Over And Over
Hi. So I wanted to get this out before I went back to college but it didn't happen, so I thought I'd upload it as soon as possible (I'm sorry it took so long). I'm also having a little trouble with coming up with semi-decent GrimmIchi fanfics, so if anyone would like to leave a comment/idea in their review, I will consider it and try to write something. To be honest, I don't remember how the idea of this particular fanfiction came to mind (I think I was listening to Three Days Grace's 'Over And Over'), but I'm quite glad that it did. Please like/favourite/follow/review and all that jazz, it's Yaoi so if you don't like it, please don't read and please don't flame. This is also written in a somewhat different way to some of my other works, just to warn you. I don't know when I will be able to get the next GrimmIchi up as I am at college and I'm going to be busy at least up until Christmas, so I apologise in advance if my fanfictions are irregular. I'm always looking for ways to improve my writing, I appreciate all constructive criticisms. Thank you.
Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach, nor do I own its characters. I also don't own the song 'Over And Over (good song by the way). I only own this particular story. Enjoy!
I sat alone in the bedroom that we shared, the backs of my knees rested gently against one of the many sides of the double bed that I had shared with him on many occasions. My mind was in chaos; his words echoed throughout my mind like a vinyl record on constant repeat as I rested my head in the palm of my hands. 'I can't deal with this anymore. All we do now is argue, what more do you want from our relationship? Don't leave me, Ichi'. That was the way our relationship worked. We would talk as if nothing else mattered in the world, but then I would say something, and we would argue. It was a vicious cycle. We talk. We argue. We share the same bed. I didn't want our relationship to be so dysfunctional, and to be honest, I had expected him to cheat on me, or leave me for someone else because of our dysfunctional relationship. He was perfect in my eyes. 6'3 figure, tanned complexion, ripped body, defiant but natural baby blue hair and the best part about him, his piercing cyan eyes that looked at anyone, male and female, so charismatically. And now, after nearly three years, our relationship hadn't changed that much, and for some reason, there was something about me that still drew me to him, like a cat to catnip.
The worst part of our relationship was that some nights, he wouldn't come home at all or he would come home late. Take last night, for example. The tension between the pair of us had lurked around for at least a week or so prior to what happened last night, and I didn't want to remember what I had said that made him so worked up. I had regretted what I said, but my stubbornness hadn't stopped me from apologising to him, and needless to say, it was enough to make him leave the apartment, and it was more than enough to make me feel like I had just won the title of 'Mr Idiot of the Year'. I had only just gotten about an hour's worth of sleep before he returned home. I had looked out of the window, and sighed heavily when his car parked in its usual space on the drive to the apartment. I hadn't had a clue as to what I should say to him whilst I slipped out from underneath the sheets of the double bed that we shared now and then. I heard his feet shuffle out of what I imagined to be a pair of shoes, and a small smile forced itself onto my face when I heard him call out for me. His voice sounded raspy from where I sat on the bed, as if he had been crying the whole night. I knew that he didn't cry. Grimmjow just simply didn't cry. I didn't reply, not because I didn't want to, but because I couldn't. I didn't know what to say to him, but I wanted to at least try and work things out with him. I quickly pushed my body away from the bed and just about slid into a pair of jeans, just as Grimmjow's footsteps sounded like he was coming up the stairs. They sounded rushed, as if it was his life depended on him finding me. I froze for a split second as Grimmjow opened the door to the room with a force that threatened to break the wooden door off of its hinges. My eyes met his', and it was tough to not look away from him.
"There's something that I need to tell you" Grimmjow spoke and walked into the room before he shut the door; his own eyes were unable to look away from mine as he skilfully moved into the semi-messy room. I didn't say anything at first. I didn't know what to say, more importantly, I didn't know what to say in order to make him feel any better. "I've been thinking. Maybe we should take a break?" Grimmjow slowly suggested and took a precautious step towards me. I hadn't expected him, of all people, to want to call our relationship off. The way he had just spoken to me was enough to shake me up. It was enough to give me a reality check. We were dysfunctional. We could work, but most times, we were like broken clocks: unable to work.
"What? Why?" I forced myself to respond to him. I looked away for a split moment. All we did nowadays was argue, and it was getting old. I didn't want the constant arguments anymore.
"Because all we do is argue. It's not much of a relationship anymore" Grimmjow answered. I knew that he was right. I looked down into my hands; a single band adorned one of my fingers. It wasn't an engagement ring; it was a promise ring. Grimmjow had given it to me when it was our first year anniversary. We hadn't done a lot that day. The pair of us were more of the 'stay in and watch a movie people' genre than the 'party people' genre; it was who we were. I remember vividly the film we watched. Titantic. I hadn't been sold on the fact that Grimmjow had 'just wanted a chance in pace' when it came to the film, but I was glad that he had picked it. It had been heavy on the romance, not to mention corny with a capital C. We had both laughed hysterically at that fact alone. After that, Grimmjow had presented the ring to me. Things back then were a lot simpler than what they were now.
"Is that what you want?" I questioned and moved away from Grimmjow. I had told myself time and time again that this day was closing in on the pair of us, but for some reason, I hadn't listened to myself. I wished that I had done. I turned my back towards him; I refused to admit that I was hurt by the harsh but fair reality of it. We're dysfunctional. We have been for ages now. Maybe it's time to close the curtain on this joke of a show? Do I want that? Should I want that? I know that I care for him, but do I...love him enough to let him go? I thought to myself. I felt my eyes sting profusely, as if I had gotten soap or something into them. They felt sore, unimaginably sore, and I was sure that they were as equally red as they were raw. Despite that, I rubbed them with the back of my hand discretely; I didn't want to let Grimmjow know that his words had affected me. I didn't want to say goodbye to him, not just yet.
"I think it'll be best for the both of us" Grimmjow answered. No indication of care was in his voice, or in his words that he had spoken for that matter.
"For you or for me?" I quickly snapped and turned to look at him. I was hurt. "Do you think that by ending it, we'll be able to start afresh? By saying that you want to 'take a break', it means that you want to end our relationship, doesn't it? What is that you're so scared of, Grimmjow? Are you scared that we can't go back to the way we were? Is that it? Please tell me I'm wrong" I added. I expected Grimmjow to argue back, but by the way his eyes looked at me, they told me that he had nothing left. Nothing more to fight for. That hurt more than the words he had spoken. It made me livid. "Oh? See if I care. Go on. I don't even know why I'm here. It's clear that you don't want to be with me anymore" I muttered loudly to myself and walked over to the bed.
"If that's the case, why did you stay with me for as long as you did?" Grimmjow retorted all of a sudden. It wasn't hard to mistake how annoyed he was, and all of the previous tension that had surrounded the pair of us, had only heightened.
"I stayed because I love you, you jerk!" I snapped back and glared at him. All my pent-up frustration left every pore of my body when I noticed that Grimmjow was shocked by what I said. His face looked softer just then, and it had made me feel guilty, in the past. Now, of all times, it only irritated me more. "What?" I hissed and tried once again to glare at him. I must have resembled a cat or something as it tried to stand its ground against a dog, but it seemed to make Grimmjow laugh, even if it was just a little.
"You. I mean, we've been arguing for so long now, that I've forgotten something important. The way you looked at me just then reminded me of why I wanted to be with you the first day I met you" Grimmjow smiled. How long has it been since I last saw him smile like that? A month? Two months? How long has it been? It's been long. Far too long, I thought quietly to myself. I backed away slowly as Grimmjow came closer to me. I was mesmerised by the look in his eyes just then, so much so that I didn't realise that my knees had hit the edge of the double bed. I felt my body fall slowly, as if time had slowed itself down at that moment, and instinctively, I stretched my arms out, hoping to grab a hold of something. I wanted to smile when I felt Grimmjow's hand come into contact with mine. However, it didn't stop me from falling unceremoniously into the bed below. My back left the bed for only a second, as the bed itself had rejected my being, only to then accept me into its warm embrace. I felt my cheeks burn a little as Grimmjow hovered above me, and even more so when he planted a kiss on my lips; they were soft and warm. I couldn't get over the fact that he tasted a little bit like Alcohol and fruit-flavoured gum. It was enough to drive me crazy. He drove me crazy, but that was the way I liked it. I had missed the way he drove me crazy. I was rendered speechless when Grimmjow's lips left my own. "What's that look for?" he slowly asked and looked into my eyes.
"This. I've missed this. I've missed us, Grimmjow" I slowly smiled. How long had it been since I last smiled like this? It's been far too long, that's for sure, I thought to myself. "Listen, I want to apologise. I didn't mean what I..." I began. I was stopped when Grimmjow's lips found mine again. Unlike the kiss we had shared, this one was more passionate and needed. It was like we both needed it to sustain our lives. It was something that I had forgotten; the feeling of being wanted by Grimmjow was one that I had forgotten about recently. It made me unbelievably happy. I felt Grimmjow press into my body more as the kiss intensified, and I hummed into the kiss as Grimmjow's tongue slipped past my slightly parted lips and danced to a long-forgotten beat. The more Grimmjow pressed his weight into my body gently, the more it drove me crazy. It had been so long since we had been like this, so in synch with one another. It was something that I had wished from the bottom of my heart, and I was over the moon to know that my wish had come true. From my position on the bed, I managed to wrap my arms around Grimmjow's neck and pulled him closer to me. His hands slowly wandered from where they had caged me from our fall, over to my chest. The feel of his large, warm hands against my cold, exposed chest sent shivers down my spine, and I felt my breath hitch a little as his fingers slowly ran up my body. My breath became even more hitched when his fingers brushed over my nipples. I tried to glare at Grimmjow, but all I saw was him smirk as soon as his lips left mine.
"Same here" Grimmjow smiled and pressed his forehead against my own for a brief moment. I then felt his body move away from mine, only to then feel his lips on my neck shortly afterwards. It was always sinful when Grimmjow kissed me along my neck, and as he alternated between nipping, kissing and licking at the sensitive skin, it reminded me of the times when we had been in synch. Recently, we hadn't been in synch for a long time. It had been so long since he lasted tested my patience right before sex and by doing little things like kiss me the way he did; it was such a turn-on for me. I couldn't hold back a moan that had escaped past my lips as Grimmjow's teeth gently nipped at the juncture between my neck and shoulder blade. He managed to draw out a slightly longer, not to mention an embarrassingly needy moan as his fingers continued to flick over my nipples. I heard Grimmjow smirk against my neck, and I felt the blood rush to two places in particular; my cheeks and my groin. I got lost in the pleasure and I felt my own body let go of its inhibitions. It wasn't long for me to feel so aroused, so much so that I had arched my back off of the bed, ran my hands down to the hem of his dark blue dress shirt and began to grind my hips into his'. "Oh? Is someone desperate?" Grimmjow asked in a sultry voice.
It had definitely been too long since the last time I heard him speak like that. The blood that had risen to my cheeks plagued them with a lighter shade than vermillion red, and from the increase in pleasure that coursed and spiked throughout my body; I had been at a loss for words. All I could do was turn my head and look at the wall that hid behind the wrought headboard. I heard Grimmjow smirk, but I refused to answer his question. Instead, I let out a breathy gasp that quickly turned into a moan as Grimmjow's tongue slipped out of his mouth and begin to lick over one of my nipples. With that small action alone, it was enough to make the tint of blush on my cheeks grow in size, so that it stretched over the bridge of my nose and consumed the vast majority of my cheeks. I was positive that because of what Grimmjow did just then, the colour of the blush on my cheeks had also become more vivid. Moan after shameless moan filled the room and intermixed with the increased sound of our harsh breathing, as Grimmjow continued to torment me in the most sinful, pleasurable way possible. In the end, all I could do was nod as I bucked my hips into his'. I had hoped that he got the message. It didn't take him long at all to slip me out of my jeans and boxers, followed by his own jeans, boxers and dress shirt. I smirked as he discarded every article of clothing; the floor seemed to consume the items hungrily, the one thing that remained on my body was the promise ring that he had given me.
"Like what you see?" Grimmjow asked. The way he spoke just then was enough to make me cum right there and then. I nodded slowly, and tried my best to fight the growing blush on my cheeks. Despite it not being my first time, it had been a while since both Grimmjow and I had had sex. I shifted further up the bed and I couldn't help but look at him in pure, animalistic lust; I needed him, and soon. I watched as Grimmjow came closer to me oh-so sexily; his eyes were half-lidded in lust and want, and I unconsciously licked my lips at the way his body almost swayed as he crawled in one of the most undeniable sexiest ways that I had ever seen in my life. When his lips captured mine in a rough, domineering kiss, I took in his scent, and given the fact that his lips had tasted of bitter Alcohol, his body didn't smell like it. Instead, he smelt more along the lines of men's cologne and fruit-scented shampoo. His lips left mine and his breath intoxicated my ears. "Tell me what to do. What do you want me to do, my little Berry?" I groaned inwardly at the nickname, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from him. In that instant, I arched my upper torso off of the bed by my elbows and smirked in the way that I knew that he loved.
"Suck me" I whispered hotly into his ear before I pulled away. I saw Grimmjow smirk once and move slowly away from me. I felt his tongue dart past his lips, and I shuddered when I felt his tongue run along the underside of my length. It was excruciatingly slow at first, almost too slow, but the feeling of having Grimmjow be this intimate with me had definitely been a long-forgotten one. I had been abruptly brought out of my thoughts when Grimmjow's skilled mouth took me inch by agonising inch. My breath hitched before a quiet, breathy gasp escaped past my lips. I needed more of him; I needed him to pleasure me, to torment me, to drive me crazy. I needed him, despite all of the previous arguments that we had had in the past. The pure, raw lust that omitted through Grimmjow's body was present as he continued to suck me. All I could do was moan and within the next minute or two, I felt my body shudder. Grimmjow's mouth slowly left my appendage, and from the corner of my eye, I saw a small teardrop-like shape of semen slip past his lips. The way he looked at me with lust-filled eyes made me gulp involuntarily. I looked at him briefly and was caught off guard by a searing kiss, one that mainly consisted of unadulterated want and desire. I closed my eyes and felt Grimmjow's tongue slip past my lips.
For some reason, I couldn't get enough of it, and I felt myself buck into him time and time again. The friction from my shameless grinding against Grimmjow's own erection had caused me to moan into the kiss. I was left with an empty feeling in my gut as Grimmjow's lips left mine, but that empty feeling was soon replaced with a sensation that, at the time, I couldn't find the words to describe it, when Grimmjow pushed a finger past the tight ring of muscle and into me. I couldn't help but hiss in discomfort as the digit resided inside of me, still. The sensation had been a long-forgotten one, but that didn't change the fact that it was foreign. I felt my eyes squeeze together and I could hear my breath hitch more than it had done before when Grimmjow pushed a second finger past the ring of muscle. I tried to hold back a moan; it didn't work, and I soon felt Grimmjow stretch me in a scissoring motion agonisingly. It was soon followed by a third; I had forgotten that Grimmjow was big. I allowed moan after moan to leave me as Grimmjow's fingers continue to stretch and prepare me for the initial intrusion that was sure to come. I didn't have time to feel empty in between the short time period from when Grimmjow's fingers left me to when he pressed into me at such a force that threatened to knock all of the air out of my lungs and body. The initial breach had been intense, and it had caused a breathy gasp to escape past my lips. It wasn't in Grimmjow's character to be gentle, nor would it ever be a part of his nature, and as he pulled back slowly, I moaned wantonly. I heard Grimmjow grunt briefly about how tight it felt, how tight I felt, before he thrust back into me. The amount of power that he had used reminded me of the first time we slept together. Compared to then, everything now seemed more passionate and unadulterated, almost to the point where it had become a lot more needed, and wanted, than the first time, and I smiled inwardly at that. That was before Grimmjow rolled out and thrust in again, in doing so, he hit my prostate dead-on. A string of curses slipped past both his lips and my own at that point.
"D...do it again" I breathed quickly. All I got from Grimmjow at first was a coy smirk. It had been one that I had missed, but as soon as the smile faded, Grimmjow thrust in quickly, again and again, hitting my prostate dead-on with such an intensity that made me semi-delirious.
"God, you're so tight...it's been too long" Grimmjow somehow managed to say in between thrusts. How he was able to speak coherently, I had no idea, but it didn't matter. The minutes slowly ticked by, and the pace had increased, almost to the point where Grimmjow's thrust became fast and pleasurably unbearable. The more my hips met his' halfway, the more I felt myself gradually get closer and closer to the edge.
"nngh, Grimm...I don't think I can..." I moaned as Grimmjow continued to thrust into me time and time again.
"Just hold on...for a little longer, Ichi" he said. His voice was soft and definitely reassuring, and through lust-glassed eyes, I saw and felt one of Grimmjow's hand slip past his body and my own, and I moaned in pleasure loudly as his hand clasped around my aching length. His hand began to stroke my hard-on in time to his fast-paced thrusts, and as he did, I continued to moan. It didn't take Grimmjow long to reduce to me to wanton mewls, shameless moans and breathy gasps; it had been definitely too long since the last time we were in synch, and I knew that he missed it just as much as I did, if not more.
"I don't think...ahh, I can" I moaned more. I felt Grimmjow gently press his head into the juncture between my neck and shoulder blade as he thrust into me again and again. The coil in my belly snapped as I felt myself come; my breath hitched and my body shuddered more than it had done before at that moment. It didn't take Grimmjow much longer until he came deep within me with a low grunt as he did. Our heavy breathing mixed in with one another's for the next moment or two, and so did the somewhat familiar scent of the light sheet of sweat that adorned our bodies. My body had felt heavy when Grimmjow finally pulled out and collapsed next to me in a sweaty yet sexy heap on the bed. "I love you, Grimm" I slowly said as soon as my breathing had steadied out. I saw Grimmjow turn onto his side out of the corner of my eye.
"Ditto, Ichi" he smirked. I pouted a little.
"Can't you say it? Just this once?" I asked. I didn't want to get into an argument with him, but playful teasing never hurt anyone, right?
"What do you mean? I say it all the time" Grimmjow responded. The look in his eyes, not to mention the look on his face, was pure confusion, and through it all, I somehow managed to remain a little serious.
"No, you say 'ditto' and that's not the same thing" I argued back as I tried to hide the growing smile that threatened to appear on my face. I don't think it worked and before long, I couldn't hold back the smirk, nor could I disguise the small giggle that escaped past my lips as I closed my eyes lightly. I heard Grimmjow sigh, but then smile. He leant in close to me and kissed me once on the lips.
"I love you, Ichi. I'll say it however many times you want" Grimmjow smiled sincerely. It was only when a small glimmer of sunlight had caught sight of the promise ring that remained on my finger, and caused it to glisten subtlely. Grimmjow's expression changed a little in that following moment. "That ring. You kept it?" Grimmjow slowly asked.
"Yeah. Why do you ask?" I responded simply.
"Just thought you would have gotten rid of it, what with me putting you through Hell the last couple of months. I'm sorry, Ichigo" Grimmjow shrugged. It had caught me off guard but I smiled and captured his lips briefly.
"I'd do it over and over if it means being with you like this now, Grimmjow. I'm sorry too" I smiled reassuringly as soon as our lips parted. I closed my eyes briefly and before long, sleep greeted me invitingly, and so did Grimmjow's arms as they wrapped themselves around my body. I didn't have to worry about facing any more arguments with Grimmjow, nor did I have to worry about wanting a fresh start. We had hit a rough patch in our relationship, but I wasn't lying with what I had said to Grimmjow; I loved him from the bottom of my heart, I still do, and I would go through Hell over and over if it meant being with Grimmjow.
Okay, so I couldn't break the pair of them up. I apologise if anyone was wanting to read a GrimmIchi break-up fanfic and that I cheated them out of one, but I couldn't do it (they're my OTP of OTPs (if that even makes any sense - haha)). Thank you for reading 'Over And Over'. Until next time.