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Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or place names, they are Glee's!
Since ordering their meals, not a word had been spoken between the two girls, they just sat in silence with an occasional glance from Santana or a nudge of a foot from Brittany who would smile to herself whenever she made contact.
The Latina had tried to act nonchalant while sitting across from her best friend, but as the minutes ticked by she was increasingly becoming nervous. She was out in public with the girl she was in love with, in the restaurant where all the couples go.
She had only casually asked Brittany out to Breadstix for a meal but she and the blonde both knew this was much more than a simple get together. They could have ordered in, Breadstix delivers.
But Santana secretly wanted to test to see if she was ready to become more public with Brittany (and of course Brittany knew this too). When she had asked the blonde if she wanted to go to Breadstix in the cheerio's locker room in an offhand manner, Brittany jumped up and down with excitement and kissed her cheek before linking pinkies, "awesome San" Brittany had whispered brimming with pride, sending a shiver down the Latina's spine.
As great as this all was, sitting just two feet away from Brittany having their first real meal out alone together, there was however an issue in Santana's mine, Were they officially girlfriends? Could Santana call Brittany hers, and if one day she could bring herself to do it, change her facebook relationship status to "in a relationship with Brittany S. Pierce"? and tell the world of her love?. This is what Santana thought about as she twirled her fork around between her fingers. Fingers that itched to reach out and touch Brittany.
I have to say something Santana thought otherwise this whole thing will be pointless. She looked up from her half eaten food, across to Brittany who was happily eating a shrimp.
"Britt" she said with an edge to her voice "I wanna talk about...you know that thing we never talk about?" she was afraid to say anything other than that for fear she might break down and she so did not want that to happen in the middle of a crowded room.
"what that sour patch kids are just gummy bears turned to drugs?" Brittany said, but Santana could see she was joking by the flicker in her eyes, she was trying to lighten the mood. Brittany could sense the tension rolling off Santana in waves and instead of physically comforting her like she so desperately wanted to do, she used humour. She didn't want to rush her best friend when she was doing so well.
"are we dating?...or what?" this was the first time Santana had voiced the fact that the two were in a possible real relationship. And saying it felt strangely good for the Latina, like releasing a bird from it's cage.
"wait isn't this a date?" the blonde asked incredulously, "aren't you paying? coz I ordered shrimp!" The blonde did not bat an eyelid to the brunette's question, she was actually pleased that Santana had opened up to her.
Santana could not help but smile, despite the seriousness of the tone of the conversation that she had started, Brittany could always make light of any situation.
This was actually the first time Santana Lopez had paid for a meal in the restaurant, she would usually dine and dash but this time she wanted to pay, it felt... more real? more gallant?, more romantic? she couldn't put her finger on it exactly put paying for the meal seemed right to the brunette.
"wasn't last week when we were taking a bath together, wasn't that a date?" Brittany interrupted her thoughts, Santana looked away blushing, remembering that day when Brittany decided to run the pair a bath when the brunette came over to stay the night. As the blonde massaged the tight knots in her back while the water steamed, Santana had not felt that special since the time Brittany told her she loved her.
There was nothing needy or sexual about it, well that was until they got out of the tub and to Brittany's bed. Just thinking about how Santana's heart swelled while Brittany held her, and to think Brittany, the girl she loved regarded that as a date, not just one of their many sexual encounters brought tears to her eyes.
"are you crying?" Brittany quickly asked her arm twitching, the need to hold her girlfriend intensifying, she hated to see Santana upset, even though she loved the way Santana let her guard down when she was with her.
"It's just that I'm really happy" Santana said softly.
"well I told you last year if I'm single and you're single, that we'd mingle" as if it was the most simplest thing in the world. Brittany had already considered Santana as her girlfriend since the beginning of summer, she just did not feel the need to voice it, she took it as a given. Santana could feel her breath hitch slightly and her pulse quicken.
They then talked of Rory "the leprechaun" and Brittany then asked, "don't you have any wishes that you would really wanna come true?" "Yeah I do" she replied I want to be able to lean over the table and kiss you like all the other couples here do, I want to be able to walk down the corridors of school with your hand in mine and not to care what anyone would think. She shook herself.
Instead of saying the thoughts that screamed in her mind, she instead told Brittany that she wanted to join Shelby's new show choir and how she would not go without her. Brittany asked if she could have time to think about it and of course Santana agreed, how could she say no to the girl who she loves? With all these emotions brimming inside of Santana, she wanted to show Brittany how much she cared for her.
An idea quickly came to her and she smiled "in the meantime I do have one more wish..."
Brittany's eyes shone mischievously, "mmmh?"
"I want you to hold my hand", the words spilled out of Santana's mouth. She had gotten a burst of courage from discussing her thoughts with the girl in front of her and did not want it to go to waste.
Brittany grinned wide and took Santana's hand lightly in her own, trying to relay to her girlfriend there was no pressure, no worry, all the while trying to show her devotion to the girl.
Santana exhaled sharply from sheer happiness. She looked at her hand in Brittany's and smiled at the normality of it all. This is how it should be she mused. However when she glanced to her side she could see a man and woman looking at them oddly with smiles on their faces, the sight made Santana feel uneasy. What were they thinking? Were they judging her? Suddenly she felt as if the background noise of the restaurant were people whispering and murmuring about her.
She thought she could handle it, finally after the whole year of hurt and pain, caused by her fear of what people would say behind her back if they knew about her sexuality. But she just couldn't and she felt so ashamed.
But no matter what she did not want to let go of Brittany, the girl had been so supportive of her giving her time to grow in confidence. She couldn't let her love down.
Santana picked up a napkin as childish as it looked and put it over their enclosed hands, of course it did not look half obvious to anyone who were watching, but she felt a little more protected and Brittany being the sweet person she was simply tidied up the napkin around their hands all the while making circles on Santana's skin with her thumb. They spent the rest of the meal in comfortable silence, just looking into each other's eyes, having a unspoken conversation relaying messages of love and apology from Santana and love and pride from Brittany.
When Santana had paid the bill and they were in the safety of Santana's car, she pulled Brittany into a lingering kiss whispering "I'm sorry". "Don't be silly San" Brittany murmured holding her tight, "I'm so proud of you, but can we do it again sometime?" "Sure" Santana chuckled leaning in for another kiss.