Hi Everyone!

Me (Tanya) and Kaja have started writing this story a while ago on Quizilla, but then we were too busy and gave up. And now we're back again!

This story is mostly crack, and doesn't really follow any events past the 4th book. Just pretend... Voldermort is on vacation or something for most of it. Enjoy!

---

"Blah Blah Blah" - Talking

Blah Blah Blah - Thoughts

Blah Blah Blah - Stress on words

---

Disclaimer: We realize this is hard to believe, but we don't own Harry Potter. We know, we know, how shocking.

---

Chapter 1: Introduction

QUICK DESCRIPTION OF YOU: You are seventeen, tall, slightly curly shiny raven black hair, killer legs, kinda small chest, and stunning green eyes.

"Wake up! Wake the ruddy hell up! That blasted train is going to leave without you and you sure as hell aren't missing it and staying here! WAKE UP!!!"

I sat up in my bed groaning and rubbing my eyes groggily. My horrible muggle uncle was pounding on my door and bellowing about how "your bloody train is going to leave for that bloody dump of a school you go to". I groaned again and fell back onto my bed, trying to drown out his yelling with my pillow.

Until his words registered in my brain.

Who cares if the stupid train is gonna leave... wait... THE TRAIN IS GOING TO LEAVE?!?! WHAT?!?!

I shot bolt upright and looked around wildly for my alarm clock (although it was just sitting on my bedside table, as always). I grabbed it and stared at the time. 10:45?!

The train leaves at 11:00!!

I jumped out of bed and quickly pulled out a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Coming downstairs, I noticed my overly obese, disgusting cousin staring at me. Was that... drool?! I quickly sped up and entered the kitchen.

"There's no time for breakfast," my aunt said coldly. "Get your trunk and get out!"

I was in my seventh year and so I was allowed to do magic outside of school and apparate. With a flick of my wand, my trunk and owl cage came soaring down the stairs, nearly knocking over my fat cousin. I gripped my trunk with one hand, my owl cage in the other, and a blueberry fat-free muffin in my teeth. As I was about to walk out the door, my stupid cousin ran up and winked at me, licking his lips. I choked on the muffin and ran out the door as fast as I fucking could. Glancing back nervously, I saw him checking out my ass.

Eew, that gross freak! We're cousins! I shuddered. Swallowing the rest of your muffin, I closed my eyes in concentration... and apparated inside platform 9 and 3/4, where the steaming scarlet Hogwarts Express engine was whistling shrilly and students were bustling around saying goodbye to their families. I spotted my two best friends and followed them discreetly into the train. When they had settled themselves in a compartment, I pranced in and squealed, "Hey guys, how was your summer?!?!"

They both grinned up at me, and the girl with long, bushy brown hair said, "Hi Harry, long time no see."

END HARRY'S POV

The train ride was very...odd.

"So how's it been?" Hermione asked.

"Well, Dudley kept... er... I think he was hitting on me!"

"Ew..." Ron squeaked in a girly voice. Hermione raised an eyebrow. Harry looked at Ron, and noticed how handsome he was.

"Wow Ron! You sure have grown!" Harry said in a seductive voice.

"Harry?" Hermione stared at him.

"Oh...haha...hehe..." Harry blushed and looked away. Deciding not to talk for the rest of the ride in fear of saying something as embarrassing as what he just said.

Looking out the window, He noticed Ron's reflection in the window. Harry turned to face him.

Look at that hair! It's so beautiful when it's blowing into his face like that... and that face! Oh that face! Harry thought dreamily, totally ignoring the fact that Ron and Hermione were looking at him with disgusted faces...

"Umm, Harry? Is something wrong with you?" Hermione questioned. Harry happily turned to Hermione and smiled the biggest smile.

"No, everything is just perfect." Harry sighed.

Five minutes later he thought of what just happened.

Harry! How can you be so stupid Ron's your friend you can't like him!!!

They all sat in an awkward silence for the next 10 minutes. Harry was just peacefully sitting, looking out the window when...

Oh GOD! Ron's a guy too! A fucking GUY!

"Holy shit...he's a guy! NASTY!"

"Who's a guy?"

"Oh... Dudley. He's a guy... um... isn't that DISGUSTING?!"

Both of Harry's friends stared at him ...again.

The rest of the ride was completely silent. As soon as the train stopped, Ron and Hermione immediately rushed out of the compartment, leaving Harry alone and very confused.

Getting off the train, Harry noticed a pair of stunning blue eyes staring intently at him, and then disappearing into the crowd. He shrugged and continued walking towards the carriages.

As Harry finally reached Hogwarts, and entered the Great Hall, everyone finished settling down into their seats. He looked around, seeing new faces. Then Harry found those blue eyes again. He noticed who they belonged too.

Draco Malfoy.

Harry watched him for a while. Watched him eat his dinner with that characteristic Malfoy sophistication. Harry was almost mesmerized.

Harry honestly couldn't, or at least really didn't want to take his eyes off Draco. Then it hit him.

Wait... DRACO MALFOY???

Harry choked on his muffin.

So, how'd you like it? The chapters aren't very long so sorry about that

Review Please?