Looking at him now, it hurt. His beautiful face was pale and cold. Even though he looked like he was ready to go out, he was far from it. For no longer was that Tommy, but a mere shell of a man that once was and never will be again. Adam took the back of his hand and gently glided it along Tommy's cold cheek as a single tear left his glass blue eyes. He looked around for a minute, everyone was crying, oh but the things they wouldn't know. The things they would never get to bare witness to.
He looked back to the shell in the casket, the shell that he knows all to well. Oh the things he used to share with that tiny shell and the things that shell didn't even know they shared. What was this? That shell left behind a gift, an ever so tiny and fragile gift. It was the only thing Adam had left of Tommy. And the little gift couldn't even be seen yet by anyone, not even Adam. Oh, but it sure could be felt.
Adam kissed Tommy's forehead as he left the room. He couldn't stay for the burial, it would have been to much to soon. He couldn't risk losing what he had left either. He went back home, or what could be called home anyway. He passed the bedroom which had not been slept in since Tommy left. He went to the second bedroom, the one him and Tommy had turned into a nursery. They had always planned to adopt, never did they expect they could have had one together! The room flowed with beautiful color, purple, yellow, lime, and even dashes of glitter on the furniture. He sat in the rocking chair next to the window. He looked aound and seen pictures they had put in there, pictures of him and tommy and even some of them together. "We love you!" was written on one of them, "Daddy" and "Dad" on a few of the others.
Adam held his head in his hands and cried, he couldn't believe Tommy was gone. Oh and his death! That in general was trumatic! Adam felt almost as if Tommy couldn't stand to be with him anymore, that life with him just wasn't good enough. He felt that it was his fault for Tommy's untimely death. What happened you ask? Well friends, there's a reason why that bedroom is closed off. It's the room Tommy took his life in.
For a few years Tommy and Adam had been dating secretly. The band, the fans, nor anyone else had any idea. They were so happy together! They always stayed close to each other, when one felt bad the other could feel it as if it was them and vise versa when one was happy. "You guys are going to get AIDS." Adam remembered someone saying to them. Actually neither of them had gotten anything, they were really careful about it. Adams chest felt as if his heart didn't exist anymore. He wodered for a moment if Tommy's spirit felt the same.
Finally Adams stomach growled almost as if to purposely snap him out of his thoughts. He made his way to the kitchen and made himself something him and Tommy used to share. "Guess there's almost nothing like a PB&J sandwhich." He said to himself. He ate one half of it and left the other half. I suppose in hopes Tommy would come looking for something to eat. Then he went to the livingroom and laid down on the couch.
He starred at the ceiling, unable to relax. He hadn't slept since Tommy passed even though he knew it was bad for not only him but the little gift growing in his abdomen. Then suddenly, out of nowhere, a great tiredness came upon him and he closed his eyes because he couldn't keep them open anymore. As he fell asleep he swore he heard Tommy. "Go to sleep baby boy, goodnight, I love you, I always have, and I always will." Adam smiled as he drifted off to sleep.
As he woke up the next morning, he swore he actually FELT Tommy. As if Tommy was sleeping next to him. He smelt his cologne, felt his warm soft skin, ran his fingers through his silky blonde hair, and Tommy had his arms wrapped around him. Adam kept his eyes closed just to keep feeling this. Finally the alarm rang and he knew he had to get up. As he opened his eyes the feeling slowly faded, but he thought he seen a faint outline of Tommy walking into the kitchen. He jumped up and ran into the kitchen and SEEN Tommy! Tommy seemed normal. Tommy went down the hallway and Adam followed. Tommy turned and walked through the door to the locked bedroom. "Come and see..." Tommy called. Adam started shaking when he thought about going into the room.
Adam slowly opened the door, but tommy wasn't there. "Come and see..." he heard from the master bathroom. Adam defiantly didn't want to go in there. All he thought of was how red the white tub was when Tommy was last in it. "Adam...Come love me..." the ghost beckoned. Adam, almost unwillingly, was drawn into the room. There Tommy was, taking a bath like how he normally would. "Come love me baby boy..." Tommy said, looking at Adam with lust.
In the pit of his stomach, he thought something wasn't right. He couldn't tell that to his heart though. He undressed and got in the tub, snuggling his back against Tommy's chest. He rested his head on Tommy's shoulder. "I knew you would never leave me Tommy..." Adam said kissing Tommys forearm. "My body left you, I could never leave you though." Tommy replied, he kissed Adams lips. "You know, you left someone else here with me..." Adam was a little nervous. "What do you mean BB?" Tommy looked at him a little confused. Adam raised up off Tommy's torso as he took a deep breath. "A baby...Tommy...you left a baby..." Tommy immediately wrapped his arms around Adams lower waist rubbing his hands all over the tiny person. "There?! In there?! How far are you?! What's it going to be?!" Tommy was so excited. "Only a few weeks, I don't know what it is yet." Adam said smiling. He rested against Tommy again and Tommy ran his fingers through his hair.
"Tommy..." asked adam, "Why did you leave me the way you did?" Tommy looked at Adam and said "It wasn't you, it was me, I was fucked up in my head. I couldn't think, I wasn't thinking, the only thing I thought was how much of a burden I was on you." "How was you a burden on me?" Adam was a little hurt now. "Well, I drank and stuff and I'd come home mad or some shit...I hated myself for it..." Adam looked in Tommy's eyes, they were more vibrant than they ever were in life. Adams stomach cramped and it made him hold himself as he put his head down. "Are you ok Adam? Is the baby ok?" Tommy was rubbing Adams back lovingly.
Adam didn't know what was with Tommys thoughts when he passed, but he was glad Tommy was there in spirit. "I'm fine, the baby just squirmed the wrong way." Adam chuckled as he kissed Tommy quickly on the lips and got out of the tub. Adam quickly went to the guest bathroom and locked the door. He doubled over on the edge of the tub there from the cramps he was having. He was scared to death, he didn't want to lose the last actual flesh he had left of Tommy. As the cramps stopped he attempted to stand again, but when he was nearly standing he suddenly blacked out.
Tommy heard a loud thump from the other room so he went towards it. He seen Adam on the floor and quickly picked him up. He laid him on the bed as Adam groaned in pain. "Adam?" Tommy said while rubbing Adams head trying to wake him. "Adam gasped as he woke up, "Tommy, It hurts! Somethings wrong isnt it?! whats wrong!? I don't wanna lose you again!" Adam started to cry hysterically. Tommy laid a hand on Adams abdomen as he stroked Adams hair. Suddenly the pain stopped. "This is why I asked if anything was wrong with the baby...I'm dead already, but I can give a little more of myself for this little one"
Adams eyes rolled back in his head as he passed out again. Tommy laid next to him, stroking his hair as he slept, yet keeping a hand on Adams abdomen where the baby slept. He could barely feel the baby squirming in Adam and it made him smile. "You're gonna be just fine little guy" he said then he turned to Adam and kissed his cheek, "And you'll be just fine to baby.."
The next morning Adam woke up with a tingling sensation. He looked and seen the covers were raised. "...oh...looks like I have a small issue..." He laughed. He stretched and turned to cuddle up to Tommy. Tommy was already awake but Adam didn't notice. Tommy felt what Adam was packing and he reached down and slightly stroked it. Tommy felt Adam reach around his waist and hold onto his shirt. He could hear Adam breathing in short quick breaths.
Adam buried his face in Tommys chest, he was already really close and he was trying hard not to cum. Suddenly, Tommy stripped Adam, propping his legs up and apart. "What are you planning to do Tommy?" Adam was itching for Tommy to touch him again. Adam bit his bottom lip as he groaned, "God Tommy, touch me!" Tommy got in between Adams legs, slowly licking Adams cock from the base to the head. Saliva dripped from his cock and Adam loved it! Adam couldn't hardly control himself anymore, his back arched as he moaned.
Tommy locked eyes with Adam and didn't break contact as he slowly put Adams member in his mouth. Adam could feel it building in him, he knew he was about to explode all in Tommys mouth. His toes curled, in their own way grabbing the sheets. "T...Tom...my..." Adam grabbed the headboard. Tommy groaned, vibrating Adams cock. Adam couldn't take it anymore. He thrusted his hips up as he came, overflowing Tommys mouth.
Satisfied, Adam totally relaxed, he went almost totally limp. He had his eyes closed, gaping open his mouth as he gasped for air. Tommy got up to Adam and passionately kissed his lips in between Adams gasps. He straddled Adam, taking adams wrists and holding them against the bed. He kissed down Adams neck as he pressed his body against Adam. "Y-you're hard...Tommy..." Adam couldn't help but rub his hips against the bulge in Tommy's pants. Tommy throbbed as Adam kept rubbing, Adam wanted Tommy so bad. "Take me tommy!" Adam begged. Tommy broke from his kissing and looked at Adam. He unzipped his pants letting his hard cock spring out. It was dripping with precum all on Adams abdomen. IT quivered as Adam leaned in for a kiss. Tommy met him half way and entered his mouth with his tounge. Suddenly Adam felt a thrust inside of him. This shocked him as he broke the kiss and let his lead fall back. Tommy put the rest of himself in Adam as adam groaned with every inch that entered him. Adam wrapped his arms around Adams neck as he viciously kissed Tommy, exploring his mouth as he moaned.
Tommy held Adam as he thrusted inside of him, being careful not to disturb the fragile baby inside Adam. Adam dug his nails in Tommys back, making him thrust harder and faster. "Fuck adam!" Tommy shouted. As Tommy Filled Adam with his juices Adam arched his back in rythm witht he cum shots. Tommy pulled away from Adams mouth as a bridge of saliva was left. As tommy pulled out of Adam his cock quivered as it released what was left on Adams lower abdomen.
As they laid there again, Adam fell back asleep. "I'm kind of glad I'm a ghost now...I can watch you sleep. You look just like an angel..." Tommy thought. A few weeks went by and it started to get really noticeable that Adam was gaining weight. tommy didn't mind though. "Do you still think I'm sexy Tommy?" Adam asked, blushing. "Of course I do! Besides, since you have a little us inside of you, you look even sexier." Tommy chuckled. Adam took Tommy's hands and pressed them on his stomach. Tommy laughed as he felt the little one move. Adam propped his back with his hands as Tommy kept messing with his stomach.
"So, are you going to have it at a hospital BB?" Tommy asked pulling away somewhat. "Actually...since you're here...I was thinking maybe...we should have it here, at home." Tommy looked at Adam a little confused. "Why?" He asked. Adam cupped Tommy's face. "I thought since...your life ended here, wouldn't it be fitting for this ones life to start here?" Tommy kissed Adams stomach and said "whatever you want BB, I'll be here."
As the weeks went by Adam started to feel like Tommy had never really left at all. He could feel him, hear him, smell him, touch him, everything as if he was alive. Soon though it got hard for Adam to get around. He found himself gasping like he had been working out or something just from getting off the bed or couch. He was getting more moody lately to, more sad than happy. It didn't help either he was getting scared since the baby was due any day. "Tommy, you'll be here when its...time...right?" Adam asked. "Of course, where else would I be?" "Just wondering" "Scared?" "Yea the water broke...of course im scared!" Tommy didn't catch it at first but when he did he immediately jumped on it. "Oh my god bb, do you want anything? Water maybe?" "No, just a hand!" Adam said as he clutched tightly to Tommy's hand.
Adam couldn't hardly breathe with the pain shooting through him. "Tommy, this really hurts!" He said. Tommy, not knowing what else to do, attempted to relieve some of the pain Adam was going through by rubbing his stomach to ease the contractions. "Tommy, help me get to the bathroom" Adam requested. "Why?" Tommy asked, "Because, its important to me, thats where you left, thats where this one should enter!" Tommy didn't ask anymore questions and helped Adam to the bathroom. He got Adams soaked pants off and thre them in the hamper.
"I'll be right back, I'm going to go get a blanket, a shirt, and a diaper for the baby." Tommy quickly left the bathroom. "Oh god tommy dont go right now!" Adam yelled. Tommy was back faster than Adam expected. Tommy picked Adam up and put him in the bathtub, running the hot water. "This will help with the pain, it'll loosen your muscles some. Adam couldn't do anything but scream and gasp for air. Tommy stroked Adams hair as Adam finally got brave enough to push.
Adams face was so red it looked like a cherry. "slow and steady wins the race BB" Tommy coached. "I can't help it Tommy! I just want this thing out of me!" Adam cried as he kept trying to bare down. "I know baby I know, just breathe." Tommy said, still stroking Adams hair. Soon a round ginger colored fuzz ball started to appear. Tommy acted fast, helping get the baby on through. "Come on Adam, the heads already out!" Tommy took Adams hand and let him feel the hair on the baby. Adam was crying now from pain and joy. "Ok but two more max and if this baby isnt out it's just going to stay with me forver!" Tommy laughed. Before they knew it they had a fat little baby in their arms.
"Oh my god tommy he's beautiful!" Adam said, crying even more. The baby cried loudly. "He has your tounge obviously! And your ginger hair." Tommy chuckled. "He has your nose though!" Adam snapped back. Adam checked the baby from head to toe to make sure all of its fingers and toes were there, comparing features and especially checking for freckles. Tommy was cleaning him as Adam was checking. He put a diaper and an outfit on him as he kissed them both.
Finally the baby was silent as he slept in Adams arms. Adam was smiling, watching the baby sleep. "Tommy, this is the best thing you could have ever given me..." Adam smiled as he looked up, but he didn't see Tommy. "Tommy?" Adam looked around, "Tommy where are you?!" The baby cooed, "Sh shh sh shhh..."Adam whispered. He could barely even feel his bottom half but he got up and out of the tub. He stumbled to the bed as he laid the baby on the softest pillow. The baby fussed a little, then gently fell back asleep.
Adam was worried. Suddenly a nurse came in. "What on earth are you doing out of bed Mr. Lambert?!" She quickly got him onto the bed. Adam was confused, he looked over to where the baby was laying as the nurse quickly grabbed him. "What are you doing with my baby!?" Adam tried to jump up but another nurse restrained him on the bed. "What's going on?!" Adam yelled. "Tommy! Tommy! They took him! Tommy they took him!" Suddenly Adam looked around and seen a hospital room. He fell silent. He watched as they took the little baby from the room. "Mr. Lambert," said one of the nurses "Mr. Ratliff has been dead for almost 9 full months now. And though, we don't know how, you just had a baby and due to your mental state we had to take him from you."
"YOU'RE LYING! TOMMY WAS JUST HERE WITH ME! WE WERE AT HOME!" Adam screamed. "Sir, you haven't been at home since Mr. Ratliffs death." Adam burst into tears as he just buried his face in his pillow. "Where's my baby...what are you going to do to him?" "We're putting him up for adoption of course, since you're not able to properly care for him." "YOU CAN'T THATS ALL i HAVE LEFT OF TOMMY! THATS THE LAST PART I HAVE OF HIM! PLEASE DON'T TAKE HIM FROM ME!" Adam jumped up, grabbing the nurse as he begged. "MR LAMBERT GET OFF OF ME! WE'RE PUTTING THE BABY UP FOR ADOPTION AND THATS FINAL!" "At least let me see him again..." "I'm sorry but no, you won't see him again for at least 18 years."
The nurse left the room. Adam just sat on the bed. He looked over to the window. It was sunny outside, but inside his heart ached. He didn't have Tommy, and the last thing he had of Tommy was gone to. He couldn't take it. He went to the window and opened it. The air was crisp with the morning air. He looked down and everyone below was ants. He seen tears leave his eyes as he got up on the ledge. For just a little bit, he pictured the babys face, the ginger of his hair, the little nose, the fingers and toes and even the few freckles he had. With that, he let himself go. He watched as the ledge got further away. He closed his eyes as he fell.
Then he woke up, Tommy was cradling him, and he was holding their baby. "Please tell me this is real Tommy..." He muttered. "It's real Adam. I promise it is." Tommy said, moving the hair from Adams eyes. Adam looked at the baby, he was laughing and that made Adam smile. "Does this mean..." Adam started, "Yes", Tommy said, "You're dead to, but that's ok. We're a family." Adam rested in Tommys arms, holding their baby close to his heart. "What happens to the baby?" Adam asked. "He didn't survive long after you had him, malpractice." This saddened Adam that their baby didn't get to have a full life, but in a weird way made him happy, happy they were all together and it was real.
"You went insane after I died, then you started getting really sick and when they checked you out they found you had a baby in you. They couldn't figure it out but they already knew that they were going to give him away." Tommy explained. "Well, this is heaven...as long as we're a family...I'll be happy" Adam whispered.