Hey there. Spoilers for episode "On my Way"
D/c: Not mine. I don't make money.
Warnings: Thoughts of suicide. Minor use of language.
A/n: I do not condone suicide or homophobia. There are better people out there. Suicide is unfortunately a big part of my life and it's just important for people to be there when someone needs them. 1-800-273-8255 National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Call if you or someone you know is suspected suicidal. There is always more to life.
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One word. Three letters. FAG.
When he saw the bright pink it was more than a word he'd thrown a thousand times. It was more than a name. It was a label. It was an identity. It was he.
David turned around to face the predatory glares and smirks. He was one of them. Or he used to be. Now he was the prey.
What would they do to him? Did they have the same pure, dark hatred he used to hold for Hummel? Men were wicked. Men were hurtful. Men were animals. Men were out for blood. And right now, he was no longer a man. Their words muffled in his ears as his flight instinct kicked in for the first time in his life.
At one point, he'd wanted Hummel to die. He couldn't even deny it to himself. He hated him so badly that he wished he would cease to exist. He wanted everyone who cared for him to hurt because the fairy was an abomination. Now look where he was. The world is cruel.
No, people are cruel. And David is a person. Or was. Or might be. Or never will be. He doesn't know and he doesn't care. Everything is his fault and he deserves it. He is scum. He is pain. He is nothing. And Kurt deserved better.
Maybe David can make it up to Hummel. To Hummel and Burt and Finn and all of the gleeks. And to his own mom and dad. They raised a coward. They raised a criminal. They raised an animal. He deserved the coming slaughter.
He wasn't David anymore. He wasn't a jock. He wasn't a person. He wasn't even gay. He was a fag. A god-damned, good for nothing label. His friends told him so. His enemies told him so. It's now on the Internet - everyone knows; the world is telling him so.
His mind shuts down. His body reacts. There is a weight. His chest so heavy. He can't breathe. His eyes burn, his throat closes. He isn't strong enough. He isn't strong at all.
There is pain, there is fear, there is pure suffocation. He sees his hands moving. He knows what he needs to do. He needs to counteract the weight.
David thinks of Kurt. He is like him, but he is not. He looks in the mirror and sees a reflection of Kurt. He sees desperation and weakness. He sees a sharp suit and tie. He sees everything he hates. But he does not see strength. Soon, the tears stop him from seeing anything at all.
He moves by feeling. He is low. He is sunken. He is heavy, so heavy. He needs to be higher. He needs to breathe, to feel. He climbs.
Gasping for breath, he does the only thing he can, the only thing his body can and will do. The weight threatens to stop his heart. He doesn't think. He jumps.
And for the first time in his life, David levitates.
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Till next time,
-J X