Mum. She had blonde hair though, but she was the kindest person I knew. She'd do anything to help anyone, even people she didn't know" I said.

"What about your dad?" He asked. I shrugged.

"Dad worked a lot when I was younger, he worked overseas a lot. I didn't really get to see him, but when he was home he was great. He's read me bedtime stories, play games with me, and he taught me to play the piano" I smiled at the memory.

"But they're gone now" I said.

"Yeah" He echoed.

"Professor, do you want to sleep?" I asked. He had bags under his eyes that could hold a week's worth of shopping.

"We can sleep top and tail. That should make things easier" I said.

I saw his head nod and I carefully moved some pillows down to the end of the bed and climbed under the covers. He stayed on top of them.

"Thank you for letting me get that bit off my chest" I said into the silence.

"It's fine. If you want to talk, you know where I am" He replied.

A/N So guys, what do you think? I know it's different and Snape is a little weird in it, but he has to have two sides. No one can be that snarky in private.

I've found a new love for Snape/Hermione stories, I hope you like this too!

Also guys, this story is taken from my account on Wattpad. I do own this story but sadly not it's characters.

YouSlyThing xx