A/N: This is a CoS-themed parody of "Mama Told Me (Not to Come)", the classic song about a
boy who attends a wild party against his mother's advice and ends up regretting it. The
original lyrics are Randy Newman's, the most famous cover version is Three Dog Night's, and
all other characters and concepts are JK Rowling's. I own nothing except the twisted
satisfaction of having put them all together.
Dobby Told Me (Not to Come)
Want a howler with your breakfast?
Singing valentine?
Why did some rogue bludger break this arm of mine?
This is the craziest school year that could ever be
Students turned to stone, everyone's blamin' me.
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
That ain't the way to have fun, no, uh-uh
Pixies wrecking classrooms, so much homework I can't breathe
One day I might be blinded by the glare off Lockhart's teeth
And that polyjuice that's brewin'
Don't scare me I don't think
But if I don't belong in Gryffindor, that would really stink
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
That ain't the way to have fun, son
That ain't the way to have fun, son
The Chamber has been opened, heir of Slytherin says "war"
My best friend's sister Ginny, she's passed out on the floor
Basilisk is coming, same one Myrtle saw before
Riddle's got my wand, have to fight for Dumbledore
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
He said, That ain't the way to have fun, son
That ain't the way to have fun, no
That ain't the way to have fun, no
That ain't the way to have fun, son
boy who attends a wild party against his mother's advice and ends up regretting it. The
original lyrics are Randy Newman's, the most famous cover version is Three Dog Night's, and
all other characters and concepts are JK Rowling's. I own nothing except the twisted
satisfaction of having put them all together.
Dobby Told Me (Not to Come)
Want a howler with your breakfast?
Singing valentine?
Why did some rogue bludger break this arm of mine?
This is the craziest school year that could ever be
Students turned to stone, everyone's blamin' me.
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
That ain't the way to have fun, no, uh-uh
Pixies wrecking classrooms, so much homework I can't breathe
One day I might be blinded by the glare off Lockhart's teeth
And that polyjuice that's brewin'
Don't scare me I don't think
But if I don't belong in Gryffindor, that would really stink
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
That ain't the way to have fun, son
That ain't the way to have fun, son
The Chamber has been opened, heir of Slytherin says "war"
My best friend's sister Ginny, she's passed out on the floor
Basilisk is coming, same one Myrtle saw before
Riddle's got my wand, have to fight for Dumbledore
Dobby told me not to come
Dobby told me not to come
He said, That ain't the way to have fun, son
That ain't the way to have fun, no
That ain't the way to have fun, no
That ain't the way to have fun, son