The Smirking Idiot

Disclaimer: I don't own life with Derek even though it'd be pretty cool
It was Monday morning, and the children were at the kitchen table having breakfast. Casey munched her cornflakes wearily, ignoring the loud ramblings of her three younger siblings. Derek just slobbered down his food like an animal.

"Could you quiet down" she snapped. He looked up at her, a mouthful of eggs hanging out his mouth.

"Excuse me?" he spluttered out froths of the yellow meat. She flinched with disgust. "STOP IT DEREK!"

"Make me."

Her eyes narrowed, "I said… stop it."

The three children looked from Derek to Casey nervously, knowing that trouble was ensuing again. Whenever they were around the two, there was something particularly tense in the air.

"I said… MAKE ME!" he flung a handful of eggs in her face and she gaped incredulously. "DEREK!" her scream vibrated throughout the house and the children ran for cover while the two parents stormed downstairs.

"What's going on!" George sighed, followed by Nora, his dutiful wife.

They both burst out into frenetic explanation, silenced only by a firm grab of both collars. He shook them, as if wanting to rattle their heads together. "Now stop it you guys, you know how much we hate it that you fight."

"Let go of me!" Casey screamed dramatically, Derek just rolled his eyes carelessly.

"You two,…"

"He started it!" she pointed at Derek who only pulled a face. The phone suddenly shrilled and he jumped for it. Casey shot him death glares as she picked egg off her nose.

"Oh Casey…." Her mother sighed, spitting on a napkin and about to wipe it away but she was slapped off, "mother!" she cried, "That's your SPIT!"

"SAM! Hey man!" Derek's voice bellowed from the living room, overpowering Nora's hurt expression. Casey's eyes snapped up when he had put down the phone and reentered the kitchen, "was that Sam?"

"No."

"you're such a JERK!"

"I'm not a jerk, you dumb flirt." He snapped. George slammed a fist on the table, causing the cutlery and bowls to clatter, "Ok that's ENOUGH. You two are getting nastier by the minute! Either you start getting along or there are going to be dire consequences." He narrowed his eyes to stress the seriousness of his words, "DIRE consequences."

Both kids looked at each other nervously and then away in hatred. Nora was intrigued, "How do you propose they do that?"

"Well… I think the best thing right now is to clean out the garage together, until I set a list of character building activities"

"and by activities YOU MEAN PUNISHMENT!" cried Casey, "I don't even understand what I did!"

"Sam is coming over!" Derek whined.

"I don't' care! I'm sick of this, your mom is sick of this-"

"She's not my mom" stated Derek with an involuntary sneer. They all looked to him and he suddenly felt immensely sorry, "yea.. um.. I didn't mean it that way… but technically she's not my mo-"

George raised a hand, "enough. Garage.. now."

The two teens miserably slumped toward the garage, hissing threats as their parents looked sadly at each other. Edwin, Marti, Lizzi slowly crept out of hiding.

After a whole afternoon of grueling chores, Casey finally felt good to lie on her bed and relax with a book. She was recovering from the humiliation of having Sam over to watch Derek constantly tease and provoke her till she burst with rage. It was nice to finally relax and breathe easy.

But the stomping of three kids running up and down the hallways excitedly was interrupting her train of thought. With a loud groan she struggled to read through the paragraph, "and love was the one thing worth enduring-". Suddenly music blasted through her, and her entire room began to tremble. "DEREK!", she screamed but it was only turned up louder.

Twitching slightly, she muttered an involuntary prayer on her sanity and made a loud rap on Derek's door. Moments passed and the music continued, so she just stormed in to find Derek thrashing on his bed in his boxers, with an air guitar. "Derek." He blinked in surprise, and Casey, with immense composure, clicked off the stereo. 'HEY!" he protested, leaping off the bed and pushing her slightly. "move out the way, we're turning it back on!"

"NO we're not!" she pushed him back, in which he pushed harder, so Casey screamed and grabbed him by the hair, dragged him around the room "OW CASEY QUIT IT!" he pleaded, "I need this hair, it's what the ladies love."

"I don't understand how any lady could ever love YOU!" she shrieked, tightening her hold. It certainly was a ridiculous sight, Derek being dragged around in his underwear by a hysterical Casey. Edwin peered through the doorway and took a picture with his camera phone.

"QUIT IT!" Derek yelled, releasing himself from Casey's hold and slamming the door shut on his little brother. Breathing heavily and massaging his damaged hair, he glared at Casey darkly.

She folded her arms "You had it coming."

That was the last straw. Derek let out a loud war cry and tackled Casey onto the bed. "You're so STUPID!" he yelled, pinning her arms down "that was my HAIR! Now I'm shedding! Do you understand what that means!"

"GET OFF ME DEREK!" she shrieked, but all struggles were in vain for he was much bigger and stronger. Even so, she squirmed frenetically as Derek began hacking up spit to deplore on Casey but then he realized how weird it was, feeling her body under his, and suddenly he found himself holding on rather than keeping her down.

Casey also suddenly felt him pressing down on her, and she stopped moving and looked at him with question.

There was a loud rap on the door and Derek quickly leapt off her. George stormed in with a red huffing face, ready to kill. "I said... NO FIGHTING!"

The next day at school was a miserable one. Casey struggled to open her locker as Maggie blabbered on about the cute guy in home room, pausing momentarily to giggle a shy greeting to Derek as he walked pass.. "Hi." He drawled without even a glance.

But Emily wasn't fazed, "Oh my god, he's so cute. You're sooo lucky Casey."

Casey twitched again, wanting to punch a hole in the locker and stuff Maggie in it. She stormed straight pass homeroom and went straight to the counselor's office, "I HATE DEREK."

Paul blinked in shock, and then plastered on a nervous smile. "Ah casey… come sit.. please." She was half shaking as she took a seat. "Tell me Casey… what did he do?"

"He's ruining my life, that's all."

"How so?"

"Its like… he does things DELIBERATELY to upset me! Always teasing me till I just have to get mad." She threw her hands up in the air, "and then I get in trouble."

"I understand it can be very tough for you." Paul said kindly, "but perhaps, Derek just wants your attention,"

"What!" she cried, "Oh no you don't! Don't make him the VICTIM! Why would he want MY attention?"

"Well, perhaps he doesn't know how else to bond with his new big sister."

Casey thought about this, and then narrowed her eyes, "that's not true. He hates me. He just wants to win all the time. He's a brat."

"It sounds like you just need to relax and have some fun." Paul smiled, "you know, there's the homecoming dance coming up. You should go."

She slumped back in her chair, "no way, who would wanna go with me?"

"Oh come now, what about that boy you like. Scott was it?"

"Sam!" she blushed, mortified that he even knew that. "And I doubt he even likes me because of Derek! All he does is embarrass me! Its like, he gets off on it or something!"

Paul raised a brow at Casey's tendency to be a drama queen. "Casey, just relax. You need to breath."

She wiped the sweat off her brow tenderly. "You know what? You're right! I just need to go to the dance and have fun." She jumped out of her chair, recharged with determination, "thanks Paul!"

"Atta girl!" he grinned, grateful that she had left the room.

Ok. Thats first chapter. How do you like it? don't give me shit about their relationship because I'll just repeat time and time again that Casey and Derek are not actually BLOOD related. I would much prefer some constructive criticism than mindless flames, or even suggestions on where the story should go. Review button is right there. Click it and type in something valuable otherwise this Derek and Casey community is going to go nowhere.