A/N: This was decidedly inspired by a fanfic by a friend of mine (Liz, as usual XD), so you can blame it allllll on her. Yes. All of it. I don't write this sort of stuff. EVER.

It's not like he's in-character anyway. DX

Bakura (C) Kazuki Takahashi; the girl is deliberately left unnamed, so you decide who she is. :D

-o-

"Put that down."

She looked up from the complex twist of numbers, leaving her concentration back on the math homework. "Put what down?"

He scowled. "The only object you're holding."

"But…" Confusion flitted across her face. "It's my pencil. So I can do my homework."

"It's distracting you."

"Actually, no." She gazed down at the dull yellow writing utensil. "It's a pretty boring pencil."

He hissed, reaching out and taking it out of her hand. "It's distracting you from me."

"No," she disagreed, snatching it back. "I'm pretty sure the algebra is doing that."

"Well, if you put down the pencil," he growled, leaning across the table, "you will be unable to do your homework, so you will focus your attention where it belongs."

"On freaking out about my grades?"

Gritting his teeth, he hissed again, frustration lacing the sound. "On me."

Amusement unfurled with her smile. "Believe it or not, I have other things in my life besides you."

"They are not important."

"And you're bored." She rolled her eyes and dropped them back to her paper. "Go kill a cat or something."

"You don't want me to do that."

"No I don't," she agreed. "But I do want to finish my homework sometime this week."

Rising abruptly, he moved lithely around the table to stand over her. She smiled pleasantly up at him, eyes unfocused.

"We're going outside," he purred, drawing a strand of her hair between long fingers.

"To do what, chuck acorns at each other?"

"Your house is stifling."

"I didn't ask you to come invade it. What'd you do, pick the lock on the front door?"

He snorted. "Hardly necessary. It was open."

"Hm…" She gazed absently at him, homework forgotten. "That's probably not safe."

"Decidedly not," he breathed, wrapping his arms around her. "A thief might break in and steal you away."

"Or a king," she added dreamily.

He chuckled, warm breath caressing her cheek. "Or both," he whispered, pulling her closer to him until they both sat on the chair.

"I have homework to do," she protested weakly.

"Not any more." Smiling slyly, he reached out, arms still around her, and tore the worksheet in two. Then, for good measure, he shredded it a few more times and tossed the scattered numbers on the table.

"Hey! What am I supposed to tell my teacher?"

Her indignation drew another chuckle from his lips, which were dangerously close to her face. "I believe the common excuse is the dog ate it."

"Bakura," she choked, "I don't have a dog. And—" A grin struggled to replace her discomfiture at his proximity. "I don't think the spirit of an Ancient Egyptian King of Thieves shredded it has quite the same effect."

"Want me to come along and prove it to them?"

"No," she said firmly.

A smirk curled lazily across his features. "Are you sure?" he murmured in her ear.

"Yes," she choked. "Yes, yes, yes."

"Yes, you want me to come?"

"Yes—no! No, I don't want you to come, yes, I'm sure!"

"Hm…" He smiled smugly. "You don't sound so sure."

"You, at my school," she said shakily, "would be a disaster."

"Perhaps," he agreed, drawing even closer.

"No perhaps," she responded firmly, scrambling to push him away. "For sure."

"But it would be a disaster you would enjoy."

"Heck no. I'd never be able to show my face at school again."

"Perfect," he breathed.

"Not perfect. Not—"

"You're remarkably coherent for one in your position."

"And it's taking a heck of an effort, let me tell you."

"I have a better idea," he purred. "A new assignment."

"I liked my old assignment better."

"No, you didn't."

"No," she sighed, surrendering to his kiss. "I didn't."