A/N: A request from someone on my tumblr (same name there as here, feel free to look me up and sent me a writing prompt).
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"Once upurrn a time there was a magical kingdom. And all throughout that kingdom there were purrfect clawpuls.
"There was a ghost and her big strong robot champion. And a sea captian and her furst matesprite. And the brave knight and the clevpurr legislatorator dragon. And even Pupa Pan and the King of Clowns!
"And of course, the beautiful mermaid princess and the two-headed-"
"The twwo-headed monster wwas cut in half by the bravve and dashin' pirate-"
"Eridaaaan! You can't DO that!"
Nepeta's fangs clicked as she pouted. Her olive coat-covered arms folded over her chest as she frowned at her companion.
Eridan frowned back. "Wwell wwhy not?"
"Beclaws," Nepeta rolled her eyes, looking put-upon, "Its God-moding and its not fair! I told you that already."
The young troll put his hands on his hips. He muttered something about shutting up and getting back to the story.
"Anywaaaay… Everybody had somebody to love and adore fur evfur and evfur. Everybody except…" she paused for effect. Her bright green eyes looked expectantly at Eridan.
He grudgingly muttered along, starting to blush a very light purple. "The leftovers."
Nepeta cuddled into the highblood. They were so cost in her hive, snuggled as cute as could be. Eridan was sitting stiffly, legs folded into a pretzel and his back to the wall, while Nepeta looked more relaxed, gesturing animatedly and rolling about on the floor beside Eridan.
"Yup! The dashing purrirate-"
"Wwizard," interjected Eridan.
"Purrirate wizard," amended the cat troll without skipping a beat. "And the agile-"
"Lowwblodded," added Eridan under his breath.
"What was that?"
"Nofin'!"
"…The agile cat huntress. And they were all alone. Everybody else was set up but them. And it was so sad!" She rolled onto her back, dramatically pulling a faux-faint that set her head in Eridan's lap. His cheeks flushed a deeper purple.
"But!" Nepeta cracked and eye open. "The Shipping Wall of Fate had other purrlans…!"
Eridan took over. "And one day, the dashin' pirate wwizard found the agile, beautiful cat huntress-"
"Because she was hunting fish by the sea and his ship was purrassing by and he spotted her and fell hopelessly in love," Nepeta dashed in some commentary, advanced-RPer stlye.
The non-seadwelling sea-dweller nodded. "Right. And he wwent up to her and he said," Eridan swallowed hard and tried to make his voice sound extra manly. "Youre the lovliest cat I'vve evver seen an' I-"
"No, that's not it!"
The boy hesitated "…Its not?"
"Nope! The huntress pounced on the dashing purrirate wizard and challenged him to a duel!"
"A duel?"
"To the death! And she was totally winning. But in the end she decided that the purrirate wizard was kinda' cure. So she let him live."
"But, Nep," Erifan said, sounding a little lost, "That's not wwhat happened."
"Oh I know, but its a better role play this way!" she explained cheerfully.
The purpleblood shifted awkwardly and looked down at the troll girl in his lap. "…Nep?"
She gave him a toothy smile. "Yah, Eridan?"
"…I lovve you."
"I love you too."
He leaned down and gave her a short, sweet peck on the lips.
"Best leftovers evpurr," Nepeta announced. Eridan had to agree.