A/N I finally got around to my big season seven rewrite. Pairings are still in flux at the moment, I can imagine a couple both straight and gay. Maybe I will even keep it gen for a change. Enjoy and feedback is always welcome.

Jax was dimly aware that now other people were into the room but he did not acknowledge them. He clutched Tara tighter as if holding her close would somehow breathe the life back to her and sobbed inconsolably. His world had been shattered and his mind was still reeling from the shock. He could not understand how this had happened. Tara had been safe. He had made the deal for her. Why was she dead? Who had killed her? The Mayans? The Chinese? The Irish? Had maybe somebody in club tried to protect him from himself? Or had he finally snapped and killed her? God know he had been close to it. Jax couldn't remember doing anything like that but he found it hard to trust his mind at the moment. He had no answers. All he had was the overwhelming feeling that his life was over. The people he loved more than anything else were dead and he was still here holding their corpses. Losing Opie had nearly broken him and he just couldn't do something like that again. Losing Tara as well had shattered him into a million pieces which were each drowning in sorrow.

He became vaguely aware of somebody touching his arm and thought somebody was saying something to him. He raised his head, expecting to see Chibs or somebody else from the club – even Juice – only to see Patterson. What was she doing here?

"Mr Teller," Patterson said, looking as spooked as he felt, "what happened here?"

Jax could only shake his head, trying and failing to stop crying.

A few hours later, Tyne Patterson was sitting in her office, trying to wrap her head around what had happened. It had been a crazy day. Teller offering to turn himself in had been surprising enough and now everything had been turned upside down again. So far, she only know one thing for certain: Dr. Knowles was dead and this death had hit Patterson much harder than she would had expected. She had felt for Tara, even if she had just been a tool to strike at the Sons at first. Patterson had really thought that things would work out well for Tara especially after her husband's change of heart. The DA still had trouble believing it. She had expected Tara to turn up dead when she had fled – if they had found the body at all – not Teller offering to go to prison for her. Patterson knew that a lot of husbands could forgive their wives almost everything but Teller had not struck her as the forgiving type.

Anyway, at the time she had been willing to cast her suspicions aside and take what was being offered. Leaving the Sons themselves intact was a bitter pill to swallow but nailing their leader would at least be some victory. Teller might not make the best scapegoat – he was too handsome and charming for that – but given all the hot water she had been in since the school shooting she had to be grateful for any kind of justice she could get. For a few hours it had seemed like everyone got what he wanted – with the possible exception of Jax Teller. But now Tara was dead and everything had changed. Her husband was under arrest for the time being for possible parole violations – he might have fired the gun they had found – and as suspect for her murder. But Patterson was not sure if she really believed in that theory. Teller had been a mess when they had found him, besides himself in a way she would have never expected from the usually so glib MC president. He seemed genuinely devastated by Tara's death and murderers usually weren't broken up about getting the job done.

It was possible of course that the murder had been spontaneous. Maybe the two had argued in the last minute, things had gotten out of hand and Teller had killed his wife in a rage only to be consumed with remorse a second later. Possible but unlikely in her book. For one thing, Tara had to be extremal stupid to argue with a violent husband which would be out of her life in a few hours and she did not peg Teller to be sloppy enough to stay around afterwards. She guessed she would know more once the forensic evidence had been processed. The strange thing was that they hadn't found the murder weapon. They had secured Tellers pistol but it didn't look like Tara had been shot. Had he beat her to death? Or had somebody cleaned up after the murder. If yes, who? Nobody from the club probably, otherwise Teller would have fled.

Patterson sighed. She had a million questions and no answers in sight. What she did know was that this would be a major shit storm. She had walked on thin ice ever since the school shooting and the death of Tara Knowles would make headlines left and right. Once people started digging and found that she had offered Tara protection and a deal, Patterson would look completely incompetent. Unless a miracle happened she would not be District Attorney same time next year. The trouble with Eli Roosevelt wouldn't help either, though there was a silver lining there.

The door opened and one of the local cops came in. "Ma'am. We have Teller ready for you. He was waiting for you in the interrogation room."

"Thank you," she said. She took a deep breath. Okay, let's see what they had.

Jax barely realized what was happening in the hours following Tara's death. Eventually he stopped crying and withdrew completely inside himself, ignoring everything around him. They took him away from Tara – he struggled but only half-heartedly – and he spent the next few hours in a cell somewhere in the Sherriff's station. This should have upset him but he couldn't feel anything but deepest sorrow. Eventually they put him into an interrogation room. He waited for some time – Jax honestly couldn't say how long it was – until Patterson entered. Jax glanced at her for a moment before looking down again. He really didn't care what she had to say. The gnawing ache in his heart blocked out all other input.

She sat down. "Let me say first that you have my deepest condolences, Mr. Teller."

"Thank you," he said tonelessly, figuring it would be over quicker if he didn't ignore her.

She waited for him to say more but he didn't so she broke the silence instead. "What happened back there? Who killed Tara?"

This broke through the numbness – a bit at least. He shook his head. "I don't know, I really don't know. She was there when I came home, dead. Roosevelt too."

"Ah, Eli is not dead," Patterson said.

Jax looked up in surprise. "He isn't?"

"He is in Saint Thomas in critical condition. He is not out of the woods that but the doctors are doing everything they can."

"That's good," Jax said, only partly because this was she expected him to say. Despite their rocky start, he had liked Eli well enough. He didn't deserve an end like that.

"Nobody is more relieved than I am," Patterson said. "Roosevelt is a good man and he might be able to tell us what happened once he wakes up."

"If he wakes up," Jax corrected, speaking more to himself than to her.

"I try being an optimist, Mr. Teller. For now, why don't you answer my questions so we can shed some light on this horrible tragedy?"

"Okay."

"Did you kill Tara?" she asked, dropping the bomb on him.

At once, the numbness and grief were pushed back into his mind. Fury took their place, hot and unexpected. How could she even ask him that? He wanted to hit her but kept wisely still. "Of course not," he said through clenched teeth. "I loved her."

"Maybe, but she was willing to make a deal that could have sent you and your club behind bars for decades and was trying to keep your children from you. That sounds like motif to me."

"Do you forget that I gave myself up for her? Why the hell should I do that if I wanted to kill her anyway?"

"I don't know," Patterson admitted. "To disperse any suspicion? Maybe you had all this planned out from the start. You made the deal with me and Tara to keep her from running and keep me off your club. Than you let one of your goons take her out and play the grieving husband so we don't start to dig into your club."

Jax bristled at the accusation though a part of his mind knew that the plan wasn't bad if slightly overcomplicated. "If you knew me at all, you would know that I could never do something like that to her. And why would I even go through all the trouble when I could have killed her on the run?"

"If she had disappeared you would have been our first suspect, and I wouldn't have stopped until I had you behind bars for that."

This was the last push Jax needed to get out of his shock – at least for the time being. He could grieve later, now he had to handle this before Patterson threw him into prison for something he didn't do. He focused and gave her his best unconcerned grin. She was reaching and he knew it. "Unlike now where nobody suspects me at all. But these threats would have more weight, if you wouldn't be out of your job in a few months."

"More than enough time to get everyone involved in this," Patterson said but Jax knew a bluff when he saw one.

"Then I wish you the best of luck," he said. "Can I go now? I have to tell my kids that their mom is dead."

The grab for her sympathy was unusually blunt and fell flat. "I am afraid you will have to stay for a while longer. At the moment you are our prime suspect and should I release you, you would have all the connections to fade out of sight. Besides, the gun was a possible parole violation."

"I didn't fire it. Having it wasn't a violation."

"Forensic will tell us that. And they might give us a hint on who killed Tara as well."

"So you really think I killed her? You think I am such a monster?" Jax asked both because he wanted to get some hint on how serious his situation was and because he really found the thought hard to bear.

Patterson kept her face carefully neutral. "Time will tell. I can only promise you that whoever was responsible will pay for it. I will make sure of that."

That made two of them.

Chibs hated the new Chapel. Truth be told, he hated almost everything about the new clubhouse. The fact that it was in an old ice cream shop was ridiculous. Jackie might find some irony in there but Chibs just found it unworthy of SAMCRO's rich history. They really should have the old clubhouse rebuild as soon as possible and get SAMCRO back where it should be. It should be Bobby's first decision as president. Bobby as president! That would take some getting used to. Was Jax already on his way to prison? Or had they given him some more time with Tara? Chibs amused himself with the thought of that uptight bitch Patterson barging in to Jax fucking Tara through the mattress. It would be sight to behold.

"Are you alright?" Bobby asked him.

Chibs sighed and turned to his new boss. Other people might be offended by Jax handing the gavel to a regular member rather than his VP but Chibs was glad this burden had passed him by. He had always seen himself as a soldier rather than a leader and didn't know if he would be a good fit. He guesses Jackie had never had this problem after practically being raised as prince of SAMCRO. "Just trying to wrap my head around everything."

"I get that," Bobby said. "Hard to believe Jax is just gone like that."

"Aye, never thought it would end like that. The boy giving himself up for love. Not the end you'd suspect for a SAMCRO president."

"He really must love her. I couldn't imagine doing something like that for Precious."

Chibs could imagine a lot of things he would do for Fiona. Maybe even something as stupid as that. But in the end it did not matter what they thought. Jax had made his decision and they would have to live with the consequences. "We have to think about our next moves. I would like to rebuild the old clubhouse. Get us out of this ridiculous location."

Bobby nodded. "I miss it too. Not sure where will get the money though, now that the guns are gone."

"We will have to figure something out. Maybe more porn."

The new president hesitated. His face was unusually serious. "We should talk about Juice."

"What about him?" Chibs asked. "You heard Jax, he's out."

Bobby looked at him indignantly. "Am I the only one here who has a problem with cutting Juice out? We have known the guy for years, he has been with us through so many shit and now you and Jax just want to take him out? I thought you liked Juice."

"I do," Chibs said, "but that doesn't excuse what he has done. Just think of what Juice did to Miles."

"Oh, you mean the thing you and Jax knew about for months and didn't do anything about?" Bobby asked.

Chibs raised an eyebrow. "This was Jackie's call. I wanted to kick Juice out for it but he gave him a pass. Probably to use him against Clay."

"So why does Jax suddenly want to feed Juice to the wolves? Has he even done something or has he just outlived his usefulness?"

"I don't know, brother. This is something only Jax and Juice know. It does not change anything, anyway. Juice's sins are grave enough already."

"So what exactly do you want to do with him, Chibs?" Bobby asked. "Excommunicate him? Call in a mayhem vote?"

Chibs thought long and hard about his answer. "I don't want to see him dead but I think he has to leave this club. He is too much of a risk for us to keep around. And the club deserves to know the truth about him. If they want a mayhem vote then instead of a simple excommunication, I will not oppose it."

"Jesus Christ," Bobby said. "Do you get what you are saying here? The vote will pass, Chibs. The club won't have another choice once they know the truth. And then we have to kill another brother. It was hard enough with Clay. I don't think I can do this again with Juice."

"Juice is no better than Clay was. Both have killed a brother, both deserve what is coming to him."

"Clay killed Piney for power. Juice panicked with Miles while being jerked around by Roosevelt. It's not the same thing."

"The result is the same," Chibs said, "and the punishment should be the same as well."

"Are you really telling me that you wouldn't mind seeing Juice killed? Maybe even doing it yourself? Because I wouldn't want to leave Juice to Happy."

"If it comes to it, I will pull the trigger," Chibs said, hoping he wasn't fooling himself. "But the club can't take any more secrets, Bobby. Jackie was almost as bad as Clay was when it came to keeping things to himself."

"Maybe but I don't think the club can handle this truth. If we come clean, we also admit that Jax knew all about it and used it to make Juice his bitch. Do you really think the club will be pleased to hear that?"

"No but Jax is gone. It would make clear that things are different now."

Bobby sighed. "Okay let's keep this possibility in mind but we really should talk to Juice first. Hear his side of the story. Maybe we can find another way."

Chibs highly doubted that there was a possible compromise here but he said nothing. He could understand Bobby being hesitant about this. It wasn't easy for Chibs either but he just knew it had to be done. "I wouldn't be surprised if he doesn't came back. I think something went down between Jackie and him when they said goodbye."

"That might be the best for everyone involved."

Aye, Chibs thought, it might.

It had been hours but Juice's hands still shook from time to time. He had calmed down somewhat by now but he knew that the panic was still lurking just beneath the surface could break out again any moment. He had gotten used to things going seriously wrong over the years with the club but today had been a whole new level of bad shit happening. It had started with Jax almost casually dashing Juice's hope of ever really getting back in the club. Juice remembered him saying good-bye – he had meant what he had said, he would miss Jax despite everything that had happened between them – and Jax hugging him and kissing his ear. The Puerto Rican had always craved tenderness like that and the small gesture had meant more to him than he liked to admit. But then Jax had turned his world upside down with just three little words: "You betrayed me."

That was it. No further explanation of what he meant and what would happen now. He had just left Juice and gone back to his kids. The Puerto Rican had been too stunned to do anything. It probably would have been smart at this point to cut his losses and get the hell out of Charming while he still had his life but Juice hadn't. Maybe he just hadn't known what to do or he still had hoped that things would work out in the end given that Jax was stepping down as president, to this moment Juice couldn't say what exactly had made him follow his last order rather than fleeing. Ironically, things had worked out on this front, he had found Gemma just fine – though too late to save Tara.

Shit, Tara. It was hard to believe she was dead. Juice and she might not be on the best of terms lately – he took her trying to run him over pretty personally – but he had liked her and thought she was a good fit for Jax. Maybe not the hottest girl Jax had ever bedded but certainly the best old lady of the bunch and a good friend of the club. She didn't deserve to go out like that, especially not after Jax had given up so much to save her. Did Jax know already? Or was he still saying his goodbyes, thinking that he was sacrificing himself so his wife could have a good life? He would be devastated when he found out and Juice didn't even want to imagine what he would do once he found out Gemma did it – and that Juice had helped cover it up.

He hadn't really thought about it at the time. His instinct had been to protect the club, whatever it took. This was why he had taken out Eli – which had felt more satisfying than Juice liked to admit – and cleaned up after Gemma. In hindsight this was a pretty bad move. Jax would likely be pissed about Juice helping Gemma and not coming straight back to him with the info about Tara's killer. But what the hell was he supposed to do? Let the cops arrest her? Than Jax could string him up for betraying the club. Either way he as in for a horrible death and the thought made the panic well up again.

Juice quickly took another sip of whiskey to calm himself. It was pretty good stuff. He never would have guessed Wendy had a taste for it but maybe her years with Jax had paid off. He wondered what she would think if she knew that Gemma had stashed Juice at her place. Pretty ironic given how much those two had butted heads over the years. Supposedly this was just a short stop-over until Gemma got him out of town – her idea not his – so maybe Juice should stay sharp but he just needed something to take the edge off. It was just too much at once. He had killed a cop, betrayed Jax and lost his place in the club – the only thing that mattered to him – for good this time. Drinking until he blacked out sounded like a pretty good idea right now. His world was quite fuzzy already which was good in Juice's book. He didn't want to see things too clearly at the moment.

Maybe the worst thing about the current situation was how unfair it was. He hadn't meant to say anything to Nero, things had just slipped out while he had been high as a kite. And why did Jax give a shit anyway? Nero was nothing more than a washed-up pimp whose usefulness had ended when he had set them up with Diosa. Just because Gemma was suddenly into brown dick didn't mean Jax had to play nice with the guy or care about his opinion. Juice had been with the club for years, Jax could give him some credit for that rather than trying to please an outsider. There were his other missteps, of course, but he had already paid his dues for those hadn't he? So Jax really should have let this one slide.

The door opened and Juice went for the gun on the table in front of him immediately. Then he recognized Gemma and relaxed. He noticed she was carrying a bag. "Got you some supplies. Some cash too. Enough to get you out of state."

"Thanks," Juice said, sinking back onto the couch he sat on and taking another sip. He poured another noting that the bottle was much emptier than expected. He felt nothing but shock, though, no sign of the alcohol in his system.

"Are you alright?" Gemma asked, looking at him intensely.

Juice guessed she didn't like what she saw. He was in his black undershirt and jeans, probably very drunk at this point and if he looked as miserable as he felt, it was a sight to behold. "What do you think?"

"What's this?" she asked, pointing to the pill bottle next to him. "Oxy?"

Juice shook his head. "Some benzos, I took a few to calm me down. Worked pretty well. I would take more but then I would go to sleep."

"And you combine that with booze?" Gemma asked. "Are you out of your mind?"

"Ah, I should be fine – I guess. And I needed it to take the edge off."

"Jesus Christ, Juice. You're supposed to get out of town, not get high."

"Maybe but it is the only way I can take this. Not like it matters anyway. My life is over, not much I can do about it"

"Don't talk like that. It's not that bad"

Juice laughed at that. "Really Gemma? Jax just kicked me out of the club for something I didn't even mean to do. Which would be enough to get me brutally murdered by the way. But then I managed to make it worse by killing a cop and protecting the woman who killed his wife. What do you think Jax wil do when he finds out?"

"Which is why he can never know," Gemma said. "The truth would shatter him."

Juice guessed she had a point there but keeping something huge like this secret felt wrong to him. He took another drink and shook his head. "You shouldn't have done it, Gem. You shouldn't have killed Tara. Jax will never forgive us. Not after he gave up everything to protect here."

"I didn't know what Jax did. I thought Tara had ratted and was just protecting Jax and the club. It was a horrible mistake but there is nothing I can do now except trying to minimize the damage. Part of that is that Jax can never know the truth."

"And what is he supposed to think? Somebody killed Tara, he will never stop until he has found her killer."

"Which is why we have to give him someone. Think, Juice, does anyone have enough beef with the club to strike against Tara."

"The Mayans or the Chinese, I guess, we could...no that's insane. If we do this, Jax will start a war with whoever we blame and then who knows who could get hurt."

She scowled. "And what is your alternative, Juice? You said it yourself, Jax will never stop looking for Tara's killer. And no matter how well we cleaned it up, we will never be safe until he stops looking. And I don't want to even imagine what not knowing would do to Jackson. He would probably start lashing out all by himself. We have to do this, Juice."

It was really tempting for Juice to just follow her lead and save himself but realized that he couldn't. It was too insane, too much could go wrong. He would never forgive himself for causing something like this. "No, we can't do that, Gem. It could get everybody killed."

"Well we have to do something. You got any idea?"

As a matter of fact, Juice had. The solution was suddenly clear to him and his new determination even cut through the drug haze. "Only one thing I can do. I have to talk to Jax. Explain everything."

"Are you out of your goddam mind? He will kill you, Juice."

Juice looked at her and smiled. "I don't really care at this point anymore. I juggled so many lies, betrayed so many people to save my sorry hide, I just can't do it anymore. It has to end, one way or the other. I think Jax will even forgive the other beef we had, if I explain what happened. I am not sure about my role in Tara's death. But I will not let the whole club suffer for my mistakes."

"And what about me, Juice?" Gemma asked, something that could be panic in her voice. "What will happen to me when you come clean of everything?"

"I'm sorry, Gemma, but I can't protect you from this. Might be best if you come clean first. The chances aren't good but I think Jax can forgive you almost everything, maybe even this." He stood up. He half expected to fall back down again but his feet were surprisingly steady. "I should get back to the clubhouse. The sooner I come forward, the most likely it is I can stop them from doing something stupid." He went to the back of the apartment to get his shirt and his cut. If he was to die today, he wanted to die with SAMCRO's symbols on his back. When he came back, Gemma looked as defeated as he had never seen her before. He guessed she was not used to losing control like that. Juice should probably get moving before his courage left again. But surprisingly he was no longer worried at all. Truth be told, he felt strangely out of touch with reality as though everything was happing to somebody else. Juice wasn't sure whether this was a good sign or not.

"Never thought you would be so brave," Gemma said and Juice thought she even meant it. She pointed at his still full glass of whiskey. "Or is it the booze speaking? How many of these did you have?"

"Just enough," Juice said with a smile. Though he guessed one more couldn't hurt. He took the glass and emptied it in one go. He had the feeling that the booze tasted differently than before though it was hard to be sure. Maybe he was just getting drunker. He would have to be careful not to crash his bike on the way to the clubhouse. That would just be embarrassing.

"Is there really nothing I can do to talk you out of this horrible idea? You will only get both of us killed."

"Better us than all of SAMCRO and whoever gets caught in the..." Juice stopped, suddenly feeling dizzy. The world started to feel even more unreal than before. Juice felt his feet give way under him and fell on the couch behind him. Gemma stood from her chair and moved closer to him. "What...what's going on?"

"You shouldn't leave your drink unprotected," she said simply.

Juice's hand went to his gun but his movements were so slow and uncoordinated that Gemma could easily pluck it from his hand. "Sorry about that, Juice, but you really leave me no choice. I can't risk you blabbing to Jax and running everything. I really hoped that you would be smart enough to run for it but it seems like you want to hard way out. Well, I can help with that, sweetheart."

"Don't...don't do it," Juice stammered, feeling the world grow fuzzy around him.

"I have to. And don't worry, you won't feel a thing. You even gave me the perfect tool for it." She took the pill jar from the table. "Just some more downers and you will go right to sleep. My gift to you. Nothing personal, Juice. I really appreciate your help today but I can't let you tear this family apart."

Juice wanted to do something but the pills kicked in in full now and he lost consciousness.