It was just another inn to the four travelers. Just another half-empty village with withering souls and pathetic cries for help. Another night in two separate rooms, one holding Sanzo and Goku, while the other occupied by Gojyo and Hakkai.
Too bad the latter was having difficulties.
The two men didn't speak when they got into the room. They made themselves comfortable; Gojyo sat in a chair, smoking a cigarette while Hakkai put the shower to use. With that finished, the brunette exited the bathroom dressed for bed. For a brief moment he caught Gojyo's gaze and quickly averted his eyes to the floor or bed while he pulled back the sheets. He grabbed his book from the bedside table and began to read from it while the redhead near him took his last drag of his fag and put it out in the ashtray Hakkai placed beside him on purpose.
Gojyo stood and went into the bathroom to take care of his own business. It was only to change and relieve himself. His eyes were closed when he walked to the opposite side of the bed and pulled back the sheets. When he was comfortable, he felt his body stiffen with the silence that seemed so thick it made him wonder if Hakkai was still breathing. Still sitting up, he clicked his tongue and looked at the other.
"When the hell are you going to talk to me?" he demanded.
Green eyes met scarlet. "What do you mean? We talked earlier, Gojyo." He looked utterly confused.
"You won't talk to me when we're alone together. Not anymore."
Hakkai continued to search his friend's eyes, knowing the reason he wouldn't but trying to figure out why it would upset him so much. He was afraid to be alone with Gojyo sometimes, but with him so close to the subject he tried to brush off, it was becoming a phobia.
"I don't…" Hakkai seemed to have trouble putting it into words, letting his sentence trail off. He was blunt, but such a sensitive subject left him without an explanation.
This made Gojyo want to beat it out of him. "Spit it out, Hakkai."
The green-eyed male remained silent, but gave Gojyo a serious look. When it looked like Gojyo was about to explode, he finally sputtered a quick, "It's difficult to be alone with you."
It made Gojyo's temper fade a little. He was confused now. "Difficult how?" he asked, raising an eyebrow and furrowing the other.
Hakkai closed his book and stared at the back of it closely. "It's just hard. I don't know how to act around you when we're alone anymore. Not since we…"
Gojyo understood then. He knew the price for that night with Hakkai. He knew exactly what he was doing, and he knew why he did it. He cared about Hakkai, and for a short time he wanted to be with the male. But for some reason he felt like it was a lie and had to explain himself. Hakkai took it well and insisted he would be alright, but saying those words made Gojyo absolutely positive that his friend never got over it, and was somehow finding a way to blame himself for why it ended the way it did.
As he thought, Hakkai shifted in his sitting position awkwardly, reflecting how uncomfortable the silence was making him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that. We should go to bed now." He placed the book on the bedside table. "Good night, Gojyo."
"You're just gonna go to bed after saying that to me?" Gojyo's voice was cold, with a hint of hurt only Hakkai recognized. He stopped and stared back at the redhead, eyes slightly widened.
"So I did hurt you. Why would you lie about that?" No answer. "Are you trying to make me feel better by telling me you're fine when you clearly aren't, and it's gotten so hard to handle that you won't even fucking talk to me when we're alone together?" Again, no answer. Gojyo lifted a hand to grab Hakkai.
"Don't touch me." Hakkai said suddenly, his voice different. "I… I want you to touch me so badly that it hurts, but I'm scared that if you do, I'll break."
Every woman Gojyo had ever touched enjoyed their nights with him, and didn't give a second thought when he didn't sleep with them the next night. But with Hakkai, it was like dealing with an overly emotional teenager. Maybe the male did have feelings for him, and hell, Gojyo probably returned those feelings. But it was easy for him to move on because he was used to it. Hakkai, on the other hand, wasn't.
They stared at each other for a long time. Hakkai's expression had anguish written all over him as he bit his lip nearly hard enough to draw blood. Gojyo opened his mouth to speak, and that was when the other male got on his knees and covered the redhead's mouth with his own.
Hands found hair as the tension danced between them like a flame. The kisses were needy, long-awaited, and filled with tension. Gojyo hadn't expected Hakkai to react in such a manner, but the way he was kissed made the emotions he thought he didn't have anymore spring to life. He returned every kiss, letting his fingers curl around Hakkai's neck and the other trail along his back. When the pain in Hakkai's chest subdued a little, he pulled away slowly and stared into scarlet eyes that remained half-lidded.
"Gojyo, I—"
"Don't talk." Gojyo said, and laid the male down on the bed. He knew that if they didn't act on impulse then, they would never go any further. His fingers found the hem of Hakkai's shirt, and he raised it to reveal the familiar flesh and scar he's explored. Hakkai helped him remove the article of clothing, his breathing heavy. When Gojyo kissed the pulse at Hakkai's neck and slid one of his hand's along the other's chest, he realized that Hakkai was shaking, almost like a shiver.
He was scared.
The redhead continued his exploration of Hakkai's body anyway. Hakkai made a low, helpless sound in his throat that meant he was pleading for his friend to continue. Gojyo's tongue ran a short length of the rim of Hakkai's pants, but didn't smile when he heard a frustrated moan. With both hands on either side, Gojyo pulled the pants down to reveal the brunette to him. The pants were quickly thrown to the floor. Gojyo raised Hakkai's knees a little and took his member in his hand.
"Spread your legs a little."
Hakkai did as he was asked without questioning. He needed this, and wanted it with every fiber of his being. When a warm, wet tongue licked at the tip of him, Hakkai whimpered and tightened his grip on the sheets. He had a need so strong it hurt to be teased. Gojyo sensed this and took the length of his friend into his mouth. He wasn't too hasty, but not slow enough to make Hakkai's erection painful.
Hakkai wanted to touch Gojyo, but the twisting emotions and pleasure made him dig his fingers even deeper into the bed. It was his reminder that this wasn't just another lonely dream. The warmth of his climax began rising, making his panting become heavier. His shaking became more violent the closer he got, but he did his best not to let it get too bad. The orgasm caught him unexpected, coursing through his body like a violent storm. It didn't last very long, but it left him breathless. When Hakkai opened his eyes again, he was staring up at Gojyo once more. His hands found the back of Gojyo's head and he pulled his friend's forehead down to rest against his.
"Thank you…" Hakkai choked, feeling like he was going to cry. Gojyo tensed up, but remained where he was. The brunette continued when he felt Gojyo lift his head. "Wait. Please, just lay here with me. I want to stay like this… Just a little longer, Gojyo."
Gojyo and Hakkai slept in an embrace similar to a drowning man clinging to a life raft. They knew this wouldn't come again. This was just one time out of a thousand nights, but it was okay with both of them.
Just for tonight, they could sleep without the pain of unrequited love.
