Just Pretend.
What the hell am I doing here? Am I watching this to make sure it's over once and for all? Then I remembered:
The constant arguing over the stupid as fuck things; peanut butter, lack of bread, her terrible job. All the fights were just covering up the fact neither of us had the balls to admit the truth.
Stephanie Plum was never mine. As much as I wanted her to be, as much as my heart and soul needed her to be, I knew deep down to my bones she never was.
What really made it real was a day I'd rather forget. I'd been out of state, in Las Vegas, on a long term undercover assignment and upon my return, I instinctually did what I hadn't done since only God knew when. Friday Night Pot Roast at the Plum's house. I can't, even now, recall why I'd thought it would be a good idea. I hadn't seen or even talked to her in months but I show up at her parent's house expecting she'd be there and expecting I'd be welcomed back?
I still remember Frank Plum's sneer as he asked me what in the ever living hell I was doing on his front porch and his parting words stayed with me for a long time. "It's high time you grow a set of balls and admitted to yourself that chasing after my daughter will only cause you pain."
Too bad I never really listened to him.
I watched a handful of people go to my Grandmother and Mother saying how sorry they were that Joey's not here anymore with them, leaving the but dangling in the air, unspoken.
I knew what they really wanted to say: "But maybe if he accepted what happened he could have grown up to be someone instead of the slobbering drunktard he was after finding out the news."
Of course, when I heard Steph had given up her own family, apartment, and her old life for a new one, moving into a place only God and a Invitation from Haywood Street could get into, the news spread like wildfire around the burg.
Rangeman.
I never even knew they were dating; I was out of the state and out of the loop so long that by the time I got back and my Mother told me the news, I hit the bottle and had only Bob for company.
I was bound and determined to drink my sorrow and pain away even knowing Steph and I had been over for a longer than I cared to admit.
There had been multiple unreturned phone calls.
A new floor bolt installed on her door to keep me out.
A new phone number and not even anyone at Vinnie's bond office knew it, as she had quit the day after I left the state for my job.
Everyone I bumped into around town just happened to tell me about every time Stephanie left town with my arch rival, Ranger Manoso.
Making trips to his other offices; after all she was the brains behind the new overhauled system in every department with her partner, Hector the gang banger. She was making the company grow at each stop they made, cultivating major changes in the business structure and then finally Rangeman hit the top 3 spot on the Fortune 500 listing.
No photo just the name and his office locations. Nothing else, after all the man loved his privacy and with Steph by his side, they both got it.
The gossips also liked to inform me just how much she glowed with happiness every time they saw the lovebirds together. It was enough to make me lose my appetite. I lost my taste for everything, especially desserts and even my Mother's cannoli.
I was dropping weight like crazy but then what made it even worse was remembering how soft and sweet Steph's creamy center was and how now, only another man got to taste her, to feel her surrounding him. That right there told me she was never really mine to begin with.
How could I ever make amends for something I did to her and never regretted? Arrogant and full of myself, I thought why not, and got to work all over Trenton.
Enough to make me taste the bile rising in the back of my throat at the sight each time I personally witnessed Steph looking up into that man's eyes. I knew Steph never ever thought of me, even as a passing thought.
Like I never ever mattered to her at all.
Eyes that should have been mine.
Finally I just couldn't stand it anymore.
The gossip.
This town.
My phone ringing at every sighting of the woman who turned down Joseph Morelli, so I did what I needed to do.
Bob went to live with Grandma Bella, just for awhile, but I knew it was for good. My liquor stash had grown, just waiting for this time to happen and finally it did.
I got off shift after I talked to HR, making sure my family would be taken care of. My house would be given to Mooch; after all he always needed a place to stay.
The night I chose was ironically Pot Roast Night, I waited till about 5:30 that night and just started in.
The caps all off the bottles, I had the game on for background noise and made sure I was freshly showered and wearing all new clothes before I started my journey.
The journey that leads me right here to hearing our Parish Priest, Father Macdonald, perform the last rites for the dearly departed.
The rain started coming down harder and Grandma and Mother were clinging to each other. Only my family showed up, no one else seemed to care about me.
Not in life.
Certainly not in my death.
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A/N. This Challenge hopefully meets what Ms. ShellSueD issued on the Babe and Plum Family Facebook Page.
All Characters are from the mind of Janet, whom I wish would have ended this series on "One Ranger Is All You'll Ever Need."
Thanks for beta help, Ms. Shelley. Once again you rock it.
I was re reading After the Night by our own LilyGhost and in chapter 23, Joe makes this lovely comment to Ranger:
"I fucking hate that she married you," Morelli said, through gritted teeth. "I can't even think about it without feeling sick. I despise seeing the two you together, and I'm never going to be happy she chose your life over me and mine, but I can't change things no matter how I want to..."
Hence my dark side of Shelley's challenge came out to play...evil cackle of laughter.