Lord Hater hates. It's what he does. It's like, his thing. He hates the alarms signaling a critical failure in his cranial vessel's support systems. He hates the clamor of his army scrambling about in terror. He hates how Commander Peepers screeches at the Watchdogs in an attempt to regain order. He hates the alarm system's red lights flaring in his vision. He hates the smoking hole breached in his ship's hull. He hates Wander and Sylvia as they casuder and Sylvia as they ally stroll away, unharmed. He hates the two Watchdogs chatting behind him. He hates their stupid voices, he hates their boring conversation. He hates that he can't tune it out.
"I think Wander lays it on a little thick."
"What do you mean, bro?"
The Watchdog shrugs, "You know, how he flirts with Lord Hater."
Hater whips around, clenched fists crackling with magic, "WHAT?!" he roars.
The Watchdogs flinch and look up at Hater and then to each other before looking to him once more. "Uh, like, the guy with the big hat?" One says, pantomiming Wander's hat with one hand raised about his head.
Hater struggles in a futile battle against himself to not decimate his entire stupid army.
"YES, I KNOW WANDER! HE'S LIKE, THE BANE OF MY EXISTANCE! SERIOUSLY! WHY WOULD YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?" He shrieks at the two Watchdogs, flailing his arms in the air.
The Watchdogs cross their arms and one says, "I don't know, you seemed confused so I was clarifying."
Hater grinds his teeth together, words being hissed out, "What were you saying about Wander?" He stresses 'saying' as if enunciating the word more clearly would convey how close they were to certain violent death by electrocution.
"That he tries too hard when he flirts with you." The Watchdog says simply.
The other Watchdog turns to his comrade excitedly, "Oh! I see what you mean now! What with all the hugging and kissing and suggestive jokes! Yeah, he's like, super obvious about it."
Nodding emphatically, the first Watchdog replies, "Right? He's flirting so hard you'd have to be an idiot not to notice it!"
Hater raises his hand with a howl of rage, ready to destroy his henchmen and most likely the entire ship if not every planet nearby, then freezes.
Wander was… Flirting with him?
His claws fall against his sides.
Why would Wander flirt with him? What could it mean? Was Wander flirting with him simply to add variety to his onslaught of annoyances? After all, everything Wander did, was for the sole purpose of making Hater mad and foiling his plans of galactic conquest. If he was flirting with Hater to enrage him, it certainly was working. Hater had never felt so humiliated! He shakes in fury.
That's it! He would not stand for this kind of torment any longer! Wander's cunning had gotten him so far, but this would be his last shenanigan. They were going to fix the ship and chase after Wander and Sylvia until Hater got his revenge! He was going to destroy Wander once and for all! No matter what. Nothing was going to stop him. This was going to be their final confrontation. All those years of playing cat-and-mouse were leading up to this defining moment. He was going to end it. He needed to! And then he would finally be THE GREATEST IN THE G- Hater was ripped from his internal tirade by the Watchdogs whispering to one another.
"It's kind of sweet, though. You can tell Wander is trying so hard because really cares about Lord Hater."
The one Watchdog elbows the other, "keep it down man, Lord Hater might hear you!" He pauses, then adds quietly, "though I gotta admit, it is pretty cute."
Hater was about to scoff at them, to tell them that it is all part of Wander's plan to make him look like a fool and ruin his life when he hears a squeak coming from the outside of his ship's ocular windshield.
He slowly turns and is horrified to see Wander drawing a heart in the fog on his windshield with a furry fingertip. Wander notices Hater watching him and sends a huge grin Hater's way before winking and disappearing into the expanse of space.
Hater's nonexistent stomach churns with unease. He can't help but feel unnerved when he knows he should only feel rage from Wander's antics. What is this feeling? A strange anxiety wells up within him as he watches the heart slowly vanish from the windshield.
Peepers shoves Watchdogs aside to reach Hater in an attempt to stop him from flying into a torrent of rage. He skids to a stop next to Hater's sneakers.
"Sir?" He squints upward, dubious that Hater is not trying to jump out of the ship to chase Wander or taking control of the ship to unleash their entire arsenal blindly into space.
Hater ignores his 3rd in command, a large scowl carved into his skull. He slowly shambles into the depths of his ship, the chaos around him muffled by his own thoughts.
He flopped onto his bed, sighing heavily. He glared at the ceiling, the rippling of his waterbed subsiding until the stillness of his room hummed around him.
Ok, so maybe Wander was flirting with him. Maybe Wander was being genuine about it. So what? Hater still hated him more than anything! And nothing would change that! Even if Wander was – Hater shuddered, his bones clacking together – interested in him romantically. How could he not be? He was Lord Hater, the galaxy's number one super star, after all. He had plenty of adoring fans (Probably).
Hater sits up.
In fact, it somewhat made sense. Wander was almost as obsessed with Hater as Hater was obsessed with Wander! Someone who thinks about him that much must surely be in love with him. It's only logical.
Hater nods to himself, thick boney arms crossed, hunched in thought. It was a reasonable conclusion that Wander was hitting on him. So what did that mean exactly? Did he want to date Hater? Did he want to hold hands with him or cuddle with him or kiss him or make out with him or touch him in certain places or- Hater shrieked and threw the video game controller that was resting on his bed into his TV screen.
"NO NO NO NO NO NO!" He screams into his pillow, kicking his legs. This is exactly why Wander annoyed him so much! Hater doesn't understand how, but Wander can put these weird thoughts in his head and make him feel these weird things! Does he have psychic powers? Does it have something to do with the power of friendship or love or all that other nonsense he preaches?
Hater drags a claw down his face. Love. What a bunch of nonsense. He tries to displace his current thought process, sick of reasoning out Wander's feelings for him. He feels the quietness of his room weighing on him. As annoying as he is, Wander might genuinely like him. As more than a friend, even. been dropping all these subtle hints to make Hater lose sleep so he would lose his already meager standing on the vi
So what does that mean about his feelings for Wander?
Hater is tired. He's sick of thinking. Hater doesn't know how to feel. He doesn't know what action to take. He decides to do what he is known for. Maybe it's all he knows how to do. Lord Hater hates.