Hi guys. This idea just popped into me head and so I started writing and, ta-da! The result. I apologize in advance for any spelling or grammar mistakes, the only person to read/edit this was my friend, and she's a huge anime and manga hater, so I doubt she even looked at it.
Disclaimer: sadly I don't own Naruto. If I did, the Akatsuki would be alive, and Sasuke wouldn't be a dickhead.
It was a normal afternoon for the Akatsuki. Deidara and Sasori fighting, Hidan yelling about 'Jashin', Kakuzu telling him to shut up, Tobi being annoying, Zetsu being freaky, and Kisame being Kisame. Yeah, pretty normal.
Itachi is always the calm, cool, collected one of the Akatsuki. He was never annoying, or loud, or mean.
Unfortunately today was a little different. Today was not a good day for the Uchiha. He got no sleep at all last night. Kisame had decided he wanted to have a 'sleep over' without asking Itachi, so his constant snoring was impossible to sleep through. And when he did manage to fall asleep, for about an hour, he woke up to Kisames smiling face, centimeters away from his own face, scarring him right off the bed.
To make matters worse when Itachi felt hungry enough to make something to eat, he realized someone, *cough* Konan *cough*, had eaten the last of his dango. And he wasn't really interested in eating the left over arm that Zetsu had offered.
With nothing to eat he thought a shower would be good. But there he was, mid shower, about to condition. Deidara had apparently used the last of his conditioner, forcing him to not be able to wash his hair properly, thus having the worst hair day, EVER!
Now Itachi sat in the living room with some of the other Akatsuki members. He was trying to calm himself down. If Deidara made one more explosion, he would surely deck the blonde.
A tick mark appeared on Itachi's forehead when Tobi rammed into him, nearly knocking him over, shouting "but Kisame-san, Tobi is a good boy!"
A couple seconds later Kisame whizzed by, chasing after the masked ninja.
"You greedy fucking prick!" Perfect. -immortal-bitch had to waltz in. Kakuzu following after him. "You have enough fucking money dammit! It won't fucking kill you to share, zombie dick!" Itachi was confused why Hidan insisted on calling Kakuzu 'zombie', when he also had zombie attributes.
"Hidan. Be quiet." Kakuzu told the Jashinist.
This only made Hidan angrier "fuck you Kakuzu! Your always pissing me off!" Hidans voice was naturally loud, but it wouldn't kill him to whisper once in a while.
Itachi was now trying desperately to ignore his comrades.
"Whatever Danna, un. Art is fleeting, yeah." there goes Deidara, talking about art, there are more important things than just art.
"Zetsu!" Pein shouted. "For the last time, no, you cannot 'taste' Tobi, even if he does look like a lollipop!"
That's another thing that pissed Itachi off, Zetsu was always trying to eat people. He really should lay off the bath salts.
'deep breathes' 'deep breathes'. Itachi thought to himself, trying to relax.
"I will fucking sacrifice you to lord Jashin, you retarded ass!" Hidan wouldn't just be quiet. Itachi growled loudly, the pink-eyed man turned to him, just noticing he was there. "Hey Itachi." He said loudly. "What the fuck's up with your hair? It looks like fucking shit!"
That was the last straw. "HIDAN SHUT THE FUCK UP! YOU ARE SO LOUD AND ANNOYING AND IM SICK OF IT! JASHIN IS A MADE UP CHARACTER TAKING OVER YOUR MIND SO GROW THE FUCK UP YOU BAKA!" Yup, Itachi was at his breaking point. All of the Akatsuki members starred wide-eyed at him. They were shocked at his outburst. Itachi never swore, so they were pretty surprised.
"AND YOU!" The pissed off sharingan user pointed to Deidara, who gave him a look like 'what could possibly be wrong with me?' "EVERYTHING IS ALWAYS ABOUT STUPID ART WITH YOU! ART THIS, ART THAT, FUCK ART! OH AND JUST TO BE CLEAR, I WAS LYING WHEN I SAID YOU LOOKED LIKE A GUY, SO GO SUCK IT, IN FACT SUCK YOUR PRECIOUS 'DANNA'!"
Deidara and Sasori's mouths dropped to the floor. "YEAH THAT'S RIGHT PINHOCCHIO, I KNOW WHAT YOU AND BARBIE DO WHEN YOU'RE ALONE!" Poor Sasori is getting the Uchiha wrath when he hadn't even done anything.
Tobi decided now would be a good time to speak. "Ita-"
"NO TOBI, DON'T TALK, YOU ARE NOT A GOOD BOY!" Itachi was extremely pissed, he was just about foaming at the mouth. His face red and seething with rage, he didn't even care that Tobi was now crying hysterically.
"Itachi you need to take a breather." Kisame thought if anyone could help, it was him.
He was wrong. "SHUP UP YOU STUPID BLUE FISH-MAN-SHARK, FREAK OF NATURE! YOU ARE BANNED FROM EVER ENTERING MY ROOM AGAIN! I DID NOT ENJOY FINDING YOU IN BED WITH ME, YOU ARE AN EVEN BIGGER CREEPY AND PERVERTED PEDOPHILE THAN OROCHIMARU!"
Itachi was breathing heavily from all the yelling.
"AND KONAN!" He was apparently not finished with his ranting. "I DO NOT CARE IF YOU ARE PMS-ING, DO NOT EVER TOUCH, OR EVEN LOOK AT MY DANGO, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT MY DANGO! IF YOU DO I WILL TSUKUYOMI YOU!" Instead of being scarred like all the other Akatsuki members, Konan could really care less about what Itachi was saying.
"Now" Itachi started, finally calming down. "Anyone else have anything they would like to say?" Kakuzu raised his hand. "NOT YOU STITCHES!"
Zetsus black half was about to say something but was immediately silenced with a death glare from Itachi.
"Ok so were all good then. Bye." With that Itachi walked away leaving everyone completely shocked, in fact, too shocked to do or say anything. The Akatsuki were all thinking "holy shit, he lost it."
After many moments of silence, Tobi was the one to speak, "actually, Tobi was the one who ate Itachi-sans dango."
Thanks for reading! Please review and tell me what you think, because that would make me very happy. I know Itachi didn't flip out on Pein but whatever. I actually lied at the beginning, this didn't randomly pop into my head. My cousin was telling me a story about her friend, who is always mello, randomly flipped on everyone. My cousin was like Sasori, she was just sitting there and got yelled at. So yeah, even though my cousin didn't help me write this at all, I will give her credit for the idea. Thanks cuz! Love you! Oh and don't post comments like "oh blah blah blah, no one in akatsuki would just sit there and let Itachi get away with this." Well guess what, its Itachi fricken Uchiha, flipping his shit! So I'm pretty sure no one would be able to say anything cause they would all be shocked as hell. Alright review! And sorry about the long authors note.