It was really early in the morning, still dark and the birds were just waking up and singing. Everyone was sleeping at the prison, everyone but Daryl who suddenly got up from his bed, sweaty and with his heart beating really fast. He was having nightmares again, but it had been a long time since he had this kind of dreams. It was about his mom.
Their old house was burning to ashes and he knew his mama was there, dying. He could hear the fire crackling in his ears and the smell, it was suffocating. Little Daryl was standing there alone, watching it burn when out of nowhere a hand hold his. It was the soft hand of a lady, it was his mom. She was smiling at him and then looking at the house and laughing, almost as she was enjoying the view. The fire was growing more and more with every minute. But this fire was different. It had not color. It was expanding like a virus and turning everything black and white and the little ashes would fly all over the place. One of them came closer to him but before it could touch him a little hand catch it. His mother was no longer there. It was Sophia.
"I'm so fucked up" he thought. That little girl was not only in his thoughts but in his dreams now. He couldn't sleep anymore, and he knew Rick was on watch at that moment so Daryl decided to go and check. The man wasn't himself lately but who could blame him?
"Hi man" Daryl said with a louder voice that he intended. Rick seemed lost in his mind. He didn't turn around but nodded.
"Something wrong?" he asked.
"No, just wanted to check" said Daryl, "couldn't sleep either" he added. Rick looked at him now. He looked so tired, like he had been on watch for three days without rest. And the reality wasn't too far from that.
"What's that about?" But Daryl just couldn't tell him. For some reason he couldn't explain it but Sophia was his ghost. Not Rick's. Daryl would never blame him, it wasn't his fault. He would never blame Carol, he knew he was wrong when he did, he was just mad. He would never blame anyone but himself, because he believed. He had faith for God's sake. He wanted her to be alive, he was just so tired everything ended up wrong. Rick had his own ghost. Rick had a son and a daughter to look after too.
"No idea" Daryl said finally.
"This could work, you know, this prison" Rick changed the subject, he wasn't actually expecting an answer anyway "we'll clean this up".
They both looked at the fences, both submerged in their thoughts, neither of them was thinking about what he has just said. Rick wasn't the only one seeing things. Sophia was there alone, walking on the grass with her bare feet. Daryl was seeing things too.
Daryl blinked five or six times but she was still there so he looked away for a moment.
"Can you see that?" he couldn't fake his voice. He was shoked.
"What?"
He closed his eyes and rubbed them. She's not there, she's not there. He forced himself to believe it till she wasn't. First that non-sense nightmare and now this.
"It's probably nothing" he answered.
"Hey if you wanna go back to your cell it's fine, I got it" Rick said.
Daryl nodded, relieved. He needed to get outta there.
Back in his room he sat on his bed. He just wanted to convince himself that what he had seen wasn't real. It couldn't.
"I know you don't want me here" Daryl heard a little girl's voice coming from the door.
"This can't be happening" he thought. "You're not here" he said out loud, almost shouting. He was going nuts. Sophia disappeared again, in front of his eyes.
"This can't be happening".
It had been so long since he had seen her face. He had never paid too much attention to her but he knew he had to keep an eye on his dad. He was a pig and kids sometimes just don't know these things. He knew.
But Sophia was lucky. She had her mother. Daryl always admired the way Carol would protect her daughter no matter what. He knew she had to support the abuse all his life just like he did. But there she was, standing on her feet, strong. And soft. She was not cold, she was gentle and calm, she deserved better.
"I miss her" she said shyly. "My mom".
Daryl froze. This was actually happening. The hallucinations shit again, great. He didn't know what the hell had crossed his mind but he replied "She misses you too".
At that moment Daryl realized Sophia was black and white too, just as the house. He noticed she blushed; her cheeks were softly pink now.
She stared at him. She had one foot in and one out the cell, with a hand on the door.
"I'm going crazy" Daryl thought.
"How come you're here?" he didn't exactly know if he wanted an answer but he asked anyway.
She came closer and sat on one extreme of the bed. Daryl attempted to go further but the wall was behind him.
"Thank you" said the girl, avoiding his question.
That took Daryl by surprise.
"What?" no matter what Daryl said, every time he spoke up the color started spreading over her.
"For what you did, you never gave up. You looked for me, you took care of my mom."
"Stop. I… I never found you. I failed you".
Sophia looked at her hands. They both were in silence for a moment.
He wasn't looking at her either, he couldn't.
"You didn't kill me" she said suddenly. She was now standing on her feet. "You protected me, you protected us all. And I can't be your ghost anymore, I don't wanna be one".
He didn't know what to say.
"I always liked your vest… I like the wings" she said, hesitant.
"You could be an angel" he said smiling. She smiled too. The seven colors shined bright on the rainbow of her shirt.
She approached herself to the door.
"Then I'll be an angel. I'll take care of you, if you promise to take care of my mom, and Carl and the new baby. Everybody needs you here, you can't just be thinking on what could have been, right?"
He nodded. She was just going away when Daryl called her name.
"What is it?" she was curious.
"Take it. The vest, take it."
He handed the vest to the little girl. Sophia tried it on right the way. It looked big on her of course but you could say she loved it.
"Thanks Daryl!" she said with a big smile and then slowly disappeared.
It was time to have breakfast. Carol was the one in charge of it that morning so she noticed someone wasn't there. Daryl. It wasn't common of him to oversleep.
She went to his cell, he wasn't sleeping he was just sitting there thinking, as always, with that deep and sad look in his eyes. He heard her when she was approaching.
"I was.. Ehrn, I'm coming"
He sounded worry by the tone of his voice.
"Is everything ok?" she asked.
"Yeah, it's just… My vest. I can't find it." He said. "It wasn't a fucking dream" he thought. But it had to.
"Well I had washed some clothes but I haven't touched your vest, I can check if…"
"No, it's ok", he cut her off. "It's fine it's just." he couldn't tell her about the previous night. It was too cruel.
"The vest. After my house burnt down they gave me that vest, the people that helped." Daryl wasn't the kind of person that would tell you about his entire life in one night, and not to anyone. But Carol was the only one that knew a few things the rest didn't. She loved learning about him and the fact that he was opening up to her was really important, so she listened. "I was gonna start all over again, ya know. I was gonna be something else, well. It didn't turn up that way."
"You are something else" Carol said immediately. "You don't need a vest to start all over again, you can do something right now".
"Carol, I…" he said after a while. Everytime Daryl said her name her heart grew three sizes.
"I'm sorry. I should have found her, your little girl". He needed to get that out of his chest. But most important, he wanted her to know.
He saw how her tears starting rolling on her cheeks. She wasn't expecting to talk about her daughter, and she didn't think he had to apologize.
"You don't have to do this" she started.
"I do".
She sat with him and held his hand. They stood there for a long while."You can't just been thinking on what could have been right?" Sophia's words kept ringing in his head. He looked at her. She was no longer crying. And she was beautiful. He loved her. Damn, he even liked himself when he was with her because he didn't have to be anybody else, if that made any sense. No one had made him feel the way she did.
He grabbed her hand, making her look at him. He just stared are her beautiful and piercing blue eyes. Carol smiled and came closer to him, posing her head on his shoulder. "You can do something right now" Daryl took her face in his hands and kissed her, softly. The way he always wanted to kiss her, only her.
There were just the two of them. And with that kiss he knew. He knew she loved him back and that he would never let anything happen to her. There wasn't gonna be another ghost, or another angel.