The Experiment
Heavenly. It was the only word Lucy could use to describe the feeling pulsating through her, for what could be more blissful that to be alone with her dearest Mina for a whole entire night? Lucy should be used to the spontaneous sleepovers the girls had by now, but every time her beloved friend agreed to stay in her home for one evening as they went out frolicking until morning light, Lucy's heart skipped a beat. Not for the joy and happiness of having a wild night on the town, but instead for having Mina close to her, where the looming shadow of Jonathan did not taint the company that Lucy cherished.
"I can hardly see!" Mina giggled as she stepped out of her silky periwinkle gown, clutching the bedpost for support as she untangled her petticoats from around the heels of her shoes. Lucy had been watching her in the mirror, not realising it, but an enormous smile was spread on her cheeks and she had found herself chuckling.
"Well, that's what you get for demanding another glass of wine!" Lucy replied with a whimsical grin, bringing the silver padded brush down her golden locks delicately, sitting upon her stool facing the vanity mirror.
"That's what I get for going out with you!" Mina chuckled, raising her head to look at blonde, her lips spread wide into a humoured grin, before one of her famous girlish giggles left her lips and the sound made Lucy's heart melt at how wonderful it sounded, unable to hold back her own glee seeing her best friend this way, high upon happiness of her own.
With a small thump, Mina had fell onto the bed and quickly scrambled to tug the neatly made covers up to push her legs in and wriggle down like a child waiting on a bed time story from their mother or nurse. Lucy could not help but smile at how adorable she looked, she always did when she was half drunk. The alcohol would taint her cheeks a brisk shade of pink and she would be giddy and free, more so than she normally was. It was pleasant side of her, and Lucy was all the more glad that she had created the bliss that Mina was feeling, even if a bottle of the most delectable white wine had helped.
"I'm cold, come and keep me warm dearest Lucy!" Mina chuckled within the bed. Lucy was elated that the words had left Mina's own lips, even if they were meant in innocent friendly terms, she could at least hope.
Setting down her hairbrush, Lucy, who was already dressed for bed, moved and clambered in beside Mina with a wide smile on her face, it would be impossible to replace the glee she was feeling, it always was when she was in the company of her most beloved.
Hands curled delicately around Mina's form as Lucy rested her head against Mina's breast, snuggling up close to her. It was only a matter of seconds and the girls were already clinging to each other, to conceal what body heat they had to keep each other warm, Lucy's legs tangling around Mina's underneath the covers as she listened to her friend's beating heart. Heavenly.
"Did you see those waiters this evening?" Mina chuckled after a moment, Lucy felt the giggles leave her chest from laying upon her breast. "They looked so angry at us, I thought they'd have thrown us out."
"I think the entire restaurant wanted to throw us out!" Lucy chuckled, her speech slurred to the left side of her mouth as she lay on her cheek.
The two girls shared a laugh for a moment at the chaos they had caused this fine evening. Where they had ventured out with the intent of having fun, drinking more wine than a Lady deemed necessary and laughing as though they were the only two in the world.
"You are so wild, dearest Lucy! But I always enjoy my time with you." Mina laughed more softly now, the last of her loudness simmering away as she fell into a still and yet peaceful stance. Lucy was grinning from ear to ear, although Mina could not see it.
"Not as much as I enjoy spending time with you." Lucy replied, her arms around Mina clutching her all the tighter, a gentle squeeze to give off the ambiance of love and gratefulness that Mina immediately recognised. But she would not recognise the absolute truth in Lucy's words, how her world was built around her best friend and she cherished every waking moment in her company, instead Mina would brush it off as she always did, oblivious to the feelings stirring in Lucy's heart for a love she could not have.
But Lucy was bold, a lot bolder than most. If anything was to be said, then Lucy would bring it to voice. Many women found that trait unfathomable, that a Lady should speak her mind, but others found it endearing. Lucy was fearless in her ways and no one, in the least, could deny their envy of a woman so bold. But Lucy could not be brazen when with Mina, for the one truth she had concealed for so long was still locked up tight and she doubted she would ever reveal it. She was in love with Mina, and that was something she could not be bold enough to say. For Lucy may have had everything, but she did not have Mina; and the one thing she feared above all else, was rejection, and she was almost certain she would be faced with that reality the second she voiced the feelings in her heart.
Did Mina feel the same? It was unlikely. If so, why had she not revealed her affectionate thoughts already? But Lucy was merely kidding herself, she had seen the way Mina looked at Jonathan with doe eyes, she could almost hear her heart fluttering whenever they were in each other's company and how her dearest friend would weep and sulk when Jonathan was not by her. It angered Lucy, but not an anger that showed aggression or violence, an anger that was created out of the unfairness of it all. She wanted Mina to look at her like that, to be the center of her world like Mina was Lucy's. But that could never be.
"You know…" Lucy said, pulling herself away from the warm embrace of Mina to lay beside her instead, propping an arm up to lean the palm of her hand against her cheek, a cheek that ached from laying sideward for so long and blotched with the red outlines of the blanket.
"I read the most peculiar book last week." She said, a mischievous smile tugging at the edges of her lips as Mina suddenly became more alert. The brunette's blue eyes widening with delight and intrigue, sitting up the smallest bit to get a better view of Lucy's lovely face.
"What was it about?" Mina inquired, curiousity dripping from every syllable.
"Well… I shouldn't say… It is improper." Lucy's smile teetered on a naughtiness, she was begging Mina to ask her and badger her for the details, and Mina knew instantly what Lucy was up to.
Mina brought her nimble fingers away from the blanket to tickle her friend, finding her delicate underarms to wiggle a finger was enough to have Lucy erupt in laughter. The blonde kicked her legs in protest and Mina moved on top of her to tickle more ferociously so that Lucy could barely stand it, her eyes closed at the torture of the tickling and teasing her friend was betraying upon her.
"Tell me!" Mina said after a moment, fingers still digging into the soft skin of Lucy and exciting her, they were like two small children giggling after hours.
"Alright, alright!" Lucy proclaimed, trying to stifle her laughter, she did not want to wake her mother and have her come into scold the two girls into sleeping, when all she wanted to do was snigger under the covers.
Lucy's legs finally fell limp on the bed and Mina's fingers stopped caressing Lucy's skin to make her laugh in a form of torture, but she still sat over her like some leering predator, looking right into Lucy's face with a grin of devilment on her own. For a moment, Lucy felt exposed, to be in such close proximity with her best friend was nothing to Mina other than the idle mould of friendship, yet to Lucy it was so much more, it was hope. False hope at that.
"It was a book…" Lucy began, all the preceding audaciousness in her voice, eyes holding her usual daring mischievousness. "About two girls making love." Her tongue traced over her teeth as she said the last syllable, voicing the sentence as though it was an attempt to flirt or seduce Mina, but her sensual dramatic mannerisms were merely characteristics of Lucy that Mina was used to by now.
"Lucy!" Mina's eyed widened, her smile still in place, but now it was not withholding devilment, but astonishment instead. Immediately, the brunette dropped back to her side of the pillow, now holding Lucy's arm as she stared up into the ceiling. Lucy merely laughed at the girl's naivety.
"Whatever are you reading things like that for?" Mina asked after a moment, her head turning on the feathered pillow to look at her friend, who had resumed her place of leaning on her arm, hand propped against her cheek. Mina slapped her arm against Lucy's side playfully, unable to get over the demanding boldness of her friend.
"Oh come now, Mina." Lucy said, feeling a superiority in the reaction she received. Her reputation could not falter, Lucy was known for her wild way of being, and it should not be a surprise that she was lurking in the shadows of tainted pages that a Lady should avoid. Yet many would believe Lucy's delve into the erotica side of fiction was merely because she yearned to do what she should not, when in reality she had been lurking in those dark corners for answers, she was not alone after all in her sexual desires and lustful feelings for another girl. "Do not be so naïve."
"Oh how is that even possible anyway? Two girls making love!" Mina giggled again, that same airy laugh that made Lucy's heart beat faster, one that proved she had been up to no good. Yet her eyes showed she was enjoying the thrill of their naughty conversation.
"It sounded… rather easy." Lucy teased, eyeing Mina up from the corner of her eye with a wide smirk, knowing her provocative talking would spark a reaction from her friend, and it did.
"Lucy!" Mina gasped again, before an immature giggle ensued from her pink lips, lightly slapping her hand against Lucy's form a second time.
"Haven't you ever wondered what it's like… To kiss a girl?" Lucy asked suddenly, looking at Mina's perfect face. Her heart was beating all the faster in chest, afraid that the territory she was slipping onto was going to rile Mina and her friend might jerk away from the conversation and demand she stop. Then Lucy would be certain that the feelings she had for Miss Murray where indeed one sided.
"No." Mina said at once, her brows creasing as a simple laugh fluttered out of her open mouth, the remark was said as though Lucy should be daft for even suggesting it. But Mina knew as she watched her friend that Lucy had thought about it. "Isn't it wrong?"
"Oh Mina isn't everything wrong, but we do it anyway?" Lucy scoffed with a slight roll of her eyes. Surely two ladies going out with the intention of getting drunk was wrong. Everything enjoyable was banned on this earth, which was why Lucy had to break the rules, to get a taste for the wilder side of things.
"Have you ever wanted to?" Mina inquired, her tone lathered in curiosity.
"Of course… If only to know what it's like." Lucy said, looking at Mina now, the mischief in her eyes returning, tempting her friend with it. "I should quite like to try it… I hear it's all the rage at the boudoirs in Paris." Lucy let a small chuckle leave her as she watched Mina carefully, reading her expression as best she could. A fool could see that her friend was tempted by the idea of it.
"Wouldn't it just be like kissing a boy?" Mina asked, she reminded Lucy of a small child asking an obvious question. That same adorable innocence had returned to her face again, Lucy was smitten by it.
"Well I wouldn't know… I haven't tried it." Lucy remarked quickly, trying to play it cool as she always did. It was true, she had never kissed a girl, only stolen kisses from boys that meant nothing to her, and never would. Not when Mina was around. "I say we should try it." Her heart was immediately in her throat and her body clenched up, afraid of what might happen, of what Mina's response might be. But she had to maintain the delicate, cool expression on her face; as though this conversation wasn't affecting her in the slightest. If only Mina knew…
"Don't be ridiculous, Lucy!" Mina gasped again, the sort of gasp that entailed they should not even be having this conversation in the first place but it still sparked some familiarity that she had not expected anything less from Lucy.
"Oh come on, don't be such a scaredy cat!" Lucy teased, leaning closer to me with that same tempting glint in her eye.
"I'm not a scared." Mina demanded with a serious expression, the laughter hinting on the corners of her lips. "Wouldn't it be a tad strange, kissing your best friend?"
"Look at it as an experiment… I mean it's not like we intend to marry each other." Lucy let a forced laugh out, but Mina would hardly notice. It hurt her more than she dared admit to say those words, because she gladly would marry Mina. All she wanted was for the two to run off and never have to worry about a thing, but life was cruel like that, it crushed dreams and broke hearts.
But Mina did not respond. Her silence was a signal that she was willing to 'experiment' as Lucy had called it.
Lucy drew closer to her Mina, leaning over her. She was always a lot more promiscuous that Mina was, she found flirting and being surrounded by men a lot easier than most, things of this nature came naturally to her. Yet, Mina often blushed and turned away, unable to know what she was doing, which is exactly why Lucy perceived she had ended up with Jonathan, he was another fool that lacked the knowledge to woo a woman, a skill Lucy well and truly made up for.
Lucy's hands clutched Mina's and pulled them up to pin her against the pillow, she still maintained the same smirk and lingering giggle as she always had, to give off the impression that she was taking this whole situation as a joke, but it was so much more than that.
Inside, her heart was beating faster than she ever thought it could, and a mixture of lustful feelings stirred within her as she stared down into Mina's blue gaze. The brunette's mouth was hanging ajar, gaping and unable to know what to expect and her eyes ablaze with curiousity, whilst Lucy's were alight with desire.
"Don't tell a soul." Mina whispered quickly, a slight panic in her eyes that she might back out of this and realise the wrong in it, but she did not. Lucy let a gentle smirk fall on her lips, as she shook her head to assure her friend, this would just be between the two of them.
Slowly Lucy moved her head down closer to Mina's lips, her heart fluttering with a sensation of butterflies flapping around in her stomach, and a pleasurable tingling everywhere in her body.
Pink, soft lips grazed against one another as Lucy finally touched her own with Mina's. She felt at that single touch that she might explode, every sensation in her body going off like fireworks, feeling the soft touch of Mina's lips against her own. She was starting thinking it was a cruel dream that she would soon wake up from. But it was well and truly happening and Lucy would not waste a second of it.
Lucy moved her lips slowly against Mina's, who was quick to reciprocate. With a surge of courage, her tongue moved into Mina's mouth and curled it around hers, grazing the soft delightful wetness of it and the foreign feeling it brought to her, but a delightful one all the same.
Pushing her body that bit closer to Mina's without pulling away, Lucy grasped her hand all the tighter, giving it a squeeze to show the amorous excitability it gave her. Before long, she realised she was generously kissing Mina and not wanting to stop, her lips moving in a sweet motion, feeling the plumpness of Mina's lips beneath her own and the graceful tenderness of her tongue as it absorbed the delicacy of her mouth. A thousand feelings fluttered thorough her, she felt animalistic, wanting to push the boundaries even further and go as far as Mina could possibly allow.
Growing more aroused as the seconds passed, Lucy felt a burst of feelings she had never felt before, a soft tingling in private places, a gentle shiver down her spine. Her eyes were frayed with the dizziness on the feeling of Mina beneath her, she could hear nothing but the sound of her heart beating in her ears as she kissed her like she never wanted to stop, and she didn't want to stop.
But like all good things, it had to end. Mina tugged away after what felt like a lifetime, but only to pull her now swollen red lips from the wanton kiss, into a grin, showing her pearly white teeth. A loud, whimsy laugh escaped her as she touched her nose with Lucy's, still clutching hands.
Lucy could do little but smile in return and let a similar laugh leave her own mouth, but it was not genuine. For a second she had started to believe that Mina was attracted to her, that she always had been. That the kiss would not stop and they could be like the two girls in her novel, adoringly making love with one another until the first light of sun broke through the windows and fell upon their naked bodies intertwined with one another.
"For a second, I thought you weren't going to stop!" Mina giggled as though the whole idea was ridiculous. Lucy merely returned the laugh and pulled her hands away from Mina's to sit up for a moment. She could not look into Mina's perfect blue eyes just yet, in fear of revealing her own hurt.
"Don't be silly." Lucy brushed off, trying to hold as much as the slyness as she had before in her tone, it wasn't working, but Mina didn't notice.
"You are certainly a remarkable kisser, Miss Lucy!" Mina teased with a gentle shove in Lucy's back, but Lucy was not in the mood for joking. She quickly turned her head to show a gentle smile and a scoff as though it was nothing to her.
"I don't think Jonathan has ever kissed me like that!" Mina chuckled, but with each airy laugh Lucy felt like crying. The one thing that so often made Lucy's heart skip a beat now made her want to burst into tears.
Lucy turned and snuggled down beside her friend once more, resuming her position before any of this had happened; her cheek upon Mina's breast where it had been before, both of her arms pulled around her as her head listened softly to the sound of Mina's beating heart.
"I shall tell you one thing, though." Mina said after a moment of silence, her delicate fingers touching the blonde wisps of Lucy's hair.
"What's that?" Lucy asked, her voice hopeful.
"If it doesn't work out with Jonathan, I shall rely on you." Yet Lucy could hear the smirk in her voice, the humour behind her words as she spoke. It broke her heart.
Hot tears sprang to the green of Lucy's eyes and dripped down the left side of her face and into the duvet, glad that Mina could not see how saddened she was. If she could, what would she say? That she had always been in love with her best friend and Mina had just proven nothing would come of it? It would ruin their friendship forever, and Lucy would rather have Mina close than not at all.
As a response, Lucy merely let a soft grunt leave her lips to indicate the joking humour shared in Mina's words. Her heart beat softer and slower than it had done before, when she was kissing the soft skin of Mina's lips, but she could almost hear it breaking here in the silence of the room as tears dripped silently down her cheeks, afraid to speak in case the painful lump in her throat echoed out into a sob and all was revealed.
They lay in silence for a long while after that, so long that the oil lamps were dimming and submerging them into darkness, where shadows were cast up the floral wallpaper and the moonlight filtered in upon them, like two kittens curled up next to one another. Mina's fingers tickled the soft locks of Lucy's blonde hair, delicately and soothingly, while Lucy lay enjoying the soft touch of Mina's skin against her hair, her eyes closing as sleep pulled her softly away to the subconscious part of her mind, the melodic light thump of a heartbeat in her ear.