Ah, look at all the lonely band nerds! Ah, look at all the lonely band nerds!

Captain Adam
Takes off the hat, puts the feather back in the bin.
Gloves off, pants in.
Waits on the pavement,
Standing outside in the rain, though the door is ajar.
He has no car.

All the lonely band nerds. The field is where they're from. All the lonely band nerds, In band, where they belong.

Audra the Stalker,
Roll steps behind to make sure Captain Adam can't hear.
Can't seem to get near.
Look at her stalking,
Giving her all just to get a glimpse of him there.
What does she care?

All the lonely band nerds. The field is where they're from. All the lonely band nerds, In band, where they belong.

Ah, look at all the lonely band nerds! Ah, look at all the lonely band nerds!

Captain Adam
Left the school and all of his drum maj'ring fame.
To Notre Dame!
Audra the Stalker,
Watching him take the diploma, with eyes sad and grave.
"Let our band be saved!"

All the lonely band nerds. The field is where they're from. All the lonely band nerds, In band, where they belong.