A/N: I actually began this exactly one year ago today, and only just forced myself to finish it. I have trouble thinking of Frost not being in this, so he stays. The title is based on a Matt & Kim song of the same name.
Disclaimer: I take no credit, make no profit. None of these characters are mine.
"Any time you wanna talk, you know, you can."
Jane whipped here head sideways in her seat, her hair bunching up against the headrest and wedging slightly underneath her sunglasses. It was annoying. He was annoying. The statement was annoying.
Frost shrugged his shoulders at her accusatory glare, "If you wanna."
"Well I don't 'wanna,' so shut it and take the next left," Jane shot back, making a face as she emphasized how much she did not want to talk to him. About anything.
Frost drummed his thumbs on the steering wheel as he waited for the light to change, the blinker ticking in a rhythm matching his thumbs. Or maybe it was the other way around. Either way, it was annoying, and Jane ground her teeth together as she stared out the passenger window in frustration.
"Is this because of the Maura comment?" Frost asked as he began to take the turn, timing it so that the car's momentum forced Jane to press into the passenger door, and further away from him as the question was uttered.
Jane sputtered in her seat, gripping the armrest firmly to get a grip on her body's movement, and twisting to look fully at her partner.
"Is what, pray tell, because of the Maura comment? Please be specific, my delicate sensibilities might not understand your vagueness," Jane replied harshly.
Frost sighed, his body looking as if it were deflating, "Jesus, Jane, what are you so pissed off about?"
Jane blinked, feeling her anger ebb away and a mixture of shame and remorse quickly filling its place.
Exhaling, Jane turned and sat back in her seat. Lifting her hand, she pulled her glasses off and rubbed her face, groaning as she did so, "I was fine this morning, and then…"
Jane trailed off, her mouth slightly agape. Oh god, this morning.
Earlier.
Jane swore she was an innocent. A victim of circumstance.
Just trying to get from Point A – her car – to Point B – her desk – without hearing anyone mention, inquire about, or call attention to the fact that she had a very visible bruise on her neck.
A bruise which, to any who were not circumspect in their assessment of Det. Jane Rizzoli, would be mistaken for a hickey.
It was around midway down her neck, on an angle sloping towards the opening of her shirt, making anything but a turtleneck useless to her cause. Not that she hadn't thought of wearing one. However, the late summer weather combined with how sweaty she would be just wearing the damn thing – never mind that she couldn't even remember the last time she wore one – it might have raised more eyebrows, and caused more tongues to wag than just acting like it wasn't there.
She knew where it came from, and it was more mortifying to disclose than letting people believe she'd gotten some the previous night.
So she was willing to suffer. Let the Godforsaken little punk of a brother named Tommy never wake his dozing sister from her couch again. He was currently suffering the consequences of his actions, mostly with ice and painkillers. Jane just had a bruised shin from a vengeful coffee table, a sore elbow from her ungraceful fall to the floor, and a peculiar bruise from a brother who tweaked her skin a little too hard.
Almost to the bay of elevators, Jane felt her phone buzz and pulled it from her holster. Maura.
"Christ," Jane exhaled as she pressed the down button. She knew the good doctor wouldn't miss her newest unique identifier on her epidermis.
Frost and Korsak would, she had no doubt, but they would know better than to say something about it at work. Maura did not. Or at least, she wouldn't comment on such things at frou-frou social gatherings, but somehow didn't see anything wrong with drawing attention to something like this in the middle of the police station.
So, Maura tended to give counsel, without weighing the possible negative sociological effects her words might have on Jane in mixed (re: the homicide department) company, solely because she cared. She felt a smile tugging at her lips even as the elevator opened, how frustratingly complex. At least down here only Susie might chance upon such an embarrassing conversation. Cocking her head slightly in thought as she walked down the corridor, Jane realized that Susie often had the poor timing of either walking in on, or being present during various embarrassing conversations.
And had remained amazingly mum about them.
Pushing open one of the morgue doors, Jane made a mental note to invite Susie out the next time the group got together for drinks. She had earned a couple of free rounds.
Maura was not in the morgue, so Jane continued through to her office, where she found her best friend sitting at her desk, a phone to her ear, her eyes scanning the computer screen as she jotted down notes on a pad on her desk.
"And this began when, precisely?" Maura asked, her brow furrowed as she listened to the speaker on the other end. Looking up, she smiled warmly at Jane, her features twitching slightly as her gaze dropped centimeters, and Jane sighed, seating herself to wait out the phone conversation.
"I'm sorry, could you repeat that last part?" Maura's eyes finally left Jane, returning to the pad of paper, and refocusing back on the call.
Jane took a long swig of her coffee, listening as Maura wrapped up the call, reassuring the caller that she would do some research and get back to them soon. Lifting her eyes off of the floor when she heard the phone return to its cradle, Jane looked over at Maura, locking eyes with her best friend.
Maura's hand was still on the phone, her index finger tapping it slightly. Jane bet that the doctor's foot underneath her desk was crossed demurely at the knee and tapping to the same rhythm. It was one of her tells. She was nervous, worried, irked, or some combination of all three.
Eventually the silence, and Maura's prolonged assessment of Jane's current state caused her to raise her eyebrows and incline her head, "Maur, you texted me to meet you? What's up?"
Maura blinked, and shook her head slightly, a nervous smile briefly appearing, " Oh, I was going to head up to get something light to eat for a small morning snack, and wanted to check to see if you have had a proper breakfast."
Jane's eyebrows moved further north. "That's what you wanted to see me for? To check on my eating habits? Isn't that my mother's job?"
Maura's mouth tightened into a thin line, "No, Jane, I simply know that you usually don't eat enough to sustain you properly until lunch when you wake up late."
"And how, pray tell, do you know if I woke up late?" Jane shot out, sitting up straight, and suddenly feeling defensive. Maura's tone had an edge she wasn't prepared for. Normally this kind of conversation was playful, flirtatious even.
Something was off.
"Well, normally I would make my hypothesis based on your clothing combination, hairstyle, and the presence of periorbital dark circles. However," Maura folded her hands together, and leaned forward slightly before continuing, "I believe that the presence of a contusion on your neck might signify another reason."
Jane's jaw went slack. "Maur, are you…" Jane paused, swallowed, not believing she was about to use the king of all buzzwords, "jealous?"
The question was quite possibly the largest dip into the proverbial pond of what-ifs that she and Maura had run up to and backed away from every day since they became friends. She was not unaware of her attraction to her best friend, nor was she unaware of Maura's uniquely affectionate and flirtatious manner with her. However, years of friendship and dating men had forced Jane to push her attraction as far back in her mind as possible.
It seemed to have absolutely no trouble leaping back to the forefront at a moment's notice. Jane felt her pulse speed up and her neck flush with the rush of possibilities. Maura raised her chin slightly, her jaw flexing as she seemed to pause before answering.
Jane's phone buzzed in her holster, causing her to jerk in surprise, nearly spilling her coffee.
"Shit," Jane put her coffee on the table and pulled her phone out, reading Frost's text to meet her by her desk, "We've got a case, Maur, could we talk about this, whatever is happening, later?"
Maura's terse nod was all the answer she got, as she picked up her own phone, which had started to ring. As Jane stood and turned to exit, she heard the clipped voice, "Dr. Isles. Yes, Detective Korsak, I will be right up."
Jane didn't wait. She needed space. Breathing room.
All she got was an elevator ride.
Exiting the elevator, she strode into the murder room, hearing the second elevator ding behind her, no doubt with Maura in it. She had just made eye contact with Frost, who was sitting at his desk with Frankie, when a fellow detective sitting further into the room cawed, "Hey Rizzoli! Nice love bite on your neck!"
"Shut your hole Gomez, not like you have anything to boast about, what with your love life," Frankie shot back.
Standing from his seat, Frankie walked over to Jane, who swallowed, clenching her jaw. She had heard the heels clicking up behind her as Gomez had made his comment, had heard then come to a quick halt, and knew that Maura was waiting to feel out the situation before entering into it.
"You okay Jane? I heard from Tommy. That stupid brat knows better than to take pot shots at you."
Jane waved him off, running a hand through her hair, "You know he was always good at finding the most painful way at waking me up." Letting out a nervous breath, Jane locked eyes with Frost before turning to look at Korsak, whose eyebrows lifted.
"Are you saying, your brother did that?" Off of Jane's nod, Korsak let out a low whistle, "That boy has a brass set to do something like that to someone who owns a gun."
Jane chuckled, glancing over her shoulder at Maura, whose face looked like a mixture of relief and shock. Jane furrowed her brow before looking back over at Frost, "You called?"
"Possible case, we've been asked to go and check out the scene. Maura will come in a second cruiser on standby until we know what's up." Jane nodded, glad for the straightforward information.
"Great, let's get going," Jane went to her desk to grab her notepad, hearing the click of Maura's heels slowly approach her from behind.
She slowed her movements, hearing Korsak exiting the room and noting Frost leaving her peripheral vision, taking a moment to flip around the pens in the holder, picking out her favorite.
"Jane," Maura's voice was close, too close, and Jane closed her eyes at the nearly whispered plea. Standing up straight, Jane caught a whiff of Maura's perfume and swallowed thickly as she turned to acknowledge her friend, though that word could probably use a cold shower, what with all the liberties it was taking with defining itself today.
"Yeah, Maur?" Jane replied softly, her voice scratchy and thick.
"I would like…"Maura paused and wet her lips, causing Jane's eyes to flick down and focus on the nervous tic. It seemed that her subconscious was making a move for diving head-first into that proverbial pond.
Maura waited for Jane to bring her gaze back up to meet her eyes, a crinkle at the corners signifying a minor return of her flirtation, buoyed by Jane's reaction, "I would like to apologize for my manners earlier in my office."
Jane allowed her mouth to twitch halfway into a smile, her expression all but saying there was no need. Lifting her hand to visibly brush Maura's needless apology off, she was halted when Maura lifted her own hand and gently grasped her forearm to stop its motion.
"Please, Jane. You've earned it. Perhaps tonight over dinner and wine?" Maura asked, titling her head and flashing a smile.
Jane swallowed, there was that head tilt which Maura did for only two reasons.
1 – To tease Jane via indulging in Jane's current mood and/or flirting; often without malice and without sexual intent (supposedly).
2 – To flirt with a possible, or actual, sexual partner.
The possibility of both options compounding upon one another never seemed like a possibility, but if it had, Jane would probably have never assumed it would be this lethal.
Apparently Maura was willing to dive head first into the proverbial pond as well.
Jane gave Maura a long look, holding her friend's gaze long enough to gauge the seriousness of the invitation – and the less-than-veiled intentions behind them – and nodded silently. She didn't know if she could actually form an intelligible answer to the invite anyway.
Maura didn't seem to mind, and smiled sweetly before turning on her heel and walking out of the room. Jane sighed and leaned back onto the edge of her desk. What the fuck did I just get myself into?
Jane shook her head before lifting her eyes back to the door as Maura leaned her head back in, "Meet me at my place around 7? Bring the wine?"
"You trust me to pick something out?" Jane forgot all of her fears about tonight, focusing on the rare request.
Maura's eyes softened, warming as she smiled gently at Jane, "You have good taste, Jane. I trust you to pick something appropriate."
Jane felt her jaw ago slack at the statement. Nodding dumbly at her friend, Jane watched her wink before exiting fully, her heels clicking down the hallway.
"Fuck," Jane murmured, drawing her hand through her hair. She suddenly felt like she was going to an old fashioned gun fight with a water pistol. Not unarmed, but at a serious disadvantage. "I am so fucked."
Maura was already in the car waiting patiently for Korsak, who was chatting with Frost and Frankie, waiting for Jane to arrive.
"Gomez was such a dick back there," Frost murmured angrily as Jane reached the group.
Jane shook her head, not needing to bring up the subject any more than necessary. Gomez and his group were just grown up boys with guns and badges. Made it hard to work with them at the best of times. She knew a rumor would be circulating through the division about her "hickey" regardless of her brother's valor.
"Yunno Jane, you could always tell the hounds that it was Maura who did it. That'll shut them up." Frankie shrugged offhandedly.
Jane leveled a cool look at her brother. Strike valor, insert idiocy. She was already a jumble of nerves due to the impending dinner, mixed with a flurry of agitation at her youngest brother's antics and her workplace's general level of maturity…it made for an ugly cocktail of emotions. She didn't need to worry about how her colleagues would handle the possibility of her and Maura getting together, mostly because she didn't even know how to handle it.
Frankie's eyes widened at the sudden glare that Jane was giving him, "What? What'd I say?"
Korsak grabbed Frankie's arm and yanked him towards their car, a quiet chastisement obviously occurring before they got into the same car as Maura.
Jane sighed, closing her eyes and squeezing the bridge of her nose with her fingers.
"Want…me to drive?" Frost asked cautiously, taking in his partner's aggravated mood.
Jane dropped her hand, "Yeah, that might be wise."
"I'm sorry Frost, I'm not mad at you," Jane sighed, leaning her head against the cool glass of the window. Turning to look at her partner, she caught him flicking his gaze tentatively in her direction. "I'm mad at Frankie, and Gomez, and…fucking Tommy."
Frost nodded after each name, as if he expected as much.
"But it's not even the who I'm really angry at," Jane continued, looking out the windshield as Frost took a right turn, watching Korsak's car pull over to the side of the road, allowing the police tape, news crews, CSU van, and other police cruisers to come into sight.
"It's me."
Frost pulled over and put the car in park, taking his time before saying anything, "Why you?"
"Because it took Frankie and Gomez to make something finally click into place, and I'm really pissed that I couldn't do it on my own."
Frost raised his eyebrows at that and nodded once, slowly, not sure how exactly to respond. Quickly shaking his head when he saw Korsak walking towards their car, Frost waited until Korsak nodded and turned around, waving Maura and Frankie into the crime scene before turning to look back at Jane.
Maura glanced over her shoulder once to glance curiously at Jane. Jane swallowed, unable to tear her gaze away, not even when the doctor turned and continued under the tape. Jane watched her retreating form until she entered the front door of the house.
"You and the doc…" Frost began quietly, "I've always noticed some…tension."
Jane let out a dry chuckle at that.
"Perhaps unresolved," Frost continued carefully, "But not unrequited."
Jane turned her head to look at her partner, her brow furrowing, "How did you…?"
Frost lifted his hands in surrender, "Hey, I just call it like I see it."
Jane smiled gently at that and nodded in appreciation, "Thanks, Frost."
Putting her hand on the door handle, Jane pulled it, unlatching it and beginning to let it swing open.
"Jane," Frost began, coughing softly to cover his obvious nerves. Jane turned to look over at her partner, her eyebrow arching in question, "I wouldn't worry about what it took to get to this point. You're here now," Glancing toward the front door of the house, Frost nodded towards it, "So is she. I'd say go all in. Actions can speak louder than words."
Jane smirked at that, "Are you trying to tell me how to make a move?"
Frost chuckled and grinned, "I'm telling you that words have gotten in the way all these years."
Jane was struck at the truth in the statement. It was something she had never considered…but then again, she had never thought she and Maura would ever be anything but friends, and words were all they had.
Strip that from them, and all you had were raw, unfiltered emotions. Jane felt a tendril of desire coil low in her belly at that. That was what tonight would be; raw, unfiltered, and stripped of all pretenses.
Jane pressed the doorbell, feeling oddly like this was an actual date and she shouldn't just waltz inside uninvited.
It wasn't as if they hadn't had numerous dinners and evening conversations over wine before. This was just different.
So completely different, it was off the map.
She had been turned on for most of the afternoon. Especially after the way Maura had flirted casually with her at the crime scene, and again in the morgue. The holds were definitely no longer barred.
Not that she hadn't given as well as she took, she always did. Today though, after this morning's misinterpretation, which led to a whole new level of honest understanding of their mutual attraction, Jane found that every word choice was charged.
The double entendre became more subtle, but far more illicit. Subtext became more specific, as if both were testing out real boundaries for the first time. It was like she was learning everything about Maura all over again but in an entirely different light. She was no longer the friend learning about the wants and desires Maura wished from a potential lover, she was now that potential lover intent on fulfilling those wants and desires.
The door opened, jarring Jane from her thoughts, and focusing entirely on the woman opening the door before her. Gone were the heels from the work day, and the form-fitting dress. In its place was a v-neck white undershirt that hugged Maura's curves, the lace of a cream-colored bra stretching beneath the fabric. A pair of expensive-looking jeans encased her legs, revealing bare feet beneath.
Jane felt her jaw drop slightly. Jesus, Maura knew her well.
A gorgeous dress and heels would get her any day, but Jane was a practical woman. Not lazy, but she preferred comfort. She knew that Maura took great pleasure in getting ready and looking the way she did every day at work. She also knew that Maura enjoyed the occasional dressed-down look; and apparently Maura had noticed how much Jane appreciated that look.
Jane swallowed audibly, and ignored the flirty quirk of Maura's eyebrow at her obvious once-over.
Lifting the wine in her hand, Jane stated distractedly, still taking Maura in, "I, uh, brought wine."
Maura chuckled gently and opened the door further, "Why don't you bring that in, and we can open it."
Jane nodded and moved into the house, letting her frame brush past Maura, who paused in closing the front door to indulge in the intimacy of their closeness. The lock clicked into the place and Jane felt like a gun had gone off next to her head, "Jesus, Maura."
Maura turned at the statement, confusion etched on her face. Jane put the wine down quickly on the table near the entrance and moved back to Maura.
Jane pushed Maura back into the door by her hips, eliciting a gasp and lifting her hands to hold onto Jane's upper arms. Jane leaned her head down toward Maura's, but held back, her nerves getting the better of her at the last second. Her open mouth hovered over Maura's, and Jane lifted her lids enough to see that Maura's were already closed, as if she had surrendered to the act before it had even happened. Closing her eyes again, Jane turned her head instead, gently trailing her nose along Maura's cheekbone, her lips ghosting along her jaw until she reached Maura's ear.
"Maur," Jane murmured, feeling a rush shoot through her body at the way Maura shivered in response, her hold on Jane's upper arms tightening. A strangled gasp made it way to her ears, and Jane gave in. She needed no words from the other woman to convey any clearer what Maura's body was trying to tell her.
Tenderly, she kissed the skin right below Maura's ear, and heard Maura release a sigh, a hand lifting to tangle in her hair at the base of her neck, nails lightly scratching the skin. Groaning softly, Jane's hips canted in response, and Maura's hold in her hair tightened as she hummed in satisfaction at Jane's reaction. Jane trailed her lips along Maura's jaw, before lifting to hover briefly over Maura's open mouth, feeling warm puffs of air ghosting across her lips.
Moving suddenly, Jane sealed her mouth forcefully over Maura's, feeling more than hearing a surprised gasp catch in the doctor's throat. Maura's mouth opened without a struggle, her tongue dallying along the curve of Jane's lower lip, teeth nipping quickly along the same area. Jane felt a surge of arousal at the teasing and slanted her head more, opening her mouth to tangle her tongue with Maura's. She groaned at the taste and flexed her grip on Maura's hips, a hand sliding up along her side, skimming the edge of a breast, before cupping Maura's jaw, her fingers sliding behind her ear to grasp loose hair.
She felt Maura's sharp intake of breath as her hand had moved up her torso, and gently tugged on the doctor's plump lower lip with her teeth before releasing it and pulling back slightly to take stock of their situation.
Maura's eyes opened slowly, and remained hooded with desire as she looked up at Jane, her mouth taking in deep breaths, and Jane felt her gaze drop to the heaving motion of Maura's chest.
"I gather," Maura began, her voice shaky and a few octaves deeper than normal, "That you would like to forgo my apology over dinner at this juncture?"
Jane lifted her eyes to meet Maura's and cocked her head to the side slightly, thinking over her answer, "You know, words have been getting in our way for a while now. Why don't we find another way for you to apologize?"
Maura flashed a flirtatious smile, and sucked in a deep breath at the intentions behind Jane's straight-forward statement, "That was rather appropriately direct and succinct."
"Yea?" Jane murmured, leaning in closer, her lips inches from Maura's again. She wanted to be sure they were on the same page though; not wanting to prematurely sabotage what finally seemed to be happening, "Not too presumptuous?"
"Oh no," Maura replied breathily, "If anything, with you, bolder is always better." Jane nipped at Maura's lips, and Maura's sighed at the contact.
"I'll keep that in mind in the future," Jane replied against Maura's mouth, feeling a smile from the doctor as she closed the space between them.
Maybe she should thank Tommy for his terrible brotherly antics last night.
At the very least she could let him win one game of chess.
fin