Abnormal

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((bold print is 'flash back'))

((italic print is thought))

Disclaimer: I do not own X-men Evolution or any of the associated characters

Chapter One:

A Bright Sunny Day

The sun was shining brightly for the first time in a week. Birds were singing in the trees, the first sign of spring had arrived. The residents of Xavier's Institute had been looking forward to this day for months. The end of a long and at times insane winter was upon them. This was the time for celebration.

No one was celebrating. In fact, it was nearly silent in the large kitchen, aside from the soft sniffling in the corner from one Katherine 'Kitty' Pryde. Everyone in the room seemed intent on remaining invisible as they stared at the doorway, waiting for their impending doom.

From the hallway came the sounds of an argument that had been going in circles for the last hour, since they had all gathered in the kitchen.

"Why me?" demanded Remy LeBeau, in an almost whining tone.

"It's your turn!" Logan replied, sounding annoyed.

"Non. Twas my turn last time. It's someone else's turn."

"As a member of the team-"

"Fine! I quit the team then."

"As a member of the household-"

"I'll move out."

"C'mon kid. It's gotta be you. No one else can get near the door without getting stabbed!"

"I got stabbed last time! Twice!" Remy said with a shudder.

Unfortunately for Remy as soon as they entered the kitchen, everyone else remembered they had to be somewhere and left in such a hurry they forgot to put away their dishes...or close the fridge.

"So what do you want for breakfast?" Remy asked as he looked in the fridge.

"Eggs and bacon."

"Sorry, no more eggs. "Remy said as he intentionally overlooked half a carton in the back. Eggs equaled forks, which you can be stabbed with. He had a mental list of possible sharp objects that came to mind whenever he felt threatened.

"Okay then. Toast. " Rogue replied with a frown.

"No more bread, looks like. " Remy replied, happily avoiding the half a loaf in the bread box, and the butter knife.

"Fine cereal." Rogue said, really frustrated now.

"Sorry, cher, the milk's gone. "Remy said this time being completely honest. "How bout some donuts? They're chocolate."

"Fine." Rogue replied. "But I know what you're doing."

"What am I doing?"

"You're avoiding giving me any sharp object because you're afraid of getting stabbed. You do that whenever anyone's upset. You explained it to me yourself months ago."

"...We really are out of milk."

"Well of course we are, you can't be stabbed with a spoon. Well unless it was sharpened somehow or you used the handle."

Remy moved slightly away from her at this statement. Before he could think of anything else to say, she asked him for some coffee, which made him very happy. Remy needed coffee to survive the day at this rate.

What happened next Remy never clearly remembered. He must have said something, though what was beyond him. The next thing he knew, he was flat on his back, covered in orange juice, with Logan pulling Rogue off of him as she tried to stab him with half a .

"Are you her best friend or not?" said Logan, shaking Remy from the horrific memory that still haunted him.

"Of course I am. That don't mean I'm gonna deal with her monthly issue again. Ask one of the girls to calm her down."

"Don' work you know that! You're the only one who can distract her when she gets in this mood! Do you really think I'd beg you to go to a girl's room if there was another choice?"

Remy grumbled "What did y'all do 'fore I got here anyway?'

"Avoided her like the plague and prayed." Logan said seriously before walking away.

"I want a note excusing me from classes and a large bag of chocolate. This is going to be a hard one." Remy called after him.

Everyone in the kitchen relaxed now that the monthly argument was over and Remy had once more agreed to calm Rogue down over her book club shipment being late. This happened more often than not, and she was unbearable until the mail finally arrived.

As the chatter finally started, Jean noticed Scott was absent from the table. She considered going up to collect him, but he had been so well behaved since they got back from the mountains that she decided to just let it go for now. Perhaps if she had decided then to go up, what came later could have been averted.

~o~O~o~

Remy was grumbling to himself as he put on his body armor in preparation for his visit to Rogue's room. He had forgotten last month, and had no intention of making that mistake again. At least Scott wasn't in here glaring at him again. Though Remy did briefly wonder where Scott might be, since he didn't remember seeing the other boy downstairs.

Remy quickly forgot this concern however when he took his phone out of his jeans to place on the nightstand. He glaceed at it as he turned it off, and was shocked to see that it was the 3rd. This was going to be worse than normal.

It was bad enough that the first Monday of every month he had to go calm down his friend when her books didn't arrive on time, but this month it was on the THIRD! The third. The one day a month he and every other male in the house with any brain whatsoever avoided her,Wanda, Jean, and Kitty.

This was THATday. The one they all dreaded. It was was then that Remy reconsidered his decision on quitting, and was halfway to his dresser before he realized he didn't have his keys right now. Logan had taken them last night for being five minutes late.

Remy was convinced that Logan had set him up with this now. Of course, Logan would know what today was. He would have known that her books would be late (since they always were) and he would have known that this was the day her period started. Remy wasn't even sure he'd been late now that he thought about it. What if Logan had set forward all the clocks just as an excuse to punish him and force him to end up in this situation? Muttering to himself and plotting Logan's demise via long fall, Remy headed out to talk Rogue down.

~o~O~o~

Scott had never been this proud of a plan. It was brilliant. He'd been plotting for weeks and had just had to wait for the perfect timing. He knew when Rogue's books didn't arrive as usual everyone would be far too distracted to notice him slipping away. With any good luck it would be hours, if not days before it was noticed.

Everything was in place, now all he had to do was wait. There was no chance of them catching him, he had made sure of it. First he had borrowed some thing Forge made that hid the storage room he was hiding in. Then he had borrowed Magneto's helmet again. After that he had stolen Logan's cologne. Logan wouldn't be able to smell him if he smelled like Logan Scott had decided. Finally he had left a note saying he was going to visit his brother. It was perfect.

Once night came, he would be ready, he just had to wait until then. Smiling gleefully Scott sat of the crate in the corner staring at the package that had nearly ruined his plan. He was thankful he had seen the mailman coming this morning and in time to grab Rogue's books from the box before Kitty had checked the mail.

~o~O~o~

Remy was halfway to Rogue's room when he heard the crash of something being thrown in the girls' dorm. He assumed correctly that Rogue was once more throwing her books around in protest of the late mail.

He sighed heavily. This was going to be worse than he's imagined in his room. She didn't normally start the book throwing until closer to evening. He needed a way out of this mess. He supposed he could just sneak out of the house and head to school, leaving the adults to deal with it. However it was likely they had already called the school, and the others had already left.

It was then that Remy came up with his latest brilliant plan. He knew just how to get out of helping Rogue (and likely being stabbed again). One that would defiantly work! Logan would play right into it! It was the best plan ever, he would be free from this monthly torment! All he needed to do was talk Rogue into it.