A/N: I think this song perfectly describes how Kyo feels about the one he loves. In this case the one he loves is Tohru.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. The song is Everything by Lifehouse. Oh! and also there are a few lines in here I don't own. You'll recognize them when you see them :)
Read and enjoy. And please review! We writers have to get better somehow!
"Everything"
Kyo watched as the sun began its rise far off in the distance. Its orange rays changing the sky and land it touched. Darkened sky lightened by purples and pinks. Trees darkened even more as the sun rose behind them. Early morning birds chirped noisily.
How he wished he could be like the sun.
People loved the sun. They didn't wish for its death. They wouldn't shun the sun away. Even when it was too hot, they only asked for clouds or rain for a while until they cooled off and then they would wish it back again.
Then again, he and the sun were kind of alike. The sun lit everything in a fiery inferno. Much like his own temper did. The sun stood high in the sky and demanded attention. So did he. Nowhere near as tall as the sun, but tall enough to where people had to take notice, if only in annoyance to get him to shut up. But at least they noticed for a change.
They were both orange, too.
He sighed. He would never be accepted and he knew it. But that wouldn't keep him from trying. Still, he wished he could be.
She accepts you.
Tohru…
The ladder creaked as someone made their way up. He already knew who it would be. She always came. She always cared.
"Oh! Kyo-kun! I thought you would be up here!"
Find me here,
He glanced her way to see her crawl over next to him. She sat next to him. Not close enough to touch, but closer than anyone ever came to him without a closed fist. Except for Shishou that is.
"What do you want?" He winced inwardly. He didn't mean for his voice to sound so harsh. Sometimes he just couldn't help himself. It was his minds immediate reaction to kindness. Shove it away before it can hurt you.
And speak to me.
Tohru didn't seem fazed. She was probably used to it by now.
"I came up to tell you that breakfast is ready." She watched the sun as she spoke. He loved the way the sun played with her face. It made it look warmer, kinder if that was possible. Her hair blew softly in the morning breeze.
He wondered if it was as soft as it looked.
I want to feel you,
"You coulda just said that from down there. You didn't have to climb all the way up here, you know."
She turned her deep brown eyes to him. Those eyes could drown a person.
"I wanted to see the sunrise with you." A light pink stained her cheeks as she spoke.
He could feel his own face heat up. "Whatever."
She smiled at him. His heart clenched at that. She was beautiful. So beautiful...
Monster…
His eyes darkened and he wrenched his gaze from her. He was a monster, he shouldn't be thinking this way. Besides, she deserved so much better.
I need to hear you.
"Kyo-kun…?" He glanced back towards her. She was looking at him worriedly. She had seen the change in him. Well, it had been pretty obvious.
"Come on." He grabbed her arm to help her up and quickly dropped it again. He made his way towards the ladder, her clumsy footsteps trailed behind him.
You are the light,
Kyo leaned against the doorframe. He watched the sky warily. The weather channel said it was supposed to rain today. No clouds were in sight yet. He hoped it stayed that way. Then again, with his luck it would most likely start storming on their way to school.
Yuki stood a ways from him. He stared distantly off to the side, lost in his thoughts and trying to ignore the cat. Kyo sometimes wondered what the rat thought about.
Not very often though.
Tohru came bounding down the stairs.
"Okay, I'm ready. Sorry for making you wait!"
"Don't worry 'bout it." Kyo said at the same time Yuki said, "It's never a problem, Miss Honda."
The two enemies glared at one another but were interrupted by Tohru holding their hands and pulling them out of the house.
"We wouldn't want to be late for school." She smiled again. He followed silently beside her; the feel of her hand in his was wonderful.
That's leading me,
He shouldn't be doing this. He shouldn't hold her hand and act like he deserved it. But oh how he wanted keep her hand in his forever. But…
He shouldn't.
He slipped his hand out of her grasp and stretched them far above his head. Tohru looked at him then. She looked…sad. Before, of course, she smiled.
She looked back to the road and continued on with her morning chatter.
She still held Yuki's hand in hers. Kyo felt something boil inside him at the sight. He fell back a little, feeling dejected. Even though it was his fault in the first place.
It's not my fault! It's not my fault!
To the place,
He clenched his fists as the familiar mantra played in his head. Always denying he was at fault.
He usually was. Usually, but not that time…
I'm not afraid. I love you Kyo, my son…
He tore his thoughts away from those memories. It wouldn't do to dwell on them now. Tohru would worry.
He looked back to her. His breath caught in his throat. The sun illuminated her. It looked like she was surrounded by a bright light.
Like an angel…
Where I find peace again.
Tohru stopped with him at his locker. The rat had already gone to class. She was talking about what to make for dinner.
"What would you like for dinner, Kyo-kun?"
"Fish." He answered automatically. He was such a cat.
"Then fish it is!" She declared and spun around to go to class. He watched her leave. He sighed. He hated being away from her. He scowled at himself. He wasn't some needy kitten! He could deal without her. Even as he thought that, his eyes trailed back to her.
Before she entered the classroom she looked back at him. She said one word and left with a wave. He clearly heard when she tripped and stumbled into a desk, followed by a quick "I'm so sorry!"
Even though it wasn't very loud, Kyo had heard that one word.
Salmon.
His favorite fish.
A small smile played at his scowl. She really was a clumsy girl.
You are the strength,
"You damn Rat!" Kyo screamed and punched at the rat's head. Yuki easily dodged and brought his knee into the cat's stomach. Kyo dropped to his knees but refused to cry out in pain. They had started fighting the moment they came home.
"You idiot." Yuki sneered down at me. "You know you can't win. Why do you even try?" Something in the rat's eyes made Kyo pause. It almost looked like the rat was asking for him to stop. To stop all the fighting. Kyo nails dog into his palm. He couldn't stop. That would mean giving up and going to that…cage. He would lose his freedom.
He would lose Tohru's smile.
He couldn't do that. He wouldn't do that.
"Fuck you, rat!"
He swung another fist just as Tohru entered the room. That was all the distraction Kyo needed and his fist connected with the rat's face.
That keeps me walking.
Their fight was violent. Blood covered both of them. It was just like the old days. The days before Tohru came.
Tohru…
Kyo glanced back at her to see her crying. That gave him pause. She'd never seen them fight like this before.
"Tohru…?"
She looked up at him. Her eyes were sad and frightened.
That chilled him to the core. She was afraid he would not stop. She was afraid of what he could do. Was she afraid of him, too?
He really was a monster.
"Miss Honda, are you alright?" Yuki had stopped fighting when the cat had. He was now kneeling beside Tohru. A slender hand rested on her shoulder.
"Are…are you guys done f-fighting now?"
"Yes, Miss Honda. We are. I'm sorry if it frightened you. I know you haven't seen us fight like that before, but don't pay any mind to it."
"B-but your family! You s-shouldn't fight like that!" Though shaky, Tohru's voice was filled with determination. "You should get along." She whispered.
"Miss Honda, I know you won't be happy to hear this but," and he looked at Kyo, "that cat is not and will never be considered part of my family."
Kyo froze. The words…sounded so much like Akito. To hear them come from the rat's mouth, even if they were enemies, was just…just what? Why should he care what the rat thought? Still those words had hurt him deeply. They only confirmed what he and pretty much everyone else believed.
He was not one of them. And he never would be.
Yuki must have seen the hurt in his eyes because something in the rat's violet orbs shifted. It could have been regret, or at least guilt.
Kyo took a step back. Pity was worse than hate. And he would not be pitied!
Tohru opened her mouth to respond but Kyo took off before she could say anything.
You are the hope,
She found him on the roof. One arm draped over his head to cover his eyes. The other's hand resting on his stomach. One knee was bent with the foot resting on the shingles. His fiery orange hair never failed to take her breath away.
"Kyo-kun? Are you awake?"
His arm moved and a single crimson eye took her in. Her eyes were slightly red from crying but otherwise she seemed okay. No longer shaken up.
"Yeah."
She sat down next to him like she had done that morning in the sunrise.
"I-"They both started, then blushed.
"You first." Kyo grumbled awkwardly.
She smiled. "I'm sorry I over-reacted like that." She looked down at her hands. "I shouldn't have acted that way. I'm so sorry." She bowed deeply to me.
That keeps me trusting.
"Hey! Cut that out!" I yelled. I forced my voice to lower. "You got nothing to apologize for."
"But-"
He cut her off with a glare. She giggled. His glare turned to a look of confusion.
What the hell?
She just saw them fight an almost death match and now she's giggling? A smile stretched across his face. She was definitely a weird one.
You are the light,
"So...I…um." Kyo stumbled over his words. Tohru smiled at him. He wore his customary scowl again, he knew he was blushing.
"I-I'm sorry." He grumbled quietly. Too quietly for her to hear.
"I'm sorry, Kyo, could you speak up?"
"I said I'm sorry!" he shouted.
She jumped a little at his outburst. "Sorry." He repeated. "Didn't mean to scare you. I'm just not good at this whole apologizing thing."
"It's okay. You don't need to apologize either." She patted his raised knee. His blush deepened. He probably looked like a fricking tomato.
To my soul.
He didn't know how long they sat there. The sky was starting to darken. Kyo's stomach rumbled loudly.
"Oh my goodness! The fish!" Tohru looked panicked. She stood up a little too quickly and stumbled. Kyo caught her just in time. The only problem was that instead of falling off the roof, she was now falling into him. And he didn't have time to dodge.
Oh shit.
He felt her body press beautifully against his. For a brief millisecond he could feel like he was hugging her. A normal boy hugging a girl. A poof and a cloud of orange smoke signaled his change.
"Oh, Kyo-kun, I'm so sorry!" Tohru panicked. She was torn between holding him and wanting to run for the fish that was most likely burning in the stove.
"Don't worry 'bout it. And quit apologizing." He jumped down from her hold and landed gracefully on his feet. He wasn't about to be carried to the kitchen like some house cat. Shigure would have a laughing fit. He turned back to a fluttering Tohru. He sighed.
"I'm fine. Go check on the fish before you burn the house down."
She apologized again before walking quickly towards the ladder and climbing down. They really needed to stop apologizing. They were starting to sound like that psycho monkey.
Kyo grabbed his clothes in his mouth and made his way towards his bedroom window.
It wouldn't do if someone saw him naked on the roof.
You are my purpose,
The fish was burnt. But no one really minded. It was awkward between him and the rat. Shigure and Tohru did most of the talking.
After dinner everyone settled in the living room. It was sort of a nightly thing they did. Like they were family. Tohru was doing homework with Yuki's help. Shigure was reading a book, probably one of those perverted stories he liked so much. Kyo laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling.
"Um..Kyo?"
He shifted his gaze to Tohru.
"What?" Why is it that no matter how he tried his voice always sounded harsh?
"Could you help us with this problem? We don't understand it." Kyo stared at her dumbfound. As mean as it sounded, he wasn't surprised that Tohru didn't know something. What surprised him was Yuki, the rat, didn't know something.
Of course he wouldn't let a moment like this pass by.
"Ha! So there's something even that smartass doesn't know!"
Yuki gave him a cold stare. "It's not my homework, cat. If you don't want to help Miss Honda then just say so."
Damn rat.
He slowly sank down next to Tohru.
"It's this question." She pointed it out in the book.
Can cats see in color?
Oh.
You're everything.
"Thank you so much for your help Kyo-kun!"
"Yeah. Whatever."
"I never knew cats saw some colors. I thought it was all black and white!" He listened as she retold everything he just explained to her.
His mouth twitched upwards.
How can I stand here with you,
He found her in the back yard doing laundry. She was humming. It was out of tune and pitchy but it was music to his ears.
How could someone be so happy all the time?
And not be moved by you?
He put on his scowl before he approached her.
"Oh! Do you need something Kyo-kun? I was going to make lunch in a little while but if you're hungry I will make something now-"
"I'm not hungry!" he snapped. She laughed.
"Okay then." She went back to humming and laundry.
He stood a little ways away and watched her work. How could someone so clumsy look so graceful?
Would you tell me,
Their silence wasn't uncomfortable. She let him watch and didn't say anything about it being awkward or creepy.
It was nice.
How could it be,
He took the basket of clean sheets from her to carry.
"Thank you."
"Don't mention it." he grumbled.
Any better than this?
The walk back into the house was too short for him.
"Thank you again, Kyo-kun." She smiled.
Her hands brushed his as she took the basket again. He turned red.
He really needed to learn to control that.
You calm the storms,
He could never have expected this. One moment he was talking to Shishou outside. The rain clouds had made him weak. Shishou had ignored his complaints for once. The next thing he knew Shishou had pulled the beads off his wrist.
Tohru had seen it. Tohru had seen him.
And now he was running through the woods.
It's all over now.
She wouldn't be able to stand to be around him now.
And you give me rest.
"…Kyo-kun?"
He swirled around. Tohru stood off to the side of the clearing and she was slowly making her way towards him. She was completely drenched and mud covered her hands, feet, and knees.
Was it wrong for him to think she looked beautiful in that moment?
"Go away!" he shouted. The monster's double voice making even himself flinch.
She didn't listen. "Kyo, please stop running. Please…"
You hold me in your hands,
"Get away from me!" he screamed. This wasn't right! Why was she coming towards him? She should be running the other way.
"Kyo…."
"NO!" she needed to stay away. She would end up just like mother.
Her clammy hand rested on his deformed leg. He panicked. His claws reached out to push her away. Dread filled him as his inhuman claws ripped through the skin of her shoulder.
The scent of her blood stung his nose.
"Kyo, please. Her arms wrapped around his disfigured one.
You won't let me fall.
"Let's go home…back to our house."
"Leave me alone!"
"I'm sorry, I'm such a fool. I don't know what to do. I'm afraid...right now, Kyo, I'm afraid of you...but still...I want us to stay together...I do. Always."
His breathing calmed as he listened. His heart beat painfully. Oh how he dreamed to hear these words.
"I want us to eat our meals together...and study together and worry together. I want to tell you the things that are on my mind...and Kyo...I want to listen to you. And so, I want us to stay together."
You steal my heart,
He looked up. The rain stopped. The sky was clearing.
He closed his eyes as the familiar pain consumed him. His body twisted and popped as it returned to its human form.
"It's okay; you don't have to love everything." His voice was rough from screaming. He looked back to her. Silent tears trailed down her cheeks.
"If you're afraid...if you're afraid it just means you've seen the real me. Not like my mom. She went through all the motions of loving me, but she never tried to see me."
He could still remember the look on his mother's face as she laid there in her own blood. She had looked so happy. So free.
"I wanted us to talk together, and worry together, too. I was fine with her being afraid, even if she didn't love me in that ugly form. I wanted...I wanted us to stay together."
Traitorous tears fell from his crimson eyes.
"I've been a fool...I didn't think that anyone...anyone...would ever say that to me. Not to me."
And you take my breath away.
Slowly he lifts his hand to her face. His thumb trails over her cheeks to wipe away the tears.
"Tohru." All the pain in his life was in that one word. All his dreams, his fears, his hopes. His love.
"Tohru." He quickly pulled her close in a hug.
A poof of smoke and he lay in her lap in his cat form.
More tears followed from both of them as Tohru gently stroked his orange fur.
Would you take me in,
"How is it that you can give me the words I needed to hear the most right now? How is it that somebody like you can be here by my side...crying for me? How...?"
"Oh, Kyo."
Tohru lifts him into her arms. He buries his face into her neck.
She pulls him back and lifts him until they are face to face. She rests her forehead against his.
"Let's go home, Kyo."
Take me deeper now.
She carried him tightly. He didn't mind.
She keeps him close to her face. A beautiful smile lights up her face. Her eyes met his and she pressed a small kiss onto his nose. He was sure she would be able to see the blush beneath his orange fur.
He really did love this clumsy, big-hearted girl.
And how can I stand here with you,
They arrived home hours later. Kyo still in her arms, still in cat form.
They didn't mind.
Shigure and Yuki were on the porch waiting for them. The dog looked relieved. Yuki's face was indescribable.
Tohru's grip tightened. He looked back to her. She smiled and set him on the ground.
And not be moved by you?
Shigure stepped up to him first. The dog yanked the small cat up into his arms.
"Thank God you're alright." Kyo's fur bristled slightly. He wasn't used to this attention from the dog. Hell, he didn't think the dog even liked him. He was, after all, always destroying the house.
"P-put me down!" Shigure giggled gleefully and spun Kyo around in the air before setting him down again.
The rat came up beside them. His hand reached out and Kyo tensed. His eyes widened in realization. In Yuki's hands were his beads.
Would you tell me,
"Take these, stupid cat." But the words did not have the normal bite. They, too, sounded relieved.
"Thanks…damn rat."
Yuki smiled. Kyo tensed again, this time in confusion. The rat had just smile at him, the cat. Was hell freezing over?
The slim fingers of the rat stroked the cat's ear once and deposited the beads in front of him.
Behind him, Tohru smiled.
How could it be,
He was on the roof again. The sun was rising over the horizon. He played with the beads on his wrist. He had caught up with Shishou yesterday to confront him.
He had finally admitted he saw the man as his father. And to his surprise the man thought of him as a son, too.
Tohru was lying next to him. A comfortable silence surrounded them.
"Hey Tohru?"
"Hmm?" she mumbled sleepily. Last night had been tough on her but she had wanted to see the sunrise with him again.
"Tohru, I…" He struggled with his words. He needed to confess. He needed her to know how he felt before graduation. Before everything.
She was looking at him fully now. Her brown eyes encouraging and filled with so much love. Love for him?
"I l-love you, Tohru."
His voice was quiet but he knew she heard him.
A radiant smile graced her lips.
"I love you, too, Kyo." Her voice was just as quiet.
He leaned forward slowly and kissed her gently on the mouth. When he pulled away, both of them were bright red.
He lay back down and held her hand in his.
Yes. He would fight with every breath to break the curse. He wasn't leaving Tohru.
Her hand squeezed his as if she was thinking the same thing.
Any better than this?
Okay, I was planning on doing a multichapter story but this kept playing inside my head so i wrote it first. Next will either be that multichapter story or a Shigure one-shot I've been thinking about.
So...
Like it? Hate it? I wanna know what you think!