Exit—Stage Left

Kate stared at the storyboard with her wine in her hand. So much had happened, and she was so close now to finally and completely solving her mother's case. Even though she was waiting for Josh to arrive after his shift, her mind wasn't focused on him at the moment or her mother's case. Kate's thoughts were filled with Castle. Trying to sleep had become a cruel joke the last few months. Every night, her mind raced with rerunning moments but with strange twists on the actual events that bordered on nightmares...

Castle holding her in the freezer as she spoke what she thought were her dying words of love to him, only to suddenly have Josh mysteriously take his place in the dream looking in her eyes instead as Castle's name rolled from her frozen lips and Josh shattered into tiny icy pieces.

Castle holding her hand as he pulled the wires from the bomb once again, and the strange explosion that replaced him with Josh invoking a shocked "No!" from her as she yanked her hand from his grasp and began calling out for Castle, in her dream and in her sleep.

And last night, her nightmare about going to the movies with Castle to see Forbidden Planet and the way he suddenly started kissing her when the robot started walking out of the movie screen. But the robot didn't stop like the man in the parking lot the night they saved Ryan and Esposito. Instead the robot grabbed Castle from the seat and her embrace, dragging him into the movie screen with no one else in the theater to help but Josh sitting next to her in the other seat complaining about the butter on the popcorn not being good for her health, oblivious to the danger Castle was in.

And now. Castle was in her mind full-force while she was wide awake. Kate's lips touching the wine class invoked intense memories of Castle's incredible kissing ruse that left her tingling and light-headed before they rushed in to save the guys… that sound in his voice when he said 'amazing' echoing in her ears as they ran up the steps into the building with pounding hearts to save the guys.

The doorbell rang, startling her into nearly spilling her wine. Kate closed the window shutters to the storyboard and walked to the door wondering why Josh wasn't using his key to come in.

"Josh?" she asked through the door.

"Yeah, who else would you be expecting at this hour?" Dead silence and an edge of sarcasm hung in the air for a few minutes before Kate opened the door, ignoring Josh's question. She walked across the room to the table expecting Josh to follow her in.

"Why didn't you use your key?" She asked turning around, but Josh wasn't standing behind her. He closed the door behind him slowly, quietly, and then reached into his pocket, pulling the single key out no longer attached to his key ring. He walked across the room away from her direction, and tossed the key gently on the counter. The metal echoed with a hollow sound. Kate registered the implications immediately.

"We need to talk." He put his hands in the pockets of his leather jacket and stayed at the counter, maintaining the distance between them, his helmet dangling from his arm by its strap.

"Let me guess." Kate looked down, hiding the hurt in her eyes. "You've decided to go back to Haiti."

"My work there isn't done. What I do is important to me, you know that. I know you wanted me to stay for us to try and really make this work. But since then, I've realized I'm not ready to settle down. I still want to see the world, Kate. I still want to change it for the better. You have your career. It is part of who you are, the same way my career is who I am. I'm not ready for what you want. I'm not ready to sacrifice part of that dream for something else."

"If this is about going to LA last week, I understood that you couldn't just leave to fly there with me. You had patients and surgery; people were depending on you. Chasing criminals isn't your job, it's mine."

"Chasing that one wasn't your job, or Castle's for that matter… but you had to do it." Silence again hung in the air between them. Josh stood there looking at her from across the room, still standing next to the counter, his hands still in his jacket pockets. His face was expressionless like he had been practicing what he was about to say all day.

"If it's Castle…" Kate started, but Josh's hand went up in a stopping motion and he closed his eyes to dismiss the irritating thorn of Richard Castle.

"This isn't about him," he said calmly and steadily. "I'm talking to you about us, not being ready to be us. I care about you, Kate; but I realized that I care about my career more right now. Just working at the hospital isn't enough for me, and I'm really not sure we fit very well into each other's lives at this point in time anymore. We are trying to force something that shouldn't need to be forced."

Kate set her glass down and folded her arms in front of her trying to retain her composure. "When are you leaving?"

"I decided quite a while ago, and made the arrangements then. I'm leaving early tomorrow morning. I'm already packed. I just hadn't figured out how to tell you before now, and now I have to. I'm sorry. I thought we would have talked this over sooner. but you've been so busy with your mother's case and…" Kate looked down trying to hide the tears as his voice trailed off not finishing his sentence, but it was no use. The silence between them felt like a canyon in the room. Kate didn't, couldn't move. Josh finally approached her and wrapped his arms around her in a final hug. She closed her eyes, her tear-streamed cheeks brushing against his face. Josh kissed Kate on the forehead and then touched his forehead to hers. "I think you have a lot to figure out right now." Kate tried to swallow the lump in her throat to speak as he turned away. Castle, he means Castle. By the time she looked up, Josh was already standing by the door about to leave.

"I thought you'd be here with me when I finally solved my mother's case," she said with a sobbing voice. "I thought we could put that part of my life to rest at last, together. I thought I'd start a new chapter of my life with you." Josh paused with his hand on the door handle as Kate stared at his back.

"I know, and I really want that for you. But... I also know you won't be alone, Kate…" Josh paused in his words, about to say something, but shakes his head instead and takes a deep breath. "You know Castle will be here for you." Josh turned back and looked at her intensely, eye-to-eye for the first time since he had arrived. "He loves you." The door closed behind him with a click.